Aries rolled her eyes as she stood in front of the holocam.

"And what am I guilty of, exactly?" She snipped.

"Fourteen counts of destruction of Imperial Property, one count of trespassing on the Dreadnaught Capula which led to ten thousand fatalities when the suspect unleashed a cascade failure in the reactor core, two hundred and sixty-five counts of assault with a deadly weapon, nine hundred and two counts of murder of Imperial officers, twelve counts of theft, fifty-seven counts of consorting with the terrorist organization proclaiming themselves 'The Rebel Alliance', eighty counts of smuggling contraband and... well... one traffic violation."

Aries laughed. "Hah! That you know of..."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"For the last cursed time, you scum, HOLD STILL!"

"Ha! I've been to Hell and back, kiddo. Literally. Nothing you could say or do could possibly threaten or frighten me. You could be nicer though."

"Civility is afforded to law abiding citizens, you wretch. Now.... gah...! Get your finger out of your nose this very instant!"

"Huh? Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of Emperor Palpatine croaking out that last State of the Empire. Guy must be a chainsmoker to get a rich timbre like that! And by rich timber, I mean dried sticks rattling together."

"That's not..."

"And what's with the black robe? Who's he trying to impress?"

"I'm...!"

"And that FACE! Ugh... Did you know half the people I talk to are convinced he's actually some kind of lizard?"

"You're not-!"

"I tell you, if the man died and an exoskeletal droid moved him like a puppet under the robe, nobody would be able to tell!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UUUUUP! SHUT UUUUUUUP!!!!!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guIQrCQSxCg


[Artwork by  zannah ]

[And no joke on April Fools this year! Because my watchers aren't fools at all, they're winners and I'm blessed to have their patronage ^_^]