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Alright here it is the Legendary tale of the most powerful Prinny in the universe.
A tale of romance, redemption and betrayal!...I think
Anyway enjoy the story.
Shuu Presents: THE LEGEND OF SIR KELL!
As you are all sure to remember that Prinny that promptly stomped all up and down Sir Sweet’s candy ass all the way back in March or so but hasn’t made many appearances since. Why is that? Because he’s too busy making sure that crazy ambitious idiots don’t take over Media Square and the surrounding districts.
But let’s take a look at the career of the Lvl 300 Captain rank Prinny.
First of all he’s a level 300 Prinny! Most Prinnies by the time they reach level 30 usually take their meager Mana earnings to reincarnate into something a bit more violent like a Nekomanta (Don’t laugh if you had the chance you’d turn into a questionably covered cat creature too) But Kell has a bit of Prinny Pride as he calls it besides name the amount of people who think that a freaking Prinny is going to kick their asses? Yeah I didn’t think you could.
So let’s start by looking at the early life of the Over Powered Prinny or code named the O.P.P
Ashe: Dude, that is so not right.
Shuu: Why not? It’s a neat sounding code name isn’t it?
Ashe: Don’t you remember the song of the exact same name?
Shuu: Yeah so what?
Ashe: Do you know what that stands for then?
Shuu: Never really thought about it thought it just kind of sounded cool.
Ashe: Yeah I think it’s better it stays that way then.
Shuu: Why do I have the impeding sense of foreboding?
Ashe: You’ll find out.
Shuu: Anyway let’s dig into the early life of our favorite Police officer/ass-kicker
Sir Kell-The Early Years
In the Netherworld of Nod it was the time that all the wasted souls of humans arrived and arrived we mean being dropped fifty stories onto your little Prinny head.
The scene turns to a modest looking room like the kind you see in CNN reports with Shuu sitting on a nice comfy chair while a Prinny is sitting across from him in a head bandage and arm sling.
Interviewee-Random Prinny
Prinny: There I was thinking how dead I was then next thing I know I’m falling head first towards god-knows-where.
Shuu: So what came to your mind when that happened?
Prinny: What do you think anyone was going to think when they were suddenly falling from the sky?! I was thinking “OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! AGAIN!!!!!!”
Shuu: Believe me some people think of pretty weird stuff when they are about to die.
Prinny: Whatever am I still getting paid?
Shuu: Moving on.
After the new Prinnys that remained conscious began dusting themselves off (while the ones who weren’t or didn’t make it were dragged off to be made into that nights meal) They were escorted by several demons much stronger than they were into tight formations to be examined or in the Netherworlds Overlords terms how many punches they could take to the gut before they fell over screaming for mercy.
Interviewee: Simon the Baciel
Simon: Oh man I loved processing day! I never got to let out so much anger
it was soo good! It was like…like punching kittens!
Shuu: Punching kittens is not okay!
Simon: That’s what they all say…until they try it.
Shuu: Look there is only one cat here that I want to punch and that’s…
Shuu happens to look up past Simon and sees Blaze tracing a noose with fire and points at Shuu the glare she gives just screams “Finish that sentence I DARE you.”
Shuu: Uhhh….Josh yeah Josh.
Simon: *Makes whip-cracking sound*
Shuu: Shut up.
Back on point the Overlord of Nod who was name Sir FreakingAwesome0 happened to be observing the processing on his balcony that day and saw something intresting. He called one of his aides and pointed down to the field of Prinnys and said.
“That demon there will have balls of carved f***king Granite!!”
Understandably the aide thought the Overlord was nuts since he was pointing at a smoking Prinny with several bruises. Then again FreakingAwesome0 had a history of nutty prophecies but he was a level 3006 Belladonna (Plant Demon) so it would have been a moot point for the aide to argue. What the aide didn’t know was that said Prinny had taken quite a few blows before his body decided it was too much of a wuss and shut down.
Simon: I was shocked no Prinny lasted that long.
Shuu: How long do they usually last?
Simon: Well, they usually go down after one punch so I didn’t know what to do at first.
Shuu: So you punched him again?
Simon: Yeah! Hey how did you know what I was about to say?
Shuu: *deadpan* Lucky guess
The reader should know if this didn’t already tell you Baciels aren’t really the sharpest of demons around.
That smoking Prinny was Sir Kell.
So after that first meaningful day Kell was treated like any other Prinny would be treated. Miserably.
Prinny: Sun up to sun down it was clean this, loot that, getting pimp smacked around, literally used as cannon fodder, or worse of all used for the Overlord’s really weird sexual tastes.
Shuu: Do I even want to go near that?
Prinny: I wouldn’t if you value your sanity. I’m glad I got out when I did I was starting to like it.
Shuu: 0.0
Prinny: Don’t judge me.
So from then on Kell served under the Overlordship of FreakingAwesome0 but his comrades immediately noticed something was weird about him.
Shuu: So were they distinguishing traits about Kell that you noticed?
Prinny: He talked like a pansy for one. Like being all polite and junk.
Shuu: Uh anything more noteworthy?
Prinny: Something about honor or something but he was a Prinny what could he have done that could have been so honorable?
It was true Kell was the only Prinny that was insistent on completing all of his tasks no matter how bizarre or just plain downright wrong, a trait that was starting to get on a lot of the other Prinnies nerves.
Prinny: He was making the rest of us look bad by trying to finish all that work. How can a Prinny goof off if one of us keeps trying to work?! It just ain’t right!
All of this came to a head after Kell had been working under the Overlord for three months a group of disgruntled Prinnies cornered Kell and would have mobbed him. A Bahamut level dragon who happened to be walking by at the time stood by to watch.
Interviewee: Bits the Bahamut
Bits: Have you seen Prinnies trying to kill each other? It’s like taking a needle to a ballon factory. Stuff just freaking explodes!
Shuu: Then what happened?
Bits: Stuff got really crazy really freaking fast I’ll tell you that.
