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I wrote this two years ago for my ESO guild, which has sadly since disbanded. If any former members of Fuzzy Wumpkins are reading this: Hi! I miss you all.
This was in fact my first ever attempt at writing "fanfic", although I don't know if you can really call it that. It's a short-ish story set in the Elder Scrolls universe, about a man who turns into a khajiit, gets drunk, finds love, and all that jazz.
Note that while I'm pretty sure this is tame enough for General rating, please correct me if I'm wrong.
This story contains:
• Human to Khajiit TF
• A wholesome and romantic gay Khajiit relationship
• Some drunken antics
• So many lore-accurate details it'll make you CHIM
• 7619 words, divided into micro-chapters for easier reading, and definitely not because it took me like a week to write it originally (I write slow, ok?)
I will now proceed to break my enter key formating this story for FA.
Ch 1
It was a hot Tirdas morning as Felis’s caravan rolled into Elsweyr. It had been a hot Morndas too, and he knew it would be a hot Middas tomorrow. It was always hot in Elsweyr. To be frank, he hated it here. He would much rather be home in Colovia, tending to his mother. But, someone had to pay for her medicine, and the alchemist wasn’t cheap. So it was that week after week, month after month, he begrudgingly hauled himself deep into the desert, to peddle his wares to the cats. They were an odd people, with strange voices, strange faces, and those strange clawed sausages they called “fingers” on their hands. He found their tails particularly unsettling, the way they waggled about, and he couldn’t stand the way they called themselves “this one”. But they paid well for his wares, and bought them all too eagerly. That was what mattered, or so he told himself.
As his caravan rolled into Riverhold, a cat in armor gestured for him to stop, and began to inspect his wares. Felis rolled his eyes. For all he trusted these cats, this one was sizing him up to steal from later.
“Here to sell?” The cat asked.
“Yes.” Felis sighed, uninterested.
“There’s a stall open in the southwest corner of the marketplace. You can set up shop there.” said the cat. Then it pointed toward the stall, and gestured for him to move along. Felis was all too eager to do so.
Soon enough, he found the empty stall, and began to place his wares upon the shelves. As he did so, he observed the merchandise being sold at the stalls around him. To his left, incense, to his right, jewelry, and rugs adjacent to him. “The goods of simpletons,” he thought. As he continued to unpack, the thought lingered in his mind. Was there not anything here worth buying for a cultured man like himself? After a while, the irritation turned to curiosity, and he left his stall to have a look around.
Up and down the aisles he went, eyeing every stall, yet nothing caught his eye. Breads baked with moon sugar. Crude blades crafted with moon designs. None of the wares caught his attention. But then, one of the shopkeepers did.
It sat in a small, quiet stall on the end of the row. It looked to be selling potions. But that wasn’t what caught Felis’s eye. He was enthralled by the fact that, against all belief, this shop was run by a tiny housecat in a turban, sitting on a high stool. It was bizarre. It was adorable. Felis couldn’t help himself.
“Hi, kitty!” He said, a goofy grin on his face.
It looked up at him. It blinked. Then, to his shock, it spoke.
“Oh, dear,” it said, “here we have another one.”
Felis was shocked. “You can talk!?” He gasped.
“Yes, of course I can talk, you Imperial Imbecile!” It snapped at him.
Felis might’ve been insulted, were he not still so confused. “But how?” He asked, “You’re a cat!”
The little cat sighed, and pondered whether it should bother to respond. But at last, it decided to do so.
“I am as much a cat as you are a cave troll,” it said, “which I hope is to say, not at all. I am Alfiq, and woe is me, for my mind is far greater than my body suggests. For many years, I studied alchemy. For many hours each day, I toil working the mortar and pestle with my paws. And yet, when I come to sell my wares, some human fool approaches without fail, and coos at me, and clicks his tongue, and says ‘here kitty, kitty, would you like a treat?’ Bastards! The only treat I want is the cold hard coin to feed my family, for they have far larger bodies and stomachs than I!”
Felis was utterly stunned. This was one eloquent cat. He didn’t know what to say, but he felt he should apologize.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, “I’ve never heard of you… All-Feek.”
“Yes, well, that is not much surprise,” it said to him. “Most of the Khajiit that bother to make their way up to Cyrodiil are the ones with flat feet, and spindly tails, and a skooma addiction that lands them in prison, where no one can see them. And, as that paints such a lovely picture of us, those few Imperials that bother to make their way down here are only too eager to leave. You, I sense, are no exception, yes?”
Felis didn’t know what to say, but his silence answered for him.
“I thought not,” the Alfiq said. Then it sighed. “It is a shame we are… so ignorant of each other. I sense there is much we could teach each other. But we both choose not to concern ourselves with the affairs of what we deem ‘lesser people’. Isn’t that sad?”
Felis gently nodded. “Yeah,” he said, “I guess it is. You know, I’ve never really liked it here, like you said, but… maybe I haven’t been giving it a fair chance.”
The Alfiq’s eyes perked up and it broke into a feline grin. “Ah!” it said “I believe I can help with that.” It hopped off its chair and rummaged around its stall. Then, it grabbed a potion in its mouth, and set it on the table.
“I have saved this potion for a… receptive outsider. Its effects are potent, and guaranteed to be… enlightening.”
“What’s in it?” asked Felis, nervously.
“Well,” pondered the Alfiq, “It’s mostly moon sugar.”
Felis shook his head. “No thanks. I don’t do… substances.”
“Ah,” the Alfiq chuckled, “but this is not skooma. It is my own special blend. To drink this is to understand Elsweyr as Khajiit do. And it can be yours… for a small price.”
“I don’t know…” said Felis. Those words sounded vaguely ominous to him.
“Come on.” said the Alfiq. “You are here now. Why not enjoy yourself? I promise you a good time. The Khajiit way.”
Felis shook his head and turned to leave. At this, the Alfiq leapt up on the table.
“Wait!” It shouted, “I’ll make you a deal. Drink now, pay later. Find me at my stall tomorrow. If your… experience is not satisfactory, pay nothing. Deal?”
Reluctantly, Felis took the potion, and made his way back to his stall. “Why does that cat care so much about this potion?” he wondered.
“By the way,” the Alfiq shouted after him, “My name is Dro’Zagi! Remember that, if you need to find me later!”
Felis didn’t like the sound of that, but he shook it off, and kept walking. He didn’t want to see that cat again, and he hoped to all the gods he wouldn’t need to.
Ch 2
When Felis got back to his stall, he was shocked by what he found. In hindsight, he shouldn’t have been.
Everything was gone. Not a single trinket remained on any shelf. He was almost surprised they didn’t steal his horse. He expected better of these people… but then he realized that no, he didn’t. His shock quickly turned to anger, and he stormed off in search of a guard.
He came barreling down on the first one he saw, and practically screamed in his face.
“Excuse me, sir,” he spat, “but would you care to explain how my entire caravan has been robbed in my brief absence?”
“’Brief Absence’?” the guard chuckled, “oh dear, sir, you should never leave goods unattended in such a busy market. This one fears there is naught he can do about it.”
Felis recognized the guard’s voice. This was the one who had guided him into the city, and told him where to set up his stall. And he recognized something else, too. A piece of his jewelry was worn around the guard’s neck. He couldn’t contain his anger. He reached out to snatch the necklace, which was just what the guard wanted.
“My goodness! Assault!” said the guard. “This man is trying to strangle me with his bare hands! I fear I must now imprison you, until you can better control yourself!”
With that, he grabbed Felis by the wrists, and escorted him to the town jail. It was cold, dark, and there wasn’t a soul inside it, not even a watchman. The guard threw him in a cell, locked it tight, and left him there alone.
Felis just sat there for a while, holding his head in his hands. It was all he could do not to cry. Damn these cats! They had taken everything from him! All he wanted was the coin to care for his mother, and now he was left with nothing!
Well, not exactly nothing. A lump in his pocket reminded him of that. That stupid potion, from that stupid little house cat! “A good time, the Khajiit way” indeed! He pulled it from his pocket, and nearly thought to smash it on the floor. But he stopped himself, and just stared at it. What did he have to lose? He undid the lid and took a sniff. It smelled sweet. Moon sugar, probably. Gingerly, he held it to his lips, and took a sip.
Not bad. Sweet, a little… fragrant? It tasted good enough for him to down the rest of it. Then, he waited for the “good time” to happen. But it never did.
“Stupid cat,” he said to himself. “This one should’ve known he was wasting his time.”
…What did he say?
“Damnit!” he thought to himself, “This one is starting to talk like them, too! Just what he needs!”
He did it again! This was very strange, and starting to get on his nerves. He resolved to speak his thoughts aloud until he could again communicate like a proper Colovian. He cleared his thoughts, cleared his throat, opened his mouth, and said:
“Felis is a proper Colovian. He has learned how to speak like a normal human being, and not like some smelly feline.”
For some reason, he couldn’t help but speak a little differently than he had before. He rolled his “R”s a little more, and spoke his vowels a bit sharper. He found that very worrying. He decided to try speaking again, but this time, he was going to try really hard not to do that.
“Felis is a proper Colovian. He has learned how to speak like a normal Khajiit… Felis is a proper Khajiit… Feliis-Ja is a proper Khajiit! Help! Somebody help!”
He was fully in a panic now. His words were no longer his own!
“Somebody! Anybody!” He screamed. Then, he remembered a name. “Dro’Zagi, please, help!”
On cue, a little feline shape jumped into the window of his cell. A glowing green pair of eyes stared down at him.
“Are you understanding Elsweyr yet?” Dro’Zagi asked.
“This one is not understanding much of anything at the moment!” Felis groaned. “Is this your idea of a good time?”
“No, my friend,” Said Dro’Zagi, “the good time is just about to start. But, I’m afraid there may be a bit of a bad time first.”
“What do you…” Felis was interrupred by a horrible pain in his stomach. It was agonizing, and it rapidly spread. He swore he could feel his insides moving around. He tightly clutched his stomach with his hands, and felt even more pain, as claws dug into his flesh. His claws.
“Dro’Zagi,” he cried, “Please, no!”
“I’m sorry, my friend,” said Dro’Zagi, “but I told you to meet me tomorrow if you weren’t satisfied. Until then, I’ll be waiting. Remember, the good time is coming…”
With that, Dro’Zagi leapt from the windowsill, leaving Felis alone. Quickly, the pain became too much for him, and he fell unconscious.
