You’re Chris again. You have just set out to take on the Mosque and whatever waits inside.
“So, how are we gonna handle this?” Spear Mint asks
“So, last night I kept watch over the Mosque, while also watching over Sandler.” Nikita says “We stayed in the building right there.” she says, pointing at a large building, obviously ruined by a blast “And from there, I saw that men would constantly enter the Mosque, but I’ve yet to see any leave it. So they may be trapped, dug in, dead, etc, or there’s another opening.”
“What do you think the truth is?”
“Dead. That Mosque isn’t big enough to comfortably accommodate all those men, yet they kept pooling in. Similarly, if the Mosque is as I remember it, there is exactly one usable entrance. I think there’s a resistance to the salafis in there, and we should greet them.”
“What if you’re wrong and the place is packed with terrorists?”
“We have two friends who specialize in fire here. We just gotta burn em out and lock the door, and Mr Sorenstein here can help keep it shut.” Nikita says, pointing at Muscle Mon

“You know Muscle Mon’s real name?” you ask
“No? The character, Muscle Man, has the real name Mitch Sorenstein. I don’t know his actual name.”
“Yeah, you’re not putting a hole in my idea, there.” Peters says
“What idea?” Nikita asks
“You said you know some of us from before we were here, right?”
“Yeah, but I can’t say who.”
“Are we human again?”
“Look, at the end of this, you’re given a choice to go back. Everyone who I met again isn’t human. You’re the same mon that you are now, mostly. Some are different forms in the same line- but basically everyone remains the same. I’m not saying more.”
“So, we ain’t going back then.”
“Bro, she literally just said that we only stay like this if we want to.” Muscle Mon says
“Who would want to fucking stay like this?” Spear Mint butts in
“Like, look at me. I am a beast, and there is no way I’m going back to a fat nobody.”
“See Peters.” you say “Nikita probably met Muscle Mon, and-”
“That doesn’t imply something good for the rest of us.” Peters says “That may imply that we don’t make it-”
“All of you, shut up!” Adam yells “Nikita can’t say to you guys who she sees again, so quit freaking yourselves out. We can do this after we’ve beaten the terrorists and Iran, but until then, stop!”

“Knowing the future is a curse.” Nikita says, staring at the sky as everyone walks “You will forever live in fear of what is to come, and that fear will inevitably bring what is inevitable, even if that inevitable event was not inevitable until you knew it was.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” Peters says
“Live longer, you’ll see.”
“What a crock of shit.”
“Seriously guys, stop. We just have to beat this thing, and the longer we freak out about it, the longer it will take. So let’s just stop.” Adam says
“Yeah, let’s get off the depressing stuff.” Muscle Mon says
“Ok.” you say “How about we talk about Regular Show. I started watching it with Claire today.”
“How you liking it bro?”
“Pretty good. But like, what the fuck is the plot of it? How is everything escalating that fast? I can’t tell what and why anything is happening.”
“Yeah, it’s great.”
“Like is it ever explained why shit is like that? Like why you can go from setting up chairs to a battle on the moon? Like is that kind of stuff addressed at all?”
“Bro, if you’re asking if stuff starts to make sense, well, not really.”
“Ok then.”
“It’s all part of the magic.”
“Also, Muscle Mon, you fit your name way more than Muscle Man. Like damn, is he a fat one. Also you’re much cooler too.”
“Bro, why are you being so nice all of a sudden? Like, you weren’t a jerk before-”
“I am though.”

“No, Rick is a jerk, Violette is a jerk, you’re just not having a good time.”
“I’ve been a real piece of shit for a while now. I do that cause I’m scared of betrayal, and…”
“I get you dude. Life’s tough.”
“Yeah… I’ve been listening to what everyone’s been saying, mostly Peters and Claire-”
“Hm?” Peters says, upon hearing his name, breaking his trance that he held on some building
“And I need to be a better person, and live here and now, not worrying about the future. The now is what matters-”
“No, it’s the future that matters.” Nikita says
“Huh?”
“The now is tough, and if you lose sight of it, then you’ll never succeed. However, if you just keep endlessly looking at the present, with no eyes on the past or future, you’ll die a scared animal.”
“The fuck are you talking about?” Peters pipes in
“I think I can safely say that no one is a stranger to the phrase ‘remember the past, or you’ll be doomed to repeat it’, or some form of that same shit, so I don’t think I gotta explain that. But, if you don’t look to the future, you’ll never get out of the shit you’re stuck in. You always have to look to the future, plan ahead, and find something you must struggle to obtain. You have to struggle on, and struggle some more, until there’s nothing left to struggle against, and that’s a given for anyone and all circumstances. However, if you only watch the present, you’ll have nothing to do once you’ve finished struggling, therefore the struggling was meaningless and the conflict was all that kept you going. Plan for what happens next, and the struggling will mean something.”