Kell had received a tip-off about the attack (More like the slip of the tongue from a drinking buddy) and was ready to defend himself by exploiting the Prinnies greatest weakness.
Bits: It was sick he was jumping and flipping around while they were over tripping over themselves to catch him and when they hit each other they exploded like those VR Trooper mooks man I love that show.
After displaying speed and aglity that no normal Prinny should pocess Kell quickly dispatched his attackers by turning them on each other. Now we should make a quick note about the second thing that was odd about Kell.
Prinnies inherit their memories of what they were like in life to remind them why they are there but none of their talents.
Interviewee: Celestian Angel
Shuu: How come a Prinny isn’t allowed to keep what he could do well in his previous life?
Angel: Imagine a Prinny that was a safecracker and escape artist and the intelligence to pull it off. If they were’t brought down to a manageable level they would never learn their lessons.
Kell was a special case as that he still remembered what he could do well but he couldn’t remember what he was like in his old life aside from his name, those skills were extreme sword-fighting skills and one heck of a brain. As you can imagine it wasn’t long after that incident that he attracted the attention of his Overlord. But the Overlord wasn’t exactly the straightest thinking guy around so thinking up what would be a funny joke he sent off Kell with a company of Prinnies to take over an opposing Overlord’s castle and promptly waited for the slaughter to start.
Bits: What happened next was like...wow I can’t believe that just happened.
Simon: I thought that guy was dead Prinny meat.
Prinny: I was just thinking glad it wasn’t me.
As many would likely and rightfully believe Kell and his small company were going to be sent on to the meat grinder some of them literally since the opposing Overlord a shark demon by the name of Reefington had a special taste for Prinny flesh.
One year passed after the fateful order a year that Overlord FreakingAwesome0 would soon regret.
Not only did Kell return he reported that not only did he manage to successfully return but he reported that he had not only taken over the castle, had taken out Reefington and conquered his ENTIRE LAND!
Bits: When I first heard I was thinking “Get out of here with that weak ass s**t”
It was hard to believe until a local Mothman arrived at FreakingAwesome0 doorstep confirming what Kell said was true. This of course rocketed the Prinny up to star status around the Netherworld.
But the real question was how had the level five Prinny taken down an Overlord nearly three times his size and fifteen times his level?
Kell was no fool as he knew the journey itself would be dangerous enough for his meager squad and true enough by the time Kell reached the borders of
Reefington’s lands all but one of his squad had been wiped out.
Interviewee: Prinkle-Old friend
Prinkle: I was just glad we were alive at that point. I was all for just falling off the face of the map and letting that jerk of an Overlord think we were dead.
But Kell wasn’t having any of that.
Shuu: Working with Kell what did you make of him?
Prinkle: At first I that he was bats**t crazy for going through with that mission but when you looked in his eyes you just knew he was going to do something crazy that just might work.
And that plan was probably the craziest in all of Netherworld history. Kell actually hired himself out to Reefington to get close to the demon to learn his weaknesses while Prinkle would scout around in the cities and generally stir up unrest.
Shuu: What did you think of Kell hiring himself to Reefington?
Prinkle: I thought it was nuts but he told me that he wouldn’t risk having me do it since it was his idea.
Shuu: What did you say to that?
Prinkle: He was insane.
So started Kell’s six-month undercover work Reefington recognized the Prinnys’ talent and frequently invited him to his feasts that he held often. One popular theory that Reefington was fattening Kell up to eat himself; if this has any weight to it at all we may never know.
Shuu: What I don’t get is why did you follow Kell’s orders at all?
Prinkle: He threatened to kick my ass, throw me to some aqua demons and let them chew on my corpse, make them vomit me back up then kick my ass again for good measure.
Shuu: You believed him?
Prinkle: I heard what he did back at the old castle. When you hear about a guy blowing up like 50 guys without throwing a single punch you don’t question him you listen.
What Reefington didn’t know that Kell had bribed the chef to regularly poison the Overlords’ food an easy task regarding the large amount that the shark ate.
Prinkle: *laughs* I’m surprised that nobody tried it earlier I mean he ate like 500 something pounds for freaking breakfast!
After the six months had passed a generally common thing happened in Reefington’s land which was a revolt. Now the shark was no stranger to using force to put down revolts but when he was about to lay some serious smackdown he got a nasty surprise.
Prinkle: You should have seen the look on that overgrown fish’s face. A red mage; a NEW red mage hit him with a fire spell and hacked off like a third of his health!
What was the reason for the Overlords sudden weakness? Kell already knew that regular poison wouldn’t work on an Overlord so he had a special poison made that would lower the Overlords stats and sp rather than his health.
Bits: When you think about it that was pretty damn smart. I mean if it was just his health one heal spell then boom good as new.
Of course the now nearly powerless Overlord retreated into his castle hoping that his vassals would deal with the problem but they had already turned traitor as well most eying the throne. It wasn’t long before he ran into Kell but being paranoid thought Kell had it in for him too until Kell took out one of the demons aiming to take the throne.
Prinkle: Kell was never too clear about what happened after that. He just starts chuckling real dark-like and says that it was fun.
All morbid thoughts aside when the revolters finally managed to break down the door to the castle Kell had already dispatched the Overlord and promptly rose to level 126.
Prinkle: When I saw that I was thinking no freaking way. The crazy bastard had actually pulled it off!
But troubles weren’t over for the Prinnies as the resulting power vacuum for the throne was soon to follow but the now very powerful Prinny had already thought of that as well.
Simon: I don’t have all the details myself but what I heard is that after the Overlord was dead Kell told them that the new Overlord was issuing a challenge to all hopefuls for the throne. Needless to say all those demon lords fell for it hook, line and sinker. I mean who would blame them despite his abnormal level of power for a Prinny there was no way he would lie to a bunch of demon lords that could cause him great bodily harm if he was lying right? Ha the suckers.
Prinkle: Now I actually know what happened next Kell lead all of them to some kind of chamber in the castle basement locked them in while saying that the Overlord would show up soon. What happened next was freaking incredible.
