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MANIACAL EXPERIMENTS - The Story for the Pictures!
by GlenSkunk/OiNuttah
PART 1: The Plunger and Bicycle Pump
It was dark...very dark. So dark that only the faintest definitions of items could be seen, so silent that the very soul of...
"OW! Watch it, that's my tail!"
...so silent that the very...
"Wait, where's my lucky stapler? WHERE'S MY LUCKY STAPLER?!"
...so silent tha...
"I don't know about your stapler but these shackles are chafing!"
...so sile...
"...I miss my mommy..."
WILL YOU TWO SHUT YOUR BLOODY WHORE MOUTHS ALREADY?!
Silence again.
Finally.
*ahem* Oh, sod the darkness...a mysterious hand reaches out and flips on the lights OH GOD MY EYES!
"THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!"
"You're not wearing them though."
"Oh, yeah."
Now that our eyes have adjusted adequately... *ahem* The baleful glow of the lights above cast harsh shadows all across the room, shifting patterns of evil seeming to creep around the room...well, either that or someone's playing shadow puppets again. A quick glance beyond the light showed a pair of black paws trying to make the popular shadow puppet "Deformed Rabbit." Shaking his head as he failed again, the mysterious person stepprf into the light and reveals himself to be a rather tall skunk, his tail stripes shaped like lighting bolts or electricity, insert whatever metaphor works better for you...
"Ah!" The skunk looked at the two shackled to their tables, smiling broadly. "I see you're getting...comfortable?"
"Hardly." The female of the shackled pair, a grey and white coyote with a curvy figure and cute red bows tied to her ear tips, looked poisonously at the skunk. "I swear, these shackles are worse than watchbands! What'd you make 'em from, asbestos?"
The male next to her struggled in his bonds - he looked mostly like a male version of the female next to him, except no bows on his ears, and a pair of nice shiny goggles topping his head. "Well, it could be worse..." The coyote fellow struggled a bit more.
"You could have lost your lucky stapler...waaaaaah!"
"Why did I ever tell you there was such a thing as a lucky stapler..." The coyote female shook her head and tried to facepalm...only to find the shackle keeping her from it. She settled on just sighing.
"Now that you're suitably...comfortable..." The skunk strode forward and grinned an evil grin, his gleaming white teeth glinting in the light somehow...though there also appeared to be signs of some spinach in between...
"What?! Spinach?! Where?!" The skunk quickly pulled out a mirror and began to look at it for signs of spinach...heh, made him look.
Sighing, the skunk tossed the mirror aside, where it fell out a window and cold-clocked a cat in the street. "ANYWAY...now that you're suitably...comfortable...I believe it is time for introductions. I know you as Pandora and Chaos, sister and brother to Calamity and Catastrophe, taught by Wile E. Coyote...heh, easy enough to find out, it's in your student newsletter."
"Charming." Pandora looked miffed at the skunk, wondering what kind of man would strap her and her brother to medical tables and blind them with bright lights. "And you're GlenSkunk right?"
"I am..." The skunk looked at Pandora and deflated visibly. "Damn it, how did you know that? I'm sure I didn't tell you that."
Pandora used one of her ears to pull out a copy of a weird heart-centric magazine...with the skunk as the centerfold. GlenSkunk looked a touch embarrassed now. "Oh," he managed to peep out, meekly.
"Why do you even HAVE that, sis?" Chaos looked at the magazine oddly, trying to figure out what was inside it just from the cover.
"I mean, no one we know is into that..."
"School project, Chaos." Pandora tossed the magazine away with a casual flick of an ear, the magazine landing in the skunk's hands. GlenSkunk looked at it and hmmmed.
"Well, regardless of HOW you found out..." The skunk held the magazine gingerly in one hand as he pointed with the other. "You know that I am DOCTOR GlenSkunk, fiendish practitioner of..." A quick glance at the magazine. "Oh, hey, I don't have this issue."
The skunk quickly stuffed the magazine into his labcoat and whistled nonchalantly. He then strode over to a bank of controls with an astonishing amount of complexity, like some kind of crazy Rube Goldberg contraption.
"Anyway, where was I...oh, yes!" The skunk straightened up and pointed dramatically at the two coyotes. "I, Doctor GlenSkunk, fiendish practitioner of medical lunacy and dastardly insurance fraud schemes, have brought you two here...FOR SCIENCE!"
Silence draped over the room awkwardly.
"Uhm..." The skunk looked around. "I have brought you two here...FOR SCIENCE!"
More silence, more awkward.
"Hmmm." The skunk pulled out an iPhone and began to work the touch screen on it. He facepalmed soon after... "Son of a...figures, the ONE night I get to do this kind of thing, and it's CLEAR tonight. HOW am I supposed to be taken seriously as a mad scientist without a THUNDERSTORM to provide dramatic crashes at critical points in my speech? It'd be like trying to do mad science with just a piece of string...guess I'll just have to wing it."
