On the way home from soccer today, I had a little flash of inspiration. I dunno if the Scott Pilgrim's Eighth Ex contest is still on, but I figured I'd write up a little comic script for him anyway. An illustration may follow at some point... In the meantime, enjoy my first attempt at a comic script.

So yeah, this counts as fanfic for the Scott Pilgrim universe. Bear with me here... It's a just-for-fun thing. And if you haven't read any Scott Pilgrim, you'll likely be completely confused.

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Eight Evil Ex: Tom Berry.

Age: As old as Ramona.
Appearance: Like a Tonberry from the Final Fantasy games, except with a camera instead of a lantern, a raincoat instead of a robe, and his hood drawn over his head. Under hood: Shaved head, round glasses, round face.

Script:



PAGE 1:

PANEL 1: Scott and Ramona are just getting ready for bed, Ramona settling in while Scott brushes his teeth.

PANEL 2: Scott's visage in the mirror as he spots some gleaming, round, shiny, pupilless eyes behind him. Scott's clearly shocked.

PANEL 3: Shot of the bedroom, with a speech bubble from the bathroom's direction: "AHHHHH!"
Ramona doesn't even look up from her Nintendo Power magazine (optional note: Scott made her read this).
RAMONA: "I told you, Scott. He doesn't live. He doesn't hunger. We took care of that."

PANEL 4: View from the bathroom into the bedroom. Scott stumbles into the room, still in his skivvies and with toothpaste foam around his mouth. He's definitely panicky-looking, staring at a shadow taking up a lot of the light from the doorframe.
SCOTT: "This is even woooorse!"

PANEL 5 (TAKES UP A LOT OF THE PAGE: A view of Tom Berry in the open bathroom door, illuminated from behind, only those gleaming glasses and a small grin visible under the hood, camera hanging from his left hand like a lantern.
TOM (IN SMALL LETTERS): "Hi, Scott. Ramona, nice to see you again. I'm Tom Berry. Ramona's eighth evil ex."




PAGE 2:

PANEL 1, PANEL 2 and PANEL 3 are all on one row.

PANEL 1: Scott's still-panicky face in the lower corner, with a nonplussed Ramona looking up from her magazine.
RAMONA: "Who did you say you were?"

PANEL 2: Closeup of Tom's hood. His mouth is pointing down a little more, but his glasses remain gleaming.
TOM: "Tom Berry, Ramona. Don't tell me you don't remember me."

PANEL 3: Closeup of Ramona, looking even more nonplussed.
RAMONA: "Nope, sorry."

PANEL 4: Page-wide panel. Side view of the distance between the bathroom door and Scott/Ramona's bed. Scott's still on the floor, still nervous-looking. Ramona's still nonplussed. You can only kinda see Tom's glasses on his hunched-over form, really resembling a Tonberry.
TOM: "..."

PANEL 5: Same panel, except Tom's shuffling closer. Scott's eyes are bigger.
SOUND FX (FROM TOM): SHUFFLE


PANEL 6: Same panel. Tom's closer still. Scott's eyes wider.
SOUND FX (FROM TOM): SHUFFLE

PANEL 7: Tom's right next to Scott, having stopped. Scott's eyes are about as big as they can get.

PANEL 8: Same view. Tom flips out a piece of paper.
TOM: "DOINK."
Scott leaps up into Ramona's arms, screaming.
SCOTT: "RUN AWAY!"




PAGE 3:

PANEL 1: Closeup of a photo held in Tom's hand. The photo shows two babies in a maternity ward.

PANEL 2: Closeup of a scared/confused Scott and a still-the-same-expression Ramona.
RAMONA: "Nope. Still don't get it."

PANEL 3: Closeup of Tom's face, hidden in his hood. His mouth's displeased.
TOM, IN SMALL LETTERS: "Let me remind you, then, Ramona, of the happiest time of my life."

PANEL 4: We see the two babies in the maternity ward.
NARRATION PANEL: "Ramona, you were my first. And I was your first."

PANEL 5: One of the babies looks at the other, and smiles. The other baby looks awestruck.

PANEL 6: Both babies are looking up into the ceiling again. The one baby is still looking awestruck.
NARRATION PANEL: "Since that moment, my life was never the same again."




PAGE 4:

PANEL 1: Ramona is looking dubious. Scott's hiding under the blanket by now.
RAMONA: "Seriously? I mean, for real?"

PANEL 2: We see Tom's back, along with still-dubious Ramona.
TOM: "Since then, I've been following you without end. Considering your usual luck with boyfriends, I'd hoped that your time with Scott would be over soon. I can see that's not happening, so..."

PANEL 3 (LARGE): Tom's hand pointing at Scott, who's - slightly less nervously - peeking out from under the covers.
TOM: "Scott Pilgrim! From now on, I'm stalking YOU!"

