So there I am, minding my own business, when some large feline walks up to me, and tells me "They say you possums are trashcats, but you don't look like trash right now. Let me fix that for you."

And so, here I am, twisted and crumpled up like a piece of old paper. Of course this wouldn't be so bad if he had the courtesy of tossing me into an alleyway and not just leaving me lying on the sidewalk for just anyone to see and make fun of my current situation.