Alan glanced around nervously, carefully placing the black candles into the hollows that were made for them. He let his hands run over the carved, polished stone lid of the sarcophagus, tracing the intricately carved magical circles and runes. Striking a match, he lit the candles one at a time, the dim glow casting flickering shadows over the walls of bone deep in the catacombs.

Slowly, he drew a knife from his pocket and flicked out the blade. It was wickedly sharp and glistened in the candlelight. He placed the edge of the blade against the palm of his hand, ready to slice into his flesh when he paused.

“Do you think this is really going to work?”

Michelle rolled her eyes at him as she blew a bubble of pink gum, let it pop, then pulled it back into her mouth. The tiny bubbles cracked loudly between her teeth in the relative silence as she rolled her eyes at him.

“I’m sure this has never worked, ever.”

Frowning at his girlfriend, Alan was even more determined than ever. He pressed the blade against his palm and drew it across. Pain blossomed in his hand as he closed his fist tightly and held it over the carved circles. As the blood began to drip into the carving, it flowed to fill it in, smoking and turning black as it went. Finally, when the circles were complete he called out.

“Valak Bonecall, arise and claim this world as your own!”

For a moment, there was silence. Then Alan practically jumped out of his skin as it was broken by the loud snapping of Michelle’s gum.

“Would you STOP doing that?” He snapped at her, turning his back to the smoking tableau.

Michelle’s eyes went wide as she gazed at something over his shoulder. He mouth fell open as the gum fell out onto the floor. A deep, whispering voice behind him called out.

“Yes, it’s quite rude.”

The pair gasped as they backed away from the sight before them. A towering skeleton stood before them. It leaned upon a jewel encrusted golden staff. Beautiful white robes adorned its emaciated form and a platinum crown rested heavy upon its brow.

Alan whispered to Michelle with a smug grin, “Never worked, ever, huh?”

She just moved behind him, holding onto the back of his jacket boyfriend between herself and whatever thing he had just conjured.

The being snapped its fingers and the walls of the catacombs trembled. Bones began to drop from the wall behind him, slowly pulling together into fully formed skeletons.

“I must thank the two of you for returning me to the world of the living. Now we may once more rule over this world with an iron fist.”

Alan looks confused as he looks at the necromancer standing proudly before him. “What… of our reward? F.. for bringing you back?”

“Of course! You two shall be lieutenants in my army and rule the world by my side! Your word will be second only to mine!”

Both Alan and Michelle brightened a bit at this news and stood side by side before him. “Really? We’re going to be rulers of the world together?”

The skeleton nodded sagely, the bones of his neck creaking softly as he grinned at them, “Of course, there is just one thing, though.”

Skeletal arms shot out from the walls, grasping at the couple, pulling them back against the wall. Arms and skeletal hands began to pluck and pull painfully at clothing and skin while the row of skulls behind them began to gnaw and chew.

“You’ve got some flesh that needs removing before we can begin.”