Ch 3
When Felis woke again, he was groggy, and didn’t feel well. But he knew instantly that something was wrong with him. Quite a few somethings, in fact. It was dark, but he could see things quite a bit better than he should. It was quiet, but he could hear things quite a bit better than he should. He was surrounded by odorless stone, and yet an orgy of strange new smells assaulted him. But those things all paled in comparison to what he felt.
He was almost completely overwhelmed by the sensations of his new body. His rough tongue ran across rows of sharp teeth. His ears sat atop his head, swiveling toward every sound. A long, thin tail dangled behind him. And there was So. Much. FUR.
“Make it stop,” he thought to himself. “Make it go away. Somebody, end this one’s torment!”
His torment was ended by the sound of his cell door opening. The guard had returned from the night before.
“What the...!” said the guard, “Who are you? What are you doing in here?”
“This one is… Feliis-Ja.” Felis – er… Feliis-Ja stammered out. “He was, ah, put in here.”
“But, you’re not supposed to be here,” said the guard. “There was supposed to be… someone else.”
“If Feliis-Ja is not supposed to be here, why don’t you let him go?” he asked.
The guard nodded his agreement, and brought Feliis-Ja to his feet. As he did so something felt off…
Oh. He had paws now. Of course.
He tried to act normally as he followed the guard, but gods the sensation of walking on paws was overwhelming. The guard took notice of his struggling to move.
The guard brought his face close to Feliis-Ja. “Open your mouth,” he said, “and exhale.”
Feliis-Ja did as instructed, exposing his –ugh– fangs for all the world to see. The guard took a whiff of his breath, and nodded.
“Thought so,” he said. “Moon sugar. That would explain why you were in there. I hope you’ve learned your lessen about that stuff. It can do nasty things to you, if you’re not careful.”
Feliis-Ja sighed, and nodded his head. “Yes, this one has learned his lesson, he thinks. His experience thus far has been… most unpleasant.”
Now that he was officially a free man- er, cat, Feliis-Ja’s first order of business was to return to Dro’Zagi’s market stall, and get this whole thing sorted out. But if simply walking had overwhelmed him, the sounds and smells of the market threatened to knock him dead. The smells of incense, moon sugar, and cat fur blended together and assailed his sensitive nostrils. All around him, merchants and peddlers screamed about this and that till his pointed ears rang.
At last, he staggered his way to Dro’Zagi’s stall, looking very much the worse for wear. The little Alfiq smiled, expecting him, but not his haggard expression.
“My friend!” said Dro’Zagi, “are you having a good time yet?”
“Tell Feliis-Ja why he should not claw your eyes out right here.” He growled.
“I take it that’s a no?” Dro’Zagi chuckled.
“Turn Feliis-Ja back.” He said bluntly. “He does not wish to live as this… animal. The smell alone is enough to drive him mad.”
“But my friend,” said Dro’Zagi, “the good times haven’t started yet! You are just going through an… adjustment period, is all. Changing species will do that to you. Still, you are taking it far harder than I imagined. Come, then, and let us explore this town as you explore your new self. Good times will come, friend, you just have to look for them!”
“The last thing this one wants to do is… explore himself.” huffed Feliis-Ja. “He has learned far too much about Khajiit anatomy as it is. Besides, you have a shop to run.”
“Nonsense!” Dro’Zagi laughed, eagerly leaping from his stool. “My shop will be fine. None would try to rob such a powerful mage as I. Besides, I grow tired of sitting on that little stool all day. I need to stretch my legs just as much as you need to break in yours. Now come, let us have some excitement. Let us have a good time, the Khajiit way.”
Reluctantly, Feliis-Ja resolved to follow Dro’Zagi as he merrily trotted through the market. As they passed an empty stall, Dro’Zagi suddenly stopped. Then, he turned around, lept up on the counter, then lept again onto Feliis-Ja’s shoulder.
“Whew!” laughed Dro’Zagi, “Such a long walk for such little paws. Much more comfortable up here, and a much better view, yes? All the better to give directions to one so unfamiliar with this place.”
Feliis-Ja grumbled, but had to admit Dro’Zagi had a point, so he reluctantly continued on.
“By the way,” whispered Dro’Zagi “as an alchemist, I know a thing or two about biology. If you have any, ah, questions about your new body, feel free to ask.”
In truth, Feliis-Ja did have many questions, but he didn’t really want to know the answers to them. Still, there was one that nagged at the back of his mind too greatly to ignore.
“Have you read The Real Barenziah?” he asked.
“Of course!” said Dro’Zagi.
“The uncensored version?” asked Feliis-Ja.
“Is there any other version?” Dro’Zagi chuckled.
Feliis-Ja lowered his voice to a low whisper, fearing the question itself as much as he feared others hearing it.
“That part in chapter three… is it true?”
“Ah, you mean, about Therris?” Dro’Zagi laughed. Then he nodded. “Yes, it’s as true for him as it’s true for you, I’m afraid. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it sooner or later. I suppose it all depends on how much you drink.”
Feliis-Ja’s felt his face flush. Oh GODS, why had he bothered to ask!? Then, another unpleasant question crossed his mind. He figured he had better learn the answer now, rather than later.
“Dro’Zagi,” he asked, “where do Khajiit, ah… spill their skooma?”
“Vomit?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“No…” said Feliis-Ja sheepishly, “other end.”
“We live in a desert, my friend.” said Dro’Zagi.
“So?” asked Feliis-Ja.
Dro’Zagi gave a sly little grin. “One big litter box.”
Feliis-Ja sighed. He was left with only one thought.
“S’rendarr, have mercy.”
Ch 4
Feliis-Ja’s head swam with thoughts he’d rather not be thinking, and knowledge he’d rather not know. “This must be how Hermora’s victims feel,” he thought “though certainly much furrier.”
Still feeling overwhelmed, Feliis-Ja had decided that what he needed right now was a few good, strong drinks. Dro’Zagi had been all too happy to tell him the location of Riverhold’s finest tavern (“Now that’s a good time!”) and so they headed there.
The tavern smelled strongly of old wood, alcohol, and cat. Then again, so did everything around here. Feliis-Ja was surprised by how crowded it was for this time of day. The tables, the stools, and sometimes even the floors were occupied by Khajiit of every shape and size. He was surprised by how much they varied in appearance. Tall and short, large and thin, striped and spotted. Such alien creatures they were to him, and yet, he was one of them now. That made him feel strange. He didn’t belong here, and yet… he did. Timidly, he stepped inside and approached the counter.
“Drink first,” he said to himself, “existential crisis later.”
“Warm sands, friend!” came the boisterous laugh of the bartender. “Warm sands, and cold drinks. The secret to a good time the Khajiit way, yes? What can I get you?”
“This one would like, uh, something strong…” Feliis-Ja stammered. He was caught off guard by the bartender’s appearance. He was a tall, burly creature, with bright orange fur and stripes like a tiger. He had long hair, and sharp features, but a friendly expression on his face. He was imposing, intimidating, and handsome.
“Handsome!?” Feliis-Ja caught himself. “I did not just think that about a cat.” He pushed the thought to the back of his mind with all his power.
“And what about you?” the bartender asked Dro’Zagi.
The sound of his voice snapped Feliis-Ja back to reality.
“I’ll have what he’s having.” Said Dro’Zagi.
“I have just the thing.” The bartender said. He swiftly turned around, plucked a bottle from the shelf, and began to fill two glasses. Feliis-Ja noticed that he seemed to enjoy his work. He hummed to himself quietly as he poured, and his tail swished about to the rhythm.
“That’s cute.” Said Dro’Zagi.
“It is.” Said Feliis-Ja. “I-I mean, what is?”
Dro’Zagi pointed a little paw at Feliis-Ja’s rear. “Your tail is copying his.”
“Ack!” Feliis-Ja reached back and grabbed his tail. A bad idea in hindsight, as he was still quite unused to the sensation of having one. His face was now so red hot he felt he might pop. It only got worse when the bartender took notice.
“You alright there friend?” His chuckle mixed with genuine concern.
Feliis-Ja stared at him, wide eyed, then nodded sheepishy. “This one is fine,” he said “Just had a little… discomfort in his tail is all.”
“Well, fear not!” he said as he handed the two their drinks, “This brew is sure to help with that. Drink up!”
Feliis-Ja sniffed the drink cautiously, then took a single, tiny sip. He remembered well what had happed the last time he had drunk something without proper consideration. Still, the brew had a pleasant aroma and taste, no doubt sweetened by moon sugar. And he felt fairly confident it was not a magic potion. So he drank until he had downed the whole thing.
“That was marvelous!” he said. “Bartender, another!”
“Certainly, sir,” said the bartender, “but please, call me J’Skarro.”
“Very well, J’Skarro.” Said Feliis-Ja.
This J’skarro seemed a friendly sort. Feliis-Ja decided he might as well make conversation.
“Do you like it here J’Skarro?”
“What, Riverhold?” J’Skarro replied. “It’s a nice place. Lots of stuff for sale, many pleasant smells, cheap housing. Surprisingly hard to find good work, though. Being a bartender here is a dead end job. High hours, low pay. But I like it well enough, I suppose.”
Feliis-Ja nodded. “At least you have steady income. This one’s caravan was robbed blind the prior day.”
The two conversed for a while longer, having a few laughs and a few more drinks. Feliis-Ja felt happy for the first time in a good few days. It was almost enough to make him forget his current predicament… almost.
Not long after he had downed his third drink, Feliis-Ja began to feel warm and tingly. His thoughts began to drift back to J’Skarro. He just sat there for a while, watching the bartender tend his bar in silence – or so he thought.
“Enjoying yourself?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“I suppose.” Said Feliis-Ja. “Why?”
Dro’Zagi grinned. “You’re purring.”
Feliis-Ja gasped. His hand shot to his throat. Sure enough, he felt vibrations. Curse this feline body!
“J’Skarro!” said Dro’Zagi, “Another for my friend here!”
“N-no!” stammered Feliis-Ja, “I’ve had plenty!”
“No he hasn’t. Give him more.” Dro’Zagi said with a sly grin.
