very cute, it certainly does, me thinks she is gonna hang him up somewhere and not let him down.

Hahaha, this is great. Love it already. XD

Really Nice. ^^

of this pix

Okay, great, but one basic business question: audience and purpose?

Adolescants. To illustrae a bold example of why they should conform to being adults, in spite of the overwhelming challenges. Ally Herman serves as both a challenge and a reward for Teddy, as she antagonizes Teddy's faith in himself, then rewards him once he comes to realize the right way.

And (I don't mean this to sound rude) how do you think these characters would appeal to the target audience?

Because what would look like something that would appeal to children will play out like something that will appeal to older ones, as per the moral turnout of the story. There will be some slapstick, mischief, action, and menace, but that's icing on the cake compared to the redeeming moral value.

But speaking as part of your target audience, I don't think it appears to be something I'd watch. The title, the expressions, the way Ally is holding him makes it seem too cheesy. Also, Ally's appearance and clothing makes the show look far too odd. See, those clothes appeal to your audience on FA but would not appeal to many teenagers and it would also be seen as inappropriate. Also, the name 'Teddy Atkins' seems also to be really cheesy. Names are important. While Teddy Atkins' name might appeal to two year olds, it would not appeal to an older market.

The surname is fine, however the forename seems too bland and uncreative.

Honestly, I think there are a lot of apparent flaws to be seen immediately when viewing this picture alone. I think it would be wise to redesign Ally's attire and give Teddy a rename. Maybe also try and avoid the same old clichés. Try and do some market research and really see what your target audience is watching. I personally know quite a lot of teens who enjoy Family Guy and Glee and that already speaks volumes of the audience. Most of the other shows are British so I doubt you'd know of them, but I think it should be down to you to research your audience to get a better perspective on what they want. I think it's necessary if you really want this to work.

Maybe I should, at least for the incidental parts.

And now that you mention it, I could go with the name "Brown" in place of "Atkins". Teddy Brown... hmm...

And Ally? Maybe she could wear something more... subtle, for a cover like this. A sweater, maybe?

Yes, just something to make her look friendlier and less provocative. Also, the name 'Teddy' is the problem for me. I mean, I think it's a little bit too cliché. 'Teddy' feels as though you're naming him according to his appearance, hence removing a massive amount of realism that audience would require.

Oh, I see.

Teddy Atkins is named after the Atkin's Friendly Diet => http://www.atkins.com/Homepage.aspx

I initially made him to be the opposite of  gokutothez's Lisa Bear, but since the guy isn't online so much anymore, Ally's the next best thing, but more into muscle and vegetarianism rather than obsesity and gluttony.

So if Teddy doesn't work, what other name would? Franklin? Cid? Phil? You tell me.

Come to think of it, since I decided to make Teddy somewhat of a delinquent, he would have to chose a name different from what his Dad gave him. Theodore Atkins, Jr. is his legal name, so what kind of handle would work best for him?

Well, that's not down to me. I'm not very good at naming that sort of character. I think you should just have a rethink and see what you come up with.

Okay...

First of all, I'm sorry for coming off as some stiff-neck in that note I sent.

Second, I'm sticking with the names, though I do believe another cover concept should be done. Something more... sublte and less "right to the point".

No offence taken. We all sometimes say things that we later regret.

If you feel that the names are acceptable then that's your choice. I can only advise and if you thin the advice is bad, it's well within your rights to not take it.

Fine. And thank you for understanding. I think the fact that I'm making Teddy a semi-delinquient character would contrast the misleading "kiddie appeal".

Life begins with a Massive bunny.

Or with some giant stranger who finds herself suceeding where the little guy's parents failed. That's how David Copperfield and Oliver Twist found faith in themselves, you know? Some girl just... "decided" to enter their lives.

This is gonna make an awesome story!

Even if it may not be accepted for mainstream publication?

Yep :3

oh this is gonna be a good story

cool cover. X3 and nice title. it does remind me of those old books... :3