Fun fact #1: I love writing song parodies

Fun fact #2: I'm a Tom Lehrer fan

Given these two factors, I decided I'd make my valentine for you all a parody of Lehrer's song The Masochism Tango, centered around a different form of BDSM I'm sure you're familiar with.

Original song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TytGOeiW0aE

Lyrics:

I thirst for the taste of your lips, dear
But much more for the taste of your nips, dear
You make me feel young
Oh, so very young
As we dance to the ABDL Tango

Please say you’ll be mine, not just ‘maybe’
Say you’ll care for me like I’m your baby
Do be a dear
And pad up my rear
As we dance to the ABDL Tango

I’ll bring you joy
And be your precious toy
Because I’m a good boy…
Ugh…
I think I need a change…

When you’re with me
I can but squeal with glee
As I’m a big bab-ee
Don’t care that it seems strange

The thought of parting from you is agony
That is why my commode is attached to me
Love fills more than my diaper
Poisons like a Seviper
Which is why I’m so hyper when we tango

My will you’ve froze…
No one fairer at this ball…
I can feel my aging fall…
Whenever I’m in your arms

And I envy the rose…
In your mouth with a fire…
Wish it was a pacifier…
To soothe my teething alarms…

Your eyes cast a spell that regresses
As I cling to the safety of your dresses
Don’t say goodbye
Or I’ll cry and I’ll cry
As we dance to the ABDL Tango

Come on, let’s play
Make little me scream, “Yay!”
Let it last the whole day
Till my early bedtime

I know too well
I’m underneath your spell
So, darling, if you smell
Something it’s…oh my…change time…

Give the nose on my hungry face a boop
And spell your name with the letters in my soup
Here comes the tide
To put you inside…
As we dance to the AB…DL Tango!

Hope you enjoyed. If you think this sounds dirty and sexual, listen to the original song.