J’Skarro handed Feliis-Ja another drink.
“But why?” Feliis-Ja asked.
“Because,” Dro’Zagi whispered to him, “We are trying to show you a good time, the Khajiit way. But the human you doesn’t want that. So, we have to make him go away for a little while, in order to let the Khajiit you have a chance to shine. Trust me. You’ll see it was worth it.”
Feliis-Ja did not trust Dro’Zagi. But he found himself finding it harder and harder to care. The more he drank, the more he wanted to drink. And the more he wanted to drink, the more he wanted to be served by that big, handsome bartender…
Feliis-Ja’s faculties were fast beginning to fail him. He reached a hand over the bar, placed it on J’Skarro’s shoulder, and said:
“J’Skarro, have I mentioned how fragrant you are?”
He could remember nothing else of the night.
Ch 5
Feliis-Ja awoke with a terrible headache. It took all his energy to lift his head and examine his surroundings. He was in a modest, but comfortable bed, in an unfamiliar room. There was a scent in the air that he couldn’t quite place, but it was familiar and rather pleasing. To his left, Dro’Zagi sat on a dresser, staring down at him with a big toothy grin.
“Good morning, sleeping kitten!” said Dro’Zagi. “Did you enjoy your good time?”
“Good time?” Feliis-Ja asked, “What are you talking about?”
“Aww… don’t tell me you can’t remember!” said Dro’Zagi, “I am certain J’Skarro will remember it for a long time to come.”
J’Skarro? Feliis-Ja struggled to search his still-swimming memories. Ah, yes. J’Skarro. Bartender. Big. Striped. Handsome… oh no.
“What did I do?” Feliis-Ja reluctantly asked.
“Don’t you remember?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“No…” groaned Feliis-Ja.
“Do you remember the part where you came on to him?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“No…” groaned Feliis-Ja.
“Do you remember the part where you licked his face?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“No…” groaned Feliis-Ja.
“Do you remember the part where you wrapped your tail around him?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“No…” groaned Feliis-Ja.
“Do you remember the part where you asked him to marry you?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“WHAT!?” Feliis-Ja suddenly shot alert.
Dro’Zagi laughed heartily. “Only kidding, my friend,” he said. “But not about the face licking. Turns out you’re a very affectionate drunk! And you have interesting “taste” in mates, if you know what I mean, eh? I’d call that a good time, wouldn’t you?”
Feliis-Ja just laid there, motionless. “Ark’ay take me,” he groaned. What had his life come to? He had come to Elsweyr for his mother’s medicine, like a good young man. Instead, he got a new body, a drunken bender, and a big cat boyfriend. What a disaster. And yet, he was almost starting to enjoy himself… and in a way, that made him feel even worse.
As he struggled to gather his thoughts, something occurred to him.
“Wait a minute,” he said, “Dro’Zagi, you are very small.”
“How dare you!” gasped Dro’Zagi.
“You misunderstand.” Feliis-Ja continued, “If you are so small, how did you get me into this bed? You could not possibly have carried me.”
Dro’Zagi smiled. “Oh, well, I had help from your new friend. He was very strong, after all.”
“What!?” yelped Feliis-Ja, “Oh gods, no!” He covered his head with his hands. What had he done to deserve this? He prayed to every god he knew that he would never have to see J’Skarro’s face again.
“By the way,” said Dro’Zagi, “you might want to clean yourself up a bit before you head downstairs. He’s down there waiting for you.”
Feliis-Ja sighed in defeat. “Why is he down there?” he moaned.
“Because it’s his house!” laughed Dro’Zagi. “You didn’t think I had beds to spare in my tiny abode, did you? In point of fact, he didn’t either. You’re sleeping in his bed right now.”
Feliis-Ja sniffed the air. Sure enough, that scent he had smelled was J’Skarro’s scent, which meant that this was indeed his bed… and also that he was attracted to J’Skarro’s scent. …Okay. He had been through so much already that this new revelation didn’t faze him much. “Would it make a good conversation starter?” he wondered.
“Come downstairs when you’re ready” said Dro’Zagi, as he hopped off the dresser.
Feliis-Ja was not ready. He never would be. But at last he went downstairs, where he found J’Skarro waiting.
“Morning, friend!” J’Skarro smiled warmly. “You are looking well for one who drank so heavily.”
“Thank you,” said Feliis-Ja, “You are smelling well, too. Wait, no, I meant looking well... not that you don’t smell well, also.”
“Why… thank you!” J’Skarro gave a confused little laugh. “I try to be… well-groomed when I have visitors. Even ones who have drank themselves comatose.”
“Yes, about that…” Feliis-Ja chuckled nervously, “This one would like to... apologize for his behavior the previous night. He had had a long day, had drunk far too much, and was… not feeling himself. Forgive Feliis-Ja. His behavior was not called for.”
“Oh, please.” J’Skarro waved his hand dismissively. “I’ve had far worse customers. Besides, you were kind of cute.”
“C-cute?” Feliis-Ja could feel himself blushing beneath his fur. “That was not cute, it was foolish drunken antics. This one is very ashamed.”
J’Skarro shook his head with a smile. “Friend, in some parts of Elsweyr, we have a saying. ‘The sugar lets you see.’ Sometimes, it makes you see things. Sometimes, it makes you do things. But always, it makes you learn about yourself. And learning things is not fun, sometimes, but we are always better for it. So, what did you learn last night?”
Feliis-Ja pondered this question.
“Feliis-Ja learned how much he can drink before passing out.”
“What else?” asked J’Skarro.
Feliis-Ja thought some more.
“That he should be far more careful what he drinks.”
“What else? asked J’Skarro.
Feliis-Ja was growing annoyed.
“That… he does stupid things while drunk! What else is there?”
“Think bigger” said J’Skarro. “What did you think before you drank, and what do you think now? What changed?”
Two realizations dawned on Feliis-Ja: The correct answer, and why.
“This one thought that Khajiit were strange-looking, foul smelling, self-serving thieves, not too long ago. But after last night, he found that it wasn’t true. Some Khajiit can be very selfless, very kind, and even quite… well, fragrant… and even… sometimes… handsome. Is that the answer Dro’Zagi wanted me to give you?”
“It’s close enough.” J’Skarro nodded. “He also mentioned something about how ‘even the best of us can make mistakes sometimes’, but I think we can skip that part. I don’t think you’ve made any mistakes at all. I’ve found your company delightful. And on that note, would you like to stay for breakfast?
Feliis-Ja nodded, and smiled. He was quite hungry, but also quite happy. For the first time in a long while, he found himself looking forward to the rest of his day.
Ch 6
J’Skarro prepared a traditional Khajiit breakfast for the two of them. Dro’Zagi, he said, would not be joining them, as he had to go tend to his market stall. Feliis-Ja suspected an ulterior motive, but he didn’t complain. That little cat had caused him more than enough trouble, and he was glad to be rid of him for now.
He soon learned that a traditional Khajiit breakfast was quite different from what he had expected. Fruit, fish, and an odd sort of pudding, no doubt made with moon sugar. A strange combination, but he had not eaten in two days, so he was far too hungry to care. He swiftly devoured his meal, and found that he surprisingly enjoyed the taste of it all. “Must be my new tongue,” he thought.
Having finished his own meal, he sat there watching J’Skarro eat beside him. For such a large, bestial creature, he had a surprisingly delicate way of eating. He took a piece of fruit, dipped it in the pudding, placed it on a piece of fish, then slipped the whole thing into his mouth. It was so… cute. To Feliis-Ja’s shame, he started purring again, which drew J’Skarro’s attention to him.
“Enjoyed your meal did you?” He smiled. “The way you ate, I’d swear you’d never eaten at all!”
Feliis-Ja thought about it. In a way, he hadn’t eaten before. At least not with this body.
J’Skarro took a bit of food from his own plate and placed it on Feliis-Ja’s. “Here,” he said, “Have some more, since you have such an appetite.”
Feliis-Ja graciously accepted, but he felt a little embarrassed. He did not deserve this cat. Gods bless him.
Now, it was J’Skarro’s turn to watch Feliis-Ja eat. J’Skarro clearly had something on his mind, but couldn’t find the words to say it. Eventually, he decided to say it anyway.
“So you find me ‘fragrant’ do you?” he asked.
“Yes,” Feliis-Ja grinned sheepishly. “I cannot explain why, but… your scent is very pleasing to me.”
“Interesting…” J’Skarro calmly pondered this for a moment. “I have heard it said that some Khajiit can identify important individuals through the power of smell. The mane, for instance, can be identified this way at birth. I’m hardly what you’d call ‘important’, though. For most of us our sense of smell just helps us find mates.”
“Mates?” Feliis-Ja did not like where this conversation was going. Or did he?
J’Skarro nodded. “I don’t remember the specifics, but I believe I was taught that if two Khajiit find each other’s scent especially pleasing, then they are destined to be together as mates. For what it’s worth, I find your scent quite pleasing, also.”
“Woah! Slow down, there!” squeaked Feliis-Ja, as his face flushed yet again. Was there anything this cat could say that didn’t embarrass him so?
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” J’Skarro said. “In fact, that’s one of the reasons I let you share my bed last night. The other, of course, was Dro’Zagi.”
“Yes,” began Feliis-Ja, “Dro’Zagi is… wait. What do you mean ‘share’ your bed?”
J’Skarro laughed. “What, did you think I slept on the floor? My bed’s big enough for two. I was right there sleeping beside you the whole time. In fact, I got up just a few minutes before you did. It was a surprisingly comfortable arrangement, I must say. Perhaps we could do it again some time.”
Feliis-Ja was a little upset by this… but also a little aroused.
“J’Skarro, please,” he said. “Yesterday I didn’t know I liked men, let alone Khajiit. Today, we are casually discussing our desire to be mates and sleep together.”
J’Skarro gave a sly grin. “You say ‘we’, which implies that you feel the same way.”
Feliis-Ja stared at J’Skarro in shock. Damn! He was right.
“Okay,” he said, “so suppose we can be mates. There is one problem. This one has a caravan to run. He needs money to pay for his mother’s medicine, and she lives far from here. What should Feliis-Ja do? He cannot possibly stay here.”
“You said your caravan was robbed, yes?” asked J’Skarro
Feliis-Ja nodded in response.
