This is yet another installment of my writing challenge that I've spoken about in the past. The general idea is to take a single scene or idea, and be able to just write it, as-is. No bells or whistles, no frills or glitter. Just write the damn story! :)
I realy don't know how well this one will come across. There's probably two things that will make it be a hindrance to people reading it: one) if you've never known the trials of war, as in, been there for yourself and seen it first hand, then this will probably be a bit cheesy to you, and two) if you've never said words in hatred, that you would later come to regret, then this will make very little sense.
It's /really/ short, which is saying quite a bit for me, as usually, as you all well know, I tend to just babble on and on for pages and pages. :) This one is probably two pages, but I think that it says what it needed to say. It was a somewhat powerful theme, at least in concept, and I hope I was able to capture it, and the emotions of it, well enough for it to be moving and compelling. I'll have to leave you to be the judge of that.
"Say and do now, in life, all the things you will regret having not said and done when life is over." - Blake William Yorrick
I can't even attempt to say anything better than that, so without further ado...
Disclaimer: I hate to have to put this on here, but this work of written fiction is copyright me. Please do not distribute, copy, alter, etc, without my permission. Having said all that, feel free to download and use it for your own inspiration, amusement, laughter, etc, etc.
I realy don't know how well this one will come across. There's probably two things that will make it be a hindrance to people reading it: one) if you've never known the trials of war, as in, been there for yourself and seen it first hand, then this will probably be a bit cheesy to you, and two) if you've never said words in hatred, that you would later come to regret, then this will make very little sense.
It's /really/ short, which is saying quite a bit for me, as usually, as you all well know, I tend to just babble on and on for pages and pages. :) This one is probably two pages, but I think that it says what it needed to say. It was a somewhat powerful theme, at least in concept, and I hope I was able to capture it, and the emotions of it, well enough for it to be moving and compelling. I'll have to leave you to be the judge of that.
"Say and do now, in life, all the things you will regret having not said and done when life is over." - Blake William Yorrick
I can't even attempt to say anything better than that, so without further ado...
Disclaimer: I hate to have to put this on here, but this work of written fiction is copyright me. Please do not distribute, copy, alter, etc, without my permission. Having said all that, feel free to download and use it for your own inspiration, amusement, laughter, etc, etc.
Category Story / Miscellaneous
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 28.3 kB
Oh, why didn't you warn me about what kind of letter this was?:( Ok, so you kind of did... But still... You know i'm very sensetive:S Crying in the classroom is just embarresing:( See what you did? I REALLY hate it when people are asking me if i'm alright... And the fact that i was listening to a moody song while reading didn't make things better...
Now i've got to find something to cheer myself up with... Ooooh, why didn't i read this BEFORE i read "Shastas time"??
Now i've got to find something to cheer myself up with... Ooooh, why didn't i read this BEFORE i read "Shastas time"??
(Shasta offers a friendly hug for comfort)
Uh...er...sorry about that. Didn't mean to cause a scene, and most certainly not to put anyone on the spot.
I guess one thing seems certain: it seems to have elicited a very definitive, emotional response. So I guess I don't have to ask if it was particularly "moving" or not. :)
I hope that even with the embarassing moment, it was worth the read.
(Shasta quick-hugs again and runs off to hide before he causes more tears)
Uh...er...sorry about that. Didn't mean to cause a scene, and most certainly not to put anyone on the spot.
I guess one thing seems certain: it seems to have elicited a very definitive, emotional response. So I guess I don't have to ask if it was particularly "moving" or not. :)
I hope that even with the embarassing moment, it was worth the read.
(Shasta quick-hugs again and runs off to hide before he causes more tears)
Off course it was worth reading it:) All your stuff is worth reading^^
And i'm not really THAT embarrest from standing out in the classroom... Again... I tend to do that:p A lot:s And most often in weird, embarresing ways like tripping, loosing my lunsj to the floor, or by saying something while i'm half asleep on my desk:p
And no worries:) I'm all Happy Lion again:D It really doesn't take that much to cheer me up you know:p Something shiny, and i'm all smily again:p hehe... I'm so easy:S
And i'm not really THAT embarrest from standing out in the classroom... Again... I tend to do that:p A lot:s And most often in weird, embarresing ways like tripping, loosing my lunsj to the floor, or by saying something while i'm half asleep on my desk:p
And no worries:) I'm all Happy Lion again:D It really doesn't take that much to cheer me up you know:p Something shiny, and i'm all smily again:p hehe... I'm so easy:S
I don't think you need the disclaimers in the opening of your introduction to this story/essay. I think even one that has not seen battle..could find meaning in these words.
There are several factors that really rooted my heart into the story. You do not name the soldier..and I think thats of monumental importance. It makes him..so much closer to the reader..as if he could be our brother..our son. We can feel for him as he was our own. I like too the redundant(though that is a harsher term than I seek) use of the title 'Dad'. There is a sense of innocence in that word and again it just bridges the gap between this young man being just another stranger..or someone we know in our own lives...someone we love.
The themes here are powerful..tremendously moving. Every word you write my Lord..does touch people. Be proud of this..it is a gift. I hope more people take the time to read such stories and find therein some meaning or wisdom to apply to their own lives.
And, of course, it is my honor..yet again for sharing your words..your talent with our humble souls here on FA. May you someday..find a much broader forum so that your words can reach so many more.
There are several factors that really rooted my heart into the story. You do not name the soldier..and I think thats of monumental importance. It makes him..so much closer to the reader..as if he could be our brother..our son. We can feel for him as he was our own. I like too the redundant(though that is a harsher term than I seek) use of the title 'Dad'. There is a sense of innocence in that word and again it just bridges the gap between this young man being just another stranger..or someone we know in our own lives...someone we love.
The themes here are powerful..tremendously moving. Every word you write my Lord..does touch people. Be proud of this..it is a gift. I hope more people take the time to read such stories and find therein some meaning or wisdom to apply to their own lives.
And, of course, it is my honor..yet again for sharing your words..your talent with our humble souls here on FA. May you someday..find a much broader forum so that your words can reach so many more.
Thank you, Lady Balaa, for such kind words. I take much heart that the character seemed "real" and that he could be someone that you could even know. That was one of the things I strove for.
I really have no idea what was going on in my head when I wrote this, although the idea that spawned it was quite a bit different. My original attempt was a father to his son, so this one did the total about-face from that idea, but I think it turned out much better this way.
Thanx again for your comments. They are, as always, very welcome and valuable to me. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
I really have no idea what was going on in my head when I wrote this, although the idea that spawned it was quite a bit different. My original attempt was a father to his son, so this one did the total about-face from that idea, but I think it turned out much better this way.
Thanx again for your comments. They are, as always, very welcome and valuable to me. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
That being the case, I definetly like the about turn this made. IMHO it actually strengthened the weight of 'his' words. These are revelations most young minds don't make..it was as if seeing this young man's heart blossom and mature through his words to his father. I fail with words when it comes to what I'm trying to say.
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