Just a little side story I wipped up, nothing real substantial. Does correlate with a writing projcet I'm working on.
Might come back to fix some mistakes.
Feedback is welcome
Might come back to fix some mistakes.
Feedback is welcome
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 13.4 kB
This is the first bit of writing on your page and thus does a decent job setting up these two characters. Although it's short, the reader is easily able to learn about them and their base personalities, as well as hints to their friendship/relationship. And of course I personally loved the idea of clawing at a liquid metal being without being able to hurt them. <3
There are some small issues with tense (past tense and present tenses mixing), but they can be fixed very easily. There are also more places that I would have loved to see more description, but I'll be reading your other stuff to see if those stories go into further detail. Overall it's a promising start!
There are some small issues with tense (past tense and present tenses mixing), but they can be fixed very easily. There are also more places that I would have loved to see more description, but I'll be reading your other stuff to see if those stories go into further detail. Overall it's a promising start!
Thanks. Unfortunately this isn't supposed to be their introduction. Metallic Memories is supposed to be (Its located in scraps) but its outdated. Plus I wasn't satisfied with it but didn't want to rewrite it. Wolfy has evolved a lot since then, with his dual stoic/affectionate personality becomming more prevalent and gaining
a greater affinity for combat.
a greater affinity for combat.
FA+

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