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TlaiLaxu
dajibblyCategory All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 822 x 1259px
File Size 770.8 kB
Panel 1: Good Panel 2: Also good
Panel 3: "She was named Samantha. Her parents doted upon her, trying to give her the best childhood a kid can have."
Panel 4: "Another child was a boy, named Maxwell. He never knew love, never knew joy. He never had a simple toy, playing with trash he could find in the house or the backyard" (removed "at" in "at the backyard")
Panel 5: s'good
Panel 6: "At the same time Max's friends were his dusty room, loneliness and the constant smell of alcohol from his father." (took some creative liberty with this one >,>)
It's still good, with or without the changes ^-^
Panel 3: "She was named Samantha. Her parents doted upon her, trying to give her the best childhood a kid can have."
Panel 4: "Another child was a boy, named Maxwell. He never knew love, never knew joy. He never had a simple toy, playing with trash he could find in the house or the backyard" (removed "at" in "at the backyard")
Panel 5: s'good
Panel 6: "At the same time Max's friends were his dusty room, loneliness and the constant smell of alcohol from his father." (took some creative liberty with this one >,>)
It's still good, with or without the changes ^-^
It's an emotive comic indeed, but what bothers me from a writer's perspective is the text balloons in the fourth panel. This image speaks a thousand words for itself and I can't help but feel the text could have been written a little more subtle. It's a little pushed onto the reader/viewer too much that the boy never has any joy, doesn't have much chances and generally unhappy unlike the girl.
Other than that, excellent work.
Will eagerly look out to the next comic pages. :)
Other than that, excellent work.
Will eagerly look out to the next comic pages. :)
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