Straightening up and tucking the iPhone back into his pocket, GlenSkunk stood next to the panels and pulled a lever quickly. The panel began to give a dull hum, then something went *ping* and the entire panel caught fire.
"BLOODY HELLFIRE!!!!"
The skunk quickly yanked a fire extinguisher from his tail and began to suffocate the flames mercilessly, despite the flames' protests and cries for mercy. Pandora and Chaos just looked at this display in bemused silence, forgetting their restraints for a moment.
With the fire under control, the skunk sighed and glared at the panel. "ALRIGHT, then. Any more trouble? Feeling like zapping me with an electric shock or dropping knobs everywhere? No outstanding issues? RIGHT!" The skunk flipped two more levers - gingerly
this time - and from the ceiling came a bizarre series of noises, hisses and whirrs, water vapor billowing out dramatically. Two mechanical arms descended from the ceiling, carrying machines that defied description...well, okay, not really, but I had to write SOMETHING there.
Pandora looked at the machine dangling above her, seeing the two large globes pressed together, topped with a pair of rings of gleaming metal. Pondering on it, she muttered... "Reminds me of a girl I once knew. REALLY into body piercings..."
Chaos, meanwhile, looked above as another arm descended toward him, carrying...something. Chaos began to laugh on seeing it, as it appeared to be nothing more than a plunger and a bicycle pump duct-taped together.
"SILENCE!" The skunk looked at Chaos with daggers from his eyes - well, not REAL daggers, obviously, having daggers flying from one's eyes would be a safety hazard - and berated the coyote. "That is a high-tech piece of equipment you're looking at!"
"High tech? HAH!" Chaos convulsed with laughter on the table, barely able to keep his eyes open as he guffawed. "Look, you can even see the baling wire and chewing gum!"
"WHAT?!" GlenSkunk fumed, smoke shooting out of his ears in giant clouds, his eyes fixed firmly on Chaos, a red glow around the iris. "Just for THAT, cur, I'll use YOU as my first test subject!" The skunk began to flip a wide assortment of levers in rapid succession, causing all manner of strange noises to emanate from the control panels. "What you see above you," he continued, flicking more levers and switches, "is a special piece of cardiac equipment - my heart bulge stimulator with cardiac inflation function! With this I will revolutionize cardiology! No longer will you need precision tools to operate, just use a chainsaw and some twine! Okay, so the first few patients didn't survive because their hearts were sucked out, but it is a worthy sacrifice...well, okay, no, I lie, I had to pay all the research money to settle lawsuits...oh, forget it!"
The skunk flicked the last switch...and Chaos suddenly found the plunger striking his chest with an unscientific *plop.* Soon, the toilet plunger began oscillating on his chest, pushing up and down slowly, the plunger on the bicycle pump moving along with the moving toilet plunger. The cup of the plunger squished rather interestingly as the bicycle pump forced more air into the cup...time passed...and then...
"What?" The skunk looked at Chaos' chest as the plunger *popped* off his chest. "That's it? Nothing? Nothing at all?"
"Uhm..." Chaos squirmed a bit on the table, blushing slightly. "I-if it helps any, it feels like I got a doozy of a hickey there..."
"AAAAAAARGH!" GlenSkunk flew into a rage and smashed the weird plunger and bicycle pump contraption with a giant wrench out of nowhere! He then strode back to the panel and looked evilly at Chaos.
"So, you may laugh in the face of my invention!" The skunk jerked his head towards Pandora and grinned broadly, then turned back to Chaos. "But perhaps you will change your tune when your sister is bombarbed with trillions of high-energy mammarions!"
"WHAT?!" Chaos looked at Pandora in shock, then back to the skunk, trying not to get too panicked. "No! Not mammarions! NO!"
The skunk cackled as he flipped the switch, and the globes above Pandora began to hum ominously...
"Uh..." Pandora raised a finger in feeble protest. "Look, couldn't we negotiate or something? Like maybe I do your laundry for you? Buy you a latte?"
"Do not try to bribe me, Pandora!" The skunk looked at her with mild contempt. "Besides, I prefer cold blended mochas anyway." He flipped another switch, and the room flooded with a blinding light...
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO PANDORA? WILL SHE SURVIVE THE EVIL GLENSKUNK'S TREATMENT? WILL CHAOS AVENGE HIS SISTER? WILL SOMEBODY ACTUALLY PAY ME MONEY TO WRITE THIS GARBAGE? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!
----
A little fun picture I drew for
ChaosCoyote involving his characters Chaos and Pandora...captured by a mad scientist GlenSkunk! Oh noes!
