"Wha... HUH? You're *OINK* still HERE!?"

"Of COURSE, my little pork chop! Why WOULDN'T I be?"

"Well, to be *OINK* honest... most guys who see me in the cold light of dawn can't *OINK* leave here FAST enough!"

"Now I can't believe that for a MINUTE! I had a GREAT time last night!"

"You DID?"

"HELL yeah! You were quite the chatterbox in the bar. I couldn't shut you up if I'd TRIED. You kept going on about literature, art, history, politics..."

"That's the *OINK* first time any guy LISTENED to me for that long! I guess I *OINK* got carried AWAY!"

"No! No! It was very interesting! Usually the SMART girls treat me like I'm crawling with MAGGOTS or something. You actually seemed to enjoy talking to me!"

"You KNOW, it didn't HURT that you *OINK* kept buying me DRINKS all night. And what did YOU have... *OINK* like TWO BEERS? That's a *OINK* RECORD for a guy picking ME up... what, did you *SNUFFLE* load up BEFOREHAND?"

"NO! I was STONE COLD SOBER when I spotted you! I KNEW that you were someone I HAD to get to know."

"So... what you're *OINK* telling me is... you don't MIND that I'm a pig?"

"Don't... mind... You don't GET it yet, DO you? I'm absolutely, head-over-heels, dancing-on-the-ceiling ECSTATIC that you're a pig!"

"...Wow... I've got to *OINK* PROCESS this one... You're either INSANE or the *OINK* man of my dreams!"

"Can't I be BOTH? And while you're PROCESSING stuff... how about you process THIS?"

"Wha... oh... my... GOD! Ohhh... ohhhh... *OINK* *SNORT* *SNUFFLE* *SNUFFLE* *SNORT!* *SNORT* *WREEEEEEEEEEEEET* *WREEEEEEEEEEET!*