I'm actually quite amazed at how well this came out for only taking me a couple hours. I NEVER work that fast, and I NEVER freehand my drawings these days.. but I actually managed to do both. I guess I caught a glimpse of what it's like to be a true artist.. just letting your emotions flow through your brush.. nothing but you and the canvas.. Purity.

I at least managed to hold off crying until I was actually done this time.

a part of you, as unpleasant as it may be. Though it may never go away, it is simply a small part. Outshined by the rest of your vibrant being.

You're always so sweet to me.. I don't even know what to say other than thank you..

the thanks is appreciated.

Snow B.A.R. Leopardcess is in total understanding with you two. Everyone has a scar in one forme or another - Snow Leopy's creator, browningm1895, has a lot of scars, of which browningm1895 is still dealing with them, EVEN TODAY.

oh, erm, alright.

Sorry for going into a part of Snow B.A.R. Leopardcess' creator, browningm1895's personal life. It's that just this reminds of Snow Leopy's creators' life's choices, and this poor Glass Fury... I-I-I... c-c-can't... f-f-find... a-any... wo-wor-words... t-to-to... e-ex-explain... ho-how... much-ch-ch... p-p-pain......

...

*Paints black over your chest with a big paintbrush to cover up the mark*
*wags tail*

Awh.. such a cutie.
*Looks down at your work with a melancholy smile.*

Thank you, sweetie. It looks beautiful.
*Reaches up with a paw and caresses your cheek.

Hey, Trail-Of-Scales... Why don't you consider contacting Snow B.A.R. Leopardcess, as she can help you heal that scar on your chest? Now normally Snow Leopy would charge you a fee for her services, but she will charge you NOTHING for her services!! Both you AND Snow Leopy have scars, albeit we are not from the SAME animal groups. She can make that scar go away for you, Trail-Of-Scales, if you like.

I do very much appreciate that offer, but it was put there for a reason, however upsetting it may be. And even though it is a painful--and maybe regrettable--reminder, it's a part of who I am, and I would like for it to stay. But thank you for that kind consideration.

Snow B.A.R. Leopardcess understands you completely. In case you decide to have your "X" removed, Snow Leopy will keep the offer for you, right through the end of time.

I don't have much room to say anything regarding some of your past decisions, I plainly didn't know who you were by the time we had met over a year ago nowadays. I do know the person who you are now, and the decisions you can make for your future... despite what you've done in the past. I know that sometimes the memories spring back when you try to step on them too. I'm glad you freehanded this art Fahren, it shows more of your personality, it shows you're unique, and It shows you're knot perfect. You have to decide Racederg, like you've been doing recently, to let the past be more of a gentle reminder rather than this immense burden. You gotta live your best life bud, I know you can :3

I couldn't have said that any better.

Fahren, hun. I understand how you feel. But the thing is that you have to remember, is that the past cannot be changed, as sad as it is. Basically, it happened. What matters now is to keep your life on track, and hope for the future. I'm sure your future is bright~ <3

Also sorry if I didn't write much, I only just woke up, haha.

To be perfectly honest, "who I was" I basically wasn't any different to who I am now. I think the only thing that's changed in that regard is that, now that I'm 26, my brain has reached physical maturity, I can now consider the consequences of my actions before I make them, and I now have proper control my emotions.

What I did, however, yes, definitely has changed me; admittedly, for the better, even though I personally think it happened a little too late. Put as simply as I can: the fear and uncertainty of growing up put a lot of stress on me. That fear of the unknown and fear of never being smart enough to make it in this world manifested itself in a number of ways, but most relevant to this conversation, was my propensity to farm sympathy from my friends, especially my closest ones. I took it too far, and lost everyone I loved.

But to say I fully understand myself and to say I've learned all my lessons is very very far from the truth. Even just a couple years ago, I continued to make ridiculous mistakes that hurt the ones I loved, and that became all too apparent to me when I was doing a little cleaning of my old discord chats and re-read.. a lot of things. This mistake was one that nobody needs to be told they shouldn't make, but I just.. did it.. And that was the kind of turning point for me. For one reason or another, I've ruined every relationship I've been in, and it's really clear to me that I needed to do something to stop this. I'd locked my heart away in a cage before, but I took a chance, unlocked it, and tried one more time.. only to make--not just another mistake--but the worst one yet.

So.. it now lies permanently behind bars, and I've already taken measures to ensure that that is the way it stays.


