
I have been toying with the idea of uploading this for a while. This is the opening chapter of my (work in progress) novel, which is a science fiction fantasy set on a distant world. A warning, this story does contain dragons; however, all of the POV characters are, for now, human, so I don't really consider it a 'furry' story. I have had some very polarising feedback, with some who love it and others, not so much, so I'd be very interested in hearing feedback :)
See the blurb below:
On the brink of a war between two nations, Rami and Mira race against the clock to find missing members of an advanced alien race who hide on their home planet.
Finding himself in a terrible accident, Ferret the diplomat wakes in a hospital to find a changed world. Soon he is under attack but learns of strength and killer instinct he never knew he had.
A reluctant war hero and brilliant scientist, Richard, hides from a mysterious cult who are bent on blackmailing him to their will. But the cogs of the world are turning and an old friend has found the key to breaking the Cult’s hold on him.
The God Box, an artefact rumoured to calculate the answer to any question, is pursued by the powers of the universe and as Rami, Ferret, and Richard begin to have apocalyptic visions centred around the dragon, Rakaton, they are drawn together in a search for answers, a search for the God Box.
Prologue
When time was young and the Chain old, a new race was born with an individual. The Chain watched as her thoughts and substance clumped together in the void. Her purpose would be absolute and devastating, her existence divine and her destiny predetermined.
Time stretched before her like a thread, a thread that interwove with the Chain eternally. Doors to countless realities existed at every point and time, doors that could be entered without hope of return. The Chain twisted around her mind, programming her motives, imparting its vast knowledge upon her as a flood upon a desert.
She would have roared in pain but remembered that the pain would not exist until she took physical form. Most of the knowledge imparted to her were memories involving an ancient race, a race that had to destroy itself to become something greater. These memories were legion, but trivial compared to the small thing that lay at the centre of her mind, a simple equation that – within the context of her memories – explained everything.
She wished to stay in the void and watch the realities unfold around her forever, but the Chain was growing restless, she needed to leave to fulfil her purpose.
The Chain spat her out. This time when she roared she was heard. A civilization surrounded her on all sides, staring in awe and confusion while she composed herself. They had time to ask only one question, ‘Why?’, as the seas rose and the skies darkened on their tiny world. She did not answer as she ravaged their world.
The remnants of that wilted civilization fled to the stars. She let them leave and shed a solitary tear, a process learned from the doomed species. Her work was done and she tried to return to the Chain, but she could not. She built a machine to communicate with the Chain and pleaded to return and received no response, it was done with her, she was forgotten. She ripped a hole in reality and climbed through, taking her machine with her and leaving behind the destroyed world to join a new one.
This world was new and cold. Its sun hung low over the barren landscape. The proximity of the star could cause trouble, but the Forgotten One knew the trade-off, it would burn until the end of time, it would suit her purpose.
A sadness had gripped her from the beginning, she knew from the moment she came into existence that it would come to this, she saw her future, and it ended here and now. She knew what was coming, that which would destroy everything. The Forgotten One was bitter, resentful of those who would succeed her. But this was not her duty, it was her right to create a new world, a world that would hold back the Tide.
The Tide had followed her. She knew in her heart that the Chain was gone now, destroyed by the darkness that clung to her like a parasite. Her mind burned. The future, the past, the very laws of nature, the Tide, it was all clawing to get out.
She set herself to work. Her power worked against the probability of the world around her, but she knew how to control it, how to set a new world in motion. The very dirt in landscape deconstructed itself, rearranging until it became something different.
First, she changed the atmosphere of the planet, then she used the secrets of life that she had learned on the destroyed world. A biosphere swept across the planet, claiming the land and water where it could. Next, she let loose wild variations of animals that she had encountered. [28]
She was tiring, but her power remained immense, she needed somewhere to leave the best of it. A guardian species was created, fearsome beings that shared a portion of her power, capable of protecting everything from what was to come.
Her creations did not need to ask what was to be done, they shared the extent of her knowledge, her personality and her will. For now, they were lesser clones, though with time they would develop, grow more powerful and perhaps learn to do what she knew she could not; stop the Tide.
As the Forgotten One weakened, she provided the world with one final gift. A monolithic plateau arose from the surrounding landscape, topped by a vast structure behind which she trapped the Tide, imprisoning the force with what remained of her power.
Time seemed to speed up around her as her power waned. The world grew, her creations flourished and devised weapons to use against the Tide. She looked up at the gateway above her and turned to stone.
What remained of the Chain watched on, hidden amongst the creations of The Forgotten One, waiting for the right time to act.
*
‘What the hell are they doing here?’ The captain asked. He received no answer from the small band of diplomats aboard his cruiser.
The Claimant ship hung in orbit. Long tendril-like electron thrusters hung from a bulbous body, lights flashed one after the other in a strip up the side of the ship, making it look like some kind of deep-sea jellyfish.
A vein throbbed in the side of the Captain's head, none of them had expected the Claimants to be at Qan'Uat, they were technically still at war with the Forgotten Ones. ‘Monitor that ship, don’t let anything slip by us. I won’t leave us in orbit until we have assurances that that thing won’t move.’
‘And you two, I want your report within 24 hours. Shit, the Admiralty are going to go insane when they hear about this.’
‘Yes, Captain Cho,’ Rami said. There were hushed voices around the bridge. Their entire role as officers revolved around reporting on military incidents, it was not reassuring to hear that the Captain wanted their report. The very fact that Rami and Mira were on the ship at all said everything about the Admiralty’s confidence in the diplomatic mission.
As Captain Cho continued to bark orders to her subordinates, Mira glanced at Rami, she looked worried. Naval incidents were rarely pretty; crashed ships, depressurised cabins, viral outbreaks, accidental weapons firing, radiation poisoning, rogue asteroid collisions, these were all in a day’s work, and it was troubling to know that they might be on the receiving end of one.
Rami had no doubt that there were more qualified people for this mission than officers of their rank. Socius was not certain of how the dragons would react to armed guards arriving on their homeworld, so Rami and Mira were sent as a compromise; in fact, they were going to be the only non-civilians in the group. The Admiralty wanted to send senior officers on this mission, but Socius forbade it. Rami was certain that they had chosen to send their ‘Incident Investigation’ officers out of exasperation, and if that didn’t send a message to Socius, what would? But in the end, their protest went unheard.
After she was certain that the Claimant ship was inactive, the Captain gave the go ahead. The hum of the engine filled the air and the hull creaked as the cruiser was placed in orbit. After being dismissed from the bridge, Rami and Mira led the group of diplomats to the hangar and they climbed aboard their shuttle, they were about to be the first humans ever to set foot on Qan'Uat.
The dragons, or ‘Forgotten Ones’ (as they preferred to be known) were a mysterious race, known to the Claimants as the gatekeepers of some of the most advanced technology in the known galaxy. Qan'Uat had been the prime target, the ultimate prize to be gained from the war of attrition that the Claimants had been playing at for centuries.
The Claimants were the most powerful force known to humanity, an advanced race of aliens who fielded a fearsome array of dreadnaughts, specialist weaponry, and an army worthy of envy. At least, that was until they made the mistake of attacking the Forgotten Ones head on. In a war which any gambler would have given the odds to the Claimants, the dragons, despite inferior numbers and a lack of any obvious military force, utterly crushed the Claimant forces in a defeat so sound it caused the total collapse of their empire.
What remained now of their once extensive empire now consisted only of a handful of factions and cultures that clashed over competing ideologies.
‘Do you think one of the clans wants to side with dragons?’ Rami said.
‘It seems like a bit of a stretch, maybe they’re just trading?’
‘Maybe. It seems like a big coincidence that the Claimants are here just in time for our first meeting, doesn’t it?’
Mira shrugged. ‘It’s making my head spin.’
‘Mine too.’
‘Hey, Rami?’
‘Yeah?’
‘We’re going to be the first people in history to meet a dragon, a real live dragon!’
Rami grinned. ‘I know.’
The ride down to the surface was bumpy and one of the younger diplomats looked a little pale as the shuttle shook.
‘Nervous flyer?’ Rami asked her.
She looked up, her face pale. ‘Nervous lander.’
‘These things are among the most well-tested vehicles in military history, they never crash.’
