Sorry I haven't really posted much, I haven't drawn much in general for awhile since I've been busy with other things. I haven't even really had time to think about/indulge in a lot of little stuff besides looking at art.

Had a pretty bad day today and did this sketch just to get my mind focused on something else.

I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea, it wasn't a shock to find out that I have it since my ability to sleep/feel rested/etc. has been declining for the past few years. I've mentioned this to doctors and nothing really ever was done for/about it until this year, I finally was able to get a referral from my endocrinologist of all people. So I get the appt which is by phone, Dr. sends an at home sleep study device, I wear it & turn it back in and then I hear nothing until I get a call from the company that supplies cpap devices used to help sleep apnea. I tell the lady I didn't even get a follow up with the Dr and I had no idea I was even going to be contacted, I didn't know what size or type of mask I would need so they end up just sending me one as a guess. Turns out it's not the right mask for me so they switch it to another and I've tried using it and it's not the right size. I contact them today to see if I can be sent a smaller size and they tell me that my insurance won't pay for it so I'll have to pay for it out of pocket which I do not have the money for nor do I agree with having to pay for something that may need several times of trying to get the right fit/size/etc. so my options are to buy it out of pocket or wait for 3 months until my insurance will pay for it again. This is a device that I need to be able to not only sleep but avoid possibly dying in my sleep because my airway closes and I don't wake up. Needless to say I'm pretty upset, I'm essentially being punished for something that I didn't do, I'm not the one who chose the initial mask and it's also not my fault that the new mask they sent isn't the right size for me. I've received essentially zero support as far as using the device as well, they literally just sent me this device that had a small booklet that only included how to put all the parts together, nothing about troubleshooting comfort/fit/etc. or helpful tips on getting used to the device itself. I have a coworker that also uses one and she's been far more helpful with ideas on how to make things more comfortable and things I can do to get better used to wearing the mask in general which imo a patient should never have to seek out another patient, the Dr./company should provide this sort of support. To top it all off, my usage of the device is monitored and I have to use it for at least a certain amount of time otherwise insurance will stop paying for it/the supplies needed for it. What if I'm struggling to find the right mask? THAT INSURANCE ONLY ALLOWS TWO CHANCES TO GET RIGHT. Part of me wonders if this is just a failing of how the Dr./company has handled covid related things (like not being able to be in person/not being able to be face to face to sort out proper sizing or whatever) but patients shouldn't have to suffer because they can't seem to figure out a better way to provide support.

So anyway, in the end I'm just going to buy one of the smaller masks out of pocket when I get paid, I can't use the device otherwise and insurance isn't going to pay in 3 months if I'm not using the machine. All I want to do is to be able to sleep properly.

TLDR: I'm upset about medical stuff, I don't want to have to deal with it.