Kell had made some dealings on the side himself hiring several powerful Star mages with embezzled money from the late Reefington. Ordering them to stand in a Magician’s Circle to amplify their power then on his mark lobbed as many Tera Star spells they could muster.
Prinkle: I happened to walk down there with Kell when he gave the order. They lit that place up like a the fourth of July!
Kell figured that the only spell that no monster or humanoid demon had a natural defense against was Star magic and it worked frighteningly well.
Prinny: Poor bastards never knew what hit them. What I heard is that Kell put a No entry Geo Panel in there with a Deathstrike Geo.
Weather this is true or not is up for debate but what is known is that not a single Demon lord that was in opposition to the new regime didn’t live to see the dawn.
Bits: After I heard that that Prinny had my respect right then and there. That was absoleulty the biggest display of asskickery I had ever seen in my life. Believe me I’ve seen a lot of asskickery in my life.
Within a single night Kell had wiped out not only the Overlord but had also dispatched any future opposition that would challenge that rule. Once a few more months of reestablishing some order after the takeover the two
Prinnies rode back in style.
Prinkle: As we rode back to the old castle I called Kell the craziest bastard I had ever known in this life and my old one.
Shuu: What he say to that?
Prinkle: He just laughed and said that he was just glad I had stuck with him the entire time. After that we started…well becoming friends.
That day one of the greatest friendships in the Netherworld was established one that would hold to present day.
When everything was all said and done Kell returned to serving Overlord FreakingAwesome0 after quietly reincarnating into a Captain level Prinny.
Bits: Me and Kell? Well we started talking a little after he came back. When he showed me that scarf of his I thought he was nuts and capes were all the rage. If you couldn’t figure it out by know I was a child of the 90’s
Shuu: 1990s?
Bits: No, about the actually 90s you know like 91 92 etc.
Shuu: Wow.
FreakingAwesome0 may have been an eccentric Overlord but he wasn’t a stupid one. He was one of the few not to underestimate the Prinny and Kell knew that. So obviously the plant demon had to go.
But how was Kell going to accomplish this amazing feet? It was obvious that the trick he pulled on Reefington would not work twice even though most of the demons in FreakingAwesome0 realm would have revolted if Kell so much as thought about it. It also wouldn’t work since the Overlord ate through Photosynthesis.
Simon: I really didn’t even think the little guy could pull it off. As much as I hated the guy FreakingAwesome0 was a smart guy which is exactly why I hated him.
Shuu: *Rolls eyes* I can relate
Simon: Whose smarter then you?
Shuu once again looks past Simon at Blaze who is glaring at him with a “Go there and Burn” look.
Shuu: Nevermind.
So the stalemate began that would last about thirty years. At first FreakingAwesome0 tried sending Kell on dangerous-never-to-return missions in hopes of having him killed in battle but the tenacious Prinny returned time again using his smarts rather than his brawn to complete his missions growing all the stronger the while. What makes things worse on FA0’s end was that Kell had no plans of overthrowing his Overlord .
Simon: I nearly crapped myself when he told me. I mean that Overlord was a freaking tool but Kell brought up that stupid honor thing again. I get a headache just thinking about it.
Unfortunatly the Overlord started growing paranoid about a revolt that was never going to come and when the opportunity presented itself to hurt Kell as deeply as possible presented itself FA0 took it. It was going to be the second to last mistake the Overlord would ever make.
Enter Cat Saber Mina a demon that had recently opened a weapon shop and Kell had walked in to buy some new Prinny blades since he had broken his last set off in the teeth of a Skull Dragon.
Bits: Even I don’t like messing around with those guys. They just soak up hits like nobody’s business. Kell went up to it and kicked its ass so hard that it reincarnated into ghost so Kell wouldn’t come looking for him. I’m serious go look for him he’s got no reason to lie for me.
Though this alleged ghost couldn’t be reached for comment we are getting off topic.
Simon: I didn’t even think that demons could fall in love. The occasional booty call maybe but love no never crossed my mind.
Prinkle: Oh my god those were one of the hardest years of my life. You ever hear a Prinny and a Cat Saber go at it? It is not pretty but she was a good kid.
Needless to say the two demons hit it off quite well of course getting discounts at the weapon shop was always a plus but the two were geniuenly in love and enjoyed their relationship for a few years before that demon called Fu-Q decided to give Kell a long overdue bitch-slap across the beak.
Prinkle: You know…what that guy did…ain’t know excuse no demon deserves *sniff* what Hina got. Sorry I need a sec…
FA0 paranoia had reached new heights when Kell announced his engagement to Hina and that’s when the Overlord saw the opportunity to strike at his foe. He sent Kell off on a mission to quell a supposed uprising far north. When Kell was away FA0 had Hina kidnapped brutally tortured to the point of insanity, forced reincarnation into the strongest form of Nekomata, and forcefully fed her Red Demon Flowers (Those familiar with Cave Story should know the level of screw over these cause) for good measure. When Kell got back the Overlord fooled him into thinking his love interest was a rampaging Demon Lord aiming to take over the throne. Needless to say Kell did his job like he would do any other job with extreme efficacy.
Simon: Now I’m probably the last guy who should be saying this but even I thought what he did was cruel! I mean damn there was no need to do that to the girl damn.
It is unclear how Kell realized the demon was his girlfriend some say that Overlord told Kell himself, other say that one of the tortureist let it slip though one popular in a tragic romantic kind of way was that Hina right before she drew her last breath told Kell she still loved him.
Bits: I don’t know if it’s true or not but I always fall to pieces when I here stuff like that. Excuse me *Honnnkkkk!*
Whatever story is true Kell eventually put two and two together and the result was a very pissed off penguin.
Prinkle: Angry? Naw, angry doesn’t even begin to describe what Kell was feeling. I think if you took the world’s angriest people fused them together threw in Chuck Norris for good measure Kell would still show up rip off his arms beat him with it then proceed to do it with his legs before Pringer Beaming his sorry ass into next week three times over and Kell would still be mad.
