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Oh dear, hunter. It appears you’ve happened upon an exceptionally large Anjanath. Don’t fret, however; this specimen appears to be friendly. As for why he's hypnotically waving his tongue back and forth at you, it’s… a sign of affection! Yes, that’s right! Like many monsters, Anjanaths show affection with a slobbery lick, so don’t at all feel intimidated by the display. In fact, it’s probably in your best interests to step forward, just a little bit, so he knows you’re receptive to getting to know him better.

Oh, the teeth? Again, don’t be scared. While they might look threatening, Anjanaths don’t chew their fo—… friends, so there’s no need to hesitate about stepping just a few feet closer.

Uh, the grumbling noises…? T-that’s, um… oh, right! That’s the Anjanath purring. Everyone knows reptiles purr, on occasion, especially when in the presence of foo—friends! So yes, all quite normal—nothing to be concerned about. Just step a bit closer so you can hear him better. The sound of purring helps reduce blood pressure, you know?

What do you mean the sounds are coming from deeper in? And it sounds more like the churning or fizzing of liquids than purring? Nonsense! He's purring, almost certainly. Look, just step right up—yes, right in front of his maw; that’s where the sound is clearest. It’s also an excellent opportunity to let him get a taste… uh, FEEL, of you with his tongue; first greetings, and all that. Don’t mind the sweltering heat oozing out with his deep, raspy breaths—there’s not much you can do to avoid getting glazed in a hot layer of moisture.

I-In fact, given that, perhaps you ought to just get it over with? Getting coated in dino drool, that is. Sure, it’ll feel unpleasant for a moment, but you’ll get used to it real soon. It’s sort of like diving straight into a pool of cold water. Except, replace pool with, uh, bubbling jacuzzi? Well, no, his maw isn’t exactly bubbling, but, uh…

Look, I’m just saying, you’re going to make friends much faster with this Anjanath—and things are going to get a lot more cosy and intimate—once you get in his maw. So, you know. Just… let his huge slobbery tongue scoop you up. You’ll love it, I promise you.

…

What do you mean that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard?

Look, just get in the fucking maw already.

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Drawn and animated by Swamp and Sprout Studios: https://twitter.com/SwampandSprout