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"I'm not entirely sure what to apologize about."
Had a friend/coworker like this. It made him really unpopular despite his efforts to be polite. He could sense when someone became offended, but by then it was already too late. He understood that an apology may be in order when he saw another person get upset after he said something, but he had serious trouble identifying exactly what the triggering context was. People misinterpreting his comments and getting offended along with his poor recovery skills almost cost him his job a couple times.
My friend had occasionally made some awkwardly offensive remarks to me too, but I never sensed malice or contempt behind the comments. He just gave a deadpan analysis about what he observed. No hate, just input. That's what tipped me off he was a little different. According to his actions, his brain was incredibly intelligent and amicable. It was his mouth that was socially stupid.
When he began thanking us for sticking up for him after his communication mishaps, I started to sympathize with him more because he actually felt bad after each incident. He said he took the "failures" personally because it was such a contrast to his parents and other people calling him gifted throughout childhood. When he goofed up interacting with other people while "less disciplined" peers handled things just fine, it made him feel incompetent and spat on what he prided himself most on compared to other people: his intelligence.
It's like someone made him feel like that's all he had.
Had a friend/coworker like this. It made him really unpopular despite his efforts to be polite. He could sense when someone became offended, but by then it was already too late. He understood that an apology may be in order when he saw another person get upset after he said something, but he had serious trouble identifying exactly what the triggering context was. People misinterpreting his comments and getting offended along with his poor recovery skills almost cost him his job a couple times.
My friend had occasionally made some awkwardly offensive remarks to me too, but I never sensed malice or contempt behind the comments. He just gave a deadpan analysis about what he observed. No hate, just input. That's what tipped me off he was a little different. According to his actions, his brain was incredibly intelligent and amicable. It was his mouth that was socially stupid.
When he began thanking us for sticking up for him after his communication mishaps, I started to sympathize with him more because he actually felt bad after each incident. He said he took the "failures" personally because it was such a contrast to his parents and other people calling him gifted throughout childhood. When he goofed up interacting with other people while "less disciplined" peers handled things just fine, it made him feel incompetent and spat on what he prided himself most on compared to other people: his intelligence.
It's like someone made him feel like that's all he had.
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