“And I told you I hated my dead end job as a barkeeper,” J’Skarro went on. “So, I don’t suppose you could use a big, strong bodyguard to protect your wares, and maybe keep you company on those lonely nights on the road?”
Feliis-Ja smiled. Yes, this could work. He could definitely use a bodyguard, and J’Skarro definitely had the build, and the brains, and… everything. He liked J’Skarro.
He really liked J’Skarro.
Ch 7
So it was that Feliis-Ja’s caravan resumed its operation, but this time, in the opposite direction. He had, to his mild amusement, become one of those Khajiiti caravans he had so looked down upon. He brought goods from his new home in Elsweyr, and sold them in his old home in Colovia. Sometimes, he saw some of his old friends, and even sold to them. Of course, none of them recognized him, and a few even seemed to scoff at him, filthy beast-man that he was. Feliis-Ja simply laughed at them. If only they knew.
By day he was an honest tradesman (as honest as a Khajiit could be), and J’Skarro was his strong, loyal bodyguard. But by night, they were something more. They drank, and they laughed, and they’d dance through town to the annoyance of others, but to the delight of each other. Some nights, they’d wander into the countryside, and watch the moon and stars together. And when they grew tired, they’d sleep together, which as J’Skarro said was a surprisingly comfortable arrangement. J’Skarro taught Fellis-Ja what he knew of Elsweyr, and Feliis-Ja taught J’Skarro what he knew of Cyrodiil. He had even (re)learned how to call himself “I” and “Me” in polite conversation. Finally, he had found the good time Dro’Zagi had promised him.
He wasn’t rich, by any means. Being a cat among men didn’t pay like being a man among cats. But he made enough to support himself and his new mate, and he supposed that would have to do.
But one day, he saw a familiar face in the market.
She passed him by without a second thought. Her face was worn and haggard, and she looked very ill. She was so pale, Feliis-Ja almost didn’t recognize her. But her scent was unmistakable. It was his mother.
What could he say to her? “Hello, mother! I’m a cat now! Would you like to meet my boyfriend?”
No. Her body was too frail. If she found out her only son had been turned into a cat, she might die of shock on the spot. He figured it was best to leave her alone. But he could not bear to see her suffering…
That night, he snuck away from his caravan, and went to his mother’s old home, where he had lived for so many years. He was fortunate to still have his old key. He snuck inside, and crept up to her bedside with the silent footsteps only a feline can achieve. For once, he was grateful for his new body.
He placed a small leather pouch on her nightstand. Inside was enough coin to pay for her medicine for a month’s time, and a note. He had struggled to keep his old handwriting with his furry, clawed fingers, but he hoped she would recognize it was from him. Before he left, he leaned down to give her one last kiss on the cheek. His instincts made him give her a lick instead. Close enough.
When he returned to the caravan, he was surprised to find J’Skarro awake, and not just awake, but panicking.
“Where have you been!?” J’Skarro yelled. “While you were away, our caravan was robbed!”
“Robbed?” gasped Feliis-Ja. “What was taken?”
“Nearly all of the gold we have made on this trip.” Said J’Skarro. “We must catch the thief quickly, or our entire trip back to Elsweyr will be made on empty stomachs!”
Feliis-Ja sighed. He had hoped to avoid this conversation, but now he had no choice.
“J’Skarro,” he said “I took the gold.”
“You WHAT!?” J’Skarro gave him a hurt look. “How could you do such a thing? You knew how much we needed that money. What could you have possibly done with it that was more important that our next meal?”
“I gave it to my mother for medicine, J’Skarro.” Feliis-Ja instinctively flattened his ears.
“Liar!” growled J’Skarro. “There is not one Khajiit in this town besides the two of us. Your mother does not live here.”
“J’Skarro,” said Feliis-Ja, “My mother is human.”
J’Skarro hissed. “Do you think I’m stupid? I’ve read Racial Phylogeny. Humans cannot give birth to cats!”
Feliis-Ja shut his eyes. He had dreaded having this conversation for a long time.
“J’Skarro, I was not always a Khajiit. I used to be human. I used to live here.”
“What!?” J’Skarro shouted. “You used to be human?”
“Did the part where I used to hate Khajiit not make that obvious?” Feliis-Ja asked.
“I just thought you had a bad case of self-loathing. It was not an unreasonable thing to assume, given your attitude at the time.”
Feliis-Ja shrugged. J’Skarro had a point.
J’Skarro still did not believe Feliis-Ja. “But if you were human, how did you become Khajiit?” he asked.
“It was Dro’Zagi,” Feliis-Ja said. “He tricked me into drinking a potion which transformed my body against my will. Although, aside from the horrible agony of my innards reshaping themselves, it hasn’t been so bad.”
J’Skarro shook his head. “I think you are a liar. I cannot believe you would do something like this. Let us go and see your so-called mother then, and we will find out the truth.”
“No!” yelped Feliis-Ja. “My mother is old and frail. If she were to hear her son’s voice coming from a cat’s body, she would surely die of fright.”
J’Skarro grunted. “Then what do you propose we do?”
“We will return to Elsweyr” suggested Feliis-Ja. “Dro’Zagi himself can clear the issue up for us.”
“Return to Elsweyr coinless and with no food? I think not!” J’Skarro snarled. “I will not allow my own belly to sit empty because of your foolishness.”
“In that case,” said Feelis-Ja, “You should keep what little provisions we have left for yourself. You are right, J’Skarro. I was foolish, so I should be the one to suffer the consequences.”
Their trip back to Elsweyr was silent, except for the rumbling of Feliis-Ja’s empty stomach.
Ch 8
It was a hot Tirdas morning as Feliis-Ja’s caravan rolled into Elsweyr. It had been a hot Morndas too, and he knew it would be a hot Middas tomorrow. But this time, he didn’t mind so much. There were a few reasons for this. First, his new body was more suited to it. Second, he had grown used to the heat during his time here. Third, he had far bigger things on his mind.
J’Skarro had insisted they go straight to Dro’Zagi’s stall, despite Feliis-Ja’s protests that they find something to eat first.
Feliis-Ja approached Dro’Zagi first, but J’Skarro pushed him aside. He pointed to Feliis-Ja, and asked:
“Was he human?”
Dro’Zagi laughed. “Human? I’ve never seen a human with a tail like his before. What on earth makes you say such a thing?”
J’Skarro folded his arms. “He says his mother was human. I say he is either a liar or a servant of Sheggorath, and I know not which is worse.”
Dro’Zagi eyed J’Skarro curiously. “What will you do if he lies?”
“I will leave him to run his caravan alone.” J’Skarro huffed.
“And what will you do if he is mad?” Dro’Zagi asked.
“The same.” said J’skarro.
“And what will you do if he is telling the truth?” Dro’Zagi asked with a little smile.
A blank expression flashed across J’Skarro’s face. “I don’t know. I had not considered that possibility. …Nothing I suppose. Who he was does not change who he is. But surely what he says is not true.”
Dro’Zagi shook his head. “The Dreugh spends many years swimming in the sea before it sprouts legs and walks upon the land. Those who bear the mark of Hircine grow and shed their furs on a nightly basis. Who are you to say he did not undergo such a metamorphosis?”
“I cannot say,” said J’Skarro, “But you can. He claims you were the one who changed him.”
Dro’Zagi sighed. “Dear me, Feliis-Ja, you really cannot keep a secret can you? Yes, I gave him the means to change his form, so that he might find himself more… at home among the Khajiiti people. Given that I can smell his scent on you, and yours on him, I’d say it’s worked very well. Which means we can begin discussing the matter of price…”
Feliis-Ja tried to change the subject.
“See, J’Skarro? I told you I was telling the truth.”
“What does he mean ‘price’?” J’Skarro frowned. “Don’t tell me we’ve just gone from broke to in debt.”
“Broke?” Dro’Zagi glanced at Feliis-Ja. “Oh dear, my friend, what have you done this time?”
J’Skarro frowned. “He gave all our profits to his mother to buy medicine. We have had nothing to eat for almost a week! Well… he hasn’t.”
Dro’Zagi gave a hearty laugh. “You silly kitten! Those Imperial alchemists are so overpriced. Fortunately for you, I know of a far more affordable alchemist nearby.”
“Really?” said Feliis-Ja. “Where is he?”
Dro’Zagi laughed even harder. “You are talking to him! Dro’Zagi has the cure for many things, friend. Even, I think, your finances.”
Not long after that day, the people of Cyrodiil began to tell tales of the marvelous potions and cure-alls sold by two mysterious cat-men. It was said that there was nothing their elixirs couldn’t cure, and for fair prices, too. Well… fair for Khajiit at least. Sometimes, people would ask about the strange vials of medicine the shorter cat had on his shelves. But always, he would tell them “not for sale”. Then , if they passed by the next day, they might notice the vials were gone. Where they went, only he knew.
Some days, the little old woman on the edge of town would find a mysterious package on her doorstep. Inside, it was always the same. A few vials of medicine, and a note from someone claiming to be her son. The notes always smelled of an animal smell, and she often found a few stray bits of fur, or even a whisker among the vials. She didn’t know what to make of it, but the medicine was good, so she chose to believe her mysterious benefactor was indeed her son. She longed to see him again, but she was at least glad that he still remembered her. Such a good young man she had raised. Just like a proper Colovian.
For their part, Feliis-Ja and J’Skarro saw their profits more than double. However, as part of their deal, half of their profits went back to Dro’Zagi, and so in fact they mostly stayed the same. Neither of them minded too much, though. They had their caravan, and they had each other, and for them that was enough.
One night, as the two of them lay together and watched the moons, a thought occurred to Feliis-Ja. What Dro’Zagi had said to him that day… it was true. Men could learn so much from Khajiit, but Khajiit could learn so much from Men, too. Now, he was living the best of both their worlds, and loving every minute.
“Thank you, Dro’Zagi.” He whispered.
J’Skarro overheard him – sensitive cat ears and all.
“Yes,” he said. “My uncle is quite a wonderful man, isn’t he?”
Feliis-Ja nodded. Then, he lay his head on J’Skarro’s chest, and fell fast asleep. As he drifted off, he began to purr again, but this time, he didn’t mind.
