The Rise of the Raccoon Queen
Or The Big Grey Fluffy Butt Matter

A Story of Faerie
© 2021 by M. Mitchell Marmel


(Additional characters by E.O. Costello and W.D. Reimer.)

Thumbnail art by  tegerio, with color by  marmelmm


Part Two.


Westersloe:

I was headed back down the stairs when I heard my wife ask, “Taking in strays again, my dear?”

Elves Don’t Lie. I admit I flinched just a little when my mate, Anastasia, put that question to me. She’s good at throwing fireballs, so I try very hard to keep in her good graces. Especially after the huge flap that was raised before Zonya had Dotto.

I recovered quickly and gave her a smile. “Not at all, [mate precious to the heart of myself]. She’s here to look through the library. Research into Gaps, like the one you and I encountered years ago.”

That brought Anastasia up short as she recalled the incident. Needless to say, it had been very memorable. “Is she staying here?”

“No, she has a wagon, she told me, down in Glenallid with the wolves. I offered her fire and bread,” I said. Elves Don’t Lie, and she would have found out eventually anyway. “Who told you she was here?”

“Tessie.” Of course. I would have put her over my knee for tattling on me (Tessie that is), but she’d like that (Tessie, that is). “Where’s she from?”

“She’s not from around here,” I said.

Anastasia rolled her eyes at me. “Oh, come now, Westersloe. Everyone’s from somewhere.”

“Well, I did meet her in Eastness, with a group of other entertainers, but like the Wolf Queen and myself she seemed pretty intent on getting the Netherhells out of there.” I thought a bit. “She wasn’t speaking Standard Elvish in the same dialect as the Elves there, either.” I then told my mate about her curious method of apparating.

“A device of some sort?” The [First-of-Eldest] looked skeptical. “Do you think she might be Lowfolk of some kind?”

“I don’t think so,” I replied. “I’ve actually met Lowfolk, back when I was soldier-servant to Sir Jasper Chitterleigh, and none of them seemed to be mental giants. Miss Hartoh-Mason, on the other paw, seemed – and seems – to be smart as a whip.” I blinked as she swept past me. “Anastasia, where are you going?”

She paused, one paw on the bannister. “I want to meet her.”

I nodded. Of course, it’d be only natural for her to want to get acquainted.


***


Anastasia:

In hindsight, maybe there was a small amount of jealousy mingled with the curiosity. Westersloe told me that he’d only met this Tali furson briefly during his trip to Eastness, but I was intimately familiar with what one of the Royal Skunks calls his “sick Elhamian mojo.”

It was an outside chance, but still a chance, that my mate’s grandfather’s reputation was at it again.

The door to the study was ajar, so I eased it open. She was wearing what looked like a mel’s clothing, a single-piece costume of some sort and boots that reached midway up her calves. A pair of spectacles was perched on her nose as she intently pored over a scroll. She had her back to me, and a sudden thought inspired me to try a bit of Elf-mind. I’d get to the bottom of this, and find out where she was really from.

So I reached out . . .

And Nothing. With a capital N.

Literally Nothing, as if my thought had gone down a hole or something. It was definitely jarring, and I took a step back. I guess I made some noise, as she turned and smiled at me.

“Hello! Are you the lady of the house?” Her Standard Elvish did, in fact, have an odd accent to it. If I could describe it, it’d be as if one took an Elflet from a country town and educated him in Persoc Tor. Very correct, but a hint of a lilt under the words.

“Y-Yes, I’m Anastasia.”

She smiled behind her spectacles. “That’s a very pretty name. I met an Anastasia once, but she was a vixen, and came to a very bad end.” Her ears and tail flicked. “Is anything wrong?”

“I-I . . . “ I was still at a bit of a loss. “It’s like you’re . . . like you don’t exist.”

She laughed. “I get that a lot. Oh, I could tell you stories, but Corps policy frowns on that.” Her eyes widened. “Let me guess: You tried the mind-to-mind thing?” I nodded, and she asked, “Didn’t your husband tell you?”

“He said that you weren’t from around here.” I sat down in his chair. “I really have to start listening to him more.”

“That’s all right,” Tali said. “I rarely listen to my husband – well, when I mean rarely, I mean when it suits me.” She grinned and took her glasses off, then got up and offered a paw. “Tali Hartoh-Mason.”

I took it. “Anastasia Rosebush-Aspen, [First-of-Eldest] of Elfhame.”

“Not ‘Winterbough?’”

I smiled. “That’s ordinary custom in the rest of the Empire, so I hear, but here in Elfhame the does rule.”

“It does save a lot of effort, doesn’t it?” Tali giggled. “Take my mate – please; he’s a wonderful guy, don’t get me wrong. Strong like a rock when there’s trouble.” She smiled. It was a nice smile. “Of course, he’s also smart like a rock at times, too.”

That got us both giggling. When I caught my breath I said, “I apologize for interrupting your reading.”

“Yes, well,” Tali said as her ears dipped, “I got a bit distracted,” and she held up a scroll for me to look at.

“Really? Jane, the Lowfolk Femme?”

She chuckled. “They’re actually pretty good. The jokes are a bit dated – “

“I think they date back to the Long Ago,” I said.

“ – But the artists have a very good grasp of female anatomy.” The feline smiled, held the scroll up and tilted it as she studied it with a critical eye. “Very good.”

I had a feeling that she might get along well with the Wolf Queen, although Ooo-er would very likely voice objections.

Then again, she might not.

“You mentioned that you’re married,” I said. “Any children?”

Tali grinned as only a feline can, I suppose. “Two! Franq and Jesi. A boy and a girl.”

“That’s wonderful,” I said. “Are they at home while you’re here?”

“No – well, I hope not,” she replied. “They’re both at school.” She rolled up the Jane scroll. “Bit of an interesting story, really.”

“Oh? Before you start, would you like some more tea?”

“Yes, please.” I rang for Nippy and asked for tea, and after we’d been served, I asked Tali to continue.

She sipped her tea and set the cup down before saying, “Well, Matt and I aren’t the same species, you understand, but he’s surprisingly . . . potent, if you understand me,” and she wiggled her eyebrows as I laughed. “He swanned off shortly after we did it – “

“’Did it?’”

“Had venery,” and I nodded and gestured for her to continue. “As soon as I realized that I was pregnant, I took a week’s vacation and the next time he saw me I was about to, well, decant the twins.”

I waved at her to stop, and tried to think that through. I know time-spells, but this was a new one on me. “How does that work out?” I asked.

Tali paused, her ears and tail flicking. When she spoke, she measured her words carefully. “My organization – the people I work for – can manipulate time. I took a week’s vacation on the main timeline, but roughly nine months elsewhere.”

“That’s an interesting spell,” I said, my own ears swiveling. “I’d really like to learn it.”

“It’s not a spell,” she said. She put a finger to her chin and thought for a moment, then held out her spectacles and the Jane scroll to me. “Take a look,” she said.

I looked, squinted, blinked, and looked again. I looked up at her. “I know this is written in Standard Elvish, but I can’t read this.” Tali nodded, and I looked at the spectacles. “It’s these, isn’t it?”

She nodded. “What Elves can do with magicks, my people and I do with technology.” She gave a half-smile. “It’s a very simplistic explanation, but the best I can do and not violate policy.”

“I see. Well, I don’t want you to get in trouble,” and I gave her back her glasses. I kept the scroll for myself, and I could read it.

I think I’ll keep it. Just to read.

Elves Don’t Lie.



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