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Sandy's letting her mommy side show...
Category Story / Comics
Species Hyena
Size 800 x 993px
File Size 311.4 kB
Hmmmm.... I must say, creator. You really should’ve just shown more of that kind of problem of the story during that party. Like literally showing the reaction and unease from the public in the party than just Frederick’s like you always do. I really just thought it was his usual song and dance with him being uncomfortable with Kathy like he usually is.
It doesn’t sell me much on the fact that we have Frederick really uncomfortable with Kathy’s shenanigans in public compared to the privacy the two have. You showed more time with her singing and dancing to a song that sounds like reference to anything to a party that has male strippers doing what they do in front of children like Sami.
True, Sandy should’ve also stepped in to stop the situation, though I have a hard time knowing how she would have or how random Kathy is, but I guess having neutral standing means scolding someone far after the fact (like she’s doing right now). Sandy has basically been almost hands-off in this entire saga in the city of Rackenroon, so it’s kind of hard to believe that she would be railing on Kathy this hard after doing something wrong with Frederick involved. Especially if it’s supposed to be damaging.
Hell, you could’ve just literally showed us the proper etiquette of these sheyenas when she supposedly failed to represent being a "Crocutan" or how unbecoming it was when she was “dancing the devil’s tango”. Because it’s hard to gauge how bad certain acts are seen by these people when they’re drinking awful drinks and (I repeat) having male strippers in the party. Just showing Frederick being upset about it doesn't help when that’s his default most of the time, especially when he walked out after that display didn’t help either. It even makes little sense when he and Songween came back and saw everyone singing with jolly in the party with no issue together (especially with the Empress joining in), and the Duchess remarking by saying “I think she’s going to do just fine here” (http://www.hirezfox.com/km/co/d/20211210.html) only for the next chapter to say what Kathy did was somehow close to an international incident while risking to ruin her status and, more importantly, Frederick’s too? I’m getting mixed messaging here on the gravity of this.
Honestly, this looks too big of an oversight to look past or not even notice the issues (at least to me) and it’s one of those things where showing instead of just telling should be in order.
It doesn’t sell me much on the fact that we have Frederick really uncomfortable with Kathy’s shenanigans in public compared to the privacy the two have. You showed more time with her singing and dancing to a song that sounds like reference to anything to a party that has male strippers doing what they do in front of children like Sami.
True, Sandy should’ve also stepped in to stop the situation, though I have a hard time knowing how she would have or how random Kathy is, but I guess having neutral standing means scolding someone far after the fact (like she’s doing right now). Sandy has basically been almost hands-off in this entire saga in the city of Rackenroon, so it’s kind of hard to believe that she would be railing on Kathy this hard after doing something wrong with Frederick involved. Especially if it’s supposed to be damaging.
Hell, you could’ve just literally showed us the proper etiquette of these sheyenas when she supposedly failed to represent being a "Crocutan" or how unbecoming it was when she was “dancing the devil’s tango”. Because it’s hard to gauge how bad certain acts are seen by these people when they’re drinking awful drinks and (I repeat) having male strippers in the party. Just showing Frederick being upset about it doesn't help when that’s his default most of the time, especially when he walked out after that display didn’t help either. It even makes little sense when he and Songween came back and saw everyone singing with jolly in the party with no issue together (especially with the Empress joining in), and the Duchess remarking by saying “I think she’s going to do just fine here” (http://www.hirezfox.com/km/co/d/20211210.html) only for the next chapter to say what Kathy did was somehow close to an international incident while risking to ruin her status and, more importantly, Frederick’s too? I’m getting mixed messaging here on the gravity of this.
Honestly, this looks too big of an oversight to look past or not even notice the issues (at least to me) and it’s one of those things where showing instead of just telling should be in order.
I've been getting a lot of remarks along these lines, Masterreviewer. I admit I bungled the set-up for this. The party was kind of a last-minute addition to the story that I wrote on the fly once I'd realized that, with the Empress in town, she would have to host a party for the new Princess.
I was hoping that I had established Fred's character sufficiently that his walking out because he was emotionally overcome and could not say anything to Kathy in public would be obvious. However most people have condemned Fred for being a jerk. I think if I had had Kathy telling ribald jokes about him while he did a slow burn, it would have made more sense to people.
