Possible Allergy warning – please read all recipes carefully
and be aware of any allergies or sensitivities that may affect your health and well-being

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Please Fave the original Here

We welcome to our group with his new recipe!

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So, yeah, I can cook. And I have been doing this for a while, whenever I manage to actually call dibs on the kitchen without having to share it with someone (I hate cooking when someone's with me in the kitchen and keeps looking at my hands - unless they're helping, but that's a different story :P)

I also rarely ever take pictures of food, unless I have made it myself. And since today I made something that's unusually edible, then... why not, Imma share the recipe with you.

SO! Welcome to episode 1 of "How to cook and not kill yourself while doing it" with your host - me.
Today we take a look at my approach to chilli. So... here's what you need

For the red stuff:

1 red onion
2 cloves of garlic
some sesame oil for cooking
400 grams (That's like 0,9lb for non metric people ;P) of minced beef
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 can of red beans
A handful of canned corn
Spices - your choice, depending what you want
5 drops of Mega Death
half lime juice

Dice the onions, toss onto a pan (Or a wok, I prefer to cook all my meals in a wok, fite me) with a generous amount of sesame oil. Keep going until caramelized. Add diced garlic. Fry it for a bit, and add the minced beef. Keep cooking until you can't see red spots on the meat anymore. Add half lime juice. Add tomatoes, and reduce the heat to simmer. Keep going for around 5 minutes. Add spices and the suicide hot sauce MINUS the salt. After that, let it simmer for 5 more minutes. Add beans and corn. Go on for another 5 minutes, and then add salt. (And don't forget to taste through the entire cooking process).

For the green vegetable-y stuff

Literally any kind of lettuce or greens you wanna add there. Normal lettuce, roman lettuce, rocket (arugula), kale... as long as it's green and crunchy
Some onion. Can be red or green. Any amount you want, depends how much you hate your liver.
Tomato (don't peel it, otherwise you'll get weird red mush)
Other half lime juice
Salt and pepper.

I'm not gonna explain how to make a salad here, use your imagination. Mind you, I didn't write oil in the ingredients - because there isn't any. The red meaty stuff is oily enough.

Jasmine rice - follow the recipe on the box
Guacamole - I suggest making the less spicy version, or just buy it ready made from store. If I'm lazy, you can be too.

Once you got all the stuff done and prepared, and you managed NOT to burn the entire kitchen down, you can put it in a bowl.
On the very bottom, a relatively thick layer of rice. Then, on top of it, from one side, put the red meaty stuff. On the other side, the salad. Then put a blotch of guacamole on top of the red meaty stuff.
Eat, and try not to die after you realized you made it a bit too spicy.

Enjoy!