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A submission for this weeks Thursday Prompt: Smort Smart.
Smart is a nice thing, it's always good to have something you know and even better when you know alot on it...
Maybe one would question what's better: to know a lot of one thing or know bits of many things?
To be conventionally smart or soically smart. To understand Linux or understand cold fusion...
"Madam I am a programmer not a linguist!" - This statement may relate to this story.
But enough on that, please enjoy this rambling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“This better work nerd” The hyena ordered as she loomed over the mits while her smaller aardwolf Lieutenant parroted “yeah nerd, it better work”, his tone was lighter and grading though the small mouse showed no concern as he readjusted his oversized glasses.
“Of course it shall work” the mits called clear and confident though he seemingly had no right to be. When the pirates captured his transport trundling through space they thought themselves taken for a fool with how much it lacked. At first they jostled between just tossing the mouse out the airlock or adding him to the next stew but the mouse protested in almost arrogant disgust.
“Kill me! The greatest mind this side of Tellmin belt? Well if that’s what you wish” he was jarringly defiant more seemingly disgusted that people would kill him rather than us his knowledge. That seemed to save him as Tex’s interest was peaked... He made AI, ugh...
If there was one thing Tex’s hated, she hated AI; her customers didn’t pay big money for it and no pirate worth their credit would take the lead from ones and zeros.
But the mits clarified; he made supportive AI, so called SMORT AI...SMORT.
“You’re taking the piss” Tex had said as the mits was coding away on a dusty terminal in the captains piecemeal ship, but he defended his creation.
“How dare you, my SMORT AI is leading tec, you can code them to access a set of databases and after complying the collective information it will generate you a solution to achieve the goal it is designed for”.
Supposedly it would be the perfect answer machine. An AI that could take any request within its field and then would generate a perfected response giving its user a set of instruction that would lead them to what they desired.
Tex’s order was simple “I want it to help me make the bread”. Things had been quiet and if this mouse could build her an AI that could advise on the best way to bring in the green then maybe it and he would be worthwhile.
“Make the bread” the mouse nodded his head acceptingly “Just give me a few hours”...
Well the time was up and Tex and her compadre re-entered the room. They were met with the mits confidently sitting next to the terminal. “Is it ready?” she asked.
“Aye it’s more than ready” the mits replied.
Now they were back in the present with strings of code running down the computer screen before finally stopping, refreshing and *pop* a minimalist face with two vertical lines for eyes and a single straight line for a mouth, it spoke in an expected tone.
/I are Kyle, SMORT AI, what be order?/ the grammar clearly needed work but the mits was sitting there with his arms folded and a smug look as if he was so proud of what he had created. “There you go Captain; Kyle is ready for your order”.
The hyena just looked at the mouse with completely dispirited expression; this had been a complete waste of time hadn’t it? But she was in to deep to just break the mouse and this stupid terminal.
“Kyle, how can I make the bread?” she ordered but the machine didn’t respond, the mits quickly jumped in “ah you need to type the order in, there’s no mic connected”.
Tex groaned with annoyance before typing into the terminal: /Make bread/
Kyle stayed quiet for a moment a small hour glass appearing at the bottom of the face before it began to talk:
Aye Ma’am, to make bread you will require: 500g flour, 2 tsp salt, 7g yeast, 3 tbsp olive oil and 300ml water.
-To begin: mix flour, salt and yeast into a large bowl.
-Following this make a hole in the centre of the mix and add to it the olive oil and water.
-Continue to mix until dough is formed; if the dough is stiff add a small amount of water.
-Then, place this dough onto a floured surface and begin to knead for 10 mins.
-Once kneaded place the dough into an oiled bowl, cover and leave to rise for an hour.
-When the dough has risen; remove it from the bowl and knead again to knock out excess air and then mould into a ball.
-Place this ball onto a baking tray that has been lined with baking paper.
-Leave it for another hour to double in size and set your oven to 220C, 200C fan or Gas mark 7.
-Once this is done dust the loaf with extra flour and cut across the top.
-Finally, place the dough into the oven for 25 – 30 mins until golden brown or until the bread makes a hollow sound when tapped.
-Please remember to leave it too cool and enjoy...