“How’s that going for you?” Peters asks, with a hint of disdain in is voice “You said the world went to shit, so how did all that looking ahea-”
“We built a civilization from nothing and felled all that fought us, not because my country fought hardest, but because we fought for a future worth fighting for. Every man woman and child in my country struggles, and we’re all tired of the struggles, but we fight on to make a world void of those struggles, without the sins of the past and their needless ignorance. If not for our persistence to build a better future, we would have fallen long ago. We plan to make a better world, not to survive, not to end the struggle, but to build something worth fighting for. We survive because the fire inside us burns brighter than the fire around us, and though I take that quote out of context-”
“What is the context?” Spear Mint asks
“Man was literally on fire-”
“What?”
“Anyways, we fight, not to live in the present, but to build a future. We survive, not because of our own gain, but because the success of our future depends on it. Every degenerate in the wastes tries to fight to survive, but most die out. The only ones who succeed in the long run are those who die for a cause.”
“Wow, you sound just like some of those politicians telling young men to die in a foreign land-” Spear Mint says
“Miss, you seem anti war-”
“You’re not?”
“No, I’m a warlord. I’m a dictator general, how could I be anti war. I fucking love war. I love tearing these Godless heathens apart. I love forcing my ideology on others through blood and death. The strength of my beliefs are determined by the number who die for them and who die at the hands of them. War is peace, and when it’s an absence of war, there is true suffering.”

“And I thought Rick was fucking crazy.”
“Live longer-”
“No! You can’t just tell me some shit that the terrorists we fight would say, and then just expect me to follow those ideas. You sound like those warhawks in congress who’ll never think about lending a penny to anyone but expect you to die for a fucking oil company-”
“Don’t you dare compare me to the rotten core of the America! That society was formed again in the aftermath of the collapse, and had the biggest known military and arms in the hemisphere, but got destroyed by a bunch of nitwits in skirts with machetes. You want to know what happens when you separate your warriors from your scholars? You have your fighting done by fools and your thinking done by cowards. You get the late NCR, a pseudo-democracy that had the functionality of the US without any real prowess to keep someone from kicking their shoddy foundations out from under them! I am no fucking snivling senator or coward congressman, I am a fucking warrior, and I lead because I know war better than others! I know how to build a world worth fighting for, and I know I’ll die proudly fighting for it!” Nikita yells, almost foaming at the mouth

“Bro… like… what are you trying to say? You went way off on a tangent.” Muscle Mon says
“I don’t fucking remember.”
“You know,” Peters says “The way you talk about war, and killing, it makes me think that you’ve never done it. But you have, so why do you like it?”
“Ideology is all that matters now. Wealth is irrelevant, you can die at any minute and a Benjamin won’t block a bullet. Fame is irrelevant, as many who are famous die and fade away. Everything whithers away in war but ideology. Ideology stays and ideology determines what is next. Ideology is what I stand behind because years and years of attempted erasure were null and void. In the wake of the great collapse, wealth was gone, fame was gone, people were gone, but like a daisy growing from the cracks of a sidewalk, ideology came back. Communism, facism, Classical Romanism, Theocracy, True Democracy, all of it came back. Some stayed and took root, others died again and tried again and again, but ideology forever remains. But, I think we’ve all heard enough rambling about philosophy and ideology for today, so I’ll stop it.” Nikita says and then there’s a long silence
“How does killing feel?” you say, preferring Nikita’s rant to the deafening silence
“It depends on what and who.”
“How does it feel to kill for your ideology?”
“Euphoric.”
“DQ, don’t listen to her, she’s fucked up.” Spear Mint says
“Why? Is it because I’m the only one here who lives a life they think is worth while? Why do the rest of you live on?”

“I’ll tell you why.” Peters says “I fight for freedom-”
“Against the Nazis and for people to do what they want.” Nikita continues “You fight for ideology, same as me, but I’m not asking you. I’m asking those who didn’t have to fight.”
“So what, me, Muscle Mon, and Spear Mint?” you ask
“No. Not you. You know why you fight as well. Just the green ones.”
“Bro, did you just judge me by the color of my skin, instead of the content of my character?” Muscle Mon says “Not cool bro.” Muscle Mon finishes, and Nikita begins cracking up
“I think we’re here.” Adam says “And good thing too, I’m getting tired of your dumb philosophy.”
“Yeah.” Nikita says, wiping away tears “This is the Mosque.”
“And there’s a familiar face.” Adam says, pointing at Cupid, who’s wearing a teal sweater and gray skirt, and nothing else.
“Holy shit, it’s Reggie.” Nikita says
“Not sure if that was meant as a jab at me, or not” Cupid says “but that’s what I was going for.”
“You like dudes, vamp?” Muscle Mon says
“I like guys. I… really like guys. There's just something about them. I like their touch, their smell, their... taste. I like to be taken from behind. I like it when they call me cute as they…” Cupid continues as Nikita takes off her boots and prepares to throw them.

Do you attempt to stop her? It might be seen favorably by Cupid, which may have him aid you in the future, or let you ask for favors or something.

PAGEBREAK

You attempt to block the shoes, but Nikita is more determined than you thought. She gets them both off, unhindered by you trying to grab them, and hurls one into the air over Cupid. Cupid sees this and stops talking to move out of the way, then Nikita throws the second as he’s distracted, blasting him full force in the face. Cupid’s head swings back and he stumbles, nearly tripping on the stairs leading up to the Mosque. Cupid gets his footing again and stares at Nikita in rage for a second.
“What the fuck?” Cupid says in his manlier voice
“You’re in Iraq!” Nikita yells“And the way the Arab people deal with inane f*ggotry, in this land, is by throwing shoes at it! How will we deal with such degeneracy? Beatings!”
“What the fuck are you saying?” Cupid says in the girlier voice again
“We’ve been getting a lot of that from her today.” Adam replies “She says she doesn’t need much sleep, but I think she’s just sleep deprived.”
“No no, the Russians are weird. Like, I’m a creature of the night, and I sleep for short periods, but the Russians just stay up for weeks, unhindered by anything.”

