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When You Feed Your Horse Magic Beans
My old ball-and-chain has been on my case about how poor we she is and is now blabbing on about, "We can't buy anything because all you do is pamper that stupid horse of yours! Get rid of it!" She has to be kidding. Get rid of it? She's a beauty. I buy her the best oats and barley and make sure she's always clean. Maybe I do spoil my horse a bit. But hell, my horse is a lot nicer to me and more worth caring about than my wretched wife.
But it's true, we're low on cash. My wife says it's because I spend it on the horse, but I think its her stupid spending on things we don't need. No matter, I've been forced to sell my livestock one-by-one and now I was down to our last cow. I went into town looking for anyone willing to buy for a pretty penny, but was turned down. Then, a shady-looking man in a shady-looking alley beckoned me closer to him. He asked if I was interested in some "magic beans." Was this man crazy? Magic beans? Sure enough, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of small green-colored beans that glowed in the darkly lit alleyway. I was mesmerized by the peculiar sight. He said all I had to do was sell him the cow and they're mine, so I happily accepted.
I went home, unable to stop looking at the strange beans, and showed them to my wife. She immediately bitch-slapped me across the face. "You stupid idiot!" she shouted, "What the hell are we supposed to do with these?"
"Uh, plant them? Duh," I said.
"Why don't you just go feed them to your fucking horse?!"
"You know what? Maybe I will!" I yelled in disdain. So, I went out to the stable to where my precious equine companion resided and let her munch on the glowing veggies. Maybe their magical properties will help her shit gold; I don't know.
The next morning, I awoke to the sound and feel of the ground shaking. I jumped out of bed and ran outside to see what the hell was going on when suddenly my eyes beheld something massive blocking the sun. My horse stood like a giant on the ground, taller than any building I've ever seen and chowing down on a large pile of hay. I was in disbelief. The magic beans must have caused her to grow to a god-like size of great proportions. Surely, she must have been bigger than a dragon.
My wife came out all hysterical, shouting I created a monster, but I just told her to shut up. My horse was the most beautiful thing I was seeing in that moment. Her massive frame dominating all life for all to see. Perhaps some publicity could arise from this? All will want to see this glorious colossus grazing peacefully: the largest horse known to man.
"Our money troubles are over!" I shouted gleefully, and my amazing, enormous equine friend was the reason.
Mmm, look at that big horsey butt. It's so big and thicc and BIG! What's not to love? Just don't get lost in that cavernous buttcrack, or... do? Up to you. Personally, I'd get lost in there and then live in there. The only issue being a micro is you can't give them gargantuan cheeks a good smack.
Quick question. Do any of y'all like the little stories I sometimes write for these pictures? They're probably not necessary; I know this one was kind of silly, but I'm genuinely curious if anyone enjoys reading them. Or does read them.
Also, an alt/continuation of this will be out tomorrow ; )
But it's true, we're low on cash. My wife says it's because I spend it on the horse, but I think its her stupid spending on things we don't need. No matter, I've been forced to sell my livestock one-by-one and now I was down to our last cow. I went into town looking for anyone willing to buy for a pretty penny, but was turned down. Then, a shady-looking man in a shady-looking alley beckoned me closer to him. He asked if I was interested in some "magic beans." Was this man crazy? Magic beans? Sure enough, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of small green-colored beans that glowed in the darkly lit alleyway. I was mesmerized by the peculiar sight. He said all I had to do was sell him the cow and they're mine, so I happily accepted.
I went home, unable to stop looking at the strange beans, and showed them to my wife. She immediately bitch-slapped me across the face. "You stupid idiot!" she shouted, "What the hell are we supposed to do with these?"
"Uh, plant them? Duh," I said.
"Why don't you just go feed them to your fucking horse?!"
"You know what? Maybe I will!" I yelled in disdain. So, I went out to the stable to where my precious equine companion resided and let her munch on the glowing veggies. Maybe their magical properties will help her shit gold; I don't know.
The next morning, I awoke to the sound and feel of the ground shaking. I jumped out of bed and ran outside to see what the hell was going on when suddenly my eyes beheld something massive blocking the sun. My horse stood like a giant on the ground, taller than any building I've ever seen and chowing down on a large pile of hay. I was in disbelief. The magic beans must have caused her to grow to a god-like size of great proportions. Surely, she must have been bigger than a dragon.
My wife came out all hysterical, shouting I created a monster, but I just told her to shut up. My horse was the most beautiful thing I was seeing in that moment. Her massive frame dominating all life for all to see. Perhaps some publicity could arise from this? All will want to see this glorious colossus grazing peacefully: the largest horse known to man.
"Our money troubles are over!" I shouted gleefully, and my amazing, enormous equine friend was the reason.
Mmm, look at that big horsey butt. It's so big and thicc and BIG! What's not to love? Just don't get lost in that cavernous buttcrack, or... do? Up to you. Personally, I'd get lost in there and then live in there. The only issue being a micro is you can't give them gargantuan cheeks a good smack.
Quick question. Do any of y'all like the little stories I sometimes write for these pictures? They're probably not necessary; I know this one was kind of silly, but I'm genuinely curious if anyone enjoys reading them. Or does read them.
Also, an alt/continuation of this will be out tomorrow ; )
Category Artwork (Digital) / Macro / Micro
Species Horse
Size 1280 x 720px
File Size 228.7 kB
Listed in Folders
To zdecydowanie jedna z tych historii, która zaczyna się jak baśń, ale szybko przeradza się w szaloną mieszankę surrealizmu i humoru na granicy. I choć fabuła jest absurdalna (a zakończenie „gruby koński tyłek” to już zupełnie inny poziom fantazji 😄), to jest coś fascynującego w tym, jak autorowi udało się połączyć codzienne kłótnie, trudności finansowe i… gigantycznego konia.
A tak przy okazji, po przeczytaniu tej historii przypomniało mi się, jak w tym roku odwiedziłam bardzo spokojne i pełne duszy miejsce — podmodrzewiami.pl. Tam jest po prostu odwrotnie: cisza, prawdziwe konie (normalnych rozmiarów), a zamiast magicznych fasolek — naturalne jedzenie z farmy. To świetny sposób na ucieczkę od takich „gigantycznych” problemów i po prostu relaks.
Historie takie jak ta zdecydowanie dodają filmowi życia. Pisz więcej — najważniejsze, żeby pisać z humorem i trochę mniej szczegółowo o… hm… grzbiecie konia 😅
A tak przy okazji, po przeczytaniu tej historii przypomniało mi się, jak w tym roku odwiedziłam bardzo spokojne i pełne duszy miejsce — podmodrzewiami.pl. Tam jest po prostu odwrotnie: cisza, prawdziwe konie (normalnych rozmiarów), a zamiast magicznych fasolek — naturalne jedzenie z farmy. To świetny sposób na ucieczkę od takich „gigantycznych” problemów i po prostu relaks.
Historie takie jak ta zdecydowanie dodają filmowi życia. Pisz więcej — najważniejsze, żeby pisać z humorem i trochę mniej szczegółowo o… hm… grzbiecie konia 😅
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