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As promised, a nice clean little story for your enjoyment.
I wrote this today while sitting in the hospital room/waiting room while my mom lay ignored in bed with a massive migraine headache. The joys of our local medical systems.
I wrote this today while sitting in the hospital room/waiting room while my mom lay ignored in bed with a massive migraine headache. The joys of our local medical systems.
Category Story / All
Species Opossum
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 65 kB
The ending was very sweet! And I found the beginning quite amusing because I know a few veterans like that myself. ^_- There were two mistakes I noticed as I was reading though.
Very minor this one, but, for future reference, the spelling of the word at the end of the first paragraph is: Questionnaire. Just a heads up. ^_^
Also, I've noticed this in a number of your stories: You use the word "loose" when (I'm pretty sure) you mean to use the word "lose", as when Sarah tells the raccoon to "loose" the attitude (rather than "lose") or when Rachael asks Sarah if she is "loosing" her interest in medicine (as apposed to "losing").
Other than that, I enjoyed the story, especially one line in which you told us that Rachel was already playing her second game of Solitare after a few minutes. The line may seem pointless to other people, but I found it amazing how much characterization that one line produced. (I'm not sure if my last sentence here is correct in its application of the word "produced" in reference to characterization, but that's how I'm going to use it.)
Great job Lapso! ^_^
Very minor this one, but, for future reference, the spelling of the word at the end of the first paragraph is: Questionnaire. Just a heads up. ^_^
Also, I've noticed this in a number of your stories: You use the word "loose" when (I'm pretty sure) you mean to use the word "lose", as when Sarah tells the raccoon to "loose" the attitude (rather than "lose") or when Rachael asks Sarah if she is "loosing" her interest in medicine (as apposed to "losing").
Other than that, I enjoyed the story, especially one line in which you told us that Rachel was already playing her second game of Solitare after a few minutes. The line may seem pointless to other people, but I found it amazing how much characterization that one line produced. (I'm not sure if my last sentence here is correct in its application of the word "produced" in reference to characterization, but that's how I'm going to use it.)
Great job Lapso! ^_^
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