Chaos and Pandora © chaoscoyote
Artwork and GlenSkunk © GlenSkunk 2010
by GlenSkunk/OiNuttah
PART 1: The Plunger and Bicycle Pump
It was dark...very dark. So dark that only the faintest definitions of items could be seen, so silent that the very soul of...
"OW! Watch it, that's my tail!"
...so silent that the very...
"Wait, where's my lucky stapler? WHERE'S MY LUCKY STAPLER?!"
...so silent tha...
"I don't know about your stapler but these shackles are chafing!"
...so sile...
"...I miss my mommy..."
WILL YOU TWO SHUT YOUR BLOODY WHORE MOUTHS ALREADY?!
Silence again.
Finally.
*ahem* Oh, sod the darkness...a mysterious hand reaches out and flips on the lights OH GOD MY EYES!
"THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!"
"You're not wearing them though."
"Oh, yeah."
Now that our eyes have adjusted adequately... *ahem* The baleful glow of the lights above cast harsh shadows all across the room, shifting patterns of evil seeming to creep around the room...well, either that or someone's playing shadow puppets again. A quick glance beyond the light showed a pair of black paws trying to make the popular shadow puppet "Deformed Rabbit." Shaking his head as he failed again, the mysterious person stepprf into the light and reveals himself to be a rather tall skunk, his tail stripes shaped like lighting bolts or electricity, insert whatever metaphor works better for you...
"Ah!" The skunk looked at the two shackled to their tables, smiling broadly. "I see you're getting...comfortable?"
"Hardly." The female of the shackled pair, a grey and white coyote with a curvy figure and cute red bows tied to her ear tips, looked poisonously at the skunk. "I swear, these shackles are worse than watchbands! What'd you make 'em from, asbestos?"
The male next to her struggled in his bonds - he looked mostly like a male version of the female next to him, except no bows on his ears, and a pair of nice shiny goggles topping his head. "Well, it could be worse..." The coyote fellow struggled a bit more.
"You could have lost your lucky stapler...waaaaaah!"
"Why did I ever tell you there was such a thing as a lucky stapler..." The coyote female shook her head and tried to facepalm...only to find the shackle keeping her from it. She settled on just sighing.
"Now that you're suitably...comfortable..." The skunk strode forward and grinned an evil grin, his gleaming white teeth glinting in the light somehow...though there also appeared to be signs of some spinach in between...
"What?! Spinach?! Where?!" The skunk quickly pulled out a mirror and began to look at it for signs of spinach...heh, made him look.
Sighing, the skunk tossed the mirror aside, where it fell out a window and cold-clocked a cat in the street. "ANYWAY...now that you're suitably...comfortable...I believe it is time for introductions. I know you as Pandora and Chaos, sister and brother to Calamity and Catastrophe, taught by Wile E. Coyote...heh, easy enough to find out, it's in your student newsletter."
"Charming." Pandora looked miffed at the skunk, wondering what kind of man would strap her and her brother to medical tables and blind them with bright lights. "And you're GlenSkunk right?"
"I am..." The skunk looked at Pandora and deflated visibly. "Damn it, how did you know that? I'm sure I didn't tell you that."
Pandora used one of her ears to pull out a copy of a weird heart-centric magazine...with the skunk as the centerfold. GlenSkunk looked a touch embarrassed now. "Oh," he managed to peep out, meekly.
"Why do you even HAVE that, sis?" Chaos looked at the magazine oddly, trying to figure out what was inside it just from the cover.
"I mean, no one we know is into that..."
"School project, Chaos." Pandora tossed the magazine away with a casual flick of an ear, the magazine landing in the skunk's hands. GlenSkunk looked at it and hmmmed.
"Well, regardless of HOW you found out..." The skunk held the magazine gingerly in one hand as he pointed with the other. "You know that I am DOCTOR GlenSkunk, fiendish practitioner of..." A quick glance at the magazine. "Oh, hey, I don't have this issue."
The skunk quickly stuffed the magazine into his labcoat and whistled nonchalantly. He then strode over to a bank of controls with an astonishing amount of complexity, like some kind of crazy Rube Goldberg contraption.
"Anyway, where was I...oh, yes!" The skunk straightened up and pointed dramatically at the two coyotes. "I, Doctor GlenSkunk, fiendish practitioner of medical lunacy and dastardly insurance fraud schemes, have brought you two here...FOR SCIENCE!"
Silence draped over the room awkwardly.
"Uhm..." The skunk looked around. "I have brought you two here...FOR SCIENCE!"
More silence, more awkward.
"Hmmm." The skunk pulled out an iPhone and began to work the touch screen on it. He facepalmed soon after... "Son of a...figures, the ONE night I get to do this kind of thing, and it's CLEAR tonight. HOW am I supposed to be taken seriously as a mad scientist without a THUNDERSTORM to provide dramatic crashes at critical points in my speech? It'd be like trying to do mad science with just a piece of string...guess I'll just have to wing it."
