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More from AboxofDeth
A short novel I commissioned from 
joshiah. This is a story chronicaling an (admittedly self insert) asexual lion learning why he feels "different" from everyone else. This story explores my personal journey, using a mix of actual experiences, perceived fears, and a desired happy ending. Ace representation is fairly lacking in most sorts of media. Knowing that I can fund a story for visibility and that Josh somehow can pull a thorough description of my emotions and feelings from just a brief description, I wanted to contribute to others hopefully finding themselves earlier than I did. Or even just a cathartic read for those that have experienced similar.
Words can only flow so fast. I am still working out the details with Josh, but we are open to folks contributing to rush fees to speed it up and/or towards a nest egg for a physical print. If you're interested in doing so, let me or Josh know and we'll see what we can offer!
Prolog - You are here
Chapter 1 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/39823481/
Chapter 2 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40880819/
Chapter 3 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41397400/
Chapter 4 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41397446/
Chapter 5 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41845358/
Chapter 6 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/42045373/
Chapter 7+ - On the way
__________________________________
If grains of sand had ears, they would have the funniest stories to tell to the playground equipment that was rooted into the dirt beneath them.
As those grains were scooped up in buckets, pushed together and forced into castles, or stepped on by the pitter-patter of young paws stamping the ground, the words exchanged above were considered such small and careless things, they have found a way to slip through what seemed like airtight cracks in that very same sand.
The weight those words truly held, however, was something that most children couldn’t comprehend, or simply didn’t have the desire to.
“Who’s ready for a snaaaaack?”
The siren call of a mother, stepping outside with a tray of sandwiches, the crusts cut off and discarded, was perhaps the only thing that could snap the kids out of their afternoon trance. They were astronauts, firefighters, professional athletes and superstars, all until that voice tickled their ears and reminded them that they were just children.
Weights from those ethereal worlds were shrugged off and left in the sandbox as the kids rushed over to greet the woman charged with their care for the day, but she kept the tray of sandwiches out of their reach, and the reason why should have been obvious to them…but sometimes, children had to be reminded of their routines.
“Come inside and wash up, then,” she said, talking over the constant cheers of ‘Me, me!’ and ‘I want one! I want one!’
A collective groan walked through the backdoor as the kids kicked off their shoes and lined up at the sink, taking turns washing their hands, usually a bit too hastily, before rushing to take a seat at the table. Glasses of lemonade were already poured and waiting, and a napkin was neatly folded in front of each chair; it was a great deal of work that the kids were destined to undo, but those were the days of taking such things for granted.
It was only Deth who waited to grab his napkin from in front of his place at the table until the sandwiches were set down, and he waited until everyone else had already grabbed one, thinking it best to make sure everyone else had a chance before he took his own.
There were plenty to go around: Arle wasn’t the kind of mom to let her kids go hungry, and she looked at all of the children she was trusted with that afternoon as her own children, even if they were just friends of her son.
“Looks like you all worked up quite an appetite. If that’s not enough, I’ll start working on a second batch for you,” she offered. “Just don’t eat too fast! I don’t want any tummy aches when you head back outside!”
The peaceful breeze of early Autumn was rolling in through the open windows, the promise of school starting up again was weighing heavily on the minds of each child, and that didn’t even scratch the surface of their concerns for how to spend the rest of their day.
Even Deth was worried about making sure that he spent enough time climbing around on the monkey bars, digging holes in the sand and running laps around the sandbox, but there was a subtle difference between him and the others, sitting just far enough below the surface that it wasn’t the kind of thing you could guess was there.
Like the greatest treasures one might be able to unearth, you had to dig past the grains of sand to reveal the mystery: it wasn’t with intent, but with casual curiosity that Arle, while bringing over a second plate of sandwiches, accidentally stumbled on the very first clue.
“I overheard you playing out there,” she cut her way into the conversation as she set down the next plate of food. “Sounds like I’ve got a bunch of little heroes in the yard today, don’t I?”
Red was the first one to look up to Arle, wearing a bright, eager grin. “That’s right! We put out like…a dozen fires today.”
“A dozen? We really need to start making these buildings out of something a little safer, don’t we?” she asked, trying to fend off a giggle…but the bounce of her full, blonde tresses revealed more of her amusement than she intended. “But at least you’re putting out those fires so we can be entertained by our little starlets!”
