Well, you have a good style and strength in first person. The story is heavily dialogue driven, balance needs to be fleshed out with descriptions and details that help bring scenes to life for an audience. However, when you do have description it is really strong. A beginning is a important thing as it attracts the readers attention. Opening with dialogue can be good, but the separated block takes from the flow and does not establish depth to character or event.
First person also causes a catch-22 with lose in character. Give more depth and description of your character traits to breath some life into them and cause their face to be known to an audience.
Good luck with the rest.

first off, thanks for reading it. literature seems to be a very minuscule part of this but is the only thing i'm good at. second, his full description is in the next part