Information, Please
© 2022 by Walter Reimer

Thumbnail art by  dragonmelde, color by  marmelmm



Meredith and Varan paused just inside the door of the Library, saving the game just before crossing the threshold. The two huge doors, bearing hammered bronze bas-reliefs of militant vegetarians attempting to educate feral lions and other predators about the evils of eating meat, swung closed behind them, leaving the two adventurers looking up.

And up.

The Library was clearly larger on the inside than its exterior had implied. The foyer they stood in was hexagonal, ten meters on a side, with a ceiling nearly twenty meters over their heads. The chamber was made of stark white marble, with the only furniture being a large ring-shaped desk that had a crowd gathered around it. A sign over the desk read INFORMATION.

“I think we should see what we can learn without having to fight,” Varan said.

The paladin nodded at the mage. “Yes, we should start slowly.” The mare glanced back at the doors, whose inner reliefs depicted the feral predators from the front now lolling about with bloated stomachs in the apparent throes of gastric distress, with a few shown taking various antacids.

The golden palomino mare wondered briefly about the game designers, not for the first time, before shaking her head. She and the mage joined the crowd of people waiting for information.

The crowd comprised a mix of species and genders, and it took some time to get close to the desk. While they waited the pair watched and listened.

The crowd closest to the desk were shouting various things at the clerks:

“The fastest Terra-Centauri run by a civilian ship was twenty-seven hours!”

“The citizens of Borislav III impeached their prime minister for pedophilia!”

“Anthro lions are not polygamous!”

Those who shouted the statements had their ears canted forward to catch what the clerks had to say, and after receiving a reply they would dash off towards a series of doors set into three of the room’s six walls.

“I think I have figured this out,” Meredith said. Varan gave her a questioning look and the paladin said, “We need to make a statement, not ask a question.”

“That does make sense,” Varan agreed. “It is the Information Desk.”

The pair finally made their way to the desk, and two pairs of ears went back.

Seated behind the desk was a golden retriever femme. The canine was wearing a tan shirt, a white skirt, and had three heads. Each of the three heads were engaged with three separate customers.

The name tag on the desk before her read Sara Burrus.

The central head looked up at Meredith. “Yes?”

“We are searching for the second part of the Amulet of Asininity,” Meredith promptly said.

The canine blinked, twice, and all three heads turned to look at Meredith. After a long moment the middle head replied, “First door.” As she turned to the next person she muttered, “Good luck.”

The mage and the paladin pushed their way through the crowd as the three-headed canine went back to work. “Okay, first door,” but Varan rested a paw on the mare’s shoulder before she could start off. “What is it, demef?”

“First door,” the vir pointed out, “but first on the left, or first on the right?”

“Oh.” Meredith’s eyes widened as she glanced at each of the doorways, ears swiveling. Finally she said, “Terran Basic is read left to right, and the designers would know that.”

“Aka?”

“So we go to the first door on the right,” and the two adventurers set off.