An illustration of someone who has got me into drawing again. Clan, a local artist in my home town, was incredibly supportive and actually gave me some great tips on art.

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Well, I'm sure none of us truly expected what this month was going to end up as. Not a single one of us was wanting this big world changing event to happen, let alone the people who are partaking in it, whether or not they want want to. But everyone has said what I could have said better about this situation. There isn't much I can say, or do. What I have done is so minimal.

Aside from that event, this month for me has been odd. A good odd. My confidence has definitely boosted up quite a bit. Within the final week of staying with my family, I wanted to get things done. I finally did something that eased my issues. You know that problem solver that people create? Where you write down the name of someone or how you feel about a situation and then scrunch up the paper and throw it away? Well, I did something like that. I did something different. I printed up my results for Uni from the previous three years, wrote down the names of people who I either wanted to forget or wanted to be blunt and honest with, and I burnt it.

Why?

To make a visual reminder to myself that I am more than just these grades. More than those failures. And I needed to find a way to make sure that I don't fall down that slope of trying to be like people who take rather than give. Whose prime reasoning to invite me to things is to show off.

And with that, I gained some confidence in myself. I did things that I wanted to do within that final week and did things that needed to be done, both in the city and in my home town. It felt good. With the addition of psychologists helping me as well, it felt good. I haven't felt like this in ages.

Sure, still there are a fair few issues. One being my shoulder. Within one physio appointment with a different person, he immediately knew the problem as soon as I lifted my arm. My shoulder blade juts out when I move it. Whenever I move my right arm, my shoulder blade goes with it. Thankfully, I have booked myself in for both an X-ray and an Ultrasound within this week. Uni wasn't off to a great start either when I discovered that one of the people on that list that I burnt is now my tutor. He hasn't graduated fully yet, nor does he have a teaching degree, but he is just given the role. Why? No clue, outside of simply the University running out of staff.

One thing that I have done during this month is meet up with a painter and illustrator in my home town. Clan. Seeing his work inspired me to draw while I was there, resulting in the illustration above, but also it inspired me to do something that I have done before, but something that I haven't done outside of yearbooks. I wanted to make a book about him. An art book, displaying his artwork from paintings, portraits, advertising, everything, because he really deserves to have his work seen. What I have to do is simply get written permission to do this, and I'll be off and running, trying to interview him, and get people to scan and photograph his work.

I have no idea what this next month will entail. Hopefully, some good. We all need it.

--TO EDIT LATER--

Songs that I have discovered or rediscovered this month: