First! I absolutely love it, hun... You're improving with each piece... and this brought tears to my eyes the first time I read it... I love you, Xeans... with all my heart.

I love you too hun, glad I could do this for you

Thanks for reading ^..^

That was very touching. I never get tired of a good love story. There were symbols where a lot of punctuation should have been, but that may be a problem on my end.

In any case very well written, it really makes you question just how far you would go for the one you love.

Thanks for reading and faveing!

This was my first try at presenting something in .txt, I'm still learning all the little goofy formatting things about it.

you did an awesome job on this! and I'm glad you put it in .txt- apparently my comp can't handle .doc files.

I'll keep all my future stuff in .txt then ^..^.

Thanks for reading

thanks for writing

This is a nice vignette and I think that you've reached about the perfect length for how an online short story would be. It has a very wonderful theme as well, and I can pick up a sense of very real emotion from you. I have two points of criticism that I think would help your writing in the meantime, though. First, it's always better to lead the reader directly through a story rather than just telling them directly. The transition at the start from the introduction to the dialogue to the paragraph about "The Event" is a bit jarring, since we're presented the characters and then the focus is immediately taken away. It would flow much more smoothly if the paragraph was kept in a kind of personal tone or if you explained that bit about the world in a different manner.

My other bit of criticism might be more a matter of personal style, but I would try to either pace your dialogue a bit more or have a bit less of it. I know that some authors really love to have bits of story that are pure conversation but they are also people who tend to be crazy good at making conversations flow naturally (and I'm definitely not one of those). The pure dialogue parts sprinkled through the story do feel a little clunky and I think that you could easily improve them by either embracing it and working on conversation flow or to pace the dialogue a bit with descriptions, character reactions, and narration.

Thank you for sharing, and I hope this helps!

Thanks much for all of this ^..^ I really appreciate some good pointers. I'll keep all this in mind as I move on.

Thanks for reading.