The more farther you get into a story, the more essential it is to establish the rhetoric to the purpose of the work. Right now it is a slow build both in action and in characterization. This is acceptable, but remember as it all goes to the works purpose in the end of all things. The more build the more a works purpose can shine, but hefting that build is often adjoining to a large slope for your audiences patience and enjoyments.

Here we have a questionable fallacy on the prospect of the higher concepts of religious views from an anthropological standpoint of characterization. Psychologically westernized industrialized youth developing in a independent social environment often fail in a collective enculturation. Thus, they often speak there minds and say nasty things without thinking. However certain aspects of reciprocity is still applicable in youth on subjects like respect and knowledge of friendship. If Adam and Niveus as eight years are good friends it may come to a question of knowledge of livelihoods and emotions. The world hell depending on environment also is common to mouth washing in youth.

On the subject is the enculturation of Niveus and Violet by Rose in general under the wing of the faith of Wicca. Depending on how much Rose teaches and practices her faith with her children comes knowledge of faiths and religious traits in general. In this also comes to Rose's responsibility to establish such enculturation of her children by such religious practices and to insure upbringing of her children. This a noted trait highly expressed by her character. Thus, the entire conversation suffers some scrutinization in the explanation of the Abrahmaic realm of punishment.

Still good emotions, and excellent descriptions.

Thanks for that, Helix. By the way, this is the last 'introductory chapter'. I intend for their individual traits to come into play as more of an aggressive 'in life' factor from here on out... and establish some in-story uniqueness's.

In Rose's defense, and I need to get this into the story... she doesn't think it's fair to push religion on children because they don't have the mental and emotional maturity to grasp the true definition of it, and so she wants them to grow old enough to decide for themselves n.n;; I'll have to add that in this chapter somewhere...

Excellent.
Yes, deifantley a must add in defense of Rose's character.

I"m just not sure where to put that little quirk about Rose's character... she doesn't exactly have a husband to talk to about it after all x.x ah well, I'll work it out.

Friends, a run in scenerio, some one who doesn't show the same views, self reflection, a journal of her own.

That could work later on in the story, but if I used one of those situations, I couldn't work it into this chapter...

Why not? Your the authro, expanding, rewriting, reworking thats what good writers tend to do a lot.

I like it, Lady. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you put too much detail into your work, it's the little things that make it real. OH.. and this reminds me.. I still would like to get that white pasta sauce recipe from you.. *grins*

I haven't given it to you yet? Oops! Remind me later that I need to do that n.n;;

I feel this chapter is actually pretty important to the over-all storyline. Think about it: Everything up to this point has been very dramatic; both in-your-face depression and love, and the father's death...everything up to this point has been strong. This is a mellow, relaxed setting in which some minor--but important--character development is taking place, and that is always a much-needed setting in many great stories; as dsuch, yours is no exception That being said, I enjoyed this chapter as much as the others. It is both vital and enjoyable to read. Keep up the good work. I expect to have to pay for this BOOK later on

Haha, one can hope n.n;; I hope so too. *laughs* I'd love to get this published as a book... Thanks for your input, that actually makes me feel better about this chapter n.n;;

Truly impressive script, you did an awesome job again buddy!

Thanks so much n.n;; lots of hearts coming from you~

Also... isn't buddy something guys call other guys? o.o;;

Thanks so much n.n;; lots of hearts coming from you~

Also... isn't buddy something guys call other guys? o.o;;