personal thoughts on my gender journey ahead!

ive had a very turbulent relationship with the concept of gender in my life so far, one that has left me with a lot more questions than answers and in a lot of ways has only lead to frustration. ive tried out endless labels, identities, ways of expressing myself, but a common issue ive come to realize that i encountered is that trying to fit into a certain box doesn’t work for me.

for a long time i have supported the notion that gender can be portrayed uniquely by each individual, but i never really internalized that and applied it to myself, there’s always been a part of my subconscious that spews out thoughts such as “HRT is only and explicitly for people who transition from one thing to another, and if i undergo that im invalid.” a lot of problems i have with my body i can link to dysphoria, but im not necessarily a trans woman.

for a label, i think i just fall somewhere under the nonbinary umbrella of experience, as i never am quite satisfied with specifics. im fine with any pronouns, and gendered terms don’t bother me either way. as i have to have multiple sonas to feel completely satisfied with representing myself, i need multiple facets of gender in a similar manner.

i think at some point I’d like to pursue taking HRT to have a body im more comfortable in, one that’s a bit more feminine than mine is currently. i can pride myself on being a bit androgynous, though i want to be more feminine to push that even further. hope you enjoyed takin a peek in my mind, whoever read all of this.