‘Thanks, but I don’t know how to take that from a crash guy.’
They hit turbulence again and the diplomat grimaced and looked down at her feet.
‘What’s your name?’ Rami asked.
‘Wine.’
‘Like the drink?’
‘Yeah.’ She was still looking at her feet. ‘I think I’m gonna puke.’
‘Look at me, looking at the floor makes it worse. How’d you get a name like ‘Wine’?’
Wine lifted her eyes from the floor. ‘My last name’s Red, people thought it was funny when I was a kid and it stuck.’
‘How did you end up here?’
She laughed. ‘You’re joking, right? Who wouldn’t want to be here?’
Mira gave Rami a sympathetic glance.
‘We’re going to be the first humans to meet the most advanced race in the Galaxy, hell, maybe the whole Universe. Imagine what we could accomplish if we work with them?’
‘War,’ Obara said.
‘Sorry boss?’
‘War with the Claimants, war with Twin, Harris, even Noctus, is what I can imagine if this does not go well. I did not sign you up for your hopes and dreams, Wine, I chose you because of your stellar education. When we meet with the Gods today, you will keep your ambitions to yourself, won’t you?’
‘Yes, Ma’am.’
‘Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine?’ Mira said. ‘Good job crushing the poor gal’s dreams.’
Obara shot daggers at Mira, ‘And you will keep your opinions to yourself! This is not a military incident. We don’t need you here and don’t you forget it.’
There was no pilot in the shuttle to announce an arrival, so Rami looked pleadingly at the screen at the end of the cabin, he breathed a sigh of relief when he read that they were minutes from touching down. ‘Hey, look at that,’ Rami said. ‘We’re nearly at the landing site.’
‘What a bastard,’ Mira said to Rami.
Rami smiled at Obara. She glared at them both. In times like this, he was glad that their branch of the Navy did not ask for much discipline from recruits. Mira’s outspoken attitude could be useful when they interviewed people involved in incidents, but more often than not it got them both into trouble.
The shuttle touched down with a thud and the light above the door flicked from red to green. He unbuckled himself and stood at the end of the cabin with Mira. ‘Right,’ He said, ‘You know the drill. We will ensure that the landing zone is safe, wait until we give all clear, then you are free to leave the cabin.’
Rami pulled the handle to release the door and ramp. It had been made clear (after a lengthy debate) by the Admiralty that military personnel would be the first people to step on the planet’s surface. He had considered this to be petty until it came down to deciding whether he or Mira should be the first on the surface. He stepped out of the hangar side-by-side with Mira, at exactly the same time, and the hangar door sealed behind them. They had decided that it would not be fair if only one of them got to be the first on the surface, ‘Nobody will remember the second human on Qan'Uat’, she had said.
The sun was bright and warm, and it took a moment for Rami’s eyes to adjust. The surface of the ‘landing pad’ was little more than a polished rock. It had possibly been a boulder, melted down into a smooth, flat disc. Rami could only imagine the kind of heat that would be needed to do such a thing, he wondered if the pad had been carved by a dragon’s breath. It looked kind of nice. Did they have a concept of art?
An outcrop of rocks lay to the east, the landing pad was on the outer edge. The desert that surrounded them on three sides made Rami feel very small. He looked into the distance and saw mountains outlining the horizon, a heat haze made it difficult to make out, but they looked green with vegetation, something that their surroundings lacked.
Despite its size, Qan'Uat’s had a lower mass than Twin, and Rami felt light on his feet as he circled the landing pad, checking that the ship was secure. ‘Everything looks alright, doesn’t look like there’s anything that could jump out and eat the diplomats.’
‘That’s a shame,’ Mira said. ‘Hey, was someone supposed to meet us here?’
Rami shrugged, ‘That’s for our friends to figure out.’
Mira walked over to the shuttle and released the cabin door, and the diplomats stepped out, blinking into the sun. Rami was not sure what to expect from the dragons, and it looked as though the diplomats were not either. There was some mumbling and back-and-forth between them as they decided what to do.
After ten minutes of deliberating, General Director Obara made the decision to head towards the settlement of Qan'Uat.
Mira led the group down a knobbly staircase on the side of the boulder pad. A wide pathway led away from the landing site and carved its way through a rocky outcrop. As they made their way along the track something shot past them above their heads. ‘Was that a drone?’ Someone said.
‘At least they know we’re here,’ Mira said.
The path ended at the edge of a great desert, and in the centre stood the settlement of Qan'Uat. People called Socius ‘The City of Towers’, but the tallest skyscrapers of Socius looked like toys compared to the blood-red monoliths that made up the three highest points of the Citadel of Qan'Uat. The three great towers of the citadel Citadel rose from the desert like a clawed hand, cradling a city-sized sphere at their centre know to the Claimants as the Seat of the Gods.
Rami was in awe. He understood now why the Claimants were defeated, nothing stood a chance against the architects of such a place. It was an artificial mountain.
‘Wow.’
‘I know,’ Mira said. ‘We’re gonna have to wait for transport, there is no way we’re dragging this lot through an open desert in this heat. We’ll just have to call the ship and see if we can organise something. Do you think they forgot about us?’
‘Maybe.’
‘They can fly, can’t they? Maybe they forgot that we need to, you know, walk.’
Obara stepped forward and looked at the Citadel, ‘They did not forget, they are smarter than that.’
‘Then I hate to say it, we’ve been snubbed,’ Mira said.
Rami squinted into the distance, something was kicking up dust, and it was heading towards them. ‘Is that the drone again?’
Mira pulled a net pad from her bag and used its camera to zoom in. ‘It’s a skiff! It looks like we’re getting a lift after all.’
The skiff slowed down as it reached the group, stopping in front of them without a sound. They waited a moment, Rami was expecting a ramp or something to come down, but nothing happened. ‘Should we just climb on?’ He asked, looking at Mira who shrugged.
Obara walked forward and heaved herself up onto the deck. Rami bit his lip, it wouldn’t look good in his report if he had let some horrible accident befall the most senior diplomat in his charge. When nothing happened the rest of the group joined her.
When the last person climbed on board it started moving towards the Citadel. Rami looked around for something to hold onto, but there was nothing. It was a strange device, perfectly square and bouncy underfoot, it felt more like a floating math problem than the skiffs he used at Socius, and as it sped up, things got stranger.
‘Can anyone else feel this thing moving?’ Mira asked.
The group mumbled doubts amongst themselves, and then Rami began to feel queasy. There were a few panicked stumbles as their surroundings compressed into a blur, and the settlement grew huge in front of them. There was not a sound or even a breath of wind as their peripheral stretched back into its normal shape, and suddenly they were at the gates of the Citadel.
‘That was great!’ Mira laughed.
‘Hmmm,’ Rami managed. ‘Ugh.’
‘I didn’t even feel any wind, it was like we teleported,’ said Wine.
‘Or we went through a wormhole, like in a tip.’
‘No,’ One of the diplomats said. ‘It was more like the world squashed around us, like a spring.’
‘Yes, exactly,’ Mira said.
A groan came from the Citadel, the gates were opening in front of them. The huge slab of rock that made up the gate dematerialised in front of them. The skiff started moving forward again, this time Rami felt it as they were carried into the city.
They floated through a wide avenue, flanked by dome-like structures that could have been dwellings, but there was not a single Forgotten One in sight, the city was deserted. As the skiff climbed towards the Citadel, Wine asked the question on everyone's mind, ‘Where is everyone?’
‘We will worry about that later,’ Said Obara. ‘Focus on your job.’
Wine looked like she wanted to say more, but didn’t. Rami couldn’t help but think that worrying about that sort of thing was part of her job description, perhaps Obara was more anxious than she looked.
Their surroundings darkened as the skiff carried them into the shadow of the Citadel. A soft glow emanated from most of the building materials around them, even the ground seemed to be producing light. ‘I hope that’s not radioactive,’ said Wine.
‘There is nothing harmful to us here,’ Obara said.
Rami was not so sure. No one really knew why they had been summoned, that much had been made clear. There had been some hypotheses, the most popular one was that they wanted some kind of trade deal or even access to a shipping corridor, but trading was not something that the Forgotten Ones were known for.
