FA+
Shop
285
Views
Views
1
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Story / Miscellaneous
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50
File Size 3.6 kB
Report this content
More from Kerosel
"Ryan was nearly killed twice in half an hour."
I remember reading an interview with Harry Harrison discussing writing, and in it he talked about having a hook to start off a story. Something to get the audience interested and keep them from going "Meh" and setting your story down. I imagine with a novel, people are pretty well committed to reading if they pick it up, but short stories probably live and die by their opening paragraph.
So I have here assembled a selection of first paragraphs from upcoming stories I'm planning to write. As a side note, it's amazing what you can knock out when you get away from the internet for a few hours at 38,000 feet.
Anyone interested in hearing more from any of them?
By the way, I remember that line from Patriot Games because I was in the local library long ago trying to decide between Patriot Games and Cardinal of the Kremlin. I read a little of the start of each and ultimately went with Cardinal, but that line from Patriot ate at me until I could finally read it. Talk about a good hook!
-- Opening line to Patriot Games by Tom ClancyI remember reading an interview with Harry Harrison discussing writing, and in it he talked about having a hook to start off a story. Something to get the audience interested and keep them from going "Meh" and setting your story down. I imagine with a novel, people are pretty well committed to reading if they pick it up, but short stories probably live and die by their opening paragraph.
So I have here assembled a selection of first paragraphs from upcoming stories I'm planning to write. As a side note, it's amazing what you can knock out when you get away from the internet for a few hours at 38,000 feet.
Anyone interested in hearing more from any of them?
By the way, I remember that line from Patriot Games because I was in the local library long ago trying to decide between Patriot Games and Cardinal of the Kremlin. I read a little of the start of each and ultimately went with Cardinal, but that line from Patriot ate at me until I could finally read it. Talk about a good hook!
Category Story / Miscellaneous
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 3.6 kB
The second one and then the first one seemed to me to be the most intriguing.
Someone was doing a very similar exercise over on The Writer's Guild forums set up by
Duroc
Someone was doing a very similar exercise over on The Writer's Guild forums set up by
Duroc 
I think that you've needlessly diluted them, starting with descriptions and neutral actions instead of the hook itself.
Taking the last one as an example, that little bit of dialogue is the central point of the hook, but it's hidden behind eight sentences. Pushing it up to the front would make the effect not only immediate but also so much more powerful:
"Please... Please, you need to get me my pills. They're..." She reached out through bars of her cell door to plead to a passing guard, her hand trembling slighly.
“Yeah, yeah, they’re in your backpack honey.” The guard smiled sweetly. “I know. We’ll get you your pills. Don’t worry.” He continued walking, whistling an upbeat tune.
Taking the last one as an example, that little bit of dialogue is the central point of the hook, but it's hidden behind eight sentences. Pushing it up to the front would make the effect not only immediate but also so much more powerful:
"Please... Please, you need to get me my pills. They're..." She reached out through bars of her cell door to plead to a passing guard, her hand trembling slighly.
“Yeah, yeah, they’re in your backpack honey.” The guard smiled sweetly. “I know. We’ll get you your pills. Don’t worry.” He continued walking, whistling an upbeat tune.
Comments