The young lion was still beaming with pride at the mention of his accomplishments, but it was Nimbus and Flair who took center stage. “We wouldn’t have been able to put on such an awesome show if Red hadn’t put out all of those fires for us,” Nimbus admitted. “We’re doing another one after lunch to raise money for the department!”
Flair nodded eagerly. The pair of canines were aptly named for their rock and roll dream, and a pair of sticks with strings attached made for excellent guitars, in a pinch. “I bet we’re gonna have a sellout crowd by the time we get back out there.”
“Just don’t forget to thank Deth,” Red pointed out. “If it wasn’t for him, I never would have gotten all of those fires out in time!”
Giving his close friend a nudge, Red hoped that he might spread his infectious smile. It took, but it wasn’t quite as wide when Deth tried to mirror the appearance.
Both were lions of gray fur, but their altering manes were the easiest way to tell them apart. Where Red had hair that was a namesake, Deth was his opposite in appearance, with follicles of blue that were long overdue to be cut.
“Yeah, we…we really did a great job, didn’t we?” Deth finally spoke up. “Definitely earned a nice, homecooked meal, didn’t we?”
The boy had his own voice, but he was young and nomadic, the same as many other children. He wasn’t sure if he preferred playing firefighter or astronaut, and that lack of decisiveness meant he usually had to play along with others when they came to a decision, even if it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to do.
Happy to be included and happy to have a friend like Red looking out for him, Deth smiled a little wider and finally dug into his first sandwich.
“Sounds to me like you did,” Arle agreed. “I can just imagine the two of you fighting fires together, all dolled up in your gear and riding on a fire engine; it’s just precious!”
The kids were all giggling at her reaction…they were at just the right age that a boy being called ‘precious’ or ‘adorable’ wasn’t exactly a compliment, and it definitely wasn’t cool, even when an adult had their best interests in mind.
Sensing her mistake, Arle interjected before the kids had a chance to giggle at Deth’s expense. “So…what else were you all talking about this afternoon?”
Nimbus was looking up at his mom with a glow. “We were talking about what we wanted to do when we grow up!”
“Is that right?” she asked. An intuitive woman, she could see that Deth was glad to have the attention taken off of him for a moment. “And what do you want to do when you grow up, Nimbus?”
“I wanna marry the prettiest girl in the whole school,” he answered, speaking with such practice that he sounded like a proper romantic. “And we’re gonna have like, a million, billion babies!”
“That poor, poor woman,” Arle joked under her breath. “Maybe you should start with a more reasonable number, like a hundred?”
“Nope. Million billion.”
Smiling uneasily, Arle looked around the rest of the table. “Well, it seems my son is set on keeping a young woman very busy in a few years. And what about you, Flair?”
Orange eyes stared down the bridge of a canine muzzle as the child gave greater contemplation to his answer. “I dunno! I think I want a girl kinda like my mom…someone who likes to make chicken nuggets for dinner every night.”
Where Arle was hiding her giggle, the rest of the kids were nodding their agreement at the concept. “Oh, for sure,” Red concurred. “Any girl who cooks like that would definitely be a girl worth keeping.”
“You boys really don’t think you’re ever going to get tired of chicken nuggets?”
“I mean, she should probably make fries, too,” Red added. “And they taste way better when they come from the oven than the microwave, and when we’re older, she’ll be able to use the oven, so that…that’s like, perfect!”
“So one of you is all about looks, and two of you are all about food, it seems.”
“I want her to be cute, too!” Flair chimed in. “But…y-yeah. Chicken nuggets are probably a deal breaker. If she doesn’t like those, I don’t think I can make it work.”
“Trust me, there’s a lot more to a relationship than how a girl looks or how she cooks. You boys need to start taking more concern about what’s under the surface,” Arle suggested. “Well…someday soon you should do that, anyway.”
“Hey, what about Deth?” Nimbus asked. “He never said what kind of girl he’d want to grow up with!”
Being the supportive friend that he was, Red thought he was doing Deth a favor when he spoke up in his stead. “Oh, I’m sure he’d be just as happy with a cute, chicken nugget girl as the rest of us.”
The term ‘cute chicken nugget girl’ nearly broke Arle, but she kept her composure when she saw Deth unnerved by the concept that Red offered for him.
