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This the prologue of this story I've been writing for some time. I started at the beginning of this year but I still haven't gotten around to finishing it yet (I'm still working on chapter eight D8). Hope you all enjoy it! I've put a lot of effort into this. Keep in mind it's still a first draft, so don't be too picky X3. I know it bares some similarity to S. Andrew Swann's Moreau books, but the fact that he's an animal soldier is about the only similarity. I love constructive criticism, so please feel free to let me know what you think. I think I'm going to get rid of the prologue though and try and work out all the information I've written down here into the story so that the reader isn't overwhelmed by so much information right off the bat.
Category Story / Miscellaneous
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 105 x 120px
File Size 32.5 kB
You have some strong first person and nice description to support it. An opening is an important thing as it needs to address to the audience. Through this the narration it is told more instead of told and a transition through this narration is not presented well in shift. The rest though is a strong start. Good luck with the rest.
The narration is a catch-22 between the first person narration by telling instead of showing. Showing through the description allows the work to come to life for an audience. Though for a prologue and narrative purpose it is fine to tell through the narrative speakers views. However proper transiting is needed to show a change to the actual story.
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