What happened next confused a lot of demons as Kell didn’t go on a bloody unstoppable rampage like most would have but he continued his services for FA0. As you can imagine a lot of demons were scratching their heads at this. This strange behavior seemed to spur FA0 paranoria to new heights as why the Prinny would continue to work for him. Didn’t he want vengeance?
Simon: Oh that Prinny wanted revenge alright but he did it like he did everything he did the smart way I’ll tell you what.
Kell figured that FA0 was expecting an attack from him so he did the simple thing and didn’t attack at all figuring the problem would take care of itself sooner or later and true to the Prinny’s thoughts the opportunity presented itself.
Bits: Guy was so paranoid about taking out Kell he probably did the stupidest thing imaginable.
Shuu: What happened?
Bits: He gave Kell a bunch of soldiers that felt bad for him then proceeded to throw a big party.
The event was a bi-monthly party that FA0 threw just to show off his riches and power though do to his increased anxiety attacks about Kell he didn’t attend himself. Kell as well as several other demons were employed to act as bodyguards at the party. That was the moment Kell choose to strike.
Prinkle: It was actually pretty simple really while the squad would create a distraction at the party Kell would sneak up to FA0 chambers and take’em out.
Shuu: Let me guess things didn’t go one-hundred percent.
Prinkle: Oh yeah.
Even with the calming allure of the party FA0 was still paranoid about an attempt on his life. It was getting so bad that he started blaming others as well and that night he snapped.
Bits: Bloke ripped apart his entire harem never seen so many bloody chunks in one spot too. Kell had his work cut out for him.
It was true when Kell arrived the raving mad Overlord was already ready and waiting and Kell found himself in one of the biggest struggles of his life. The Overlord was powerful but his battles with his harem and already left him tired and his madness made him sloppy points that Kell was quick to take to his advantage. Blow after blow he landed dodging around thorny vines and the violent winds that Overlord conjured. Despite his weaknesses the Overlord didn’t go down easily not only did he have his monster skills but he had several powerfuls spells from his days as a Galaxy Skull and Kell did not dodge around them all unscathed.
Simon: You can well imagine that when the fighting started the crap hit the fan as the weaker demons got the hell out while some of the stronger ones started making bets about who would win in the end.
Shuu: I thought most of the demons were on Kell’s side?
Simon: They were but a demon isn’t going to pass a chance to make some extra cash. I bet against Kell myself.
Shuu: Why?!
Simon: Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t that I thought he would lose with his track record I just chose the route that would get the most money.
Shuu: What if Kell lost?
Simon: *Shrugs* I would have killed them all and taken the money anyway.
Shuu: Oy
Simon: Nah, but I don’t know. It was all on whim, I guess. I don’t really recall why I bet on him.
Shuu: *sigh* So how did it end? Kell won, right?
Simon: Sorta. . .
Shuu: What do you mean?
FA0’s blind fury really got the best of Kell. Kell was all, but depleted of his magical power, and the overlords whips caused some grevious injuries. I never seen a prinny cut up like that. . . uh, well, I never seen a prinny still alive cut up like that.
Shuu: Yeah, but we’re fully aware Kell was no ordinary Prinny then.
Simon: Put it this way, it was the first time anyone saw Kell bleeding. You could say it was the last to.
So Kell was running on fumes, and his injuries were just getting worse. When I think about it, all of us was really enjoying the brawl, but it began to tug at your emotions. Even for demons everyone knew at this point it was like
torture. I started to rethink my bet.
Shuu: Preparing to get into a little scuffle of your own then.
Simon: I’m no scrub, I could take all those flora beasts, succubus’s, orcs or whatevers.
Shuu: I’m sure. . .
Simon: Nah, but I guess you could say things happened rather differently. Not what anyone would expect anyways.
Shuu: What do you mean?
FA0 tossed Kell about the castle real good, tearing things up, but Kell just would not give. That Prinny was tough. He still had the energy to attack, but somehow you could say Kell wasn’t really attacking FA0 anymore. I mean everyone saw it that day, but it wasn’t readily apparent. The overlords insanity was breaking with each attack and strike. I mean it looked like he was winning, but in reality the guy was crumbling from the inside. He started getting real reckless, like some old drunk. The guy started attacking everybody.
Shuu: Damn.
Simon: Ha. . .if he won he was doing my dirty work anyways. I be looting the corpses. So you know, I got out of dodge before he would unleash that unbridled insanity on me.
Shuu: Geh.
Simon: Uh, well. . . .I don’t know what happened after that.
In fact no demon bore witness what Kell accomplished that night and any demons that were around didn’t survive the attack.
Bits: It was a freaking light show man the castle literally blew up and one side it was these crazy black flames and another some freaking crystal was forming all over the place. That s*** nearly got me too.
They say that the flames burned for nearly a fortnight and the crystal nearly covered the entire western side of the kingdom when both finally stopped the demons started moving into the castle some to loot the remains of the castle, others to find out exactly what the hell happened then to loot.
Prinkle: I owed it to him you know fitting end to bury a good friend of mine you know.
Shuu: Then to take everything that isn’t nailed down yeah real honorable.
Prinkle: Christ when you say it like that it does.
Shuu: So what happened to Kell?
Prinkle: I was getting to that.
Kell was found in the remains of the throne room in real bad shape. His body was covered in lacerations and more than one body part was not at the right angle. The now deceased Overlord was in far worse shape.
Bits: I was thinking WTFH
Shuu: ?
Bits: Oh come on you don’t even know that one?
Shuu: I’m a hermit when it comes to the internet sue me.
Simon: I was just thinking how much I could get for it.
The Overlord seemed to be held in a prison of crystal were an eternal black flame ravaged him though his physical body was long since dead his soul couldn’t escape to reincarnate so FA0 was doomed to eternal torment.
Prinkle: When I saw that I was like good freaking god I’m glad I wasn’t on the receiving end of whatever Kell did to him.
Kell was picked up (almost as an afterthought) and sent a good few months in the Netherworld’s capable if brutal hands.
