LOSING YOURSELF // FINDING NOTHING

FINDING YOURSELF // LOSING NOTHING

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fragments of grief::

[[[//our flesh is screaming//

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\it hates our bones\

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//our blood wants to be free//

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\freedom is a trap\

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//nothing is natural//

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\walls existed before people\]]]

[[[\bloated with blood\

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//pregnant with the rot of itself//

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\

]]]

//i//want to sing. i hurt and i want to sing so i think singing will make it hurt less but it doesn’t. the song sustains itself//

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\no walls to shatter the sound\

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//the song sustains itself//

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\but it has no echo\

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//there might as well be no song//

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\there might as well be no song\

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//no song. no song. no song. no song.

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forgetting again. waking up. over and over. i forget when i sleep and i forget when i awaken again. your face is softer than i remember. shadows only exist in the presence of light. nothing makes sense until it’s gone. no song.

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i can’t say it all again. i’m not strong enough. it’s gone too far. i’m waking up. i’ll forget again. again and again. i’ll forget and forget. but it’s ok. it’s ok. it’s ok. it’s ok. it’s ok. it’s ok because it has to be. the flesh is endless death and god is so small.