PANEL 4: View of the bedroom. Scott and Ramona are still on the bed, Scott still wide-eyed, Ramona still unbothered, but Tom's just gone.




PAGE 5:

PANEL 1: Scott's mostly out of the covers, though a little tangled up in them, and looking confused. We see the open bedroom window behind them. Ramona's still with her magazine, looking annoyed.
SCOTT: "Where'd he go?"

PANEL 2: Same view. Scott's suddenly looking very calm. And he's picking his nose, with Ramona staring at him with a look of bemusement. The bedroom window shows a pair of glasses, and a camera that flashes.
SOUND FX: "CLICK"

PANEL 3: Scott turns his head around, gaping, but Tom's gone again. Ramona's looking at him, a little disgusted.
SCOTT: "HEY!"

PANEL 4: Ramona, nonplussed again, asks:
RAMONA: "Why'd you pick your nose?"
Scott looks confused.
SCOTT: "I don't know! I just felt like I was suddenly safe and comfortable enough that I could do anything. And my nose had an itch."

PANEL 5 (LARGE): View of the bedroom, with Scott and Ramona looking up and around. Tom's voice comes out of nowhere.
TOM: "That's the power of the stalker, Scott Pilgrim! Just when you feel the safest, just when you're at your most revealing, I'm right there to document it and post it to scottpilgrimshrine.ca! Prepare to be embarrassed to death!"




PAGE 6: TOP HEADER: "And so:"

PANEL 1: Scott sitting on the toilet, wide-eyed and surprised, staring ahead of himself as a camera peeks in from the bathroom window and flashes.

PANEL 2: Scott with his pants off on the couch, in the middle of playing on his Sega, the same expression on his face as the last panel as a pair of hands with a camera in them pops out from behind the TV, snapping a photo.

PANEL 3: Scott mimicking the butt-towelling pose from River City Ransom, except his head's turned slightly to the side, eyes round as a hooded figure snaps a photo in the foreground.

PANEL 4: Scott grinding his teeth as he stares into a computer screen.

PANEL 5: Scott is horrified to be photographed eating a banana.

PANEL 6: We see Scott's silhouette behind the shower curtains, with a pair of camera-holding hands sneaking up.





PAGE 7:

PANEL 1: The shower curtain is pulled aside, to reveal a cardboard figure with a badly drawn face. Tom is clearly surprised.

PANEL 2: Scott grabs Tom from behind, expression determined.
SCOTT: "Gotcha!"

PANEL 3: Scott turns Tom around to face him, clearly angry.
TOM: "You even put a HIT COUNTER on each page and picture, you bastard! There are too many hits on my butt!"

PANEL 4: Closeup of Tom's face with Scott's hands grasping his collar. Tom, for as little as one can see of his features, is starting to look panicky.
SCOTT: "You've given me no choice here. I'm going to put an end to your stalking ways forever!"

PANEL 5 (LARGE): We see Scott between Tom and a cute girl, outside a restaurant. Kjersti's happy-looking, while Tom's expression is unreadable.
SCOTT: "Tom, meet Kjersti. She's an exchange student from Norway."





PAGE 8: TOP HEADER: "And so:"

PANEL 1: Tom and Kjersti in the restaurant. Kjersti's friendly, Tom's confused.

PANEL 2: Tom and Kjersti walking in the park. Kjersti's seemingly in the process of telling a funny story, while Tom's expression is neutral.

PANEL 3: Tom and Kjersti in a cinema. Kjersti is leaning in against Tom, eyes on the movie and smiling. Tom's smiling, too.

PANEL 4: Tom and Kjersti sitting on a bench in front of the mall. Tom's hood is off, and they're smiling at each other.
TOM: "I'm glad I met you, Kjersti. You really... take my mind off of things. In fact, you're all I'm thinking of now."

PANEL 5: Closeup of Tom's face.
TOM: "I love you, Kjersti."

PANEL 6: Closeup of Kjersti's face. She's completely happy.
KJERSTI: "I love you too, Tom."

PANEL 7: (LARGE): Tom and Kjersti kiss on the bench. It seems that Tom's starting to glow.





PAGE 9:

PANEL 1 (LARGE): Tom explodes into a decent amount of coins, in front of a still kissy-faced, though now wide-eyed Kjersti.

PANEL 2: Kjersti, horrified, stares down at her hands, some coins in her palms, trickling between her fingers.

PANEL 3: Isometric top-down view. Kjersti, still horrified, stares around herself at the mass of coins strewn on the ground.

PANEL 4: Same view. Kjersti buries her face in her hands.

PANEL 5 (SMALL): Scott and Ramona sitting on the couch, watching TV. Scott's looking up thoughtfully, while Ramona looks at him curiously.
SCOTT: "Huh. I suddenly felt a small pang of guilt. Wonder why."


THE END.