A tale of romance, redemption and betrayal!...I think
Anyway enjoy the story.
Shuu Presents: THE LEGEND OF SIR KELL!
As you are all sure to remember that Prinny that promptly stomped all up and down Sir Sweet’s candy ass all the way back in March or so but hasn’t made many appearances since. Why is that? Because he’s too busy making sure that crazy ambitious idiots don’t take over Media Square and the surrounding districts.
But let’s take a look at the career of the Lvl 300 Captain rank Prinny.
First of all he’s a level 300 Prinny! Most Prinnies by the time they reach level 30 usually take their meager Mana earnings to reincarnate into something a bit more violent like a Nekomanta (Don’t laugh if you had the chance you’d turn into a questionably covered cat creature too) But Kell has a bit of Prinny Pride as he calls it besides name the amount of people who think that a freaking Prinny is going to kick their asses? Yeah I didn’t think you could.
So let’s start by looking at the early life of the Over Powered Prinny or code named the O.P.P
Ashe: Dude, that is so not right.
Shuu: Why not? It’s a neat sounding code name isn’t it?
Ashe: Don’t you remember the song of the exact same name?
Shuu: Yeah so what?
Ashe: Do you know what that stands for then?
Shuu: Never really thought about it thought it just kind of sounded cool.
Ashe: Yeah I think it’s better it stays that way then.
Shuu: Why do I have the impeding sense of foreboding?
Ashe: You’ll find out.
Shuu: Anyway let’s dig into the early life of our favorite Police officer/ass-kicker
Sir Kell-The Early Years
In the Netherworld of Nod it was the time that all the wasted souls of humans arrived and arrived we mean being dropped fifty stories onto your little Prinny head.
The scene turns to a modest looking room like the kind you see in CNN reports with Shuu sitting on a nice comfy chair while a Prinny is sitting across from him in a head bandage and arm sling.
Interviewee-Random Prinny
Prinny: There I was thinking how dead I was then next thing I know I’m falling head first towards god-knows-where.
Shuu: So what came to your mind when that happened?
Prinny: What do you think anyone was going to think when they were suddenly falling from the sky?! I was thinking “OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! AGAIN!!!!!!”
Shuu: Believe me some people think of pretty weird stuff when they are about to die.
Prinny: Whatever am I still getting paid?
Shuu: Moving on.
After the new Prinnys that remained conscious began dusting themselves off (while the ones who weren’t or didn’t make it were dragged off to be made into that nights meal) They were escorted by several demons much stronger than they were into tight formations to be examined or in the Netherworlds Overlords terms how many punches they could take to the gut before they fell over screaming for mercy.
Interviewee: Simon the Baciel
Simon: Oh man I loved processing day! I never got to let out so much anger
it was soo good! It was like…like punching kittens!
Shuu: Punching kittens is not okay!
Simon: That’s what they all say…until they try it.
Shuu: Look there is only one cat here that I want to punch and that’s…
Shuu happens to look up past Simon and sees Blaze tracing a noose with fire and points at Shuu the glare she gives just screams “Finish that sentence I DARE you.”
Shuu: Uhhh….Josh yeah Josh.
Simon: *Makes whip-cracking sound*
Shuu: Shut up.
Back on point the Overlord of Nod who was name Sir FreakingAwesome0 happened to be observing the processing on his balcony that day and saw something intresting. He called one of his aides and pointed down to the field of Prinnys and said.
“That demon there will have balls of carved f***king Granite!!”
Understandably the aide thought the Overlord was nuts since he was pointing at a smoking Prinny with several bruises. Then again FreakingAwesome0 had a history of nutty prophecies but he was a level 3006 Belladonna (Plant Demon) so it would have been a moot point for the aide to argue. What the aide didn’t know was that said Prinny had taken quite a few blows before his body decided it was too much of a wuss and shut down.
Simon: I was shocked no Prinny lasted that long.
Shuu: How long do they usually last?
Simon: Well, they usually go down after one punch so I didn’t know what to do at first.
Shuu: So you punched him again?
Simon: Yeah! Hey how did you know what I was about to say?
Shuu: *deadpan* Lucky guess
The reader should know if this didn’t already tell you Baciels aren’t really the sharpest of demons around.
That smoking Prinny was Sir Kell.
So after that first meaningful day Kell was treated like any other Prinny would be treated. Miserably.
Prinny: Sun up to sun down it was clean this, loot that, getting pimp smacked around, literally used as cannon fodder, or worse of all used for the Overlord’s really weird sexual tastes.
Shuu: Do I even want to go near that?
Prinny: I wouldn’t if you value your sanity. I’m glad I got out when I did I was starting to like it.
Shuu: 0.0
Prinny: Don’t judge me.
So from then on Kell served under the Overlordship of FreakingAwesome0 but his comrades immediately noticed something was weird about him.
Shuu: So were they distinguishing traits about Kell that you noticed?
Prinny: He talked like a pansy for one. Like being all polite and junk.
Shuu: Uh anything more noteworthy?
Prinny: Something about honor or something but he was a Prinny what could he have done that could have been so honorable?
It was true Kell was the only Prinny that was insistent on completing all of his tasks no matter how bizarre or just plain downright wrong, a trait that was starting to get on a lot of the other Prinnies nerves.
Prinny: He was making the rest of us look bad by trying to finish all that work. How can a Prinny goof off if one of us keeps trying to work?! It just ain’t right!
All of this came to a head after Kell had been working under the Overlord for three months a group of disgruntled Prinnies cornered Kell and would have mobbed him. A Bahamut level dragon who happened to be walking by at the time stood by to watch.
Interviewee: Bits the Bahamut
Bits: Have you seen Prinnies trying to kill each other? It’s like taking a needle to a ballon factory. Stuff just freaking explodes!
Shuu: Then what happened?
Bits: Stuff got really crazy really freaking fast I’ll tell you that.
Kell had received a tip-off about the attack (More like the slip of the tongue from a drinking buddy) and was ready to defend himself by exploiting the Prinnies greatest weakness.