“Really?”
“Yeah. I think it was something to do with the Russian Sleep Experiments, or something along the lines.”
“That’s just a creepypasta.” Spear Mint says
“You’re a praying mantis talking to a femboi vampire. I think you should be a little more open to the idea of the Russians doing deplorable human experiments. Anyways… N, why are you throwing your shoes like a toddler?”
“You’re a cryptic fossil telling a bunch of young adults to fight a war in Iraq for reasons you won’t say and for a cause no one is sure of. Last person who did this got the same treatment. So, if the shoe fits…” Nikita says
“Did you just call me George W Bush?”
“Yep.”
“George fucking W Bush?”
“Yep.”
“Welp, have fun in that Mosque then. You’re getting 0 warnings, but I’ll give you a warm up… and your shoes back. I’m not really a foot guy, so,put these back on.” Cupid says, picking up Nikita’s boots and throwing them back to her “And now, I present to you, your first rival battle. Ben, come out here.” Cupid finishes, and Ben Stiller walks out from behind a pillar.

“Hey Adam.” Ben says meekly “So, we’re supposed to fight, right?”
“Am I supposed to kill Ben Stiller?” Adam says
“No. He’s your rival, you’ll fight him a bunch of times, and each time he’ll have another pokemon, getting stronger each time.” Cupid says
“How many does he have now?”
“I have a seal, and they’re terrified of your team. You have a dragon, a dinosaur, and then two have guns. How’s this a fair fight?” Ben says
“It’s a warm up.” Cupid says
“Can we see the Seal?” Spear Mint says
“Why?” Ben replies
“Seals are cute.”
“Sure… Hey Allstar” Adam calls back to the pillar “Can you come on out?” he finishes, and a blue seal, that looks to be in a dress, hops out, bouncing on its tail.
“Oh my God! You’re absolutely adorable!” Spear Mint says in a higher pitched voice
“Please don’t hurt me.” the seal says
“So Ben has a Brionne and that’s it?” Nikita says
“Yeah.” Ben says
“What’s their name?” Spear Mint asks excitedly
“I don’t know, they were just singing Allstar when I found them, so-”
“Can I say hi?”
“Spear Mint, that’s not a dog that’s a person who got turned into a pokemon.” Nikita says


“But they’re so tiny.”
“Why am I here?” Allstar says
“Can I pick you up?”
“No-” Allstar says, but gets picked up anyways. Allstar rests in between the notches in Spear Mint’s sickles, looking absolutely terrified, and gets held up in the air, like a mother holding her child. Allstar is around 3ft and probably wasn’t that way before.
“Can you put them down. Those things look like they could kill.” Ben says
“Ok.” Spearmint says, placing them down.
“Ok, so we’re supposed to fight you guys, and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to make Allstar fight all of your people, or if I’m supposed to fight too.”
“Pokemon fight, actors don’t.” Cupid says
“Ok. I’m so sorry Allstar.”
“Please don’t hurt me.” Allstar says, looking like they’re about to cry.
“We’ll let you attack first.” Adam says “And wait. Who wants to fight them?”
“I will.” Nikita says
“Alright. Allstar, I’m sorry but we have to.”
“I’ll make it painless.”
“Ok…” Allstar says
“Allstar use perish song!” Ben calls

“S-somebody once told me…” Allstar begins “t-the world was gonna roll me…”
“And we’re done here.” Nikita says, walking up to Allstar, and then elbowing them in the face with one swift motion. Allstar falls to the floor, unconscious, and Nikita walks back to Adam, and then does jazz hands. After about a minute, Ben walks over and pours something down Allstar’s throat. Allstar comes to and looks around for a second.
“Did I just get my shit rocked?” they say
“Yeah.” Adam says
“Well, I didn’t feel anything. Thanks, I guess.”
“So.” Cupid begins “this is one of many rival battles, at least one of six. And this one should definitely be the easiest. You’ll probably get one per city. Anyways, because you won, you get a monetary prize and a special item. 730 thousand Iraqi Dinar, and then your choice of Ampharosite, Ability Capsule, Focus Band, or Absorb Bulb. These were randomly selected items, so, one is completely useless.”
“Don’t select ampharosite, we don’t have an Ampharos.” Nikita says
“What does everything do?” Adam asks

“In short, ability capsule changes a ability of one pokemon, focus band has a chance of having an attack that would insta kill, barely keep a mon alive, and then the bulb seed increases special defense when hit by a water move.”
“What’s our abilities?” Muscle Mon asks
“Ok.” Adam says and then opens the phone
“Remember to only find the ones with alternate abilities.” Nikita inputs
“Ok. So, Spear Mint has one that boosts bug moves and has an alternate where grass moves work better in sunlight, cause why wouldn’t they. Disaster Queen has Super Luck which makes better criticals and could alternatively have a move that lowers… pp… so It’s hitting hard or giving people erectile dysfunction, no wait, you have sturdy, which makes it so you can’t get one shot. Adad and Muscle Mon have only one. Peters has only one, and Nikita has something called pure power which doubles her attack damage.”
“Interesting.”
“So what will it be? Let’s make this democratic.” Adam says. Should you vote for Ampharosite, Ability Capsule, Focus Band, or Absorb Bulb?