Her expression softened and she looked him over with concern, wondering what about the subject was bothering him. “Do you think you’d like a girl that makes fish sticks better than a girl who likes chicken nuggets, Deth?”
The question was a well-meaning attempt at humor, and Arle was sure it would lighten the situation. When the other boys giggled, they weren’t giggling at Deth, but the poor lion couldn’t help feeling like that was the case; he set his sandwich back on his napkin and stared at it, feeling listless in his search for an answer.
“…Deth?”
“I…I don’t know…”
The other boys came naturally to the conclusion that they’d end up with a pretty girl, and whatever came after that was just the silly fantasy of a child, thinking of the impossible amount of children they’d have, or the unhealthy food they’d indulge every single night.
For being so quiet and reserved, Deth was wearing his emotions on his sleeve right then, as he gave more thought to the question than any of the others had…but for some reason, there wasn’t a girl in any of his answers.
He wasn’t sure what there was, if anything.
“That’s okay, sweetie,” Arle whispered, hoping to comfort him; she couldn’t help a tinge of guilt for seeing how shaken he was. “Some of us need a little more time to figure out what we want from life, or from a partner…and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.”
Somewhere inside, Deth was worried that the other boys might make fun of him for not being sure if he liked girls or not, but he was able to count on Red to give him another nudge. “Yeah…who needs gross, smelly girls anyway? We’ve got fires to fight!”
“Boys, that wasn’t really th-
“Come on! The bank is on fire again!” Red declared, cutting Arle off and leaving her in a huff as he dragged Deth outside.
“Oh no! My multibillion-dollar banking industry!” Nimbus looked sincerely panicked at the idea as he rushed out after them, leaving Flair to sit at the table by himself.
He offered Arle a meek smile. “Th-thank you for lunch, Mrs. Arle!” he said, before chasing the other boys out the door. “I saw the whole thing, Nimbus! The man who started the fire ran that way!”
The boys were back to just being boys, having their fun on the playground and wandering through whatever fantastical, imaginary playland they could come up with. The luster in the eye of one firefighter was forever tarnished, however, by the weight of the conversation at that kitchen table.
No matter what role he took on when they got together to play the next day, he wouldn’t be able to shake the feeling, however small, that something about him just wasn’t right.
_____________________________
joshiah. This is a story chronicaling an (admittedly self insert) asexual lion learning why he feels "different" from everyone else. This story explores my personal journey, using a mix of actual experiences, perceived fears, and a desired happy ending. Ace representation is fairly lacking in most sorts of media. Knowing that I can fund a story for visibility and that Josh somehow can pull a thorough description of my emotions and feelings from just a brief description, I wanted to contribute to others hopefully finding themselves earlier than I did. Or even just a cathartic read for those that have experienced similar.Words can only flow so fast. I am still working out the details with Josh, but we are open to folks contributing to rush fees to speed it up and/or towards a nest egg for a physical print. If you're interested in doing so, let me or Josh know and we'll see what we can offer!
Prolog - You are here
Chapter 1 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/39823481/
Chapter 2 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40880819/
Chapter 3 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41397400/
Chapter 4 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41397446/
Chapter 5 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41845358/
Chapter 6 - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/42045373/
Chapter 7+ - On the way
__________________________________
If grains of sand had ears, they would have the funniest stories to tell to the playground equipment that was rooted into the dirt beneath them.
As those grains were scooped up in buckets, pushed together and forced into castles, or stepped on by the pitter-patter of young paws stamping the ground, the words exchanged above were considered such small and careless things, they have found a way to slip through what seemed like airtight cracks in that very same sand.
The weight those words truly held, however, was something that most children couldn’t comprehend, or simply didn’t have the desire to.
“Who’s ready for a snaaaaack?”
The siren call of a mother, stepping outside with a tray of sandwiches, the crusts cut off and discarded, was perhaps the only thing that could snap the kids out of their afternoon trance. They were astronauts, firefighters, professional athletes and superstars, all until that voice tickled their ears and reminded them that they were just children.
Weights from those ethereal worlds were shrugged off and left in the sandbox as the kids rushed over to greet the woman charged with their care for the day, but she kept the tray of sandwiches out of their reach, and the reason why should have been obvious to them…but sometimes, children had to be reminded of their routines.
“Come inside and wash up, then,” she said, talking over the constant cheers of ‘Me, me!’ and ‘I want one! I want one!’
