ACT 01- ORIGINS, I titled this Act ‘Origins’ for the obvious reason that it is the first chapter of the story, but also, it is the origin of Krystal as a character in the Star Fox franchise.

Author’s Commentary
For a few years now I’ve always wondered to myself ‘what I would do if I was in charge of retelling the story of Star Fox Adventures’, including how the game would be played if it was released on console. I’ve always enjoyed Star Fox Adventures, but it certainly has its issues. I thought so much about how I would tell the story that it finally occurred to me that I should just write the story, and so I did! As you read this story you will discover many changes to the original game, but will also notice I was careful to leave certain things in. Most of the changes come from me stripping the game of its fantasy elements and replacing them with science fiction counterparts that fit the Star Fox franchise better. I also developed Krystal more as a character, including her background (daughter to a team of archeologists) and her reason for being on Sauria in the first place (she’s a part of an archeology team studying the Krazoan ruins). Furthermore, after having read the original Nintendo Power comic, originally released in 1993, I decided to borrow some elements from the story they told. Namely, I enjoyed how Andross’ army was referred to as the Empire, so of course you will see Andross and his minions referred to as such. I also changed General Scales to being an Admiral, since ‘General’ is not typically used by naval forces. You will also notice throughout this series that Scales’ troops are not Sharpclaws, but rather a combination of races. His troops will be breeds of wild dog, reptiles, and apes.

A part of this chapter’s design is intended to be modeled after the beginning of SF: Adventures. You are solely told the story from Krystal’s point of view with a brief introduction of the main antagonist, General (now an Admiral) Scales.

Glossary
E.B.S. – An acronym for Empire (Imperial) Battle Ship.
The Grand Gambit – Admiral Scales’ Imperial Flagship.

You had Krystal get kidnapped?

The narrative does appear to lean in that direction.

Why? She’s a telepath who could’ve sensed those guys.

I never stated in the story that she was a telepath.

But she is.

By the way, Krystal as an archeologist? Why is she an archeologist?

I usually only read on FFnet; this marks the first story I've read on FA.

Adventures retellings are pretty common, but I think all the changes you've made so far make it stand out from the rest. I'm interested to see what shenanigans Krystal will get up to as an aspiring archeologist, and I've enjoyed how spunky and resourceful she is. Her sacrifice at the end was probably my favorite part. I'm glad much of the magic has been cut out, and I like that the dinos seem to have been done away with as well, or incorporated into Andross's army like Scales.

Huh, thought for sure Krystal would end up putting the gem on the staff and accidentally blow away some Venomians as the climax of her escape; I assumed everything was leading up to that. You know: Chekhov's gun. Guess that'll come later.

Anyway, very action-packed and all-around a good introduction to the story. I'll be looking forward to see how Fox gets involved - presumably next chapter.

Some technical stuff:

- If you have a dialogue tag after a character speaks, you should end their quote with a comma, not a period. For example:

“Good morning, Dr Adger.” The young vixen said

should be:

“Good morning, Dr Adger,” the young vixen said

- Watch for run-on sentences; for example, there's a particularly-long one that starts, "There was screaming and shouting as Krystal picked herself up..."

Thank you very much for reading, and for your reply! I'm happy to hear you enjoyed this first chapter of SF:Asc, and I really do hope you continue to read the rest of the series as they come out! Thank you!!