Back Room
A Thursday Prompt story
© 2021 by Walter Reimer

Prompt: race



“God damn it!” The bear hurled a sheaf of polling data across the room. As two junior staffers began gathering them up the candidate raged, “We’ve done everything! We’ve called Carson a liberal, we’ve made fun of him, we’ve called him soft on crime, we’ve accused him of hating children – and we’re still neck and neck in the polls!” The bear huffed and ran a paw through his headfur. “Okay,” he said, here’s what we’re going to do.”

“This guy Carson’s a farmer, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, he raises pigs,” someone said.

“Good. Perfect.” He turned to his communications director. “I want you to drop a quiet word here and there – you know which papers I’m talking about – and have them start saying that this guy screws his farm animals.”

There was a momentary silence, broken by the candidate’s chief of staff slapping a paw to his forehead. “Jesus, Artie, we can’t get away with calling this guy a pig-fucker.”

“Why the fuck not?” the bear demanded.

“For starters, he’s a horse,” the border collie said. “He only fucks mares.”

“Mares, plural? So we start spreading adultery rumors.”

“He’s got more than one wife.”

“What?” Artie asked.

The chief of staff shrugged. “Horses, like I said. Herd mentality.”

“Well, shit.”



end