A collective groan walked through the backdoor as the kids kicked off their shoes and lined up at the sink, taking turns washing their hands, usually a bit too hastily, before rushing to take a seat at the table. Glasses of lemonade were already poured and waiting, and a napkin was neatly folded in front of each chair; it was a great deal of work that the kids were destined to undo, but those were the days of taking such things for granted.
It was only Deth who waited to grab his napkin from in front of his place at the table until the sandwiches were set down, and he waited until everyone else had already grabbed one, thinking it best to make sure everyone else had a chance before he took his own.
There were plenty to go around: Arle wasn’t the kind of mom to let her kids go hungry, and she looked at all of the children she was trusted with that afternoon as her own children, even if they were just friends of her son.
“Looks like you all worked up quite an appetite. If that’s not enough, I’ll start working on a second batch for you,” she offered. “Just don’t eat too fast! I don’t want any tummy aches when you head back outside!”
The peaceful breeze of early Autumn was rolling in through the open windows, the promise of school starting up again was weighing heavily on the minds of each child, and that didn’t even scratch the surface of their concerns for how to spend the rest of their day.
Even Deth was worried about making sure that he spent enough time climbing around on the monkey bars, digging holes in the sand and running laps around the sandbox, but there was a subtle difference between him and the others, sitting just far enough below the surface that it wasn’t the kind of thing you could guess was there.
Like the greatest treasures one might be able to unearth, you had to dig past the grains of sand to reveal the mystery: it wasn’t with intent, but with casual curiosity that Arle, while bringing over a second plate of sandwiches, accidentally stumbled on the very first clue.
“I overheard you playing out there,” she cut her way into the conversation as she set down the next plate of food. “Sounds like I’ve got a bunch of little heroes in the yard today, don’t I?”
Red was the first one to look up to Arle, wearing a bright, eager grin. “That’s right! We put out like…a dozen fires today.”
“A dozen? We really need to start making these buildings out of something a little safer, don’t we?” she asked, trying to fend off a giggle…but the bounce of her full, blonde tresses revealed more of her amusement than she intended. “But at least you’re putting out those fires so we can be entertained by our little starlets!”
The young lion was still beaming with pride at the mention of his accomplishments, but it was Nimbus and Flair who took center stage. “We wouldn’t have been able to put on such an awesome show if Red hadn’t put out all of those fires for us,” Nimbus admitted. “We’re doing another one after lunch to raise money for the department!”
Flair nodded eagerly. The pair of canines were aptly named for their rock and roll dream, and a pair of sticks with strings attached made for excellent guitars, in a pinch. “I bet we’re gonna have a sellout crowd by the time we get back out there.”
“Just don’t forget to thank Deth,” Red pointed out. “If it wasn’t for him, I never would have gotten all of those fires out in time!”
Giving his close friend a nudge, Red hoped that he might spread his infectious smile. It took, but it wasn’t quite as wide when Deth tried to mirror the appearance.
Both were lions of gray fur, but their altering manes were the easiest way to tell them apart. Where Red had hair that was a namesake, Deth was his opposite in appearance, with follicles of blue that were long overdue to be cut.
“Yeah, we…we really did a great job, didn’t we?” Deth finally spoke up. “Definitely earned a nice, homecooked meal, didn’t we?”
The boy had his own voice, but he was young and nomadic, the same as many other children. He wasn’t sure if he preferred playing firefighter or astronaut, and that lack of decisiveness meant he usually had to play along with others when they came to a decision, even if it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to do.
Happy to be included and happy to have a friend like Red looking out for him, Deth smiled a little wider and finally dug into his first sandwich.
“Sounds to me like you did,” Arle agreed. “I can just imagine the two of you fighting fires together, all dolled up in your gear and riding on a fire engine; it’s just precious!”
The kids were all giggling at her reaction…they were at just the right age that a boy being called ‘precious’ or ‘adorable’ wasn’t exactly a compliment, and it definitely wasn’t cool, even when an adult had their best interests in mind.
Sensing her mistake, Arle interjected before the kids had a chance to giggle at Deth’s expense. “So…what else were you all talking about this afternoon?”
Nimbus was looking up at his mom with a glow. “We were talking about what we wanted to do when we grow up!”
“Is that right?” she asked. An intuitive woman, she could see that Deth was glad to have the attention taken off of him for a moment. “And what do you want to do when you grow up, Nimbus?”
“I wanna marry the prettiest girl in the whole school,” he answered, speaking with such practice that he sounded like a proper romantic. “And we’re gonna have like, a million, billion babies!”
“That poor, poor woman,” Arle joked under her breath. “Maybe you should start with a more reasonable number, like a hundred?”
“Nope. Million billion.”
Smiling uneasily, Arle looked around the rest of the table. “Well, it seems my son is set on keeping a young woman very busy in a few years. And what about you, Flair?”
Orange eyes stared down the bridge of a canine muzzle as the child gave greater contemplation to his answer. “I dunno! I think I want a girl kinda like my mom…someone who likes to make chicken nuggets for dinner every night.”
Where Arle was hiding her giggle, the rest of the kids were nodding their agreement at the concept. “Oh, for sure,” Red concurred. “Any girl who cooks like that would definitely be a girl worth keeping.”
“You boys really don’t think you’re ever going to get tired of chicken nuggets?”
“I mean, she should probably make fries, too,” Red added. “And they taste way better when they come from the oven than the microwave, and when we’re older, she’ll be able to use the oven, so that…that’s like, perfect!”
“So one of you is all about looks, and two of you are all about food, it seems.”
“I want her to be cute, too!” Flair chimed in. “But…y-yeah. Chicken nuggets are probably a deal breaker. If she doesn’t like those, I don’t think I can make it work.”
“Trust me, there’s a lot more to a relationship than how a girl looks or how she cooks. You boys need to start taking more concern about what’s under the surface,” Arle suggested. “Well…someday soon you should do that, anyway.”
“Hey, what about Deth?” Nimbus asked. “He never said what kind of girl he’d want to grow up with!”
Being the supportive friend that he was, Red thought he was doing Deth a favor when he spoke up in his stead. “Oh, I’m sure he’d be just as happy with a cute, chicken nugget girl as the rest of us.”
The term ‘cute chicken nugget girl’ nearly broke Arle, but she kept her composure when she saw Deth unnerved by the concept that Red offered for him.
Her expression softened and she looked him over with concern, wondering what about the subject was bothering him. “Do you think you’d like a girl that makes fish sticks better than a girl who likes chicken nuggets, Deth?”
The question was a well-meaning attempt at humor, and Arle was sure it would lighten the situation. When the other boys giggled, they weren’t giggling at Deth, but the poor lion couldn’t help feeling like that was the case; he set his sandwich back on his napkin and stared at it, feeling listless in his search for an answer.
“…Deth?”
“I…I don’t know…”
The other boys came naturally to the conclusion that they’d end up with a pretty girl, and whatever came after that was just the silly fantasy of a child, thinking of the impossible amount of children they’d have, or the unhealthy food they’d indulge every single night.
For being so quiet and reserved, Deth was wearing his emotions on his sleeve right then, as he gave more thought to the question than any of the others had…but for some reason, there wasn’t a girl in any of his answers.
He wasn’t sure what there was, if anything.
“That’s okay, sweetie,” Arle whispered, hoping to comfort him; she couldn’t help a tinge of guilt for seeing how shaken he was. “Some of us need a little more time to figure out what we want from life, or from a partner…and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.”
Somewhere inside, Deth was worried that the other boys might make fun of him for not being sure if he liked girls or not, but he was able to count on Red to give him another nudge. “Yeah…who needs gross, smelly girls anyway? We’ve got fires to fight!”
“Boys, that wasn’t really th-
“Come on! The bank is on fire again!” Red declared, cutting Arle off and leaving her in a huff as he dragged Deth outside.
“Oh no! My multibillion-dollar banking industry!” Nimbus looked sincerely panicked at the idea as he rushed out after them, leaving Flair to sit at the table by himself.
He offered Arle a meek smile. “Th-thank you for lunch, Mrs. Arle!” he said, before chasing the other boys out the door. “I saw the whole thing, Nimbus! The man who started the fire ran that way!”
The boys were back to just being boys, having their fun on the playground and wandering through whatever fantastical, imaginary playland they could come up with. The luster in the eye of one firefighter was forever tarnished, however, by the weight of the conversation at that kitchen table.
No matter what role he took on when they got together to play the next day, he wouldn’t be able to shake the feeling, however small, that something about him just wasn’t right.
_____________________________
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 18.5 kB
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