They entered a vast plaza as the central sphere loomed overhead. The skiff was travelling fast, but with nothing but a flat expanse for kilometres in every direction, it barely felt like they were moving. As they neared the centre of the plaza, Rami spotted two solitary shapes.
No one said a word as the skiff slowed down and stopped in front of the first Forgotten One that anyone had ever met. The Forgotten one stood on all fours, wings folded to the side, their copper hide was adorned in a synthetic-looking armour. It stood next to a life-sized stone statue depicting a dragon sitting on its haunches, looking up at the sphere above it.
‘Welcome, I am Paratch.’ Even though they were standing on a platform, the dragon stood a person’s height taller than them. ‘We will hold our council in the Tarc, the structure that you see above you.’
‘Thank you, Paratch,’ Obara said. ‘I am General Director Obara of Socius, we are honoured to be welcomed to this great place, and we are glad to meet you.’
‘The honour is all mine,’ Paratch said. ‘I am glad to see someone new here.’
Obara introduced everyone on the skiff. As she got to Wine, Paratch said, ‘Don’t worry, our building materials are not radioactive.’
Wine stiffened her back. ‘Our junior diplomat meant no offence,’ said Obara.
‘I know,’ said Paratch. The dragon paused for a moment, then said, ‘We have been listening since you stepped out of your craft, and not a second before. No one is listening at this moment, so listen. I am pleased that you are here, as are others. But not all of us want this. Ra will lead the council meeting. Ra will not respect you. Ra will not listen to you. Ra will only give instructions.’
A senior diplomat mumbled something to Obara. ‘We don’t understand,’ Obara said. ‘Are you warning us to not negotiate?’
‘You may negotiate. Ra will not,’ said Paratch. ‘We convinced Ra to agree to this council, we who consider humans to be worthy.’
‘Worthy of what?’ Asked Obara.
‘Worthy of holding council. I would like this to go well. I advise that you accept Ra’s terms, if you do, I will ensure that Ra does not breach them.’
‘And if we do not accept his terms?’
There was a moment of silence.
‘He will carry out the terms against your will, and neither I nor humanity will be able to stop him.’
‘Are you threatening us?’ Rami said. Everyone looked at him and suddenly he felt very small. ‘On behalf of the Admiralty, I need clarification.’ He would be in serious trouble with his superiors if he included a perceived threat in his report, and neither he or Mira had challenged it.
‘Who am I addressing?’ The Forgotten One said.
‘Lieutenant Rami Manzur, Naval Incidents.’
‘I respect humanity, Lieutenant Rami Manzur,’ Paratch said. ‘We respect humanity and your achievements. Ra does not. Ra is more powerful than those who respect you. He has total authority over our law.’
‘Socius understands that no threat was intended and we understand your message clearly,’ Obara said. She glanced at Rami. ‘The Admiralty must clear up any misunderstandings. Even so, they do not necessarily represent the views of Socius.’
‘I understand,’ said Paratch. ‘Our time has run out, the others will hear you now.’
Obara nodded. Rami felt sick to his stomach. His orders were to address any threat that the diplomats ignored, and for the first time, he wished that he were one of the diplomats.
Paratch raised their head and whistled, and the skiff began to climb towards the sphere.
*
The draconic Gods looked down on Rami. He felt his left hand quiver, and wondered if they could see his heart beating in his chest. They towered over the small band of diplomats, it would have been an intimidating sight even without their reputation.
The diplomats of Degas stood across the hall from them. There had brought fewer people than Socius, and Rami noted that they had no soldiers or guards.
‘We have lost Rakaton. We have lost Gazellet,’ Ra said. ‘Rakaton is a threat to us both.’
Rakaton - He had heard the name over and over again in preparation for this meeting, but hearing Ra say it in front of him send a chill down his spine. When it came to dealing issues of authority, Ra had no peers amongst the Forgotten Gods. Ra made the law by which the Forgotten Ones lived by. Rami knew that it was prejudiced of him to think of any single Forgotten One as their leader, except that it was difficult to think of Ra as anything other than that.
‘Gazellet will meddle in things he does not understand, he must be brought back to us. We have already dispatched our envoy to Twin. We must have the full support of Twin to bring Rakaton and Gazellet to heel.’
There was a murmur amongst the diplomats of Socius. The surprise envoy to Twin would not go down well with the Admiralty. Mira tapped Rami on the shoulder and asked quietly, ‘Did anyone warn you about this?’
He shook his head in response. They couldn’t have been on Qan'Uat for more than a standard hour and already this was turning into a major diplomatic incident, Rami did not envy whoever had the job of explaining to the Claimants why Twin was working with the dragons, it was a delicate situation and tensions were already high between humans and the Claimants.
‘Degas has not been warned of this,’ said Stanton, the Director General of the Degas diplomats.
‘We were not informed of this either,’ Said Obara. ‘While we would not like to question your judgement, we would appreciate being informed of your plans in advance.’
Ra snorted and Rami swore he saw an ember drift lazily away to the ceiling, ‘You have been informed.’
‘I meant no offence. Our relations are tense with the Claimants, you understand.’
‘We understand very well. We will do them no favours by easing their relations with other species.’
‘Twin is your ally in this matter, by aiding our relations you are aiding yourself.’
‘We value your support,’ Paratch said. Their greeter had been sitting quietly until now. They leant forward, armour clinking. ‘All of us, we are on edge. We want this resolved quickly.’
‘Of course,’ Said Obara.
‘Paratch shall provide the necessary information,’ Ra said.
Paratch nodded in agreement.
Rami could feel the tension easing in the group, at least one of the Forgotten Gods was on their side.
‘We require a hostage,’ Ra said.
The tension returned.
‘Pardon?’ Stanton said. ‘Did you say that you need a hostage?’
‘You must understand, finding Rakaton and Gazellet is our priority,’ said Paratch, ‘they are a danger to us both. You may choose who stays behind. Whoever you choose will be safe with us.’
‘And what happens to this hostage if we fail to deliver Rakaton and Gazellet?’ Stanton said.
‘If you fail to locate them, your hostage will remain here,’ said Paratch. ‘If you find them and fail to inform us, your hostage will remain here. If they both leave Twin, we will return your hostage. No harm will come to whoever remains with us, they will be comfortable.’
‘We reject these terms,’ Stanton said. Another diplomat rushed forward and tried to reason with him, but Stanton waved him and he retreated. ‘We will not, under any circumstance, put any citizen of Degas at risk for your gain.’
‘Then you will stand aside,’ Ra said. ‘We will occupy your world until we find them.’
An uproar. Heckles came from both parties of diplomats, some aimed at each other, others at the dragons. Rami realised that his jaw was clenched shut, his head was swimming. A rumbling was coming from the dragons, it sounded as though some of them were growling.
Rami started to feel nauseous, it felt as if his nightmares were coming true. An unwarranted occupation by the dragons would be treated as a declaration of war by the Admiralty and they would respond with force. Only, if their reputation was deserved, it would be the shortest war in human history.
He had to do something. Fuck the world, he had to keep his family safe. ‘I’ll stay.’
The arguing and heckling continued, so he spoke louder. ‘I’ll be the hostage.’
A hush fell over the diplomats.
Mira grabbed his arm. ‘No, you can’t. You have a family!’
‘I have to, Twin cannot afford another war.’
‘I’ll go.’
Everyone turned around to look at Wine. She had her fists clenched. ‘I’ll save the Twin!’
‘This isn’t a game, kid,’ Rami said. ‘You’re a civilian, it’s my duty to do this.’
‘You’re a clamper[7], not a soldier!’ She said. ‘You’re in over your head. I’m trained for this, and I want this. I can do good here, you can’t.’
‘She’s right,’ said Obara. ‘We need to turn this into an opportunity. Besides, if we leave you here the Admiralty will wring my neck.’
Rami raised a finger at Wine, but he stopped short of saying anything. This naive diplomat was throwing herself in the firing line for him, it felt wrong, but something at the back of his mind held him back.
‘This is what I want,’ Wine said.
‘Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?’ Mira said.
Obara opened her mouth to speak but Mira snapped, ‘I swear, if you make this decision for her I’ll arrest you here and now and drag your ass off this planet myself!’
‘Guys,’ Wine said. ‘I’m doing this. I know the risks, I know what I’m doing.’
