Dear God... I am so tired of ruining all around me.... and at the same time each day is a hel .. i feel I can't resist more.... Is this a kind of test? I m so sory cause I can see I am still weak... and I don't deserve to guide a ntion . Even with everything that happene before. It seems that happened only in my dreams and it is so far like my dear hopmeland and tha path I folowed so lovingly. Just a shadow of who I used to be.... what happened to me??? ................................

And hours and hours of reflection, with no life in light years around... lamenting all his wounds and mistakers... but trying to find peace in that One who is always available to receive us when we are in need and trust him <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

...to be continued