The little face gave a small smile and then flicked back to a blank expression... The mits was sitting their quite proudly, arms still folded though he had to break his posture as his glasses started to slide from his face.
Tex was just standing there glaring into the screen, her expression now deadpan. “You like?” the mouse question “I can tell you’re pretty surprised, my SMORT AI’s tend do that to people”.
Tex’s head slowly twisted around as she looked at this little mouse, a slight frustrated vibration starting and building till she exploded with a shout of “what the hell is this!”
The mouse gave only the slightest jump before quickly readjusting his glasses again. “What?” he said back dumfounded, “you wanted an AI that could make bread and here it is the perfect bread making AI”
Tex’s eyes widened with a stupefied realisation; “money, I meant bread as in money you moron” the hyena clasped both hands to her face as if to keep it from exploding in face of such thick headness. How could one be smart enough to build and AI and yet soft enough to not know that bread in this context was in reference to money.
“Who in their right mind just wants a stupid machine that knows how to make bread!” She continued to shout but the mouse was quick to start calling back in defence of his creation.
“How dare you, Kyle is an amazingly intelligent SMORT AI he is the perfect bread maker; his database contains the perfected recipe for any baked bread based good, hell if you were to give him a body he could make bread that would put any baker to shame!” He twisted his head away like some artist who was not receiving the proper credit they felt entitled to or like one who was snubbing a completely ignorant interpretation of their work.
Tex’s could only shake her head but as she looked over to her compadre he seemed to bob about with an accepting look; might not have been what they wanted but he wasn’t complaining... Well least someone was happy.
The hyena just drew her hand disappointedly down her muzzle before letting out a sigh and clarifying her request to the mouse...
“I want a money maker or a ‘SMORT AI’ that can help me make money” she said that talking to the wall as if ready to snap if she had to keep looking at that face. Though as she turned around to look at the mits this time around he just had a look of confusion...
“I can’t do that”.
“What?” the yeen just dropped the word like all of fucks and shits and everything she could give had been used. Tex was very much done with this situation.
“I can’t just make a money machine; that’s not how my SMORT AI works...” ah, said like a true mits with no senses of self preservation.
“What...” the yeen spoke with a surprisingly meek tone now, but that did not incline a shrinking. No instead it signalled the strain that was being placed on the last bit of sanity she had left.
“What about a piracy aid?” Tex spoke with the simplest, plain tone, making sure to leave no chance of confusion or misinterpretation.
The mits leaned back tapping a finger on his nose before quickly needing to readjust his glasses as they tried to fall off one last time... “I can’t... Am smart, but I ain’t a miracle worker.”
That’s it...
The clink of glasses helped to wonderfully punctuate the quiet moment. It was a wild hour just before but now everything was settled and Tex wasted no time in knocking back her double whiskey. That was pleasantly followed by the wonderfully scents of fresh bread as the baked loaf was put down on the table. “Might be useless for much else but it’s good at what it’s made for” the aardwolf said with a smile as he sat down.
An AI with an intense knowledge of bread and bread related products, such a specific field but least it was good at it.
“You’re welcome Lt. I have prepared a list of recommend recipes for you to assess when you have the time”, they decide to hook up a mic to the terminal; it worked surprisingly well.
“I love this thing; might not be able to make us money but it’s got some God damn good recipes... We need to kidnap more of those brainiacs” he went on happily but Tex just grumbled.
“If we pick another one up we’re not getting one like that; can’t stand talking to a brick wall” she continued to grumble but she was finally forced to crack some kind of smile as her lieutenant slid over some slices of fresh bread. “Maybe wasn’t the smartest capture but am happy about this addition” she had to admit it now.
“Yeah you could say it wasn’t the smortest capture” the aardwolf mumbled as he sliced himself some bread pausing for a moment as he looked up to his captain and her now plain PTSD fevered expression.
That word would be a devil’s word now; never to be uttered in her presences again.
“If you keep using that term I’ll fucking smort you” the yeen grumbled her slightly pleasant moment gone.
The lieutenant just rolled his eyes finally sliding over a generously sized bowl of steaming, homely looking stew. That finally brought a smile back to her face; no better way to end a day and improve her mood: fresh bread and mits stew.
Now that was some smort thinking...