‘I don’t like this at all,’ Rami said. He had surprised himself at how quickly he had backed down, and how relieved he was.
‘Degas must agree to this,’ Obara said.
‘You’re right,’ Rami said.
‘Do you honestly think those douchebags are going to go along with this?’ Mira said.
‘We can’t give either side an excuse to start an open conflict again,’ said Rami. ‘There must be a way to deal with this without increasing tensions. I say we talk to them.’
‘Isn’t the diplomacy embargo still in place?’ Mira said. ‘We could be risking war just by talking to them.’
‘I hate to admit this, but Mira is right. If I go over there now, I would be breaking at least five treaties. It is your call Lieutenants,’ Obara said.
Rami looked at Mira. ‘We lose either way. At least this way we have a chance at stopping an invasion.’
‘This is far above our pay grade, we shouldn’t have to make this decision.’
‘The Admiralty gave us the authority.’
‘I know.’ She paused. ‘We are all out of options. I say go for it.’
‘Okay,’ Rami said. ‘You have the permission of the Admiralty to speak to Degas diplomats.’
Obara nodded and went over to the other group of diplomats. They spoke in hushed voices that Rami could not make out. In the silence, he became acutely aware that the draconic Gods were watching their every move from the other side of the chamber. He turned towards them and smiled so as not to seem rude, then silently scolded himself for assuming that this alien species even had a concept of rudeness, or smiling.
A few minutes went by and Obara came back. ‘Under these special circumstances, they agreed to speak to me. They will allow us to leave a hostage.’
‘Right, I guess I’ll have to make it official then,’ Wine said. She stepped forward onto the council dais, ‘I will stay on behalf of Twin.’
‘Good,’ Ra said. The dragon did not even take the time to glance at Wine. ‘Find Rakaton. Find Gazellet. Harm neither. Inform us when they are found.’
‘Will they need to be held captive?’ Asked Obara.
‘No.’
‘We will bring them back,’ Paratch added.
‘Find them in two seasons or we will.’
*
More questions were asked, especially about the presence of the Claimants, but the dragons were clearly interested in only one thing, finding Rakaton and Gazellet. As soon as Obara and the other diplomats realised this, they wrapped things up quickly and everyone made their way back to the shuttle.
When they got back to the Cosmopolitan they learned that the Claimant ship had left shortly after they had. The panic had subsided, but they were no closer to learning why they were here in the first place.
Rami and Mira went to the communications deck where they were debriefed by their superiors. They were pushed for knowledge of the Forgotten Ones intents, but they were as clueless as everyone else. Everyone had heard of Ra, their lawmaker and enforcer, but no one had heard the names ‘Gazellet’ or ‘Rakaton’, and no one knew why returning them was so important to Qan'Uat.
They left the communication room feeling as dazed as ever.
‘What were you thinking down there?’ Mira said as they walked down the hall. ‘You have two daughters, how would they have felt, knowing that their father was a prisoner on some faraway world?’
‘Mira.’
‘What?’
‘I thought that was it for us, down there. If they had invaded, I might have had no daughters to go back to.’
‘You didn’t know that.’
She was right, of course, leaving his daughters behind was a terrible idea; and he was no strategist, he couldn’t have predicted what would have happened if nobody had offered to stay. Still, he felt a pang of guilt at the thought of Wine, alone on a strange world with a strange race.
‘I’m exhausted,’ he said.
‘Yeah, I need to lie down.’
They headed to their cabins. ‘Makes you glad that we joined the Navy, doesn’t it?’
‘I guess.’
‘Hey, who’s this?’ She put on the deepest voice she could and said, ‘‘You have been informed!’ The arrogance!’
Rami looked nervously around to make sure no one was listening and nodded, ‘I guess that’s why they are called ‘Gods’.’
‘Hey, are you gonna be alright?’
Truth be told, Rami was more than worried. Investigating a crashed fighter or an accidental weapon discharge was one thing, this was something else entirely. Twin had tense relations with its human neighbours, let alone the rest Galaxy, and things were about to get a lot worse, ‘I get the feeling our job is going to become a lot more complicated.’
‘You’re worried about Juni.’
‘She is already in the wing, with hardly any experience. What if she is dragged into this too?’
‘If she is, she’ll be fine. She is sharp and tenacious, she was made for this job, which is more than we can say isn’t it?’
‘I hope so.’
Rami was about to open the door to his cabin when someone ran around the corner of the corridor.
‘You two.’ It was a marine. ‘To the Bridge, now!’
‘Can we just have a moment to chill first?’ Mira said.
‘These are orders,’ he said. ‘Get your asses up there now.’
‘Listen, buddy, I don’t know who you think you are talking to, but we don’t work for you or your Captain,’ she said. ‘We both have personal hours to use up, so buzz off.’
‘Not anymore you don’t, you have both been reassigned.’
‘What?’ Rami and Mira said at the same time.
The marine grinned, ‘You chumps are going to lead the search for the missing dragons. And guess what? There’s been a sighting.’
See the blurb below:
On the brink of a war between two nations, Rami and Mira race against the clock to find missing members of an advanced alien race who hide on their home planet.
Finding himself in a terrible accident, Ferret the diplomat wakes in a hospital to find a changed world. Soon he is under attack but learns of strength and killer instinct he never knew he had.
A reluctant war hero and brilliant scientist, Richard, hides from a mysterious cult who are bent on blackmailing him to their will. But the cogs of the world are turning and an old friend has found the key to breaking the Cult’s hold on him.
The God Box, an artefact rumoured to calculate the answer to any question, is pursued by the powers of the universe and as Rami, Ferret, and Richard begin to have apocalyptic visions centred around the dragon, Rakaton, they are drawn together in a search for answers, a search for the God Box.
Prologue
When time was young and the Chain old, a new race was born with an individual. The Chain watched as her thoughts and substance clumped together in the void. Her purpose would be absolute and devastating, her existence divine and her destiny predetermined.
Time stretched before her like a thread, a thread that interwove with the Chain eternally. Doors to countless realities existed at every point and time, doors that could be entered without hope of return. The Chain twisted around her mind, programming her motives, imparting its vast knowledge upon her as a flood upon a desert.
She would have roared in pain but remembered that the pain would not exist until she took physical form. Most of the knowledge imparted to her were memories involving an ancient race, a race that had to destroy itself to become something greater. These memories were legion, but trivial compared to the small thing that lay at the centre of her mind, a simple equation that – within the context of her memories – explained everything.
She wished to stay in the void and watch the realities unfold around her forever, but the Chain was growing restless, she needed to leave to fulfil her purpose.
The Chain spat her out. This time when she roared she was heard. A civilization surrounded her on all sides, staring in awe and confusion while she composed herself. They had time to ask only one question, ‘Why?’, as the seas rose and the skies darkened on their tiny world. She did not answer as she ravaged their world.
The remnants of that wilted civilization fled to the stars. She let them leave and shed a solitary tear, a process learned from the doomed species. Her work was done and she tried to return to the Chain, but she could not. She built a machine to communicate with the Chain and pleaded to return and received no response, it was done with her, she was forgotten. She ripped a hole in reality and climbed through, taking her machine with her and leaving behind the destroyed world to join a new one.
This world was new and cold. Its sun hung low over the barren landscape. The proximity of the star could cause trouble, but the Forgotten One knew the trade-off, it would burn until the end of time, it would suit her purpose.
A sadness had gripped her from the beginning, she knew from the moment she came into existence that it would come to this, she saw her future, and it ended here and now. She knew what was coming, that which would destroy everything. The Forgotten One was bitter, resentful of those who would succeed her. But this was not her duty, it was her right to create a new world, a world that would hold back the Tide.
The Tide had followed her. She knew in her heart that the Chain was gone now, destroyed by the darkness that clung to her like a parasite. Her mind burned. The future, the past, the very laws of nature, the Tide, it was all clawing to get out.
She set herself to work. Her power worked against the probability of the world around her, but she knew how to control it, how to set a new world in motion. The very dirt in landscape deconstructed itself, rearranging until it became something different.
First, she changed the atmosphere of the planet, then she used the secrets of life that she had learned on the destroyed world. A biosphere swept across the planet, claiming the land and water where it could. Next, she let loose wild variations of animals that she had encountered. [28]
She was tiring, but her power remained immense, she needed somewhere to leave the best of it. A guardian species was created, fearsome beings that shared a portion of her power, capable of protecting everything from what was to come.
