god i cant get myself to draw anything happy for once in my forsaken life can i.. im sorry

basic about this is something in my life is happening that im connecting to my past trauma and x3333 its causing me a lot of trouble and pain. im starting to get genuine complications because of it and its triggering me and making me realize things about myself that i didnt know before (/neg.. kinda). also this isnt in the art but my now ex broke up with me due to said complications </33 ruined one of the best things in my life at the moment feeling GOOD (HUGE /s)

me when everythings falling upside down and everyone is not only demanding i keep up with regular duties but also keep secrets and hold other peoples problems im basically already shattered but im gonna break some more if this doesnt let off soon. all of this has been going on for months and ive been done since it started. i just want it to go back to 2016 when everything was generally ok and i was just drawing memes with my friends at school i dont want trauma resurfacing i dont want pain i dont want adulthood i dont want college i dont want to deal with any of this im just so tired of it all so so tired im blowing off my assignments to draw and write this im a fucking failure i cant keep up with everyones demands and wants and needs all the time i should just off myself