PAGEBREAK

You don’t know what to choose, but that doesn’t seem to matter as Peters, Nikita, and Muscle Mon choose the focus band, spear mint chooses absorb bulb, and Adad chooses the ampharosite (Nikita says he thought it looked valuable). Nikita ended up arguing to the other two who voted with him that an anti water move items likely won’t do much because they’re in a desert. She also says that the ability capsule will only help if they’re not happy with their ability, and the two didn’t have more than one. Nikita also says that a focus band may negate getting ‘shot dead.’ After all that is discussed, Ben leaves, saying he’s gonna go to the pokecenter to make sure Nikita didn’t concuss Allstar, and to possibly find another pokemon who isn’t a terrified seal. Cupid stays and tells everyone to enter the Mosque.

Adam walks into the Mosque and finds a pitchblack void. Everyone else follows, and can’t see anything, until Adad walks in. Adad is a charizard, so his tail has a constant flame on it, and so Adam shows him it, then has him walk up front. Adad walks backwards a little, then trips. Peters sighs at this, and takes out a box of matches, and holds one out in front of himself. He walks over to Adam, and gives him an unlit one, then stops, staring at Adad.
“I think Nikita won that bet.” Peters says. You don’t know what he means, so you walk over and find that there’s a mutilated and charred body in front of you. You then hear a crack and hiss behind you, and the Mosque lights up in a pinkish red. You instinctively turn around and see Nikita has just lit a flare. The light also illuminates the graveyard you walked in on. There is hundreds of bodies around the Mosque, up on the walls, coating the floors, hanging from rafters, and all of them are burnt and mutilated like the first. This place is a holy sight, but you could feel the evil within, from the men and from the monster that did this. The atmosphere is cold and smoky, but not in a good way, like a campsite. The mosque should be lit up by the windows, but those windows are covered in cloth and smeared in blood. This place feels like hell, and the hissing and light from the flare aid that feeling. You have an unparalleled sense of dread, something you’ve never felt before. You’re filled with a primordial fear, that you cannot shake.
“Holy shit.” Adam says, with a face as pale as a ghost
“Reminds me of a town back in France. Naz-” Peters begin, unfazed by the corpses
"You'll face your death, a death you can't escape!" Muscle Mon says under his breath, with a similar look of fear as Adam, but this one has you sense panic, rather than shock. You then notice he’s staring at the very back of the Mosque, where a pair of glowing red eyes stare back, piercing your soul.

The eyes belong to a beast, slightly larger than Muscle Mon, from what you can tell. You cannot see more than a silhouette, however. The room is completely quiet, until you hear a loud inhale, before the figure bellows like a crocodile and releases a storm of fire onto some of the corpses near it, illuminating the room. You now get a good look at the creature, which is another charizard, but much bigger than Adad. It has red eyes, brownish-red scales, and full horns. A charizard normally has horns, but these are more like that of a goat’s. Its arms were also a spectacle. Unlike Adad’s stumpy and short arms, its arms were long and muscular, tipped with strong and calloused fingers, with one holding the upper half of a terrorist.
“Who approaches me, now?” it says in what you can safely say is the most deep and terrifying Australian accent, that you’ve ever heard.
“Holy shit, it’s Zodd Irwin!” Nikita says, unfazed by the spectacle
“Ha, you’d be the first to make a quip against me, before your death. I’ll be sure to mention you to my future victims.”
“I’ll be sure to mention you to some of my friends back home. You’re a really cool take on Zodd, I gotta say. Not what I was expecting, but I fuck with it.”
“Your confidence is admirable, so let us see if the dog bites as hard as it barks.” the dragon says, dropping the corpse, and grabbing something from the pile of corpses behind him. He pulls a gigantic saw-machete like sword from the pile, and points it at Nikita. The thing is around five feet long, and looks to be made of bone, rather than anything that would make sense. It has a hundred teeth jutting the sides of it, and from under the blood stains, you can see the central part is covered in a rough looking skin.

“Is that the bill of a sawfish?” Spear Mint says, looking less scared than excited
“Indeed.” The dragon says, pulling another one out
“That’s badass.” Spear Mint says, turning to Adam, with a smile on her face “I want to fight him first!”
“Bad idea!” Nikita interjects
“Oh come on.”
“Why do you want to fight him?” Adam asks
“He’s Zodd, he’s a demon, if I beat him, I’ll be a legend.”
“Ok then.” Adam says and Nikita stares at him in shock
“Why are you letting her do this?” Nikita hisses
“She asked-”
“She’s grass and bug, he’s fire, she’s double weak to him!”
“He’s got swords Nicky, I don’t think he’s going to be hitting me with a lot of fire.” Spear Mint says, annoyed
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. There’s around a hundred burnt corpses at your feet and he’s a fucking dragon, how can you think that’s the case?”
“That would make it too easy. He’s looking for a challenge. He’s playing Zodd, we both know that, and Zodd always searches for a worthy opponent. He’s not going to try that, are you?” Spear Mint says, motioning at Zodd
“We will see.” Zodd says, smirking
“Exactly. And so what, it’s pokemon, it’s not like I’m gonna die or anything.”
“DO YOU KNOW THAT?” Nikita yells

