I ended up rewriting this chapter, because the first time I wrote it I was feeling very, very horny, so it became a lot more sexual than first intended. Needless to say, i backed up and sorta went from scratch, so that it still hinted at the intimate aspect of the chapter, but didn't slam it in your face. That isn't what this story's about... but now I have to write a side story about Rose and Kyle's honeymoon, eventually x3
Constructive criticism is encouraged, praise is welcome, and if you're just gonna bash my work without saying anything useful this isn't the place for you.
Constructive criticism is encouraged, praise is welcome, and if you're just gonna bash my work without saying anything useful this isn't the place for you.
Category Story / All
Species Vulpine (Other)
Size 120 x 112px
File Size 6.3 kB
Remember the purpose of your rhetoric. The chapter had good emotional sense, yet its shortness lessens the build. To that you need to develop this out over the next couple chapters. Basically this is but a small glimpse and intermission to the larger expression of the piece. It is beautiful and it is good to that degree however.
Mm... I actually didn't realize how short it was until I posted it... that was about the time when I went "This takes up less than my screen on FA... that's... really short". It 'was' going to be longer, but... I didn't want to step into the M-rated area, not for this story. I might go back and try to fix it up, make it longer and push more into the journal...
FA+


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