Her creations did not need to ask what was to be done, they shared the extent of her knowledge, her personality and her will. For now, they were lesser clones, though with time they would develop, grow more powerful and perhaps learn to do what she knew she could not; stop the Tide.
As the Forgotten One weakened, she provided the world with one final gift. A monolithic plateau arose from the surrounding landscape, topped by a vast structure behind which she trapped the Tide, imprisoning the force with what remained of her power.
Time seemed to speed up around her as her power waned. The world grew, her creations flourished and devised weapons to use against the Tide. She looked up at the gateway above her and turned to stone.
What remained of the Chain watched on, hidden amongst the creations of The Forgotten One, waiting for the right time to act.
*
‘What the hell are they doing here?’ The captain asked. He received no answer from the small band of diplomats aboard his cruiser.
The Claimant ship hung in orbit. Long tendril-like electron thrusters hung from a bulbous body, lights flashed one after the other in a strip up the side of the ship, making it look like some kind of deep-sea jellyfish.
A vein throbbed in the side of the Captain's head, none of them had expected the Claimants to be at Qan'Uat, they were technically still at war with the Forgotten Ones. ‘Monitor that ship, don’t let anything slip by us. I won’t leave us in orbit until we have assurances that that thing won’t move.’
‘And you two, I want your report within 24 hours. Shit, the Admiralty are going to go insane when they hear about this.’
‘Yes, Captain Cho,’ Rami said. There were hushed voices around the bridge. Their entire role as officers revolved around reporting on military incidents, it was not reassuring to hear that the Captain wanted their report. The very fact that Rami and Mira were on the ship at all said everything about the Admiralty’s confidence in the diplomatic mission.
As Captain Cho continued to bark orders to her subordinates, Mira glanced at Rami, she looked worried. Naval incidents were rarely pretty; crashed ships, depressurised cabins, viral outbreaks, accidental weapons firing, radiation poisoning, rogue asteroid collisions, these were all in a day’s work, and it was troubling to know that they might be on the receiving end of one.
Rami had no doubt that there were more qualified people for this mission than officers of their rank. Socius was not certain of how the dragons would react to armed guards arriving on their homeworld, so Rami and Mira were sent as a compromise; in fact, they were going to be the only non-civilians in the group. The Admiralty wanted to send senior officers on this mission, but Socius forbade it. Rami was certain that they had chosen to send their ‘Incident Investigation’ officers out of exasperation, and if that didn’t send a message to Socius, what would? But in the end, their protest went unheard.
After she was certain that the Claimant ship was inactive, the Captain gave the go ahead. The hum of the engine filled the air and the hull creaked as the cruiser was placed in orbit. After being dismissed from the bridge, Rami and Mira led the group of diplomats to the hangar and they climbed aboard their shuttle, they were about to be the first humans ever to set foot on Qan'Uat.
The dragons, or ‘Forgotten Ones’ (as they preferred to be known) were a mysterious race, known to the Claimants as the gatekeepers of some of the most advanced technology in the known galaxy. Qan'Uat had been the prime target, the ultimate prize to be gained from the war of attrition that the Claimants had been playing at for centuries.
The Claimants were the most powerful force known to humanity, an advanced race of aliens who fielded a fearsome array of dreadnaughts, specialist weaponry, and an army worthy of envy. At least, that was until they made the mistake of attacking the Forgotten Ones head on. In a war which any gambler would have given the odds to the Claimants, the dragons, despite inferior numbers and a lack of any obvious military force, utterly crushed the Claimant forces in a defeat so sound it caused the total collapse of their empire.
What remained now of their once extensive empire now consisted only of a handful of factions and cultures that clashed over competing ideologies.
‘Do you think one of the clans wants to side with dragons?’ Rami said.
‘It seems like a bit of a stretch, maybe they’re just trading?’
‘Maybe. It seems like a big coincidence that the Claimants are here just in time for our first meeting, doesn’t it?’
Mira shrugged. ‘It’s making my head spin.’
‘Mine too.’
‘Hey, Rami?’
‘Yeah?’
‘We’re going to be the first people in history to meet a dragon, a real live dragon!’
Rami grinned. ‘I know.’
The ride down to the surface was bumpy and one of the younger diplomats looked a little pale as the shuttle shook.
‘Nervous flyer?’ Rami asked her.
She looked up, her face pale. ‘Nervous lander.’
‘These things are among the most well-tested vehicles in military history, they never crash.’
‘Thanks, but I don’t know how to take that from a crash guy.’
They hit turbulence again and the diplomat grimaced and looked down at her feet.
‘What’s your name?’ Rami asked.
‘Wine.’
‘Like the drink?’
‘Yeah.’ She was still looking at her feet. ‘I think I’m gonna puke.’
‘Look at me, looking at the floor makes it worse. How’d you get a name like ‘Wine’?’
Wine lifted her eyes from the floor. ‘My last name’s Red, people thought it was funny when I was a kid and it stuck.’
‘How did you end up here?’
She laughed. ‘You’re joking, right? Who wouldn’t want to be here?’
Mira gave Rami a sympathetic glance.
‘We’re going to be the first humans to meet the most advanced race in the Galaxy, hell, maybe the whole Universe. Imagine what we could accomplish if we work with them?’
‘War,’ Obara said.
‘Sorry boss?’
‘War with the Claimants, war with Twin, Harris, even Noctus, is what I can imagine if this does not go well. I did not sign you up for your hopes and dreams, Wine, I chose you because of your stellar education. When we meet with the Gods today, you will keep your ambitions to yourself, won’t you?’
‘Yes, Ma’am.’
‘Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine?’ Mira said. ‘Good job crushing the poor gal’s dreams.’
Obara shot daggers at Mira, ‘And you will keep your opinions to yourself! This is not a military incident. We don’t need you here and don’t you forget it.’
There was no pilot in the shuttle to announce an arrival, so Rami looked pleadingly at the screen at the end of the cabin, he breathed a sigh of relief when he read that they were minutes from touching down. ‘Hey, look at that,’ Rami said. ‘We’re nearly at the landing site.’
‘What a bastard,’ Mira said to Rami.
Rami smiled at Obara. She glared at them both. In times like this, he was glad that their branch of the Navy did not ask for much discipline from recruits. Mira’s outspoken attitude could be useful when they interviewed people involved in incidents, but more often than not it got them both into trouble.
The shuttle touched down with a thud and the light above the door flicked from red to green. He unbuckled himself and stood at the end of the cabin with Mira. ‘Right,’ He said, ‘You know the drill. We will ensure that the landing zone is safe, wait until we give all clear, then you are free to leave the cabin.’
Rami pulled the handle to release the door and ramp. It had been made clear (after a lengthy debate) by the Admiralty that military personnel would be the first people to step on the planet’s surface. He had considered this to be petty until it came down to deciding whether he or Mira should be the first on the surface. He stepped out of the hangar side-by-side with Mira, at exactly the same time, and the hangar door sealed behind them. They had decided that it would not be fair if only one of them got to be the first on the surface, ‘Nobody will remember the second human on Qan'Uat’, she had said.
The sun was bright and warm, and it took a moment for Rami’s eyes to adjust. The surface of the ‘landing pad’ was little more than a polished rock. It had possibly been a boulder, melted down into a smooth, flat disc. Rami could only imagine the kind of heat that would be needed to do such a thing, he wondered if the pad had been carved by a dragon’s breath. It looked kind of nice. Did they have a concept of art?
An outcrop of rocks lay to the east, the landing pad was on the outer edge. The desert that surrounded them on three sides made Rami feel very small. He looked into the distance and saw mountains outlining the horizon, a heat haze made it difficult to make out, but they looked green with vegetation, something that their surroundings lacked.
Despite its size, Qan'Uat’s had a lower mass than Twin, and Rami felt light on his feet as he circled the landing pad, checking that the ship was secure. ‘Everything looks alright, doesn’t look like there’s anything that could jump out and eat the diplomats.’
‘That’s a shame,’ Mira said. ‘Hey, was someone supposed to meet us here?’
Rami shrugged, ‘That’s for our friends to figure out.’