“Well, let’s see, then. Besides, this is a tutorial boss- well a cool one, but a tutorial boss, none the less. I doubt Cupid is just going to slaughter us right off the bat.” Spear Mint says, before readying herself to fight
“Alright.” Adam says “Spear Mint, use leaf blade!” Adam yells, and Spear Mint swings her sickle like arms at Zodd. She swings fast, and with great force, a combination that would be more than enough to slice the head off of a normal human. But Zodd isn’t normal, or human. Zodd catches her arm, mid swing, with his thumb over the blade. You see a single drop of blood fall from his thumb, about the amount you’d see fall from a papercut. No one moves for a second, as Zodd stares into the eyes of Spear Mint, unimpressed. Zodd then clenches his fist with Spear Mint’s arm still in it. You hear a loud crack and then smaller crunches and squelches, as Zodd slowly tightens his grip. Spear Mint screams in pure agony, as Zodd continues to squeeze, until he finally rips her arm clean off.

He holds Spear Mint’s arm above his head, and drops it to the ground, covering the floor in green blood. Spear Mint backs away, sobbing and hyperventilating, while trying to put pressure on her wound, without using her other blade. Zodd then grabs one sword with both hands, and lifts it above his head. Spear Mint stares up at it for a second, in pure terror, before Zodd swings the sword down, at the speed of a bullet, and cuts directly into Spear Mint’s head, with a crack similar to the blast of a shotgun. The sword pierced deep, as you can see the spines poking three inches out of the back of her head, while the blade also managed to split her skull in two from the sheer force of the strike, despite there being no blade to cut. Spear Mint stays still for a second, before beginning to twitch violently, and leak the green blood from the canyon that was her face. After about thirty seconds, she stops shaking, and Zodd lifts her limp corpse into the air, before swinging his sword with furiosity, to his back. Spear Mint’s corpse becomes unstuck from the spikes, and flops into the pile of dead, with this motion.

“You will face your demise! Heed the warning of Zodd the Inferno!” Zodd yells at your group, who stands frozen in fear, with the sole exception of Nikita, who stands unfazed, staring Zodd in the eyes. What do you do? There was no fainting, she’s just dead, in an instant. You have two choices here, you can try to flee, or fight. If the rules of pokemon still apply, you can run, because Zodd is a pokemon, and not a trainer. Or you can fight, you have three soldiers, two with guns, and Muscle Mon is almost the same size as Zodd. You also have Perish song, and that will guarantee his death in three turns, but how do you measure turns? Spear Mint didn’t finish her attack before she was caught, this isn’t turn based, she just died. Will it be fight or flight?

PAGEBREAK

“ADAM!” you yell “We need to run n-” you begin, but are cut off by Nikita and Peters opening fire on Zodd. After around 10 seconds, you hear a loud ping, and see both have stopped firing, for different reasons. Peters is reloading and Nikita just decided to stop. This confuses you, so you decide to see why, and find out that Zodd had covered his face with his arms. The dragon is naked, except for a loincloth, so this seemed odd, for a second, as to why he’d only guard his face. Zodd then begins to chuckle, and the bullets imbedded in his arms and torso start to fall out, dropping to the ground, creating a sound like clinking change. His wounds then begin to fill out, and completely heal, leaving no indication that a bullet ever pierced him.

“Your bullets mean nothing to me, you cannot kill an immortal, your plight is pointless. Fight and die, now!” Zodd says, before charging the group and swinging his blade at Nikita. Nikita and Peters, simultaneously, hop back, and then lunge forward, plunging their bayonets into Zodd’s ribs (Peters) and through his neck (Nikita). Zodd, begins to laugh and Peters pulls out, preparing for Zodd’s next move, but Nikita opens fire, with the barrel of the rifle nearly piercing Zodd, itself. He fires around 10 shots, swinging the stock down, so that the bullets begin traveling up to Zodd’s head. Zodd’s throat is eviscerated by the gunfire, and you can see the spine clearly. Some of the bullets also hit Zodd’s face, tearing his cheek open to reveal rows of dagger-like teeth and gums, while another blew out the part of the skull forming the eye socket, and caused his eyeball to fall loose, hanging limply from his face. Zodd’s laughter stops, and his face showed something beyond smugness for the first time you’ve seen, that being shock. In an instant, Zodd flapped his wings, in a single motion, causing him to fly backwards across the hall, and a gust of wind to tear through the crowd, nearly knocking you over.

