Bella said that venting myself by drawing something could help me...
This help me a little bit, I have always been grateful for the attention my girl has given me in this last week
A few weeks ago my grandfather had medical complications, my whole family was very stressed because we wanted him to improve as quickly as possible, my mother is the one who is most devastated and seeing her like this has broken me, I'm a kind of sponge of emotions, I had to work but it was impossible and I felt terrible so I only slept a lot (wrong!) I'm get a slight depression and knowing that I was failing you guys was unforgivable for me....
I saw how my mom could not sleep, eat and simply how she neglected herself, I helped her and just one day she went to take care of my grandfather all night, I slept a little and my father called me to take my mother with my grandmother, without more explanations, he did not want to tell me more, I imagined the worst and the best but I did what he told me, my mom was confused but she listened, we arrived to my grandmother and my uncles gave her the horrible update with tears in their eyes,
Seeing my mom collapse while the pain were coming out against my will was a feeling that I NEVER want to experience again....
It hurts me even more to know the circumstances in which my grandfather died, if not even that, THEY KILLED HIM, they are strong words but it is reality, I had videocalls with my grandfather and I saw that he was improving, slowly, but he did....he did....
We were going to take him to a better hospital with better doctors and everything, but as soon as my mother made mention of what we would transfer from this clinic to a better one, they put many obstacles, my aunt went to take care of my grandfather after my mother and they STUPIDLY mention to my aunt that my grandfather died of a sudden heart attack WTF?!
It hadn't been 2 fucking hours that my mom had left my grandfather ok
They gave us many '' excuses'' to give us the body of my poor grandfather and they wanted to tell him that he died of this disease that we currently have, but it was impossible, one day before that happened they did the test and it came out NEGATIVE, my aunt passed to speak personally with the director of the clinic and he confessed to us with ``Oh yes.....they are right, we are sorry, it got out of hand, your father did not really die from this virus :) '' W-WHAAAT?!
I have enormous respect for the community of doctors, surgeons, nurses and more currently for what we go through globally but this?... THIS?!...... that is not what they do, they are not doctors, they killed him...
It is very complicated and more at this holidays, family times... it will be very difficult for our family their absence that they took from us.
I was going to see him and take care of him last Sunday while I was drawing with my grandfather, but they took that moment away from me, that is something that I will have in my regret forever.
Oh my god I am so sorry for these horrible words but I have so much anger, helplessness and sadness, I need to just get it out.....
- Oliver F

NOTE: an apology for the grammar, you know english is not my first language