Umm, I think you made some kind of mistake, 404 Error appears.

I'm getting the same thing

Okay, I read it and, well...I noticed a lot of spelling errors and it was all just messed together. You also could have made it a tad bit longer.

you got to understand...i've been going from computer to computer >> but it'll get better

Oh ok, didn't know that. Well, I'm sure that you know what your doing. :)

Thanks for having faith in me :) oh do read Shinji's life you might like it better

however it's shorter than this x.x

It's a nice beginning, but there are probably a few things you may wish to work on in the future. I don't mean to be brash or anything.

Besides some of the nitpicking grammar and punctuation, you may wish to look at your clause agreement, try to refrain from using a "direct conversational voice" while writing, try not to change verb tenses so suddenly, and maybe extend some of your literary devices.

Keep on working and you'll get better.

ok thanks ^^

Interesting beginning. I was listening to "hurt" by Christina Aguilera while reading it, which made it really sad, hehe... even though there's nothing sad about it right now.

Anyways, keep it up.. I'll check in for your next chapter :)

Ok :)