Straightening up and tucking the iPhone back into his pocket, GlenSkunk stood next to the panels and pulled a lever quickly. The panel began to give a dull hum, then something went *ping* and the entire panel caught fire.
"BLOODY HELLFIRE!!!!"
The skunk quickly yanked a fire extinguisher from his tail and began to suffocate the flames mercilessly, despite the flames' protests and cries for mercy. Pandora and Chaos just looked at this display in bemused silence, forgetting their restraints for a moment.
With the fire under control, the skunk sighed and glared at the panel. "ALRIGHT, then. Any more trouble? Feeling like zapping me with an electric shock or dropping knobs everywhere? No outstanding issues? RIGHT!" The skunk flipped two more levers - gingerly
this time - and from the ceiling came a bizarre series of noises, hisses and whirrs, water vapor billowing out dramatically. Two mechanical arms descended from the ceiling, carrying machines that defied description...well, okay, not really, but I had to write SOMETHING there.
Pandora looked at the machine dangling above her, seeing the two large globes pressed together, topped with a pair of rings of gleaming metal. Pondering on it, she muttered... "Reminds me of a girl I once knew. REALLY into body piercings..."
Chaos, meanwhile, looked above as another arm descended toward him, carrying...something. Chaos began to laugh on seeing it, as it appeared to be nothing more than a plunger and a bicycle pump duct-taped together.
"SILENCE!" The skunk looked at Chaos with daggers from his eyes - well, not REAL daggers, obviously, having daggers flying from one's eyes would be a safety hazard - and berated the coyote. "That is a high-tech piece of equipment you're looking at!"
"High tech? HAH!" Chaos convulsed with laughter on the table, barely able to keep his eyes open as he guffawed. "Look, you can even see the baling wire and chewing gum!"
"WHAT?!" GlenSkunk fumed, smoke shooting out of his ears in giant clouds, his eyes fixed firmly on Chaos, a red glow around the iris. "Just for THAT, cur, I'll use YOU as my first test subject!" The skunk began to flip a wide assortment of levers in rapid succession, causing all manner of strange noises to emanate from the control panels. "What you see above you," he continued, flicking more levers and switches, "is a special piece of cardiac equipment - my heart bulge stimulator with cardiac inflation function! With this I will revolutionize cardiology! No longer will you need precision tools to operate, just use a chainsaw and some twine! Okay, so the first few patients didn't survive because their hearts were sucked out, but it is a worthy sacrifice...well, okay, no, I lie, I had to pay all the research money to settle lawsuits...oh, forget it!"
The skunk flicked the last switch...and Chaos suddenly found the plunger striking his chest with an unscientific *plop.* Soon, the toilet plunger began oscillating on his chest, pushing up and down slowly, the plunger on the bicycle pump moving along with the moving toilet plunger. The cup of the plunger squished rather interestingly as the bicycle pump forced more air into the cup...time passed...and then...
"What?" The skunk looked at Chaos' chest as the plunger *popped* off his chest. "That's it? Nothing? Nothing at all?"
"Uhm..." Chaos squirmed a bit on the table, blushing slightly. "I-if it helps any, it feels like I got a doozy of a hickey there..."
"AAAAAAARGH!" GlenSkunk flew into a rage and smashed the weird plunger and bicycle pump contraption with a giant wrench out of nowhere! He then strode back to the panel and looked evilly at Chaos.
"So, you may laugh in the face of my invention!" The skunk jerked his head towards Pandora and grinned broadly, then turned back to Chaos. "But perhaps you will change your tune when your sister is bombarbed with trillions of high-energy mammarions!"
"WHAT?!" Chaos looked at Pandora in shock, then back to the skunk, trying not to get too panicked. "No! Not mammarions! NO!"
The skunk cackled as he flipped the switch, and the globes above Pandora began to hum ominously...
"Uh..." Pandora raised a finger in feeble protest. "Look, couldn't we negotiate or something? Like maybe I do your laundry for you? Buy you a latte?"
"Do not try to bribe me, Pandora!" The skunk looked at her with mild contempt. "Besides, I prefer cold blended mochas anyway." He flipped another switch, and the room flooded with a blinding light...
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO PANDORA? WILL SHE SURVIVE THE EVIL GLENSKUNK'S TREATMENT? WILL CHAOS AVENGE HIS SISTER? WILL SOMEBODY ACTUALLY PAY ME MONEY TO WRITE THIS GARBAGE? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!
----
A little fun picture I drew for
ChaosCoyote involving his characters Chaos and Pandora...captured by a mad scientist GlenSkunk! Oh noes!Chaos and Pandora ©
chaoscoyoteArtwork and GlenSkunk © GlenSkunk 2010
Category Artwork (Digital) / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1000 x 800px
File Size 157.2 kB
Comments