Yes.
This might be it.
This might be the end of my 16 year old journey through what i was thinking was a hobby of mine.

Since years now, im struggling about health problems and actual psychological problems...

My Moral is not only that im "unmotivated" anymore, its on ground zero levels. I hitted rock bottom. I dont want anymore nor do i want to keep going.

Look, this is not made to make people around me look bad even if i might sound at some parts like i blame people - no, im glad people enjoy my stuff and im sure glad what i accomplished. I was from the very beginning in the mind set that i will never be a great artist nor a good one nor would i like to be one of the bigger known ones - in short: what i did was not becourse i did it for fame, i did it coz it made me feel good and happy and i wanted to share that.

But since the last years...
I feel like with my health problems and the heavy demotivation problems...and that actual my original content seems like getting no attention over all seems like for me that there is "no need" for me to keep it actually going IF every other ripped off copyrighted or trademarked character i have drawn gets 10 times more attention than all the other stuff i did before, literally.

Biggest problem is that i dont understand what i do wrong.
I have actually not a "brain problem", i, sadly, have a very quick and logical thinking brain (i had to made a test for ones about that, dont ask me why; over an IQ of 120, diagnosed of an over-average fast thinking brain which can imagen stuff very fast - or in other words: my head cinema works so fast that even if you just tell me to think not about kittys, my brain has already 5 of them in the head with super cute eyes and detailed fur). If you keep that in mind, might seems like i sound egoistical at some corners and i really am sorry about that. I dont make a lot friends the way i am thinking and thats one reason why i think its just cheep to use the work of other creators or bigger creators just to get people to "Notice you" (, sanpai).

All i wanted is to stay true to my words that my art should be fun and a hobby, not a forced work.

After all, all i did, all i tried and everyone i helped like Faly breen or others, all the effort went into limbo - and that feels like i dont grain the respect nor do i see its actually worth to keep going.

So with that said, i dont know anymore (and no, im not asking for "someone who goes on to critique my stuff". As i said and made even samples and jokes about, i can draw a pose with my character and people nood it just off - 2 days later i can draw the same pose and use the same style with a more known character and the picture suddendly "Booms" like crazy so im sure here to say, its not my style which is "bad" or something similar...).

This might be the last for now, forever or for a long long break.

But all i say for now is, im giving up. I go on and will for sure draw one last picture for this year as "my last for this year" but as for the next year(s)...im not sure if i will change or leave. As i hinted already, i might go just privat but yet, i cant tell. i just cant.

So with heavy heart...i leave you with this...for now.

oh and just in case, yea, after you read this and HEARD ME, i dont think i need to explain the t-nail here.