Bits: It was sick he was jumping and flipping around while they were over tripping over themselves to catch him and when they hit each other they exploded like those VR Trooper mooks man I love that show.
After displaying speed and aglity that no normal Prinny should pocess Kell quickly dispatched his attackers by turning them on each other. Now we should make a quick note about the second thing that was odd about Kell.
Prinnies inherit their memories of what they were like in life to remind them why they are there but none of their talents.
Interviewee: Celestian Angel
Shuu: How come a Prinny isn’t allowed to keep what he could do well in his previous life?
Angel: Imagine a Prinny that was a safecracker and escape artist and the intelligence to pull it off. If they were’t brought down to a manageable level they would never learn their lessons.
Kell was a special case as that he still remembered what he could do well but he couldn’t remember what he was like in his old life aside from his name, those skills were extreme sword-fighting skills and one heck of a brain. As you can imagine it wasn’t long after that incident that he attracted the attention of his Overlord. But the Overlord wasn’t exactly the straightest thinking guy around so thinking up what would be a funny joke he sent off Kell with a company of Prinnies to take over an opposing Overlord’s castle and promptly waited for the slaughter to start.
Bits: What happened next was like...wow I can’t believe that just happened.
Simon: I thought that guy was dead Prinny meat.
Prinny: I was just thinking glad it wasn’t me.
As many would likely and rightfully believe Kell and his small company were going to be sent on to the meat grinder some of them literally since the opposing Overlord a shark demon by the name of Reefington had a special taste for Prinny flesh.
One year passed after the fateful order a year that Overlord FreakingAwesome0 would soon regret.
Not only did Kell return he reported that not only did he manage to successfully return but he reported that he had not only taken over the castle, had taken out Reefington and conquered his ENTIRE LAND!
Bits: When I first heard I was thinking “Get out of here with that weak ass s**t”
It was hard to believe until a local Mothman arrived at FreakingAwesome0 doorstep confirming what Kell said was true. This of course rocketed the Prinny up to star status around the Netherworld.
But the real question was how had the level five Prinny taken down an Overlord nearly three times his size and fifteen times his level?
Kell was no fool as he knew the journey itself would be dangerous enough for his meager squad and true enough by the time Kell reached the borders of
Reefington’s lands all but one of his squad had been wiped out.
Interviewee: Prinkle-Old friend
Prinkle: I was just glad we were alive at that point. I was all for just falling off the face of the map and letting that jerk of an Overlord think we were dead.
But Kell wasn’t having any of that.
Shuu: Working with Kell what did you make of him?
Prinkle: At first I that he was bats**t crazy for going through with that mission but when you looked in his eyes you just knew he was going to do something crazy that just might work.
And that plan was probably the craziest in all of Netherworld history. Kell actually hired himself out to Reefington to get close to the demon to learn his weaknesses while Prinkle would scout around in the cities and generally stir up unrest.
Shuu: What did you think of Kell hiring himself to Reefington?
Prinkle: I thought it was nuts but he told me that he wouldn’t risk having me do it since it was his idea.
Shuu: What did you say to that?
Prinkle: He was insane.
So started Kell’s six-month undercover work Reefington recognized the Prinnys’ talent and frequently invited him to his feasts that he held often. One popular theory that Reefington was fattening Kell up to eat himself; if this has any weight to it at all we may never know.
Shuu: What I don’t get is why did you follow Kell’s orders at all?
Prinkle: He threatened to kick my ass, throw me to some aqua demons and let them chew on my corpse, make them vomit me back up then kick my ass again for good measure.
Shuu: You believed him?
Prinkle: I heard what he did back at the old castle. When you hear about a guy blowing up like 50 guys without throwing a single punch you don’t question him you listen.
What Reefington didn’t know that Kell had bribed the chef to regularly poison the Overlords’ food an easy task regarding the large amount that the shark ate.
Prinkle: *laughs* I’m surprised that nobody tried it earlier I mean he ate like 500 something pounds for freaking breakfast!
After the six months had passed a generally common thing happened in Reefington’s land which was a revolt. Now the shark was no stranger to using force to put down revolts but when he was about to lay some serious smackdown he got a nasty surprise.
Prinkle: You should have seen the look on that overgrown fish’s face. A red mage; a NEW red mage hit him with a fire spell and hacked off like a third of his health!
What was the reason for the Overlords sudden weakness? Kell already knew that regular poison wouldn’t work on an Overlord so he had a special poison made that would lower the Overlords stats and sp rather than his health.
Bits: When you think about it that was pretty damn smart. I mean if it was just his health one heal spell then boom good as new.
Of course the now nearly powerless Overlord retreated into his castle hoping that his vassals would deal with the problem but they had already turned traitor as well most eying the throne. It wasn’t long before he ran into Kell but being paranoid thought Kell had it in for him too until Kell took out one of the demons aiming to take the throne.
Prinkle: Kell was never too clear about what happened after that. He just starts chuckling real dark-like and says that it was fun.
All morbid thoughts aside when the revolters finally managed to break down the door to the castle Kell had already dispatched the Overlord and promptly rose to level 126.
Prinkle: When I saw that I was thinking no freaking way. The crazy bastard had actually pulled it off!
But troubles weren’t over for the Prinnies as the resulting power vacuum for the throne was soon to follow but the now very powerful Prinny had already thought of that as well.
Simon: I don’t have all the details myself but what I heard is that after the Overlord was dead Kell told them that the new Overlord was issuing a challenge to all hopefuls for the throne. Needless to say all those demon lords fell for it hook, line and sinker. I mean who would blame them despite his abnormal level of power for a Prinny there was no way he would lie to a bunch of demon lords that could cause him great bodily harm if he was lying right? Ha the suckers.
Prinkle: Now I actually know what happened next Kell lead all of them to some kind of chamber in the castle basement locked them in while saying that the Overlord would show up soon. What happened next was freaking incredible.
