can't hold on. the disaster is nearing.
all i've been doing is destroying others and bringing them down.
i didn't want to tell you, but i've made a few bad choices.

i contacted him. i told him everything, gave him my location. told him to come find me.
then deleted everything and threw up in the sink.
maybe part of me misses the way i cried every day at 6pm sharp.
maybe i miss the way i was scared to be alone, or leave the house.

or maybe its because i know i can never be enough for anyone.
you promise me the world, but how can i trust you?
how can i trust anyone ever again?

people promise to be by my side until the end of time.
and then they leave without a word.
maybe i'm just too selfish, too preoccupied
with self-destructive episodes to see what i've done.

wish i could be done with you, with myself, with this life.