“Oh.” Zodd says, from across the room, pushing his eye back into place, as his throat and face reform “That was interesting. Yes, that was very interesting. To use a bayonet as an anchor, to better shoot me. I like that, I like that a lot. What other tricks do you have?” Zodd finishes, while his face also finishes forming, so that he is able to smile. He smiles, not like a predator playing with it’s pray, but like a father, watching his son succeed, or what you assume that’s like. He shows respect for his opponent, for Nikita.
“Not faced a member of the Red Army, I take it?” Nikita says “The ‘anchor’, you said, is basic tactics, employed by everyone in it, though, normally we use it with one shot, under the chin, and on humans.”
“Oh, do you now? I’d love to know more.”
“And so would I, about all of what’s happening.”
“Very well. Continue to fight me, test your cunning against my might, and I will continue to answer your questions.” Zodd says, holding one of his swords out to Nikita. Nikita doesn’t take it, and instead draws his knife “A bit small, don’t you think?”
“I’ve seen someone kill a beast twice your size with a blade a third of this one’s size. Size doesn’t matter, it’s how you use it.”
“Are you trying to fight him, or fuck him?” you hear Cupid call from the entrance of the Mosque
“I’m a married mon, this is just battlefield talk. Warriors fighting warriors, is different than soldiers fighting soldiers. There’s more glory, and more gayness.” Nikita says sarcastically “Now where were we?” Nikita says, directing her attention back to Zodd

“Your first question.” Zodd says
“How does an Ausie become an apostle.”
“If you’re looking for my backstory, so be it. A war greater than any seen before, ravaged Europe, and our parent kingdom sought to bring our people to fight in it, yet this time, it was under our own banner, rather than the crown’s. Gallipoli, a shitshow of an invasion, and a hellscape taking over the beauty of the Mediterranean. Many were slain there, left nameless and faceless, left to rot in the sun. I would have joined the corpses if not for the prince of darkness, over yonder.” Zodd says, motioning at Cupid with his right-hand sword “I was given an offer: serve him for eternity, and I will live for such, with the only rule being that I bend to his will.”
“He try and make you his bitch?”
“Yes, physically and mentally. But, in the end, I was given a role as a guard, as it suited both of us better, and I am ever thankful for that! So now here we are, serving my master, as an antagonist to yourself. So, let us fight!”

“Let us!” Nikita yells, then runs at Zodd. Zodd breathes fire onto Nikita as she approaches, consuming the corridor in flames, as you watch. But, Nikita doesn’t die, not at all. Nikita comes out of the fire, unfazed, but ablaze, almost empowered by the flames, rather than hindered. She continues to charge, and plunges her knife deep into the chest of Zodd, who’s stunned from the display. She tries to rip the knife out, but plunged it too deep, and snapped the blade when pulling it out. Zodd shuffles back, from the force used, and then looks back at Nikita.
“You do not fail to amaze, do you?” Zodd says
“And China doesn’t fail to make cheap pieces of shit.” Nikita says, annoyedly looking at the bladeless hilt in their palm, while still on fire. Nikita then turns around to you “Toss me her arm.” She says, pointing at the severed arm of the late Spear Mint, as she tosses the hilt to the side.

Do you toss Nikita the arm? On one hand it feels wrong, almost like a desecration of someone, by using them like a tool. On the other hand, this may seem like a revenge, being that she died fighting this beast, and may be able to finish the fight postmortem. So will you throw it or refuse?

PAGEBREAK

You grab the arm and throw it to Nikita, who catches it by the notch. She stops for a second, after catching, and looks at her hand, which began to bleed. She then walks over to a broken pillar and rams the notch into the exposed stone until it is blunted. Nikita then holds the blade by the notch and points it at Zodd.
“Odd choice for a weapon.” Zodd says, sarcastically
“She deserved to spill a little more of your blood than that pea sized drop. I’m just making ends meet, here.” Nikita replies
“Very well.” Zodd says and then flaps his wings as he jumps into the air, before coming down, swinging both swords, at Nikita. Nikita rolls away from the blades, and catches Zodd in the throat after he lands. Nikita did do it, drawing more than a drop of blood, and severing an artery, based on how much blood splattered across the walls. The wound would be fatal for any normal man, but then again, Zodd isn’t a normal man.

Zodd takes a second to re-ready himself, as his wounds close again.
“Congrats, what a great bit of vengeance you served there.” Zodd says “But it won’t do you any good.” Zodd says, smiling, while closing his eyes. Nikita looks like she’ll take this opportunity to strike him. She swings the blade at him, but releases it at the last second, causing it to fly across the room, and feigning to his right. Zodd seems to have anticipated an attack, because he swings where Nikita would have been, had she followed through, but gets caught off guard by her trick. As Zodd’s sword connects with the ground, Nikita’s elbow connects with his jaw. Zodd eats the elbow, but nearly falls as well. Nikita has pinpoint accuracy with that elbow, you swear, as she must have hit the exact right spot. Zodd seems to see stars for a second, but catches himself on the wall, tearing candle holders and a flagpole down.

Zodd gets back up, and begins to speak, but gets his knee kicked in by Nikita, followed by an immediate second elbow, directly to the temple. This one knocks Zodd down, but not out, and tries to get up, almost immediately. Nikita prevents this by punching him straight in the nuts, then kicking him in the stomach, and stepping over him before bringing her other foot back, and slamming her heel straight into his temple in the matter of seconds. Zodd doesn’t like this and swings his swords wildly as he gets up, which Nikita calmly steps away from. Zodd re-composes himself and Nikita picks up Spearmint’s arm again.
“So, how does a wwi Ausie get into Berserk?” Nikita asks jokingly
“You tryna *cough* gatekeep, or asking genuinely?” Zodd says, gripping his nuts
“Latter.”
“Good manga. Cool story. Was something I thought was cool as a concept, and when I was able to try stuff out from it, I did.”
“And how come an immortal kheels over and dies from a nutcracker?”
“Damage can be undone, but pain is pain.”
“So like inverse pcp?”
“Sure.”

