Brings back memories of my ex's mom who thought I was abusing her and we had to have a really awkward conversation explaining BDSM to her lol

Heh. I have a long scar across my chest from cancer surgery in 2019; I explain, "Ya shoulda seen the shark after I got through with it!"

one of the rare times where moving the hyphen gets you the same result

Heh! My mother and sister feel your pain. They bruise like peaches: almost all the bruises they get, especially the bad ones, seemingly come from nowhere!

LMAO!

also fuck car doors... Stupid assholes pop up out of nowhere

Someone will have a real sore and red butt
and someone will have a real sore hand

LMAO

I mean at least someone asked you about it.. i had a huge red mark over the side of my face where i smashed into a glass door and it took a week for people to ask about it XD

Every time I get into my mom's crown vic, I manage to hit the top corner of the car door (the top arrow) with my face and has carried a black eye for about 6 months now because once it heals it happens again.

On that note when I get into my husband's cobra I always hit my head on the top of the door frame, its like ford cards are a curse for me XD

I smash my head getting in and out of cars so often, it's the curse of being tall lol. I hit my head or my face getting in and out of my own damn car lol

D: this makes me feel bad because im barely 5'2'' with shoes on

(On the air of 'Love Shack' by the B52's https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SOryJvTAGs )

The love taps are a little bit weak and he can't get my ass red !
Love taps, baby. (Love taps Baby !)

Love taps, can't get me red,
Love taps, can't get me red.

Taps, taps, taps, on my ass, baby.
Tap a little stronger, baby
Taps, taps, taps, on my ass, baby.
I can't feel you
Taps, taps, taps, on my ass, baby.
Tap a little stronger, sugar
Taps, taps, taps, on my ass, baby.
I can't feel you
Taps, taps, taps, on my ass, baby. (Tap a little stronger)
Taps, taps, taps, on my ass, baby.

--

Yes, my mind is weird. :P

My supervisor's wife works at my place, and one day she showed up with a black eye. According to her, her dog tried to get in her face for pets and cuddles and whacked her in the eye with his skull.

She was sooooo glad that her husband had been in another province at the time...

its a pity there is so much domestic abuse out there. it makes us clutzes look so bad T_T

Reminds me of when me and my ex GF were at a branding demo, and a guy who had volunteered to be a subject for the demo had a tattoo on his ass that was a picture of a fly with the international red "No" circle/cross over it. He and his GF explained that it meant "No flies", to remind them that flyswatter level ass paddling was not adequate.

it really was a car door!!

Mmmhmm. Don't be afraid to ask for help. We're all behind you.