I have not sufficiently shown the cultural hypocrisy of the Crocutans, where they are a gang of lawless thugs held together by a strictly-enforced code of unwritten rules. I did have Fred trying to lecture Kathy on social etiquette, and she kept distracting him.
Sandy, I haven't been using much because I just have so much else to do with Fred and Kathy, so a lot of what she does happens offscreen. That's a failing on my part. If this were a novel it would be much easier, but each digression to follow a minor character takes at least a week, and this story's lasted ten years already. Sandy was charged by their grandmothers to take care of Kathy and keep her out of trouble. Sandy left the party early to put little Sami to bed. Then Kathy never came back to the apartment until after dawn, so Sandy is angry at her, and is chastising Kathy for behaving in a manner unbecoming to a high-ranking sheyena. Sandy, viewing things from an outsider's perspective, could see that Kathy made Fred very uncomfortable.
As for the sing-along scene--well, I had to end it somehow, and that seemed like a funny way to do it. The Chiefesses are indulging the awkward new Princess the way people will look kindly on the antics of a foolish child. But don't expect them to afford that foolish child the respect due to a leader. Kathy will come off of this looking silly and weak, and Fred--and Sandy--both know that.
I was hoping that I had established Fred's character sufficiently that his walking out because he was emotionally overcome and could not say anything to Kathy in public would be obvious. However most people have condemned Fred for being a jerk. I think if I had had Kathy telling ribald jokes about him while he did a slow burn, it would have made more sense to people.
I have not sufficiently shown the cultural hypocrisy of the Crocutans, where they are a gang of lawless thugs held together by a strictly-enforced code of unwritten rules. I did have Fred trying to lecture Kathy on social etiquette, and she kept distracting him.
Sandy, I haven't been using much because I just have so much else to do with Fred and Kathy, so a lot of what she does happens offscreen. That's a failing on my part. If this were a novel it would be much easier, but each digression to follow a minor character takes at least a week, and this story's lasted ten years already. Sandy was charged by their grandmothers to take care of Kathy and keep her out of trouble. Sandy left the party early to put little Sami to bed. Then Kathy never came back to the apartment until after dawn, so Sandy is angry at her, and is chastising Kathy for behaving in a manner unbecoming to a high-ranking sheyena. Sandy, viewing things from an outsider's perspective, could see that Kathy made Fred very uncomfortable.
As for the sing-along scene--well, I had to end it somehow, and that seemed like a funny way to do it. The Chiefesses are indulging the awkward new Princess the way people will look kindly on the antics of a foolish child. But don't expect them to afford that foolish child the respect due to a leader. Kathy will come off of this looking silly and weak, and Fred--and Sandy--both know that.
Dammit! That all sounds good. Like I'm happy to hear about what Sandy was doing at the time with Sami (that's so cute and nice of her to do), or how much the other leaders saw that display with Kathy, what they're thoughts of it, and how much it will royally screwed them all in the long run, but that just shows the problem that all of this was just off screen and no reader would've assumed all of it because they're reading this in a comic strip format. It strips a lot of detail in-between of it.
Like I'm not sure if it's a good idea to have something like Sandy's activity only limited to text format and worse not even shown or talked about in any of these pages, especially if it's the leaders who looked at it as a joke when we only saw them in hand-to-hand having a good time once we returned to the scene.
Like Kathy's song and dance in front of everyone didn't look like it did much damage to how people see her there. It sounds like something that should've been in the page whether or not it creates some extra "unneeded" time. Like I never thought Frederick was being a jerk. I just assumed he was acting the usual way of not being used to this level of affection or attention as well not being able to deal with it, especially when people are watching instead of being behind closed doors.
I'm... terribly sorry. I'm not trying come off as a troublemaker or an ass. I just find it very wrong when something as important as this has not been properly shown to us and the things that could've been shown to us was treated like filler (flavor text essentially). Things that weren't important enough to be mentioned in the comic, but at least was fine enough to add on to the story off handed, yet not in a major way.