“Well then, I’ll let you know when I have another question then.” Nikita says and swings the blade at Zodd. Zodd catches this blow with his sword, sticking a tooth through the arm and cracking it open. Meat spills out of the arm, like a crab leg, and Nikita tosses it to the side, like a cigarette, rather than someone’s arm.
“Want one now?” Zodd asks, jokingly offering his sword again
“Want one, sure. Gonna use one, no. I don’t need your charity.” Nikita says as she pick up the flag pole, inspecting the tip of it, which is golden and pike-like. “This’ll do.”
“Nikita, let us help, this is getting too dangerous!” Muscle Mon says
“You will not interfere!” Zodd yells, showing visible anger for the first time “This is the most fun I’ve had in decades, and I’ll be damned if I let a green r*tard ruin it for me! You three will watch and wait, or you will die!” he says, pointing at Adad, Muscle Mon, and you “But you” he says to Peters “You’ll be a nice cooldown after I rip your friend to shreds, and hang her corpse from this temple!” Zodd says, turning back to Nikita “Any other tricks?”

“Yeah.” Nikita says as she removes the flag from the pole “I’ll show you one more!” Nikita yells as she throws the flag at Zodd, which blocks his eyesight. Zodd tries to swing his sword to knock it out of the way, but in doing so, gives Nikita an opening. Nikita channels her inner Spartan, and hurls the flag pole straight into Zodd, with a force you’d expect from an Olympics gold medalist. The pole pierces Zodd’s heart, as Zodd is able to see Nikita again, and he is moved by the force, as the pole goes around 1ft out his back, dripping in blood. However, this blow does not get a snarky comment or any real reaction from Zodd, instead his face is blank with shock, staring through Nikita, into the void. A thick viscous black liquid leaks from Zodd’s mouth and heart wound. His mouth moves, speaking no words, then he coughs, sputtering out more of the liquid, before he exhales harshly, and goes limp, falling onto the flagpole, sliding down it about a foot, before flopping onto his side. His crimson eyes get darker, and you stop seeing this glint of light in them.
“Talk shit on me all you want” Nikita begins “But you don’t fuck with my friends. Zodd was a fan of prophecies in the manga, and your destiny was written for ten minutes after you killed our IT specialist. Walk it off.” Nikita says, walking over to Zodd and taking one of his swords “And I’m keeping this.” She says, before returning to Sandler.

“So, how should we handle her.” Nikita says, pointing to Spear Mint, speaking calmly, like she didn’t just slaughter a dragon
“I… I don’t know.” Adam says, in shock
“You fucking destroyed that dragon.” Peters says
“Wasn’t my first. But anyways, we need to do something about her. Do we bring her body back to the box, or do we bury her here?” Nikita says
Should you bring her back, or bury her in Mosul?

PAGEBREAK

“We should bury her.” you say
“Why bro? She’s not from here.” Muscle Mon says “She should be brought back to her family and stuff.”
“So we just leave her to rot in the box?” Nikita asks
“No, he has a point. Maybe after all this, we can bring her back to her family, or something.” Adam says
“Do we know who they are? Do we know if she has a family to go back to? Do we know her name, or anything besides that she works in IT?”
“And what good will burying her do?” Muscle Mon butts in, sounding mad “She’ll just be forgotten here, alone.”
“We’ll remember.”
“And what if we don’t?”
“Well then, it won’t matter if we brought her back.” Peters says “In war, hell is six feet deep, and you don’t pray that your friends live, you pray that when they die, they die face down. That way, you don’t have to look at them… who you’ve lost.” Peters says and there’s a long silence

“So, let’s bury her.” Peters says “Been a while since I could give someone a proper burial. Normally just gotta leave their bodies where they lay, and hope you don’t join em. We can do it right and proper, priest and all, maybe even a full headstone.”
“Do we know what she would have wanted?” Muscle Mon says
“Nope.” Nikita says “And we can make sure not to make the same mistake. Personally, I want my remains sent to Damascus, with my name as ‘N’, they’ll know what to do with it.” Nikita finishes and then begins trying to communicate with Adad
“I don’t care what happens after I croak.” Peters says “Just that I’m with friends before hand.”
“I don’t care where I’m buried.” you say “I just want to be buried with Claire, in the end. So like, if I die, tell her where.”
“I want you to skin my corpse, and keep my skeleton in your house, Adam.” Muscle Mon says “It’ll be sick!”
“I don’t know if I can do that.” Adam says
“W-”
“Adad says to basically stick him in a tomb with all his shit and food.” Nikita says

“Is that a traditional burial?” Adam asks
“Probably.”
“Well, fair enough th-” Adam begins, but is cut off by something behind you. You turn around and see that, yes, Zodd is truly fucking immortal. He’s stood up, and is slowly pulling the spear out of himself.
“You son of a bitch!” Nikita yells
“Relax. Our fight is over, I know when to accept defeat. But I refuse to accept death.” Zodd says, as he pulls the whole thing out “Now, under normal circumstances, You would have done me in there-”
“No shit. So what? This game makes it so we can die but not anyone else?”
“That’s a nuzlocke for you.”
“What is a nuzlocke?” Adam asks
“It’s what you’re in. A game of pokemon, but one where your mon don’t faint. Yours are set free, considered dead, etc. For you all, this means if you die, you’re just dead.” Zodd finishes, as the hole seals.
“And what does that mean for you?”
“You’ll be seeing me again soon. Just make sure to be prepared next time. I will too. And, what was your name again? My killer?”
“N.” Nikita says
“N, keep the sword, you’ve earned as much.” Zodd says, before walking under one of the domes “See you in Baghdad!” he says before flying through the dome, collapsing a part of the roof, and disappearing into the sky.