I wrote this two years ago for my ESO guild, which has sadly since disbanded. If any former members of Fuzzy Wumpkins are reading this: Hi! I miss you all.
This was in fact my first ever attempt at writing "fanfic", although I don't know if you can really call it that. It's a short-ish story set in the Elder Scrolls universe, about a man who turns into a khajiit, gets drunk, finds love, and all that jazz.
Note that while I'm pretty sure this is tame enough for General rating, please correct me if I'm wrong.
This story contains:
• Human to Khajiit TF
• A wholesome and romantic gay Khajiit relationship
• Some drunken antics
• So many lore-accurate details it'll make you CHIM
• 7619 words, divided into micro-chapters for easier reading, and definitely not because it took me like a week to write it originally (I write slow, ok?)
I will now proceed to break my enter key formating this story for FA.
An adventure in ElsweyrCh 1
It was a hot Tirdas morning as Felis’s caravan rolled into Elsweyr. It had been a hot Morndas too, and he knew it would be a hot Middas tomorrow. It was always hot in Elsweyr. To be frank, he hated it here. He would much rather be home in Colovia, tending to his mother. But, someone had to pay for her medicine, and the alchemist wasn’t cheap. So it was that week after week, month after month, he begrudgingly hauled himself deep into the desert, to peddle his wares to the cats. They were an odd people, with strange voices, strange faces, and those strange clawed sausages they called “fingers” on their hands. He found their tails particularly unsettling, the way they waggled about, and he couldn’t stand the way they called themselves “this one”. But they paid well for his wares, and bought them all too eagerly. That was what mattered, or so he told himself.
As his caravan rolled into Riverhold, a cat in armor gestured for him to stop, and began to inspect his wares. Felis rolled his eyes. For all he trusted these cats, this one was sizing him up to steal from later.
“Here to sell?” The cat asked.
“Yes.” Felis sighed, uninterested.
“There’s a stall open in the southwest corner of the marketplace. You can set up shop there.” said the cat. Then it pointed toward the stall, and gestured for him to move along. Felis was all too eager to do so.
Soon enough, he found the empty stall, and began to place his wares upon the shelves. As he did so, he observed the merchandise being sold at the stalls around him. To his left, incense, to his right, jewelry, and rugs adjacent to him. “The goods of simpletons,” he thought. As he continued to unpack, the thought lingered in his mind. Was there not anything here worth buying for a cultured man like himself? After a while, the irritation turned to curiosity, and he left his stall to have a look around.
Up and down the aisles he went, eyeing every stall, yet nothing caught his eye. Breads baked with moon sugar. Crude blades crafted with moon designs. None of the wares caught his attention. But then, one of the shopkeepers did.
It sat in a small, quiet stall on the end of the row. It looked to be selling potions. But that wasn’t what caught Felis’s eye. He was enthralled by the fact that, against all belief, this shop was run by a tiny housecat in a turban, sitting on a high stool. It was bizarre. It was adorable. Felis couldn’t help himself.
“Hi, kitty!” He said, a goofy grin on his face.
It looked up at him. It blinked. Then, to his shock, it spoke.
“Oh, dear,” it said, “here we have another one.”
Felis was shocked. “You can talk!?” He gasped.
“Yes, of course I can talk, you Imperial Imbecile!” It snapped at him.
Felis might’ve been insulted, were he not still so confused. “But how?” He asked, “You’re a cat!”
The little cat sighed, and pondered whether it should bother to respond. But at last, it decided to do so.
“I am as much a cat as you are a cave troll,” it said, “which I hope is to say, not at all. I am Alfiq, and woe is me, for my mind is far greater than my body suggests. For many years, I studied alchemy. For many hours each day, I toil working the mortar and pestle with my paws. And yet, when I come to sell my wares, some human fool approaches without fail, and coos at me, and clicks his tongue, and says ‘here kitty, kitty, would you like a treat?’ Bastards! The only treat I want is the cold hard coin to feed my family, for they have far larger bodies and stomachs than I!”
Felis was utterly stunned. This was one eloquent cat. He didn’t know what to say, but he felt he should apologize.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, “I’ve never heard of you… All-Feek.”
“Yes, well, that is not much surprise,” it said to him. “Most of the Khajiit that bother to make their way up to Cyrodiil are the ones with flat feet, and spindly tails, and a skooma addiction that lands them in prison, where no one can see them. And, as that paints such a lovely picture of us, those few Imperials that bother to make their way down here are only too eager to leave. You, I sense, are no exception, yes?”
Felis didn’t know what to say, but his silence answered for him.
“I thought not,” the Alfiq said. Then it sighed. “It is a shame we are… so ignorant of each other. I sense there is much we could teach each other. But we both choose not to concern ourselves with the affairs of what we deem ‘lesser people’. Isn’t that sad?”
Felis gently nodded. “Yeah,” he said, “I guess it is. You know, I’ve never really liked it here, like you said, but… maybe I haven’t been giving it a fair chance.”
The Alfiq’s eyes perked up and it broke into a feline grin. “Ah!” it said “I believe I can help with that.” It hopped off its chair and rummaged around its stall. Then, it grabbed a potion in its mouth, and set it on the table.
“I have saved this potion for a… receptive outsider. Its effects are potent, and guaranteed to be… enlightening.”
“What’s in it?” asked Felis, nervously.
“Well,” pondered the Alfiq, “It’s mostly moon sugar.”
Felis shook his head. “No thanks. I don’t do… substances.”
“Ah,” the Alfiq chuckled, “but this is not skooma. It is my own special blend. To drink this is to understand Elsweyr as Khajiit do. And it can be yours… for a small price.”
“I don’t know…” said Felis. Those words sounded vaguely ominous to him.
“Come on.” said the Alfiq. “You are here now. Why not enjoy yourself? I promise you a good time. The Khajiit way.”
Felis shook his head and turned to leave. At this, the Alfiq leapt up on the table.
“Wait!” It shouted, “I’ll make you a deal. Drink now, pay later. Find me at my stall tomorrow. If your… experience is not satisfactory, pay nothing. Deal?”
Reluctantly, Felis took the potion, and made his way back to his stall. “Why does that cat care so much about this potion?” he wondered.
“By the way,” the Alfiq shouted after him, “My name is Dro’Zagi! Remember that, if you need to find me later!”
Felis didn’t like the sound of that, but he shook it off, and kept walking. He didn’t want to see that cat again, and he hoped to all the gods he wouldn’t need to.
Ch 2
When Felis got back to his stall, he was shocked by what he found. In hindsight, he shouldn’t have been.
Everything was gone. Not a single trinket remained on any shelf. He was almost surprised they didn’t steal his horse. He expected better of these people… but then he realized that no, he didn’t. His shock quickly turned to anger, and he stormed off in search of a guard.
He came barreling down on the first one he saw, and practically screamed in his face.
“Excuse me, sir,” he spat, “but would you care to explain how my entire caravan has been robbed in my brief absence?”
“’Brief Absence’?” the guard chuckled, “oh dear, sir, you should never leave goods unattended in such a busy market. This one fears there is naught he can do about it.”
Felis recognized the guard’s voice. This was the one who had guided him into the city, and told him where to set up his stall. And he recognized something else, too. A piece of his jewelry was worn around the guard’s neck. He couldn’t contain his anger. He reached out to snatch the necklace, which was just what the guard wanted.
“My goodness! Assault!” said the guard. “This man is trying to strangle me with his bare hands! I fear I must now imprison you, until you can better control yourself!”
With that, he grabbed Felis by the wrists, and escorted him to the town jail. It was cold, dark, and there wasn’t a soul inside it, not even a watchman. The guard threw him in a cell, locked it tight, and left him there alone.
Felis just sat there for a while, holding his head in his hands. It was all he could do not to cry. Damn these cats! They had taken everything from him! All he wanted was the coin to care for his mother, and now he was left with nothing!
Well, not exactly nothing. A lump in his pocket reminded him of that. That stupid potion, from that stupid little house cat! “A good time, the Khajiit way” indeed! He pulled it from his pocket, and nearly thought to smash it on the floor. But he stopped himself, and just stared at it. What did he have to lose? He undid the lid and took a sniff. It smelled sweet. Moon sugar, probably. Gingerly, he held it to his lips, and took a sip.
Not bad. Sweet, a little… fragrant? It tasted good enough for him to down the rest of it. Then, he waited for the “good time” to happen. But it never did.
“Stupid cat,” he said to himself. “This one should’ve known he was wasting his time.”
…What did he say?
“Damnit!” he thought to himself, “This one is starting to talk like them, too! Just what he needs!”
He did it again! This was very strange, and starting to get on his nerves. He resolved to speak his thoughts aloud until he could again communicate like a proper Colovian. He cleared his thoughts, cleared his throat, opened his mouth, and said:
“Felis is a proper Colovian. He has learned how to speak like a normal human being, and not like some smelly feline.”
For some reason, he couldn’t help but speak a little differently than he had before. He rolled his “R”s a little more, and spoke his vowels a bit sharper. He found that very worrying. He decided to try speaking again, but this time, he was going to try really hard not to do that.
“Felis is a proper Colovian. He has learned how to speak like a normal Khajiit… Felis is a proper Khajiit… Feliis-Ja is a proper Khajiit! Help! Somebody help!”
He was fully in a panic now. His words were no longer his own!
“Somebody! Anybody!” He screamed. Then, he remembered a name. “Dro’Zagi, please, help!”
On cue, a little feline shape jumped into the window of his cell. A glowing green pair of eyes stared down at him.
“Are you understanding Elsweyr yet?” Dro’Zagi asked.
“This one is not understanding much of anything at the moment!” Felis groaned. “Is this your idea of a good time?”
“No, my friend,” Said Dro’Zagi, “the good time is just about to start. But, I’m afraid there may be a bit of a bad time first.”
“What do you…” Felis was interrupred by a horrible pain in his stomach. It was agonizing, and it rapidly spread. He swore he could feel his insides moving around. He tightly clutched his stomach with his hands, and felt even more pain, as claws dug into his flesh. His claws.
“Dro’Zagi,” he cried, “Please, no!”
“I’m sorry, my friend,” said Dro’Zagi, “but I told you to meet me tomorrow if you weren’t satisfied. Until then, I’ll be waiting. Remember, the good time is coming…”
With that, Dro’Zagi leapt from the windowsill, leaving Felis alone. Quickly, the pain became too much for him, and he fell unconscious.