Smart is a nice thing, it's always good to have something you know and even better when you know alot on it...
Maybe one would question what's better: to know a lot of one thing or know bits of many things?
To be conventionally smart or soically smart. To understand Linux or understand cold fusion...
"Madam I am a programmer not a linguist!" - This statement may relate to this story.
But enough on that, please enjoy this rambling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“This better work nerd” The hyena ordered as she loomed over the mits while her smaller aardwolf Lieutenant parroted “yeah nerd, it better work”, his tone was lighter and grading though the small mouse showed no concern as he readjusted his oversized glasses.
“Of course it shall work” the mits called clear and confident though he seemingly had no right to be. When the pirates captured his transport trundling through space they thought themselves taken for a fool with how much it lacked. At first they jostled between just tossing the mouse out the airlock or adding him to the next stew but the mouse protested in almost arrogant disgust.
“Kill me! The greatest mind this side of Tellmin belt? Well if that’s what you wish” he was jarringly defiant more seemingly disgusted that people would kill him rather than us his knowledge. That seemed to save him as Tex’s interest was peaked... He made AI, ugh...
If there was one thing Tex’s hated, she hated AI; her customers didn’t pay big money for it and no pirate worth their credit would take the lead from ones and zeros.
But the mits clarified; he made supportive AI, so called SMORT AI...SMORT.
“You’re taking the piss” Tex had said as the mits was coding away on a dusty terminal in the captains piecemeal ship, but he defended his creation.
“How dare you, my SMORT AI is leading tec, you can code them to access a set of databases and after complying the collective information it will generate you a solution to achieve the goal it is designed for”.
Supposedly it would be the perfect answer machine. An AI that could take any request within its field and then would generate a perfected response giving its user a set of instruction that would lead them to what they desired.
Tex’s order was simple “I want it to help me make the bread”. Things had been quiet and if this mouse could build her an AI that could advise on the best way to bring in the green then maybe it and he would be worthwhile.
“Make the bread” the mouse nodded his head acceptingly “Just give me a few hours”...
Well the time was up and Tex and her compadre re-entered the room. They were met with the mits confidently sitting next to the terminal. “Is it ready?” she asked.
“Aye it’s more than ready” the mits replied.
Now they were back in the present with strings of code running down the computer screen before finally stopping, refreshing and *pop* a minimalist face with two vertical lines for eyes and a single straight line for a mouth, it spoke in an expected tone.
/I are Kyle, SMORT AI, what be order?/ the grammar clearly needed work but the mits was sitting there with his arms folded and a smug look as if he was so proud of what he had created. “There you go Captain; Kyle is ready for your order”.
The hyena just looked at the mouse with completely dispirited expression; this had been a complete waste of time hadn’t it? But she was in to deep to just break the mouse and this stupid terminal.
“Kyle, how can I make the bread?” she ordered but the machine didn’t respond, the mits quickly jumped in “ah you need to type the order in, there’s no mic connected”.
Tex groaned with annoyance before typing into the terminal: /Make bread/
Kyle stayed quiet for a moment a small hour glass appearing at the bottom of the face before it began to talk:
Aye Ma’am, to make bread you will require: 500g flour, 2 tsp salt, 7g yeast, 3 tbsp olive oil and 300ml water.
-To begin: mix flour, salt and yeast into a large bowl.
-Following this make a hole in the centre of the mix and add to it the olive oil and water.
-Continue to mix until dough is formed; if the dough is stiff add a small amount of water.
-Then, place this dough onto a floured surface and begin to knead for 10 mins.
-Once kneaded place the dough into an oiled bowl, cover and leave to rise for an hour.
-When the dough has risen; remove it from the bowl and knead again to knock out excess air and then mould into a ball.
-Place this ball onto a baking tray that has been lined with baking paper.
-Leave it for another hour to double in size and set your oven to 220C, 200C fan or Gas mark 7.
-Once this is done dust the loaf with extra flour and cut across the top.
-Finally, place the dough into the oven for 25 – 30 mins until golden brown or until the bread makes a hollow sound when tapped.
-Please remember to leave it too cool and enjoy...
The little face gave a small smile and then flicked back to a blank expression... The mits was sitting their quite proudly, arms still folded though he had to break his posture as his glasses started to slide from his face.
