This is the original version of dog boy. It is only here for archival purposes. The much more improved version can be found here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49132199/

Please do not read this version. It's not nearly as good as the revised one.



Everyone in the room was laughing as Ted followed the card, following the command to "talk like a pirate until your next turn." On the next placing of a draw card however, Wendy wimped out, and chose to draw the cards rather than her dare.

Although we were having some laughs, I was a bit disappointed with this variant of Uno that Jackie had gotten for her birthday, and wanted to play. It felt a bit gimmicky, and I was struggling to keep on a cheerful face despite wanting to play anything else. My mind thought of when Jodie had wanted to play Race For the Galaxy. Almost anything else.

"Oh dude," Ted said to me, "you -"

Someone at the table snapped their fingers.

"Oh, um, ... lad, ye got yer'self a dare."

Greg laughed as he read it out. "Act like a dog until your next turn."

I didn't respond that I was taking it or not. I just started panting, lolling my tongue out. I gave an enthusiastic "arf!" and everyone laughed.

"I suppose then," Ted said, "that you be me sea dog!"

They laughed more, and I felt the pressure to not show my embarrassment. I had to out do Ted in my commitment to the dare. He was not going to win the attention this time.

I did not simply pant with my tongue out, but I also let out some soft barks, or some growls when someone did something in the game I didn't like. I put an enthusiastic expression, and licked my nose.

"Woah!"

I suddenly was taken out of my thoughts.

"Woah," Douglas said, "did you guys see that, he just like totally touched his nose with his tongue."

I... what?

Wendy laughed, "You seriously haven't seen anyone do that before?"

She then demonstrated touching the tip of her tongue to the bottom of her nose.

Douglas shook his head. "No, like, he touched it against the front of his nose."

Everyone shot their eyes in my direction. I swallowed, and then did what I had before.

"Wha....," Jackie said with wide eyes.

"Dude... that is weird," Douglas said.

"Aye," Ted said, "it do be truly cursed."

I was about to say something in defense, but I barked out a "ruff!" instead. Because I was a dog dang it, and I was going to commit to this.

They did not laugh.

"I ave' a rondition," I said in my best scooby doo voice, "I rust' ave' a rong' rung'. Is rot a rig real."

"Oh, okay....," Greg said, laughing nervously, "moving on..."

I was impressed that they understood that gibberish. I was also impressed that they fell for the lie that I'd made up on the spot somehow. And that they had failed to notice that I had less cards in my hands then I'd had before.

They resumed playing, and I maintained my act. I felt very embarrassed from that awkward screech to a halt, but I was not going to be branded "the party pooper" again. I hated that phrase. It sounded so childish. Especially when they chanted it, because they knew that it made me angry, and then I had to put on a happy face when they started noticing my anger, and then they would -

Stop. Focus. Focus on being a dog.

Ugh.

Uno already was not my favorite game. But then when you had this many people here, all going around in a circle, making a joke about something, then it plodded along incredibly slowly. Finally it was getting to me.

And the cards fell out of the pockets of my pullover.

"What be this?" Ted proclaimed to the table, "he be no sea dog of mine, he be a... scurvy dog!"

"Dude," Douglas said, "did you seriously cheat at Uno?"

I made exaggerated puppy dog eyes.

"As host of this gathering, I declare that you must act like a dog for the remainder of the game."

Sh*t.

Well, had to stick it through. I didn't have as much attention for the rest of the game - at least not on my face. More on my "unclean hands." But occasionally, they'd glance up at me, and I'd realized that I'd done it again. I'd licked my nose.

Finally, the game ended. At last. If it were possible, I would go back in time to when the creator of the game announced "I'm going to make a game called Uno!" and I would pull out an Uno reverse card.

Okay, maybe that doesn't make any sense. I want a version of Uno where you can just say "no." Like Unstable Unicorns. Unstable Unicorns was much more fun.

"Matt," Ted got my attention, "you can stop now dude.

I sucked in my tongue. They all laughed at me, but at least it wasn't in a "I'm extremely disturbed," way.

"How about we play Unstable Unicorns," I suggested.

Jackie yawned, "if we start another game, especially that, we're going to be here till 3 in the morning."

I'd tried to teach Jackie and the other how to play it. If a bit slow that first game, all of them had had a good time. Except her. She had not yet seen the true way.

It was extremely petty, i know, but it was one of the big things that was keeping me from wanting to ask her out. I tried to follow people's advice, and show that I wanted to learn about the girls I was talking to, but rarely did they say as much as "oh my gosh I really love that movie!"

If my family wanted me to be dating more, they needed to find a girl that actually wanted to pay attention to me. In a non patronizing way.

"Well I guess we'll be seeing you guys," Douglas said.

I shook myself out of my thoughts. "No c'mon, we still have time for a short game of something.

Douglas shrugged. "Jackie and Ted have gotta go, but the rest of us could play something quick."

I did my best to prevent my inward groan from coming out. "It's fine," I said, "I should go anyway, I haven't been sleeping the best and need to stop being up late."

"Okay," Douglas said.

"See you dude," I said as I fidgeted with my car keys.

"Oh, um," Douglas came up to me, "you sure that... is alright?"

"What?" I asked, "Oh, um, that. Yeah, it's no big deal."

"Sorry if we hurt your feelings or anything," Douglas said, "but you may wanna get that checked out."

"I have," I lied again, "like I said, no biggie. The doctor said that it was perfectly fine. I've had it my whole life."

I tried to lighten the mood by letting out an "arf!" and panting again.

They laughed, thankfully with real smiling.

"Well you made a great dog," Wendy laughed.

"Yep," I laughed, "that's me, dog boy."

"Okay then," Greg said, "see you later dog boy."

The others responded in kind. That was a stupid slip of the tongue. Ugh. Pun. I hoped though honestly that I hadn't just started a nickname.

I left Douglas's house and ventured into the cold winter night. All I had was my pullover, because that's what cool kids did - freeze to death.

I quickly got into my car, and cranked up the heat, but the steering wheel was really cold. I laid back for a second.

Why on earth was my tongue long? I'd tried to touch my nose with my tongue, and before I'd been able to do it - but nothing like this.

I pulled down the visor above me, and looked in the mirror. Sure enough, my tongue was longer.

Freaky.

I pulled it up to my nose, and doing it more deliberately, I felt really uncomfortable. I could cover the whole tip of my nose with my tongue. And weirdly, that feeling you kind of get when you stretch your tongue out of your mouth, like your tongue is telling you "put me back in please I really am not supposed to be stretched out like this," -

It just wasn't there.

What feeling I did notice though - when I pulled my tongue back into my mouth, it felt... cramped. I let my tongue fall out again. Then pulled it back in.

It didn't feel cramped when I lolled it out.

I sucked it back in anyway. This is really, really weird. I hadn't taken any drugs or anything like that. Had I? I felt like my friends weren't the kind of people that would trick me into taking drugs or something. Could drugs even do that? Was there some bizarre tongue enlargement market?

I had a deep feeling of disgust, and then pulled the car away from the curb. No one should think about their tongue that much in one day, or even a month for that matter.

But I still couldn't get it out of my mind. I brushed my teeth, and scrubbed at my tongue - and thought about it all again. That morbid curiosity compelled me to pant in the mirror.

I had no idea what was causing this.

Whatever it was, it was definitely not good.



The first chapter in my new story! More to come!

Next Part: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43413494/