Ch 3
When Felis woke again, he was groggy, and didn’t feel well. But he knew instantly that something was wrong with him. Quite a few somethings, in fact. It was dark, but he could see things quite a bit better than he should. It was quiet, but he could hear things quite a bit better than he should. He was surrounded by odorless stone, and yet an orgy of strange new smells assaulted him. But those things all paled in comparison to what he felt.
He was almost completely overwhelmed by the sensations of his new body. His rough tongue ran across rows of sharp teeth. His ears sat atop his head, swiveling toward every sound. A long, thin tail dangled behind him. And there was So. Much. FUR.
“Make it stop,” he thought to himself. “Make it go away. Somebody, end this one’s torment!”
His torment was ended by the sound of his cell door opening. The guard had returned from the night before.
“What the...!” said the guard, “Who are you? What are you doing in here?”
“This one is… Feliis-Ja.” Felis – er… Feliis-Ja stammered out. “He was, ah, put in here.”
“But, you’re not supposed to be here,” said the guard. “There was supposed to be… someone else.”
“If Feliis-Ja is not supposed to be here, why don’t you let him go?” he asked.
The guard nodded his agreement, and brought Feliis-Ja to his feet. As he did so something felt off…
Oh. He had paws now. Of course.
He tried to act normally as he followed the guard, but gods the sensation of walking on paws was overwhelming. The guard took notice of his struggling to move.
The guard brought his face close to Feliis-Ja. “Open your mouth,” he said, “and exhale.”
Feliis-Ja did as instructed, exposing his –ugh– fangs for all the world to see. The guard took a whiff of his breath, and nodded.
“Thought so,” he said. “Moon sugar. That would explain why you were in there. I hope you’ve learned your lessen about that stuff. It can do nasty things to you, if you’re not careful.”
Feliis-Ja sighed, and nodded his head. “Yes, this one has learned his lesson, he thinks. His experience thus far has been… most unpleasant.”
Now that he was officially a free man- er, cat, Feliis-Ja’s first order of business was to return to Dro’Zagi’s market stall, and get this whole thing sorted out. But if simply walking had overwhelmed him, the sounds and smells of the market threatened to knock him dead. The smells of incense, moon sugar, and cat fur blended together and assailed his sensitive nostrils. All around him, merchants and peddlers screamed about this and that till his pointed ears rang.
At last, he staggered his way to Dro’Zagi’s stall, looking very much the worse for wear. The little Alfiq smiled, expecting him, but not his haggard expression.
“My friend!” said Dro’Zagi, “are you having a good time yet?”
“Tell Feliis-Ja why he should not claw your eyes out right here.” He growled.
“I take it that’s a no?” Dro’Zagi chuckled.
“Turn Feliis-Ja back.” He said bluntly. “He does not wish to live as this… animal. The smell alone is enough to drive him mad.”
“But my friend,” said Dro’Zagi, “the good times haven’t started yet! You are just going through an… adjustment period, is all. Changing species will do that to you. Still, you are taking it far harder than I imagined. Come, then, and let us explore this town as you explore your new self. Good times will come, friend, you just have to look for them!”
“The last thing this one wants to do is… explore himself.” huffed Feliis-Ja. “He has learned far too much about Khajiit anatomy as it is. Besides, you have a shop to run.”
“Nonsense!” Dro’Zagi laughed, eagerly leaping from his stool. “My shop will be fine. None would try to rob such a powerful mage as I. Besides, I grow tired of sitting on that little stool all day. I need to stretch my legs just as much as you need to break in yours. Now come, let us have some excitement. Let us have a good time, the Khajiit way.”
Reluctantly, Feliis-Ja resolved to follow Dro’Zagi as he merrily trotted through the market. As they passed an empty stall, Dro’Zagi suddenly stopped. Then, he turned around, lept up on the counter, then lept again onto Feliis-Ja’s shoulder.
“Whew!” laughed Dro’Zagi, “Such a long walk for such little paws. Much more comfortable up here, and a much better view, yes? All the better to give directions to one so unfamiliar with this place.”
Feliis-Ja grumbled, but had to admit Dro’Zagi had a point, so he reluctantly continued on.
“By the way,” whispered Dro’Zagi “as an alchemist, I know a thing or two about biology. If you have any, ah, questions about your new body, feel free to ask.”
In truth, Feliis-Ja did have many questions, but he didn’t really want to know the answers to them. Still, there was one that nagged at the back of his mind too greatly to ignore.
“Have you read The Real Barenziah?” he asked.
“Of course!” said Dro’Zagi.
“The uncensored version?” asked Feliis-Ja.
“Is there any other version?” Dro’Zagi chuckled.
Feliis-Ja lowered his voice to a low whisper, fearing the question itself as much as he feared others hearing it.
“That part in chapter three… is it true?”
“Ah, you mean, about Therris?” Dro’Zagi laughed. Then he nodded. “Yes, it’s as true for him as it’s true for you, I’m afraid. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it sooner or later. I suppose it all depends on how much you drink.”
Feliis-Ja’s felt his face flush. Oh GODS, why had he bothered to ask!? Then, another unpleasant question crossed his mind. He figured he had better learn the answer now, rather than later.
“Dro’Zagi,” he asked, “where do Khajiit, ah… spill their skooma?”
“Vomit?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“No…” said Feliis-Ja sheepishly, “other end.”
“We live in a desert, my friend.” said Dro’Zagi.
“So?” asked Feliis-Ja.
Dro’Zagi gave a sly little grin. “One big litter box.”
Feliis-Ja sighed. He was left with only one thought.
“S’rendarr, have mercy.”
Ch 4
Feliis-Ja’s head swam with thoughts he’d rather not be thinking, and knowledge he’d rather not know. “This must be how Hermora’s victims feel,” he thought “though certainly much furrier.”
Still feeling overwhelmed, Feliis-Ja had decided that what he needed right now was a few good, strong drinks. Dro’Zagi had been all too happy to tell him the location of Riverhold’s finest tavern (“Now that’s a good time!”) and so they headed there.
The tavern smelled strongly of old wood, alcohol, and cat. Then again, so did everything around here. Feliis-Ja was surprised by how crowded it was for this time of day. The tables, the stools, and sometimes even the floors were occupied by Khajiit of every shape and size. He was surprised by how much they varied in appearance. Tall and short, large and thin, striped and spotted. Such alien creatures they were to him, and yet, he was one of them now. That made him feel strange. He didn’t belong here, and yet… he did. Timidly, he stepped inside and approached the counter.
“Drink first,” he said to himself, “existential crisis later.”
“Warm sands, friend!” came the boisterous laugh of the bartender. “Warm sands, and cold drinks. The secret to a good time the Khajiit way, yes? What can I get you?”
“This one would like, uh, something strong…” Feliis-Ja stammered. He was caught off guard by the bartender’s appearance. He was a tall, burly creature, with bright orange fur and stripes like a tiger. He had long hair, and sharp features, but a friendly expression on his face. He was imposing, intimidating, and handsome.
“Handsome!?” Feliis-Ja caught himself. “I did not just think that about a cat.” He pushed the thought to the back of his mind with all his power.
“And what about you?” the bartender asked Dro’Zagi.
The sound of his voice snapped Feliis-Ja back to reality.
“I’ll have what he’s having.” Said Dro’Zagi.
“I have just the thing.” The bartender said. He swiftly turned around, plucked a bottle from the shelf, and began to fill two glasses. Feliis-Ja noticed that he seemed to enjoy his work. He hummed to himself quietly as he poured, and his tail swished about to the rhythm.
“That’s cute.” Said Dro’Zagi.
“It is.” Said Feliis-Ja. “I-I mean, what is?”
Dro’Zagi pointed a little paw at Feliis-Ja’s rear. “Your tail is copying his.”
“Ack!” Feliis-Ja reached back and grabbed his tail. A bad idea in hindsight, as he was still quite unused to the sensation of having one. His face was now so red hot he felt he might pop. It only got worse when the bartender took notice.
“You alright there friend?” His chuckle mixed with genuine concern.
Feliis-Ja stared at him, wide eyed, then nodded sheepishy. “This one is fine,” he said “Just had a little… discomfort in his tail is all.”
“Well, fear not!” he said as he handed the two their drinks, “This brew is sure to help with that. Drink up!”
Feliis-Ja sniffed the drink cautiously, then took a single, tiny sip. He remembered well what had happed the last time he had drunk something without proper consideration. Still, the brew had a pleasant aroma and taste, no doubt sweetened by moon sugar. And he felt fairly confident it was not a magic potion. So he drank until he had downed the whole thing.
“That was marvelous!” he said. “Bartender, another!”
“Certainly, sir,” said the bartender, “but please, call me J’Skarro.”
“Very well, J’Skarro.” Said Feliis-Ja.
This J’skarro seemed a friendly sort. Feliis-Ja decided he might as well make conversation.
“Do you like it here J’Skarro?”
“What, Riverhold?” J’Skarro replied. “It’s a nice place. Lots of stuff for sale, many pleasant smells, cheap housing. Surprisingly hard to find good work, though. Being a bartender here is a dead end job. High hours, low pay. But I like it well enough, I suppose.”
Feliis-Ja nodded. “At least you have steady income. This one’s caravan was robbed blind the prior day.”
The two conversed for a while longer, having a few laughs and a few more drinks. Feliis-Ja felt happy for the first time in a good few days. It was almost enough to make him forget his current predicament… almost.
Not long after he had downed his third drink, Feliis-Ja began to feel warm and tingly. His thoughts began to drift back to J’Skarro. He just sat there for a while, watching the bartender tend his bar in silence – or so he thought.
“Enjoying yourself?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“I suppose.” Said Feliis-Ja. “Why?”
Dro’Zagi grinned. “You’re purring.”
Feliis-Ja gasped. His hand shot to his throat. Sure enough, he felt vibrations. Curse this feline body!
“J’Skarro!” said Dro’Zagi, “Another for my friend here!”
“N-no!” stammered Feliis-Ja, “I’ve had plenty!”
“No he hasn’t. Give him more.” Dro’Zagi said with a sly grin.
J’Skarro handed Feliis-Ja another drink.