Kell had made some dealings on the side himself hiring several powerful Star mages with embezzled money from the late Reefington. Ordering them to stand in a Magician’s Circle to amplify their power then on his mark lobbed as many Tera Star spells they could muster.
Prinkle: I happened to walk down there with Kell when he gave the order. They lit that place up like a the fourth of July!
Kell figured that the only spell that no monster or humanoid demon had a natural defense against was Star magic and it worked frighteningly well.
Prinny: Poor bastards never knew what hit them. What I heard is that Kell put a No entry Geo Panel in there with a Deathstrike Geo.
Weather this is true or not is up for debate but what is known is that not a single Demon lord that was in opposition to the new regime didn’t live to see the dawn.
Bits: After I heard that that Prinny had my respect right then and there. That was absoleulty the biggest display of asskickery I had ever seen in my life. Believe me I’ve seen a lot of asskickery in my life.
Within a single night Kell had wiped out not only the Overlord but had also dispatched any future opposition that would challenge that rule. Once a few more months of reestablishing some order after the takeover the two
Prinnies rode back in style.
Prinkle: As we rode back to the old castle I called Kell the craziest bastard I had ever known in this life and my old one.
Shuu: What he say to that?
Prinkle: He just laughed and said that he was just glad I had stuck with him the entire time. After that we started…well becoming friends.
That day one of the greatest friendships in the Netherworld was established one that would hold to present day.
When everything was all said and done Kell returned to serving Overlord FreakingAwesome0 after quietly reincarnating into a Captain level Prinny.
Bits: Me and Kell? Well we started talking a little after he came back. When he showed me that scarf of his I thought he was nuts and capes were all the rage. If you couldn’t figure it out by know I was a child of the 90’s
Shuu: 1990s?
Bits: No, about the actually 90s you know like 91 92 etc.
Shuu: Wow.
FreakingAwesome0 may have been an eccentric Overlord but he wasn’t a stupid one. He was one of the few not to underestimate the Prinny and Kell knew that. So obviously the plant demon had to go.
But how was Kell going to accomplish this amazing feet? It was obvious that the trick he pulled on Reefington would not work twice even though most of the demons in FreakingAwesome0 realm would have revolted if Kell so much as thought about it. It also wouldn’t work since the Overlord ate through Photosynthesis.
Simon: I really didn’t even think the little guy could pull it off. As much as I hated the guy FreakingAwesome0 was a smart guy which is exactly why I hated him.
Shuu: *Rolls eyes* I can relate
Simon: Whose smarter then you?
Shuu once again looks past Simon at Blaze who is glaring at him with a “Go there and Burn” look.
Shuu: Nevermind.
So the stalemate began that would last about thirty years. At first FreakingAwesome0 tried sending Kell on dangerous-never-to-return missions in hopes of having him killed in battle but the tenacious Prinny returned time again using his smarts rather than his brawn to complete his missions growing all the stronger the while. What makes things worse on FA0’s end was that Kell had no plans of overthrowing his Overlord .
Simon: I nearly crapped myself when he told me. I mean that Overlord was a freaking tool but Kell brought up that stupid honor thing again. I get a headache just thinking about it.
Unfortunatly the Overlord started growing paranoid about a revolt that was never going to come and when the opportunity presented itself to hurt Kell as deeply as possible presented itself FA0 took it. It was going to be the second to last mistake the Overlord would ever make.
Enter Cat Saber Mina a demon that had recently opened a weapon shop and Kell had walked in to buy some new Prinny blades since he had broken his last set off in the teeth of a Skull Dragon.
Bits: Even I don’t like messing around with those guys. They just soak up hits like nobody’s business. Kell went up to it and kicked its ass so hard that it reincarnated into ghost so Kell wouldn’t come looking for him. I’m serious go look for him he’s got no reason to lie for me.
Though this alleged ghost couldn’t be reached for comment we are getting off topic.
Simon: I didn’t even think that demons could fall in love. The occasional booty call maybe but love no never crossed my mind.
Prinkle: Oh my god those were one of the hardest years of my life. You ever hear a Prinny and a Cat Saber go at it? It is not pretty but she was a good kid.
Needless to say the two demons hit it off quite well of course getting discounts at the weapon shop was always a plus but the two were geniuenly in love and enjoyed their relationship for a few years before that demon called Fu-Q decided to give Kell a long overdue bitch-slap across the beak.
Prinkle: You know…what that guy did…ain’t know excuse no demon deserves *sniff* what Hina got. Sorry I need a sec…
FA0 paranoia had reached new heights when Kell announced his engagement to Hina and that’s when the Overlord saw the opportunity to strike at his foe. He sent Kell off on a mission to quell a supposed uprising far north. When Kell was away FA0 had Hina kidnapped brutally tortured to the point of insanity, forced reincarnation into the strongest form of Nekomata, and forcefully fed her Red Demon Flowers (Those familiar with Cave Story should know the level of screw over these cause) for good measure. When Kell got back the Overlord fooled him into thinking his love interest was a rampaging Demon Lord aiming to take over the throne. Needless to say Kell did his job like he would do any other job with extreme efficacy.
Simon: Now I’m probably the last guy who should be saying this but even I thought what he did was cruel! I mean damn there was no need to do that to the girl damn.
It is unclear how Kell realized the demon was his girlfriend some say that Overlord told Kell himself, other say that one of the tortureist let it slip though one popular in a tragic romantic kind of way was that Hina right before she drew her last breath told Kell she still loved him.
Bits: I don’t know if it’s true or not but I always fall to pieces when I here stuff like that. Excuse me *Honnnkkkk!*
Whatever story is true Kell eventually put two and two together and the result was a very pissed off penguin.
Prinkle: Angry? Naw, angry doesn’t even begin to describe what Kell was feeling. I think if you took the world’s angriest people fused them together threw in Chuck Norris for good measure Kell would still show up rip off his arms beat him with it then proceed to do it with his legs before Pringer Beaming his sorry ass into next week three times over and Kell would still be mad.