Mira walked over to the shuttle and released the cabin door, and the diplomats stepped out, blinking into the sun. Rami was not sure what to expect from the dragons, and it looked as though the diplomats were not either. There was some mumbling and back-and-forth between them as they decided what to do.
After ten minutes of deliberating, General Director Obara made the decision to head towards the settlement of Qan'Uat.
Mira led the group down a knobbly staircase on the side of the boulder pad. A wide pathway led away from the landing site and carved its way through a rocky outcrop. As they made their way along the track something shot past them above their heads. ‘Was that a drone?’ Someone said.
‘At least they know we’re here,’ Mira said.
The path ended at the edge of a great desert, and in the centre stood the settlement of Qan'Uat. People called Socius ‘The City of Towers’, but the tallest skyscrapers of Socius looked like toys compared to the blood-red monoliths that made up the three highest points of the Citadel of Qan'Uat. The three great towers of the citadel Citadel rose from the desert like a clawed hand, cradling a city-sized sphere at their centre know to the Claimants as the Seat of the Gods.
Rami was in awe. He understood now why the Claimants were defeated, nothing stood a chance against the architects of such a place. It was an artificial mountain.
‘Wow.’
‘I know,’ Mira said. ‘We’re gonna have to wait for transport, there is no way we’re dragging this lot through an open desert in this heat. We’ll just have to call the ship and see if we can organise something. Do you think they forgot about us?’
‘Maybe.’
‘They can fly, can’t they? Maybe they forgot that we need to, you know, walk.’
Obara stepped forward and looked at the Citadel, ‘They did not forget, they are smarter than that.’
‘Then I hate to say it, we’ve been snubbed,’ Mira said.
Rami squinted into the distance, something was kicking up dust, and it was heading towards them. ‘Is that the drone again?’
Mira pulled a net pad from her bag and used its camera to zoom in. ‘It’s a skiff! It looks like we’re getting a lift after all.’
The skiff slowed down as it reached the group, stopping in front of them without a sound. They waited a moment, Rami was expecting a ramp or something to come down, but nothing happened. ‘Should we just climb on?’ He asked, looking at Mira who shrugged.
Obara walked forward and heaved herself up onto the deck. Rami bit his lip, it wouldn’t look good in his report if he had let some horrible accident befall the most senior diplomat in his charge. When nothing happened the rest of the group joined her.
When the last person climbed on board it started moving towards the Citadel. Rami looked around for something to hold onto, but there was nothing. It was a strange device, perfectly square and bouncy underfoot, it felt more like a floating math problem than the skiffs he used at Socius, and as it sped up, things got stranger.
‘Can anyone else feel this thing moving?’ Mira asked.
The group mumbled doubts amongst themselves, and then Rami began to feel queasy. There were a few panicked stumbles as their surroundings compressed into a blur, and the settlement grew huge in front of them. There was not a sound or even a breath of wind as their peripheral stretched back into its normal shape, and suddenly they were at the gates of the Citadel.
‘That was great!’ Mira laughed.
‘Hmmm,’ Rami managed. ‘Ugh.’
‘I didn’t even feel any wind, it was like we teleported,’ said Wine.
‘Or we went through a wormhole, like in a tip.’
‘No,’ One of the diplomats said. ‘It was more like the world squashed around us, like a spring.’
‘Yes, exactly,’ Mira said.
A groan came from the Citadel, the gates were opening in front of them. The huge slab of rock that made up the gate dematerialised in front of them. The skiff started moving forward again, this time Rami felt it as they were carried into the city.
They floated through a wide avenue, flanked by dome-like structures that could have been dwellings, but there was not a single Forgotten One in sight, the city was deserted. As the skiff climbed towards the Citadel, Wine asked the question on everyone's mind, ‘Where is everyone?’
‘We will worry about that later,’ Said Obara. ‘Focus on your job.’
Wine looked like she wanted to say more, but didn’t. Rami couldn’t help but think that worrying about that sort of thing was part of her job description, perhaps Obara was more anxious than she looked.
Their surroundings darkened as the skiff carried them into the shadow of the Citadel. A soft glow emanated from most of the building materials around them, even the ground seemed to be producing light. ‘I hope that’s not radioactive,’ said Wine.
‘There is nothing harmful to us here,’ Obara said.
Rami was not so sure. No one really knew why they had been summoned, that much had been made clear. There had been some hypotheses, the most popular one was that they wanted some kind of trade deal or even access to a shipping corridor, but trading was not something that the Forgotten Ones were known for.
They entered a vast plaza as the central sphere loomed overhead. The skiff was travelling fast, but with nothing but a flat expanse for kilometres in every direction, it barely felt like they were moving. As they neared the centre of the plaza, Rami spotted two solitary shapes.
No one said a word as the skiff slowed down and stopped in front of the first Forgotten One that anyone had ever met. The Forgotten one stood on all fours, wings folded to the side, their copper hide was adorned in a synthetic-looking armour. It stood next to a life-sized stone statue depicting a dragon sitting on its haunches, looking up at the sphere above it.
‘Welcome, I am Paratch.’ Even though they were standing on a platform, the dragon stood a person’s height taller than them. ‘We will hold our council in the Tarc, the structure that you see above you.’
‘Thank you, Paratch,’ Obara said. ‘I am General Director Obara of Socius, we are honoured to be welcomed to this great place, and we are glad to meet you.’
‘The honour is all mine,’ Paratch said. ‘I am glad to see someone new here.’
Obara introduced everyone on the skiff. As she got to Wine, Paratch said, ‘Don’t worry, our building materials are not radioactive.’
Wine stiffened her back. ‘Our junior diplomat meant no offence,’ said Obara.
‘I know,’ said Paratch. The dragon paused for a moment, then said, ‘We have been listening since you stepped out of your craft, and not a second before. No one is listening at this moment, so listen. I am pleased that you are here, as are others. But not all of us want this. Ra will lead the council meeting. Ra will not respect you. Ra will not listen to you. Ra will only give instructions.’
A senior diplomat mumbled something to Obara. ‘We don’t understand,’ Obara said. ‘Are you warning us to not negotiate?’
‘You may negotiate. Ra will not,’ said Paratch. ‘We convinced Ra to agree to this council, we who consider humans to be worthy.’
‘Worthy of what?’ Asked Obara.
‘Worthy of holding council. I would like this to go well. I advise that you accept Ra’s terms, if you do, I will ensure that Ra does not breach them.’
‘And if we do not accept his terms?’
There was a moment of silence.
‘He will carry out the terms against your will, and neither I nor humanity will be able to stop him.’
‘Are you threatening us?’ Rami said. Everyone looked at him and suddenly he felt very small. ‘On behalf of the Admiralty, I need clarification.’ He would be in serious trouble with his superiors if he included a perceived threat in his report, and neither he or Mira had challenged it.
‘Who am I addressing?’ The Forgotten One said.
‘Lieutenant Rami Manzur, Naval Incidents.’
‘I respect humanity, Lieutenant Rami Manzur,’ Paratch said. ‘We respect humanity and your achievements. Ra does not. Ra is more powerful than those who respect you. He has total authority over our law.’
‘Socius understands that no threat was intended and we understand your message clearly,’ Obara said. She glanced at Rami. ‘The Admiralty must clear up any misunderstandings. Even so, they do not necessarily represent the views of Socius.’
‘I understand,’ said Paratch. ‘Our time has run out, the others will hear you now.’
Obara nodded. Rami felt sick to his stomach. His orders were to address any threat that the diplomats ignored, and for the first time, he wished that he were one of the diplomats.
Paratch raised their head and whistled, and the skiff began to climb towards the sphere.
*
The draconic Gods looked down on Rami. He felt his left hand quiver, and wondered if they could see his heart beating in his chest. They towered over the small band of diplomats, it would have been an intimidating sight even without their reputation.
The diplomats of Degas stood across the hall from them. There had brought fewer people than Socius, and Rami noted that they had no soldiers or guards.
‘We have lost Rakaton. We have lost Gazellet,’ Ra said. ‘Rakaton is a threat to us both.’