- - -

Thank you. It was actually just about the most fun I've had drawing, well, just about ever. Maybe "fun" is the wrong word, though. More like, it was a great pleasure to draw. It felt natural. Cathartic. Yeah, that's it: Cathartic. It was really nice. And yeah, maybe I'll keep doing that. The tracing over 3D models thing was originally intended to make the process of drawing faster, but clearly, that isn't the case for me anymore, as this freehand took so much less time. To be fair, it also has like next to no detail. It's more of a glorified sketch, but honestly, if that's all I can manage while still having a good time, what's so wrong with that? We'll see moving forward. ^^

It is not the worst mistake. Everyone makes them, and everyone… everyone is forgiven. Learn and grow, do knot unnecessarily destroy yourself and lock away something sacred like your truest joy. Do what you can to find that, and don’t cut yourself short. As far as the art goes, spend more time on art. On all of my arts I spend at least 10 hours on them minimum, on average 20-22, at most 55. Art is a process and doing things speedy isn’t always the most rewarding route. And the best way to learn is to do it yourself. Just like relationships; grow and learn and develop so you do even better the next time.

One of the several quotes that Snow B.A.R. Leopardcess' creator lives by is this - And BEFORE anyone who tries to look up this quote on the internet it is NOT FROM ANY PERSON(S), I heard it from a intro of a video game:
"It is not about how face your fears, it's about how you survive them."
Words to live by, no?

There is always a path to follow, despite any hardships which may cause a tumble.

In times of darkness, one can look to the Lord, but still, it's good to have friends.

Be careful with vague platitudes, bud. Cuz I can easily say something like "well, of course there are always paths to follow, but that doesn't mean they're all good ones to be on."

Being raised as a Christian, I actually have, and still do. But in all honesty, I've seen nothing that could be attributed to divine intervention, here. I mean, I suppose you could say ANY of the good things that have happened to me are blessings from God, but then so could all of the really horrible things.. And, more importantly in my view, I feel like that actually diminishes the good wills and works of the wonderful people around me. Just like that meme of a patient looking up at the ceiling saying "Oh thank God!" after being saved by a surgeon who literally did all the work and is standing right next to them like, "bruh.. -.-" If it really was God, then who do I thank? Who SHOULD I thank? Saying "both!" just sounds ridiculous and redundant to me.

God can't do all work, won't despute that. What I meant is that regardless of any gods, it is good to have friends. I have my own opinion on God, I can tell you that in telegram if you wish.
I think you got my initial thought, though

In any case, it is never a good idea to let desperation ruin you. We all believe in you. We are always here for you, me included. Even though I may not be one of the long-lasting friends of yours, or friends with actual emotions, I am sure no worse in terms of being a good friend.

The lord works in mysterious ways.

Wow, the art is amazings, the words too...
I hope everything will go well for you

Thanks, man.

We'll.. have to see.. I can't say I'm holding out any hope, though. ><

You're welcome
and I'm sorry to hear that.. I'm sure you can find this hope

The past can, and most time will, always hurt. It's sadlt one of the worst parts of the human memory. But our dark, harmful, and depressing past can serve a purpose. To show how we have grown. To remind us to avoid our darker selves. To look at life with a new vision. I'll never know what your past self was, and I can only imagine with that scar. But all I could do now, Is give you my love and care. Forever today, forever tomorrow, and forever beyond, I will love and care for you. I mean every word that I say. I wish to hug you and hold you. I want to keep you safe. I want to make you happy. I will do everything in my power to do so. I can't change the past, but I and all of us here, can make your days onward bright and beautiful.

Heh, you could say that again. And, yeah, I'm very aware that it's all pointing toward a better end, but that's honestly not my main concern. I couldn't give a fuck about how I feel or what happens to me. Any time my life is in danger, I stand still and close my eyes because I've already made peace with my mortality and my place in this universe. But it sure as hell bothers me to think about the negative impact I've had on OTHER people's lives. Sure, I might come out of it a better person, but what about the people I scarred, both physically and mentally? What lessons are THEY gonna learn about life? What, never to open their hearts to someone they trust? Not even trust anyone to begin with? To look at the world with more cynicism? I mean, what kind of irreparable damage have I left in my wake?

Heh.. you sound so very much like me about six years ago.. All I ever wanted to do was to be a light for someone. A place someone could trust to rest their weary soul on without fear. I have failed literally every time. Forgive me if I don't feel quite as comforted by the sound of that as you'd probably have hoped, but I do absolutely take the words to heart and appreciate them nonetheless. Thank you so much.