Tex was just standing there glaring into the screen, her expression now deadpan. “You like?” the mouse question “I can tell you’re pretty surprised, my SMORT AI’s tend do that to people”.
Tex’s head slowly twisted around as she looked at this little mouse, a slight frustrated vibration starting and building till she exploded with a shout of “what the hell is this!”
The mouse gave only the slightest jump before quickly readjusting his glasses again. “What?” he said back dumfounded, “you wanted an AI that could make bread and here it is the perfect bread making AI”
Tex’s eyes widened with a stupefied realisation; “money, I meant bread as in money you moron” the hyena clasped both hands to her face as if to keep it from exploding in face of such thick headness. How could one be smart enough to build and AI and yet soft enough to not know that bread in this context was in reference to money.
“Who in their right mind just wants a stupid machine that knows how to make bread!” She continued to shout but the mouse was quick to start calling back in defence of his creation.
“How dare you, Kyle is an amazingly intelligent SMORT AI he is the perfect bread maker; his database contains the perfected recipe for any baked bread based good, hell if you were to give him a body he could make bread that would put any baker to shame!” He twisted his head away like some artist who was not receiving the proper credit they felt entitled to or like one who was snubbing a completely ignorant interpretation of their work.
Tex’s could only shake her head but as she looked over to her compadre he seemed to bob about with an accepting look; might not have been what they wanted but he wasn’t complaining... Well least someone was happy.
The hyena just drew her hand disappointedly down her muzzle before letting out a sigh and clarifying her request to the mouse...
“I want a money maker or a ‘SMORT AI’ that can help me make money” she said that talking to the wall as if ready to snap if she had to keep looking at that face. Though as she turned around to look at the mits this time around he just had a look of confusion...
“I can’t do that”.
“What?” the yeen just dropped the word like all of fucks and shits and everything she could give had been used. Tex was very much done with this situation.
“I can’t just make a money machine; that’s not how my SMORT AI works...” ah, said like a true mits with no senses of self preservation.
“What...” the yeen spoke with a surprisingly meek tone now, but that did not incline a shrinking. No instead it signalled the strain that was being placed on the last bit of sanity she had left.
“What about a piracy aid?” Tex spoke with the simplest, plain tone, making sure to leave no chance of confusion or misinterpretation.
The mits leaned back tapping a finger on his nose before quickly needing to readjust his glasses as they tried to fall off one last time... “I can’t... Am smart, but I ain’t a miracle worker.”
That’s it...
The clink of glasses helped to wonderfully punctuate the quiet moment. It was a wild hour just before but now everything was settled and Tex wasted no time in knocking back her double whiskey. That was pleasantly followed by the wonderfully scents of fresh bread as the baked loaf was put down on the table. “Might be useless for much else but it’s good at what it’s made for” the aardwolf said with a smile as he sat down.
An AI with an intense knowledge of bread and bread related products, such a specific field but least it was good at it.
“You’re welcome Lt. I have prepared a list of recommend recipes for you to assess when you have the time”, they decide to hook up a mic to the terminal; it worked surprisingly well.
“I love this thing; might not be able to make us money but it’s got some God damn good recipes... We need to kidnap more of those brainiacs” he went on happily but Tex just grumbled.
“If we pick another one up we’re not getting one like that; can’t stand talking to a brick wall” she continued to grumble but she was finally forced to crack some kind of smile as her lieutenant slid over some slices of fresh bread. “Maybe wasn’t the smartest capture but am happy about this addition” she had to admit it now.
“Yeah you could say it wasn’t the smortest capture” the aardwolf mumbled as he sliced himself some bread pausing for a moment as he looked up to his captain and her now plain PTSD fevered expression.
That word would be a devil’s word now; never to be uttered in her presences again.
“If you keep using that term I’ll fucking smort you” the yeen grumbled her slightly pleasant moment gone.
The lieutenant just rolled his eyes finally sliding over a generously sized bowl of steaming, homely looking stew. That finally brought a smile back to her face; no better way to end a day and improve her mood: fresh bread and mits stew.
Now that was some smort thinking...
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 118 x 120px
File Size 20.5 kB
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