there are pros and cons of following patreon shedule… you see i am (?? i used to be?) a kind of a person who posts their drawing immediately right after the last stroke is done being very excited and overwhelmed and feeling like THIS is what my soul wants to tell right now
err “i need to show my meat when it’s still steaming” you know
but it has changed err… some time ago? i find it pretty interesting
following patreon posting schedule means that most of viewers are going to see the pic in about a month and a half after it’s done. but WORSE it means i have to interact with an old drawing of mine and present it to the world acting like i feel fine about it
and you know what?? surprisingly i do. i do feel fine despite i’m the dude who likes the pic for the first 24h or so and than it starts to get ugly gradually
i mean… i was really excited when i started to make this pic (i loved what the lights on the face looked like). rn? it’s balancing between just naive and hilarious for me
and it’s fine. i’m not ashamed or angry or anything. i’m comfortable with it
it feels amazing cause i used to blame myself for the art imperfections and shit and (insert autoabusive thoughts) for a couple of years
i’m touching the Zen
i’m cringe but i’m free
it allows me to be such more peaceful and productive when it comes to art
i love it



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