“But why?” Feliis-Ja asked.
“Because,” Dro’Zagi whispered to him, “We are trying to show you a good time, the Khajiit way. But the human you doesn’t want that. So, we have to make him go away for a little while, in order to let the Khajiit you have a chance to shine. Trust me. You’ll see it was worth it.”
Feliis-Ja did not trust Dro’Zagi. But he found himself finding it harder and harder to care. The more he drank, the more he wanted to drink. And the more he wanted to drink, the more he wanted to be served by that big, handsome bartender…
Feliis-Ja’s faculties were fast beginning to fail him. He reached a hand over the bar, placed it on J’Skarro’s shoulder, and said:
“J’Skarro, have I mentioned how fragrant you are?”
He could remember nothing else of the night.
Ch 5
Feliis-Ja awoke with a terrible headache. It took all his energy to lift his head and examine his surroundings. He was in a modest, but comfortable bed, in an unfamiliar room. There was a scent in the air that he couldn’t quite place, but it was familiar and rather pleasing. To his left, Dro’Zagi sat on a dresser, staring down at him with a big toothy grin.
“Good morning, sleeping kitten!” said Dro’Zagi. “Did you enjoy your good time?”
“Good time?” Feliis-Ja asked, “What are you talking about?”
“Aww… don’t tell me you can’t remember!” said Dro’Zagi, “I am certain J’Skarro will remember it for a long time to come.”
J’Skarro? Feliis-Ja struggled to search his still-swimming memories. Ah, yes. J’Skarro. Bartender. Big. Striped. Handsome… oh no.
“What did I do?” Feliis-Ja reluctantly asked.
“Don’t you remember?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“No…” groaned Feliis-Ja.
“Do you remember the part where you came on to him?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“No…” groaned Feliis-Ja.
“Do you remember the part where you licked his face?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“No…” groaned Feliis-Ja.
“Do you remember the part where you wrapped your tail around him?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“No…” groaned Feliis-Ja.
“Do you remember the part where you asked him to marry you?” asked Dro’Zagi.
“WHAT!?” Feliis-Ja suddenly shot alert.
Dro’Zagi laughed heartily. “Only kidding, my friend,” he said. “But not about the face licking. Turns out you’re a very affectionate drunk! And you have interesting “taste” in mates, if you know what I mean, eh? I’d call that a good time, wouldn’t you?”
Feliis-Ja just laid there, motionless. “Ark’ay take me,” he groaned. What had his life come to? He had come to Elsweyr for his mother’s medicine, like a good young man. Instead, he got a new body, a drunken bender, and a big cat boyfriend. What a disaster. And yet, he was almost starting to enjoy himself… and in a way, that made him feel even worse.
As he struggled to gather his thoughts, something occurred to him.
“Wait a minute,” he said, “Dro’Zagi, you are very small.”
“How dare you!” gasped Dro’Zagi.
“You misunderstand.” Feliis-Ja continued, “If you are so small, how did you get me into this bed? You could not possibly have carried me.”
Dro’Zagi smiled. “Oh, well, I had help from your new friend. He was very strong, after all.”
“What!?” yelped Feliis-Ja, “Oh gods, no!” He covered his head with his hands. What had he done to deserve this? He prayed to every god he knew that he would never have to see J’Skarro’s face again.
“By the way,” said Dro’Zagi, “you might want to clean yourself up a bit before you head downstairs. He’s down there waiting for you.”
Feliis-Ja sighed in defeat. “Why is he down there?” he moaned.
“Because it’s his house!” laughed Dro’Zagi. “You didn’t think I had beds to spare in my tiny abode, did you? In point of fact, he didn’t either. You’re sleeping in his bed right now.”
Feliis-Ja sniffed the air. Sure enough, that scent he had smelled was J’Skarro’s scent, which meant that this was indeed his bed… and also that he was attracted to J’Skarro’s scent. …Okay. He had been through so much already that this new revelation didn’t faze him much. “Would it make a good conversation starter?” he wondered.
“Come downstairs when you’re ready” said Dro’Zagi, as he hopped off the dresser.
Feliis-Ja was not ready. He never would be. But at last he went downstairs, where he found J’Skarro waiting.
“Morning, friend!” J’Skarro smiled warmly. “You are looking well for one who drank so heavily.”
“Thank you,” said Feliis-Ja, “You are smelling well, too. Wait, no, I meant looking well... not that you don’t smell well, also.”
“Why… thank you!” J’Skarro gave a confused little laugh. “I try to be… well-groomed when I have visitors. Even ones who have drank themselves comatose.”
“Yes, about that…” Feliis-Ja chuckled nervously, “This one would like to... apologize for his behavior the previous night. He had had a long day, had drunk far too much, and was… not feeling himself. Forgive Feliis-Ja. His behavior was not called for.”
“Oh, please.” J’Skarro waved his hand dismissively. “I’ve had far worse customers. Besides, you were kind of cute.”
“C-cute?” Feliis-Ja could feel himself blushing beneath his fur. “That was not cute, it was foolish drunken antics. This one is very ashamed.”
J’Skarro shook his head with a smile. “Friend, in some parts of Elsweyr, we have a saying. ‘The sugar lets you see.’ Sometimes, it makes you see things. Sometimes, it makes you do things. But always, it makes you learn about yourself. And learning things is not fun, sometimes, but we are always better for it. So, what did you learn last night?”
Feliis-Ja pondered this question.
“Feliis-Ja learned how much he can drink before passing out.”
“What else?” asked J’Skarro.
Feliis-Ja thought some more.
“That he should be far more careful what he drinks.”
“What else? asked J’Skarro.
Feliis-Ja was growing annoyed.
“That… he does stupid things while drunk! What else is there?”
“Think bigger” said J’Skarro. “What did you think before you drank, and what do you think now? What changed?”
Two realizations dawned on Feliis-Ja: The correct answer, and why.
“This one thought that Khajiit were strange-looking, foul smelling, self-serving thieves, not too long ago. But after last night, he found that it wasn’t true. Some Khajiit can be very selfless, very kind, and even quite… well, fragrant… and even… sometimes… handsome. Is that the answer Dro’Zagi wanted me to give you?”
“It’s close enough.” J’Skarro nodded. “He also mentioned something about how ‘even the best of us can make mistakes sometimes’, but I think we can skip that part. I don’t think you’ve made any mistakes at all. I’ve found your company delightful. And on that note, would you like to stay for breakfast?
Feliis-Ja nodded, and smiled. He was quite hungry, but also quite happy. For the first time in a long while, he found himself looking forward to the rest of his day.
Ch 6
J’Skarro prepared a traditional Khajiit breakfast for the two of them. Dro’Zagi, he said, would not be joining them, as he had to go tend to his market stall. Feliis-Ja suspected an ulterior motive, but he didn’t complain. That little cat had caused him more than enough trouble, and he was glad to be rid of him for now.
He soon learned that a traditional Khajiit breakfast was quite different from what he had expected. Fruit, fish, and an odd sort of pudding, no doubt made with moon sugar. A strange combination, but he had not eaten in two days, so he was far too hungry to care. He swiftly devoured his meal, and found that he surprisingly enjoyed the taste of it all. “Must be my new tongue,” he thought.
Having finished his own meal, he sat there watching J’Skarro eat beside him. For such a large, bestial creature, he had a surprisingly delicate way of eating. He took a piece of fruit, dipped it in the pudding, placed it on a piece of fish, then slipped the whole thing into his mouth. It was so… cute. To Feliis-Ja’s shame, he started purring again, which drew J’Skarro’s attention to him.
“Enjoyed your meal did you?” He smiled. “The way you ate, I’d swear you’d never eaten at all!”
Feliis-Ja thought about it. In a way, he hadn’t eaten before. At least not with this body.
J’Skarro took a bit of food from his own plate and placed it on Feliis-Ja’s. “Here,” he said, “Have some more, since you have such an appetite.”
Feliis-Ja graciously accepted, but he felt a little embarrassed. He did not deserve this cat. Gods bless him.
Now, it was J’Skarro’s turn to watch Feliis-Ja eat. J’Skarro clearly had something on his mind, but couldn’t find the words to say it. Eventually, he decided to say it anyway.
“So you find me ‘fragrant’ do you?” he asked.
“Yes,” Feliis-Ja grinned sheepishly. “I cannot explain why, but… your scent is very pleasing to me.”
“Interesting…” J’Skarro calmly pondered this for a moment. “I have heard it said that some Khajiit can identify important individuals through the power of smell. The mane, for instance, can be identified this way at birth. I’m hardly what you’d call ‘important’, though. For most of us our sense of smell just helps us find mates.”
“Mates?” Feliis-Ja did not like where this conversation was going. Or did he?
J’Skarro nodded. “I don’t remember the specifics, but I believe I was taught that if two Khajiit find each other’s scent especially pleasing, then they are destined to be together as mates. For what it’s worth, I find your scent quite pleasing, also.”
“Woah! Slow down, there!” squeaked Feliis-Ja, as his face flushed yet again. Was there anything this cat could say that didn’t embarrass him so?
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” J’Skarro said. “In fact, that’s one of the reasons I let you share my bed last night. The other, of course, was Dro’Zagi.”
“Yes,” began Feliis-Ja, “Dro’Zagi is… wait. What do you mean ‘share’ your bed?”
J’Skarro laughed. “What, did you think I slept on the floor? My bed’s big enough for two. I was right there sleeping beside you the whole time. In fact, I got up just a few minutes before you did. It was a surprisingly comfortable arrangement, I must say. Perhaps we could do it again some time.”
Feliis-Ja was a little upset by this… but also a little aroused.
“J’Skarro, please,” he said. “Yesterday I didn’t know I liked men, let alone Khajiit. Today, we are casually discussing our desire to be mates and sleep together.”
J’Skarro gave a sly grin. “You say ‘we’, which implies that you feel the same way.”
Feliis-Ja stared at J’Skarro in shock. Damn! He was right.
“Okay,” he said, “so suppose we can be mates. There is one problem. This one has a caravan to run. He needs money to pay for his mother’s medicine, and she lives far from here. What should Feliis-Ja do? He cannot possibly stay here.”
“You said your caravan was robbed, yes?” asked J’Skarro
Feliis-Ja nodded in response.