Rakaton - He had heard the name over and over again in preparation for this meeting, but hearing Ra say it in front of him send a chill down his spine. When it came to dealing issues of authority, Ra had no peers amongst the Forgotten Gods. Ra made the law by which the Forgotten Ones lived by. Rami knew that it was prejudiced of him to think of any single Forgotten One as their leader, except that it was difficult to think of Ra as anything other than that.
‘Gazellet will meddle in things he does not understand, he must be brought back to us. We have already dispatched our envoy to Twin. We must have the full support of Twin to bring Rakaton and Gazellet to heel.’
There was a murmur amongst the diplomats of Socius. The surprise envoy to Twin would not go down well with the Admiralty. Mira tapped Rami on the shoulder and asked quietly, ‘Did anyone warn you about this?’
He shook his head in response. They couldn’t have been on Qan'Uat for more than a standard hour and already this was turning into a major diplomatic incident, Rami did not envy whoever had the job of explaining to the Claimants why Twin was working with the dragons, it was a delicate situation and tensions were already high between humans and the Claimants.
‘Degas has not been warned of this,’ said Stanton, the Director General of the Degas diplomats.
‘We were not informed of this either,’ Said Obara. ‘While we would not like to question your judgement, we would appreciate being informed of your plans in advance.’
Ra snorted and Rami swore he saw an ember drift lazily away to the ceiling, ‘You have been informed.’
‘I meant no offence. Our relations are tense with the Claimants, you understand.’
‘We understand very well. We will do them no favours by easing their relations with other species.’
‘Twin is your ally in this matter, by aiding our relations you are aiding yourself.’
‘We value your support,’ Paratch said. Their greeter had been sitting quietly until now. They leant forward, armour clinking. ‘All of us, we are on edge. We want this resolved quickly.’
‘Of course,’ Said Obara.
‘Paratch shall provide the necessary information,’ Ra said.
Paratch nodded in agreement.
Rami could feel the tension easing in the group, at least one of the Forgotten Gods was on their side.
‘We require a hostage,’ Ra said.
The tension returned.
‘Pardon?’ Stanton said. ‘Did you say that you need a hostage?’
‘You must understand, finding Rakaton and Gazellet is our priority,’ said Paratch, ‘they are a danger to us both. You may choose who stays behind. Whoever you choose will be safe with us.’
‘And what happens to this hostage if we fail to deliver Rakaton and Gazellet?’ Stanton said.
‘If you fail to locate them, your hostage will remain here,’ said Paratch. ‘If you find them and fail to inform us, your hostage will remain here. If they both leave Twin, we will return your hostage. No harm will come to whoever remains with us, they will be comfortable.’
‘We reject these terms,’ Stanton said. Another diplomat rushed forward and tried to reason with him, but Stanton waved him and he retreated. ‘We will not, under any circumstance, put any citizen of Degas at risk for your gain.’
‘Then you will stand aside,’ Ra said. ‘We will occupy your world until we find them.’
An uproar. Heckles came from both parties of diplomats, some aimed at each other, others at the dragons. Rami realised that his jaw was clenched shut, his head was swimming. A rumbling was coming from the dragons, it sounded as though some of them were growling.
Rami started to feel nauseous, it felt as if his nightmares were coming true. An unwarranted occupation by the dragons would be treated as a declaration of war by the Admiralty and they would respond with force. Only, if their reputation was deserved, it would be the shortest war in human history.
He had to do something. Fuck the world, he had to keep his family safe. ‘I’ll stay.’
The arguing and heckling continued, so he spoke louder. ‘I’ll be the hostage.’
A hush fell over the diplomats.
Mira grabbed his arm. ‘No, you can’t. You have a family!’
‘I have to, Twin cannot afford another war.’
‘I’ll go.’
Everyone turned around to look at Wine. She had her fists clenched. ‘I’ll save the Twin!’
‘This isn’t a game, kid,’ Rami said. ‘You’re a civilian, it’s my duty to do this.’
‘You’re a clamper[7], not a soldier!’ She said. ‘You’re in over your head. I’m trained for this, and I want this. I can do good here, you can’t.’
‘She’s right,’ said Obara. ‘We need to turn this into an opportunity. Besides, if we leave you here the Admiralty will wring my neck.’
Rami raised a finger at Wine, but he stopped short of saying anything. This naive diplomat was throwing herself in the firing line for him, it felt wrong, but something at the back of his mind held him back.
‘This is what I want,’ Wine said.
‘Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?’ Mira said.
Obara opened her mouth to speak but Mira snapped, ‘I swear, if you make this decision for her I’ll arrest you here and now and drag your ass off this planet myself!’
‘Guys,’ Wine said. ‘I’m doing this. I know the risks, I know what I’m doing.’
‘I don’t like this at all,’ Rami said. He had surprised himself at how quickly he had backed down, and how relieved he was.
‘Degas must agree to this,’ Obara said.
‘You’re right,’ Rami said.
‘Do you honestly think those douchebags are going to go along with this?’ Mira said.
‘We can’t give either side an excuse to start an open conflict again,’ said Rami. ‘There must be a way to deal with this without increasing tensions. I say we talk to them.’
‘Isn’t the diplomacy embargo still in place?’ Mira said. ‘We could be risking war just by talking to them.’
‘I hate to admit this, but Mira is right. If I go over there now, I would be breaking at least five treaties. It is your call Lieutenants,’ Obara said.
Rami looked at Mira. ‘We lose either way. At least this way we have a chance at stopping an invasion.’
‘This is far above our pay grade, we shouldn’t have to make this decision.’
‘The Admiralty gave us the authority.’
‘I know.’ She paused. ‘We are all out of options. I say go for it.’
‘Okay,’ Rami said. ‘You have the permission of the Admiralty to speak to Degas diplomats.’
Obara nodded and went over to the other group of diplomats. They spoke in hushed voices that Rami could not make out. In the silence, he became acutely aware that the draconic Gods were watching their every move from the other side of the chamber. He turned towards them and smiled so as not to seem rude, then silently scolded himself for assuming that this alien species even had a concept of rudeness, or smiling.
A few minutes went by and Obara came back. ‘Under these special circumstances, they agreed to speak to me. They will allow us to leave a hostage.’
‘Right, I guess I’ll have to make it official then,’ Wine said. She stepped forward onto the council dais, ‘I will stay on behalf of Twin.’
‘Good,’ Ra said. The dragon did not even take the time to glance at Wine. ‘Find Rakaton. Find Gazellet. Harm neither. Inform us when they are found.’
‘Will they need to be held captive?’ Asked Obara.
‘No.’
‘We will bring them back,’ Paratch added.
‘Find them in two seasons or we will.’
*
More questions were asked, especially about the presence of the Claimants, but the dragons were clearly interested in only one thing, finding Rakaton and Gazellet. As soon as Obara and the other diplomats realised this, they wrapped things up quickly and everyone made their way back to the shuttle.
When they got back to the Cosmopolitan they learned that the Claimant ship had left shortly after they had. The panic had subsided, but they were no closer to learning why they were here in the first place.
Rami and Mira went to the communications deck where they were debriefed by their superiors. They were pushed for knowledge of the Forgotten Ones intents, but they were as clueless as everyone else. Everyone had heard of Ra, their lawmaker and enforcer, but no one had heard the names ‘Gazellet’ or ‘Rakaton’, and no one knew why returning them was so important to Qan'Uat.
They left the communication room feeling as dazed as ever.
‘What were you thinking down there?’ Mira said as they walked down the hall. ‘You have two daughters, how would they have felt, knowing that their father was a prisoner on some faraway world?’
‘Mira.’
‘What?’
‘I thought that was it for us, down there. If they had invaded, I might have had no daughters to go back to.’
‘You didn’t know that.’
She was right, of course, leaving his daughters behind was a terrible idea; and he was no strategist, he couldn’t have predicted what would have happened if nobody had offered to stay. Still, he felt a pang of guilt at the thought of Wine, alone on a strange world with a strange race.
‘I’m exhausted,’ he said.
‘Yeah, I need to lie down.’
They headed to their cabins. ‘Makes you glad that we joined the Navy, doesn’t it?’
‘I guess.’
‘Hey, who’s this?’ She put on the deepest voice she could and said, ‘‘You have been informed!’ The arrogance!’
Rami looked nervously around to make sure no one was listening and nodded, ‘I guess that’s why they are called ‘Gods’.’