What happened next confused a lot of demons as Kell didn’t go on a bloody unstoppable rampage like most would have but he continued his services for FA0. As you can imagine a lot of demons were scratching their heads at this. This strange behavior seemed to spur FA0 paranoria to new heights as why the Prinny would continue to work for him. Didn’t he want vengeance?
Simon: Oh that Prinny wanted revenge alright but he did it like he did everything he did the smart way I’ll tell you what.
Kell figured that FA0 was expecting an attack from him so he did the simple thing and didn’t attack at all figuring the problem would take care of itself sooner or later and true to the Prinny’s thoughts the opportunity presented itself.
Bits: Guy was so paranoid about taking out Kell he probably did the stupidest thing imaginable.
Shuu: What happened?
Bits: He gave Kell a bunch of soldiers that felt bad for him then proceeded to throw a big party.
The event was a bi-monthly party that FA0 threw just to show off his riches and power though do to his increased anxiety attacks about Kell he didn’t attend himself. Kell as well as several other demons were employed to act as bodyguards at the party. That was the moment Kell choose to strike.
Prinkle: It was actually pretty simple really while the squad would create a distraction at the party Kell would sneak up to FA0 chambers and take’em out.
Shuu: Let me guess things didn’t go one-hundred percent.
Prinkle: Oh yeah.
Even with the calming allure of the party FA0 was still paranoid about an attempt on his life. It was getting so bad that he started blaming others as well and that night he snapped.
Bits: Bloke ripped apart his entire harem never seen so many bloody chunks in one spot too. Kell had his work cut out for him.
It was true when Kell arrived the raving mad Overlord was already ready and waiting and Kell found himself in one of the biggest struggles of his life. The Overlord was powerful but his battles with his harem and already left him tired and his madness made him sloppy points that Kell was quick to take to his advantage. Blow after blow he landed dodging around thorny vines and the violent winds that Overlord conjured. Despite his weaknesses the Overlord didn’t go down easily not only did he have his monster skills but he had several powerfuls spells from his days as a Galaxy Skull and Kell did not dodge around them all unscathed.
Simon: You can well imagine that when the fighting started the crap hit the fan as the weaker demons got the hell out while some of the stronger ones started making bets about who would win in the end.
Shuu: I thought most of the demons were on Kell’s side?
Simon: They were but a demon isn’t going to pass a chance to make some extra cash. I bet against Kell myself.
Shuu: Why?!
Simon: Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t that I thought he would lose with his track record I just chose the route that would get the most money.
Shuu: What if Kell lost?
Simon: *Shrugs* I would have killed them all and taken the money anyway.
Shuu: Oy
Simon: Nah, but I don’t know. It was all on whim, I guess. I don’t really recall why I bet on him.
Shuu: *sigh* So how did it end? Kell won, right?
Simon: Sorta. . .
Shuu: What do you mean?
FA0’s blind fury really got the best of Kell. Kell was all, but depleted of his magical power, and the overlords whips caused some grevious injuries. I never seen a prinny cut up like that. . . uh, well, I never seen a prinny still alive cut up like that.
Shuu: Yeah, but we’re fully aware Kell was no ordinary Prinny then.
Simon: Put it this way, it was the first time anyone saw Kell bleeding. You could say it was the last to.
So Kell was running on fumes, and his injuries were just getting worse. When I think about it, all of us was really enjoying the brawl, but it began to tug at your emotions. Even for demons everyone knew at this point it was like
torture. I started to rethink my bet.
Shuu: Preparing to get into a little scuffle of your own then.
Simon: I’m no scrub, I could take all those flora beasts, succubus’s, orcs or whatevers.
Shuu: I’m sure. . .
Simon: Nah, but I guess you could say things happened rather differently. Not what anyone would expect anyways.
Shuu: What do you mean?
FA0 tossed Kell about the castle real good, tearing things up, but Kell just would not give. That Prinny was tough. He still had the energy to attack, but somehow you could say Kell wasn’t really attacking FA0 anymore. I mean everyone saw it that day, but it wasn’t readily apparent. The overlords insanity was breaking with each attack and strike. I mean it looked like he was winning, but in reality the guy was crumbling from the inside. He started getting real reckless, like some old drunk. The guy started attacking everybody.
Shuu: Damn.
Simon: Ha. . .if he won he was doing my dirty work anyways. I be looting the corpses. So you know, I got out of dodge before he would unleash that unbridled insanity on me.
Shuu: Geh.
Simon: Uh, well. . . .I don’t know what happened after that.
In fact no demon bore witness what Kell accomplished that night and any demons that were around didn’t survive the attack.
Bits: It was a freaking light show man the castle literally blew up and one side it was these crazy black flames and another some freaking crystal was forming all over the place. That s*** nearly got me too.
They say that the flames burned for nearly a fortnight and the crystal nearly covered the entire western side of the kingdom when both finally stopped the demons started moving into the castle some to loot the remains of the castle, others to find out exactly what the hell happened then to loot.
Prinkle: I owed it to him you know fitting end to bury a good friend of mine you know.
Shuu: Then to take everything that isn’t nailed down yeah real honorable.
Prinkle: Christ when you say it like that it does.
Shuu: So what happened to Kell?
Prinkle: I was getting to that.
Kell was found in the remains of the throne room in real bad shape. His body was covered in lacerations and more than one body part was not at the right angle. The now deceased Overlord was in far worse shape.
Bits: I was thinking WTFH
Shuu: ?
Bits: Oh come on you don’t even know that one?
Shuu: I’m a hermit when it comes to the internet sue me.
Simon: I was just thinking how much I could get for it.
The Overlord seemed to be held in a prison of crystal were an eternal black flame ravaged him though his physical body was long since dead his soul couldn’t escape to reincarnate so FA0 was doomed to eternal torment.
Prinkle: When I saw that I was like good freaking god I’m glad I wasn’t on the receiving end of whatever Kell did to him.
Kell was picked up (almost as an afterthought) and sent a good few months in the Netherworld’s capable if brutal hands.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
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File Size 60 kB
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