“And I told you I hated my dead end job as a barkeeper,” J’Skarro went on. “So, I don’t suppose you could use a big, strong bodyguard to protect your wares, and maybe keep you company on those lonely nights on the road?”
Feliis-Ja smiled. Yes, this could work. He could definitely use a bodyguard, and J’Skarro definitely had the build, and the brains, and… everything. He liked J’Skarro.
He really liked J’Skarro.
Ch 7
So it was that Feliis-Ja’s caravan resumed its operation, but this time, in the opposite direction. He had, to his mild amusement, become one of those Khajiiti caravans he had so looked down upon. He brought goods from his new home in Elsweyr, and sold them in his old home in Colovia. Sometimes, he saw some of his old friends, and even sold to them. Of course, none of them recognized him, and a few even seemed to scoff at him, filthy beast-man that he was. Feliis-Ja simply laughed at them. If only they knew.
By day he was an honest tradesman (as honest as a Khajiit could be), and J’Skarro was his strong, loyal bodyguard. But by night, they were something more. They drank, and they laughed, and they’d dance through town to the annoyance of others, but to the delight of each other. Some nights, they’d wander into the countryside, and watch the moon and stars together. And when they grew tired, they’d sleep together, which as J’Skarro said was a surprisingly comfortable arrangement. J’Skarro taught Fellis-Ja what he knew of Elsweyr, and Feliis-Ja taught J’Skarro what he knew of Cyrodiil. He had even (re)learned how to call himself “I” and “Me” in polite conversation. Finally, he had found the good time Dro’Zagi had promised him.
He wasn’t rich, by any means. Being a cat among men didn’t pay like being a man among cats. But he made enough to support himself and his new mate, and he supposed that would have to do.
But one day, he saw a familiar face in the market.
She passed him by without a second thought. Her face was worn and haggard, and she looked very ill. She was so pale, Feliis-Ja almost didn’t recognize her. But her scent was unmistakable. It was his mother.
What could he say to her? “Hello, mother! I’m a cat now! Would you like to meet my boyfriend?”
No. Her body was too frail. If she found out her only son had been turned into a cat, she might die of shock on the spot. He figured it was best to leave her alone. But he could not bear to see her suffering…
That night, he snuck away from his caravan, and went to his mother’s old home, where he had lived for so many years. He was fortunate to still have his old key. He snuck inside, and crept up to her bedside with the silent footsteps only a feline can achieve. For once, he was grateful for his new body.
He placed a small leather pouch on her nightstand. Inside was enough coin to pay for her medicine for a month’s time, and a note. He had struggled to keep his old handwriting with his furry, clawed fingers, but he hoped she would recognize it was from him. Before he left, he leaned down to give her one last kiss on the cheek. His instincts made him give her a lick instead. Close enough.
When he returned to the caravan, he was surprised to find J’Skarro awake, and not just awake, but panicking.
“Where have you been!?” J’Skarro yelled. “While you were away, our caravan was robbed!”
“Robbed?” gasped Feliis-Ja. “What was taken?”
“Nearly all of the gold we have made on this trip.” Said J’Skarro. “We must catch the thief quickly, or our entire trip back to Elsweyr will be made on empty stomachs!”
Feliis-Ja sighed. He had hoped to avoid this conversation, but now he had no choice.
“J’Skarro,” he said “I took the gold.”
“You WHAT!?” J’Skarro gave him a hurt look. “How could you do such a thing? You knew how much we needed that money. What could you have possibly done with it that was more important that our next meal?”
“I gave it to my mother for medicine, J’Skarro.” Feliis-Ja instinctively flattened his ears.
“Liar!” growled J’Skarro. “There is not one Khajiit in this town besides the two of us. Your mother does not live here.”
“J’Skarro,” said Feliis-Ja, “My mother is human.”
J’Skarro hissed. “Do you think I’m stupid? I’ve read Racial Phylogeny. Humans cannot give birth to cats!”
Feliis-Ja shut his eyes. He had dreaded having this conversation for a long time.
“J’Skarro, I was not always a Khajiit. I used to be human. I used to live here.”
“What!?” J’Skarro shouted. “You used to be human?”
“Did the part where I used to hate Khajiit not make that obvious?” Feliis-Ja asked.
“I just thought you had a bad case of self-loathing. It was not an unreasonable thing to assume, given your attitude at the time.”
Feliis-Ja shrugged. J’Skarro had a point.
J’Skarro still did not believe Feliis-Ja. “But if you were human, how did you become Khajiit?” he asked.
“It was Dro’Zagi,” Feliis-Ja said. “He tricked me into drinking a potion which transformed my body against my will. Although, aside from the horrible agony of my innards reshaping themselves, it hasn’t been so bad.”
J’Skarro shook his head. “I think you are a liar. I cannot believe you would do something like this. Let us go and see your so-called mother then, and we will find out the truth.”
“No!” yelped Feliis-Ja. “My mother is old and frail. If she were to hear her son’s voice coming from a cat’s body, she would surely die of fright.”
J’Skarro grunted. “Then what do you propose we do?”
“We will return to Elsweyr” suggested Feliis-Ja. “Dro’Zagi himself can clear the issue up for us.”
“Return to Elsweyr coinless and with no food? I think not!” J’Skarro snarled. “I will not allow my own belly to sit empty because of your foolishness.”
“In that case,” said Feelis-Ja, “You should keep what little provisions we have left for yourself. You are right, J’Skarro. I was foolish, so I should be the one to suffer the consequences.”
Their trip back to Elsweyr was silent, except for the rumbling of Feliis-Ja’s empty stomach.
Ch 8
It was a hot Tirdas morning as Feliis-Ja’s caravan rolled into Elsweyr. It had been a hot Morndas too, and he knew it would be a hot Middas tomorrow. But this time, he didn’t mind so much. There were a few reasons for this. First, his new body was more suited to it. Second, he had grown used to the heat during his time here. Third, he had far bigger things on his mind.
J’Skarro had insisted they go straight to Dro’Zagi’s stall, despite Feliis-Ja’s protests that they find something to eat first.
Feliis-Ja approached Dro’Zagi first, but J’Skarro pushed him aside. He pointed to Feliis-Ja, and asked:
“Was he human?”
Dro’Zagi laughed. “Human? I’ve never seen a human with a tail like his before. What on earth makes you say such a thing?”
J’Skarro folded his arms. “He says his mother was human. I say he is either a liar or a servant of Sheggorath, and I know not which is worse.”
Dro’Zagi eyed J’Skarro curiously. “What will you do if he lies?”
“I will leave him to run his caravan alone.” J’Skarro huffed.
“And what will you do if he is mad?” Dro’Zagi asked.
“The same.” said J’skarro.
“And what will you do if he is telling the truth?” Dro’Zagi asked with a little smile.
A blank expression flashed across J’Skarro’s face. “I don’t know. I had not considered that possibility. …Nothing I suppose. Who he was does not change who he is. But surely what he says is not true.”
Dro’Zagi shook his head. “The Dreugh spends many years swimming in the sea before it sprouts legs and walks upon the land. Those who bear the mark of Hircine grow and shed their furs on a nightly basis. Who are you to say he did not undergo such a metamorphosis?”
“I cannot say,” said J’Skarro, “But you can. He claims you were the one who changed him.”
Dro’Zagi sighed. “Dear me, Feliis-Ja, you really cannot keep a secret can you? Yes, I gave him the means to change his form, so that he might find himself more… at home among the Khajiiti people. Given that I can smell his scent on you, and yours on him, I’d say it’s worked very well. Which means we can begin discussing the matter of price…”
Feliis-Ja tried to change the subject.
“See, J’Skarro? I told you I was telling the truth.”
“What does he mean ‘price’?” J’Skarro frowned. “Don’t tell me we’ve just gone from broke to in debt.”
“Broke?” Dro’Zagi glanced at Feliis-Ja. “Oh dear, my friend, what have you done this time?”
J’Skarro frowned. “He gave all our profits to his mother to buy medicine. We have had nothing to eat for almost a week! Well… he hasn’t.”
Dro’Zagi gave a hearty laugh. “You silly kitten! Those Imperial alchemists are so overpriced. Fortunately for you, I know of a far more affordable alchemist nearby.”
“Really?” said Feliis-Ja. “Where is he?”
Dro’Zagi laughed even harder. “You are talking to him! Dro’Zagi has the cure for many things, friend. Even, I think, your finances.”
Not long after that day, the people of Cyrodiil began to tell tales of the marvelous potions and cure-alls sold by two mysterious cat-men. It was said that there was nothing their elixirs couldn’t cure, and for fair prices, too. Well… fair for Khajiit at least. Sometimes, people would ask about the strange vials of medicine the shorter cat had on his shelves. But always, he would tell them “not for sale”. Then , if they passed by the next day, they might notice the vials were gone. Where they went, only he knew.
Some days, the little old woman on the edge of town would find a mysterious package on her doorstep. Inside, it was always the same. A few vials of medicine, and a note from someone claiming to be her son. The notes always smelled of an animal smell, and she often found a few stray bits of fur, or even a whisker among the vials. She didn’t know what to make of it, but the medicine was good, so she chose to believe her mysterious benefactor was indeed her son. She longed to see him again, but she was at least glad that he still remembered her. Such a good young man she had raised. Just like a proper Colovian.
For their part, Feliis-Ja and J’Skarro saw their profits more than double. However, as part of their deal, half of their profits went back to Dro’Zagi, and so in fact they mostly stayed the same. Neither of them minded too much, though. They had their caravan, and they had each other, and for them that was enough.
One night, as the two of them lay together and watched the moons, a thought occurred to Feliis-Ja. What Dro’Zagi had said to him that day… it was true. Men could learn so much from Khajiit, but Khajiit could learn so much from Men, too. Now, he was living the best of both their worlds, and loving every minute.
“Thank you, Dro’Zagi.” He whispered.
J’Skarro overheard him – sensitive cat ears and all.
“Yes,” he said. “My uncle is quite a wonderful man, isn’t he?”
Feliis-Ja nodded. Then, he lay his head on J’Skarro’s chest, and fell fast asleep. As he drifted off, he began to purr again, but this time, he didn’t mind.
Category Story / Transformation
Species Khajiit
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 45.8 kB
Listed in Folders
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