Like I'm not sure if it's a good idea to have something like Sandy's activity only limited to text format and worse not even shown or talked about in any of these pages, especially if it's the leaders who looked at it as a joke when we only saw them in hand-to-hand having a good time once we returned to the scene.
Like Kathy's song and dance in front of everyone didn't look like it did much damage to how people see her there. It sounds like something that should've been in the page whether or not it creates some extra "unneeded" time. Like I never thought Frederick was being a jerk. I just assumed he was acting the usual way of not being used to this level of affection or attention as well not being able to deal with it, especially when people are watching instead of being behind closed doors.
I'm... terribly sorry. I'm not trying come off as a troublemaker or an ass. I just find it very wrong when something as important as this has not been properly shown to us and the things that could've been shown to us was treated like filler (flavor text essentially). Things that weren't important enough to be mentioned in the comic, but at least was fine enough to add on to the story off handed, yet not in a major way.
Well, there is, of course, upcoming strips... ;)
I sometimes think folks would love to have a great metaphysical info dump, where the entire story just appears in one shining sphere for them to immediately understand.
But that's not the way life, or comic strips, get parcelled out.
So instead you're stuck reading a haiku every other day, instead of having War and Peace downloaded into your brain.
Eventually, it will all make sense.
I sometimes think folks would love to have a great metaphysical info dump, where the entire story just appears in one shining sphere for them to immediately understand.
But that's not the way life, or comic strips, get parcelled out.
So instead you're stuck reading a haiku every other day, instead of having War and Peace downloaded into your brain.
Eventually, it will all make sense.
No one wants a metaphysical info dump. It's just better to have the story show more visual scenes and views of different character perspectives so the audience could get a better understanding of the situations & events happening. We honestly should've had Sandy's arc of accepting her role in the country and as a generalissima more naturally through the course of the story instead of being only offscreen (she wasn't even given a written side story to make up for it). And to be honest, a lot probably would've worked better if the comic wasn't in the style of newspaper formatted comic strips. The whole Rackenroon storyline is written like a graphic novel, so should really be formatted as one in comic pages. I mean, the fact this whole story got stretched out to be a decade long series of events yet still sounds like it doesn't make enough sense feels a little like negligence. Yeah I know it wasn't your plan to make it this long and have some retcons in it, but these cracks really should've been mended better. It would probably even make many of the messy Crocutan politics, motivation of certain characters and general flow in areas like what's happening right now flow a lot more consistently better so the audience aren't left questioning as often or getting the wrong idea of character actions.
I really wish I could do all of that. But it would take far more time and attention than I am able to give it, to tell the main story (Fred and Kathy,) the side stories (Sandy, Songween, the guardsmen, Horn, Jade, Murphy, the family back home, Lucretia, the lions, the other people of Rackenroon) and have it all fit together and make sense...only if I could have written the story as a novel, and THEN started to adapt it to a comic strip, could that be possible, because to be honest, a lot of the time I'm wracking my brains for a script. Just like you have no idea what your mailman does with the 23 hours and 57 minutes he's not delivering your mail, so I brush these players into a box and only take them out when I need them. Sometimes I feel I have to give one of them something to do, just to remind the readers they're there. Trader Horn is out in the bush. Koz is in the hospital. Jinjur's in prison. The guards are in their barracks or on duty. We don't really need to drop in on them, unless they're interacting with Kathy or Fred.
But going forward, I have at least a dozen threads I need to tie up.
But going forward, I have at least a dozen threads I need to tie up.
I think the answer there is, "Since I realized I gotta be the one to fix your screw-ups." =P Or something like that.
Things like these events tend to shake people up. And as one Christian writer put it, "Whatever can be shaken will be shaken." Though he might've been talking about the End Times. Still seems to apply to other situations, mostly the ones that put a lotta stress on you.
I think we've all had moments in our lives where things got shook up. Ain't real fun, is it?
Things like these events tend to shake people up. And as one Christian writer put it, "Whatever can be shaken will be shaken." Though he might've been talking about the End Times. Still seems to apply to other situations, mostly the ones that put a lotta stress on you.
I think we've all had moments in our lives where things got shook up. Ain't real fun, is it?
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