FA+
Shop
361
Views
Views
31
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Digital) / Portraits
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 2600 x 1472
File Size 2.64 MB
Report this content
★
More from Libertades
I've always had so much rage. I've known. I've wanted to play the judge, the justice-making hero, the all-understanding voice of reason and righteousness. It all came from my own wounds of shame and guilt, of false accusations to my persona, of lies about me I wished I could go back in time to make others take back. I was not okay with being made fun of, rumors of me spread and being the target of misled lash outs. It created rage, a strong desire to defend and be defended, this was my greatest piece of ego.
It was in my misguided desire to do right by me and others who'd been hurt this way, that I placed on others the very judgement I was given. I went out looking for villains and heroes, and making people into victims. I forgot for a moment that such things aren't real. That villains are also hurt people who just want others to understand their pain. That heroes often times defend and do right only by themselves, to feel heard and safe from harm. And victims only exist when people take things personally. I took things personally, I forgot that we're all human beings, doing our best to translate our feelings into actions and words and sometimes hurting each other in the process without truly intending to. I turned into a victim with a hero complex, seen as a villain by those I went up against. I wanted to make justice by my loved ones and myself, and I made a fool of myself instead.
I forgot that given the circumstances, I would have made the same choices as my offenders, who are simply doing what is best by themselves. That I could be far into someone else's shoes to understand what they didn't mean to do. That everything they said in a moment of anger or fear, could have been my same reaction. That I could have taken everything as personally as they took it for themselves. For my arrogance, I am sorry. I am sorry for believing you were not allowed to be hurt, wary or afraid. I am sorry for trying to force you to see things from my perspective before I could see it from yours. It doesn't mean I agree with the things that happened and the pain inflicted, but I can see now that healing comes from the understanding that nothing is ever personal, that I am in no place to judge your actions even if they seemed wrong by me.
Because you could have been me... and I could have been you.
It was in my misguided desire to do right by me and others who'd been hurt this way, that I placed on others the very judgement I was given. I went out looking for villains and heroes, and making people into victims. I forgot for a moment that such things aren't real. That villains are also hurt people who just want others to understand their pain. That heroes often times defend and do right only by themselves, to feel heard and safe from harm. And victims only exist when people take things personally. I took things personally, I forgot that we're all human beings, doing our best to translate our feelings into actions and words and sometimes hurting each other in the process without truly intending to. I turned into a victim with a hero complex, seen as a villain by those I went up against. I wanted to make justice by my loved ones and myself, and I made a fool of myself instead.
I forgot that given the circumstances, I would have made the same choices as my offenders, who are simply doing what is best by themselves. That I could be far into someone else's shoes to understand what they didn't mean to do. That everything they said in a moment of anger or fear, could have been my same reaction. That I could have taken everything as personally as they took it for themselves. For my arrogance, I am sorry. I am sorry for believing you were not allowed to be hurt, wary or afraid. I am sorry for trying to force you to see things from my perspective before I could see it from yours. It doesn't mean I agree with the things that happened and the pain inflicted, but I can see now that healing comes from the understanding that nothing is ever personal, that I am in no place to judge your actions even if they seemed wrong by me.
Because you could have been me... and I could have been you.
Category Artwork (Digital) / Portraits
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 2600 x 1472px
File Size 2.64 MB
Comments