‘Hey, are you gonna be alright?’
Truth be told, Rami was more than worried. Investigating a crashed fighter or an accidental weapon discharge was one thing, this was something else entirely. Twin had tense relations with its human neighbours, let alone the rest Galaxy, and things were about to get a lot worse, ‘I get the feeling our job is going to become a lot more complicated.’
‘You’re worried about Juni.’
‘She is already in the wing, with hardly any experience. What if she is dragged into this too?’
‘If she is, she’ll be fine. She is sharp and tenacious, she was made for this job, which is more than we can say isn’t it?’
‘I hope so.’
Rami was about to open the door to his cabin when someone ran around the corner of the corridor.
‘You two.’ It was a marine. ‘To the Bridge, now!’
‘Can we just have a moment to chill first?’ Mira said.
‘These are orders,’ he said. ‘Get your asses up there now.’
‘Listen, buddy, I don’t know who you think you are talking to, but we don’t work for you or your Captain,’ she said. ‘We both have personal hours to use up, so buzz off.’
‘Not anymore you don’t, you have both been reassigned.’
‘What?’ Rami and Mira said at the same time.
The marine grinned, ‘You chumps are going to lead the search for the missing dragons. And guess what? There’s been a sighting.’
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 100 x 100px
File Size 25.7 kB
Yeah, quite a twisty turf in concern of writing mechanics going on here.
So when writing a story, we there is something called the rhetorical triangles.
Author versus story versus audience.
Ethics versus emotional soundness versus logic.
These things need balance and through of when writing a work.
A stories’ beginning serves to draw an audience into the work.
The first thing we have is a prologue, prologues serve to introduce aspects of before a work starts. The issue here is you start with creation myth. Myth is insanely difficult to write, and SF is usually not myth.
So what we have is typical myth gibberish, which is fleeting, terms just thrown out, and insanely vague. So this is going to sound harsh, but in reality for the sake of the rhetorical triangle, it tells the audience nothing, and does not serve much of a purpose. This is seen often when people try to write myth and this is why I say this, it does not preform the task of starting a story or using myth well. These entities can be expressed otherwise if this is important deep down in the work. This does not serve a prologue or a beginning of a story.
The rest does not seem a prologue, but an actual chapter one where the story begins.
“‘What the hell are they doing here?’ The captain asked. He received no answer from the small band of diplomats aboard his cruiser. “
Right here, that is a beginning of the story. Dialogue sucking in the audience to an interesting question and actual mystery attached to character and agency. So, this is good.
“More questions were asked…..no one knew why returning them was so important to Qan'Uat.
They left the communication room feeling as dazed as ever. “ <- These three paragraphs are nothing but bad telling. Either use a page break or find a way to transition with description.
So you are insanely dialogue heavy. Break up your dialogue chains with more action and discerption. We have no sense of character face or looks in all of it, zilch; especially none human races. SF also thrives on the little things, its part of the fun. Especially; since you have SF dragons, and they are not described in any detail. There is also little natural reaction between species. So work on that description to add a sense of awe and wonder to audience through character, everyday things, and description of place as we are just free floating with little sense of scene or senory.
Though your plot and dialogue is very strong and exciting to the imagination, great strengths, it needs its descriptive backbone to concrete that sense of wonder.
You got good things going, but some areas to work in which will make your writing strengths really really pop.
~Helix
So when writing a story, we there is something called the rhetorical triangles.
Author versus story versus audience.
Ethics versus emotional soundness versus logic.
These things need balance and through of when writing a work.
A stories’ beginning serves to draw an audience into the work.
The first thing we have is a prologue, prologues serve to introduce aspects of before a work starts. The issue here is you start with creation myth. Myth is insanely difficult to write, and SF is usually not myth.
So what we have is typical myth gibberish, which is fleeting, terms just thrown out, and insanely vague. So this is going to sound harsh, but in reality for the sake of the rhetorical triangle, it tells the audience nothing, and does not serve much of a purpose. This is seen often when people try to write myth and this is why I say this, it does not preform the task of starting a story or using myth well. These entities can be expressed otherwise if this is important deep down in the work. This does not serve a prologue or a beginning of a story.
The rest does not seem a prologue, but an actual chapter one where the story begins.
“‘What the hell are they doing here?’ The captain asked. He received no answer from the small band of diplomats aboard his cruiser. “
Right here, that is a beginning of the story. Dialogue sucking in the audience to an interesting question and actual mystery attached to character and agency. So, this is good.
“More questions were asked…..no one knew why returning them was so important to Qan'Uat.
They left the communication room feeling as dazed as ever. “ <- These three paragraphs are nothing but bad telling. Either use a page break or find a way to transition with description.
So you are insanely dialogue heavy. Break up your dialogue chains with more action and discerption. We have no sense of character face or looks in all of it, zilch; especially none human races. SF also thrives on the little things, its part of the fun. Especially; since you have SF dragons, and they are not described in any detail. There is also little natural reaction between species. So work on that description to add a sense of awe and wonder to audience through character, everyday things, and description of place as we are just free floating with little sense of scene or senory.
Though your plot and dialogue is very strong and exciting to the imagination, great strengths, it needs its descriptive backbone to concrete that sense of wonder.
You got good things going, but some areas to work in which will make your writing strengths really really pop.
~Helix
Hey, thanks for the detailed response, this is really useful to me.
The opening part, or 'creation myth', as you call it, is going. I'm just going to remove it entirely.
I have mixed feelings about being heavy on description for a few reasons. On the one hand, I'd like to strike a good balance, make the writing flow nicely, and give some idea as to what is actually going on. However, I like to give the reader some credit and allow them to imagine a scene or characters how they wish, rather than hand-feed it to them. Also, I have a strong dislike of authors who overuse description in their writing, and a strong preference for authors like Naomi Novik, Becky Chambers, and Eoin Colfer, who do not.
There is always room for improvement here, so I am going to give it a bit of a rewrite and see if I can improve it :)
The opening part, or 'creation myth', as you call it, is going. I'm just going to remove it entirely.
I have mixed feelings about being heavy on description for a few reasons. On the one hand, I'd like to strike a good balance, make the writing flow nicely, and give some idea as to what is actually going on. However, I like to give the reader some credit and allow them to imagine a scene or characters how they wish, rather than hand-feed it to them. Also, I have a strong dislike of authors who overuse description in their writing, and a strong preference for authors like Naomi Novik, Becky Chambers, and Eoin Colfer, who do not.
There is always room for improvement here, so I am going to give it a bit of a rewrite and see if I can improve it :)
There is a line between over description and detail. A small short controlled burst action sentence every now and again or descriptive action tied to dialogue tag is how you get that in now and again. For example you often just end a tag with said or leave blank when I real life we do far more than just a talk. A little bit of character and environment description can go a long way. Its fine for audience to fill in blanks, but if they don't have anything to go with than they really can't begin filling in blanks. So this is why I bring it up. Yes over descriptive paragraphs kill a work indeed, especially a large description character block used once, interrupting flow, and than forgotten about. So that I agree with. It is just learning to break and find place for some description in the work every now and again. Back to that concept of short controlled bursts spread out.
"An outcrop of rocks lay to the east, the landing pad was on the outer edge. The desert that surrounded them on three sides made Rami feel very small. He looked into the distance and saw mountains outlining the horizon, a heat haze made it difficult to make out, but they looked green with vegetation, something that their surroundings lacked. " <- this is the kind of description to aim for more in your work. A good example and things to aim for.
"An outcrop of rocks lay to the east, the landing pad was on the outer edge. The desert that surrounded them on three sides made Rami feel very small. He looked into the distance and saw mountains outlining the horizon, a heat haze made it difficult to make out, but they looked green with vegetation, something that their surroundings lacked. " <- this is the kind of description to aim for more in your work. A good example and things to aim for.
Also forgot to add a lot of repeating character blanked to start sentences and paragraphs. Experiment and look at ways to starting sentences and paragraphs through adjective and verb. Going back through and coming these out draft to draft can do a lot to sharpen a work more strongly.
I'm not sure what you mean by this. I'd be rather against opening paragraphs frequently with adjective or verb, as this is basically almost never done in the in anything I read. Also, I recall The Elements of Style advising against it, though it's been a while since I read that.
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