TW// suicide
i didnt know what to call this one. mostly did it so i can get things off my chest, i dont know.

something that i've been thinking about for a bit now, but i cant do it for multiple reason, i dont wanna give up, i cant give up. i dont wanna give in, even if the pain is still there even if its hurting, a lot, i cant give up. so i just wanna make that clear. now why am i thinking about it? truth is i'm not really sure. it feels lonely, still feels like i dont belong, even when people tell me that i do. i dont know why i dont feel it. i try and spend time with people, i try and talk to friends, but its still there, it hurts. i dont know how to explain it. i've vented before but lately it's honestly been so hard to talk about. and there's still a lot on my mind but i cant get it out. all i can say is. i'm still alive...that should be enough right?