Luke heard the radio while he was out on patrol. The last person he had heard was Sarge, and Sarge seemed distressed.

"Officer Sarge, ya copy?" Luke asked, stopping his walk to focus on the radio.

No reply.

"Officer Sarge, are you in danger? Do you need backup?" Luke felt anxious.

A bit of rustling was heard on the other end as a deep, menacing voice replied. "Is this Sheriff Luke?"

Luke felt his heart lurch. He knew Sarge was known for playing jokes, but this voice was unlike anything Sarge could ever pull off. "Yes. I am Sheriff Luke. I demand you tell me who I am speaking to and why you have the communication device of Sergeant J. Wolf!"

"He's... tied up at the moment," the voice said. "Of course, he wouldn't be able to say anything. One wrong move and his brains will be-"

"Is that Luke?!" Came a cheery voice. Luke felt both relief and panic as he recognized it as Sarge's. "Oh! Tell him I said hi-"

"Quiet!" The voice screamed... and then it spoke calmly. "For the release of your pathetically fat officer, I demand a ransom-"

"Fat? You're darn right I am! You should see Luke, too!" Sarge chimed in. "Guy's got the gut that makes me gawk! Took me twelve months of feeding him to get it that bi-"

"What part of HOSTAGE do you not understand, you idiot!" The voice screeched. "This isn't a joke! You're my hostage!"

There was a moment of silence. Luke sneered. Was Sarge really going to flirt with Luke... in a life-or-death situation? "Name your price. The office will negotiate."

"Five hundred-" The voice said, but he got cut off.

"Donuts?" Sarge asked.

"No! Five hundred thousand doll-"

"Donuts! Ask for donuts!" Sarge sang. "I gotta eat something! You tied me up without food for an entire two hours!"

"I SWEAR TO G-"

"Luke, can you bring the donuts here? I want this guy to admire the handiwork I did on your belly!" Sarge's voice was still overly cheerful. Luke couldn't fully understand why, but he knew Sarge wasn't an idiot... sometimes. What was Sarge trying to accomplish?

"Why won't you shut up!" The voice bellowed.

"Luuuuuke! How's your new uniform? Heard you had to go up another size! Let's talk about it over dinner!" Sarge teased.

"AUGH!"

Silence.

"Hello?" Luke asked. His panic was rising. "Hello? We will discuss your demands more! Do not take it out on my officer!"

".... Is there another person I can have be my hostage?" The voice spoke up. They sounded... defeated.

Luke sighed, shaking his head. Making sure to take his thumb off the button, he grumbled out loud. "Sarge... there's never a dull moment with you around."

~~~~~

A commission for  Bradfort Bottlenose

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Luke (C)  Bradfort Bottlenose

Art (C)  Juntarhenogu Me