The group stands around for a minute, before Adam says that everyone is going to burry Spearmint. Everyone goes back to the pokecenter and asks around for someone who can perform burials. Luckily, there is a Catholic priest there, who was asking about using a pokemon to help move some of the rubble around his church. Muscle Mon volunteers, under the agreement that he’d perform a funeral. You end up working till sundown, moving rubble and preparing the funeral, with Clint being brought out to dig the grave. Spear Mint is buried, a few minutes before the last of the sun disappears over the horizon, and then everyone else is sent back to the box, except Peters, who will help keep watch for Adam. You get back, and go to Claire and your house, and find her eating dinner. She happily greets you, but can tell something is wrong.

Adam specifically said not to tell everyone that Spear Mint died, and for everyone to wait until morning, so he can make an announcement, without scaring everyone. You want to tell Claire, and feel like she wouldn’t cause a panic, and hate the idea of lying to her. However, this isn’t the first time you lied to her about someone dying, so you know you can keep the secret. Should you tell her or not?

PAGEBREAK

“I’m sorry Claire, I can’t say yet.” you say, heading up the stairs
“Why not?” she asks
“Adam said not to, but it’s not good news.”
“I can tell that much. Is everyone ok?”
“I can’t say, I think it’s best that everyone hears it at once, so there’s no misconceptions or whatever… we’ll be fine at the end of this, though.”
“Oh…” she says, looking down at her spaghetti and meatballs. You think she has a clue of what exactly happened, but you’re not sure if she knows 100%. “So…” she replies after a second
“Yeah?”
“Want some dinner?”
“Sure.” you say and enjoy a good dinner with her. Neither of you say much during this, as your thoughts are on Spear Mint, and Claire’s are likely just panicked. You let too much slip, or too little, but regardless, it wasn’t the right thing to say. But, you have to double down and leave her in worry, until Adam says. Both of you walk up to the bedroom after dinner, and try to sleep. Both of you pretend to sleep to not worry the other, but the only people you’re lying to are yourselves. You eventually do fall asleep, after what felt like hours, but were probably only minutes, as you were mentally exhausted from the day.

You wake up, with a face full of boobs. Probably the best thing you could wake up to, especially because they were Claire’s and not your own. You don’t really move, and just sit there for a little. You close your eyes, and just stay there relaxing for awhile, but eventually feel a feeling of falling. You think it’s that falling you feel when you’re about to go to sleep, but end up feeling ground instead. You’re awake, and in the main box. You’re in very mild pain, and only have on a shirt and underwear. You’re somewhat frozen in humiliation from being seen so exposed, even though you’re still completely covered. The foreign body still doesn’t feel right on you yet, if it ever will.
“What the fuck?” Clair says, sitting up and gripping the right side of her face.
“We teleported.” you say “Are you alright?”
“Yeah.”
“ADAM IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THIS SHIT!” Maria yells, looking like death.
“Yeah, it’s like…” Lucifer begins, looking at their watchless arm “30 past too fucking early.” they finish, and then you look around the room. Everyone looks very tired, except for Adad, who seems unaffected, Nikita who looks like normal, and Rick who’s doing burpees, while wearing some strange wireless ear buds and listening to some music. He looks like he was doing his morning exercises, but got brought here and either hasn’t realized or doesn’t care, as his eyes are closed. Lucifer notices too, and taps on his shoulder. Rick pauses and then looks around.

“Morning everyone.” Rick says, taking the ear buds out.
“What are you listening to?” Nikita asks
“The Metro, by Berlin. It’s a great song.”
“Always preferred the SOAD cover myself.”
“They covered Metro?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll remember to check that out.”
“So, why are we all here?” Violette says, looking extra bitchy today, but less made up.
“I’ve not slept.” Adam says “And I’ve been up all night contemplating how I should say this, and what I can do to make this funny or something… I’m a comedian right? I should be able to make this shit funny, but I can’t.”
“What’s wrong Adam?” Maria asks, much less pissed off
“Well, I’ll just rip the bandaid off and get this part over with. Spear Mint is dead, and not in a nice fashion either. That’s why I can’t make this funny, she had her-” Adam is cut off by Nikita putting her hand over his mouth.
“That’s going to cause more fear than we need.” Nikita says “You’re sleep deprived and delusional. Let me talk.”

“We can die?” Maria says, shaking
“Yes, but not if we play this smart. Some of you know pokemon, know about fainting, know about game mechanics, and that does take place here, but not all of them. Sure we can die, but is that any different from before?” Nikita says
“What killed her?” Daren asks
“A dragon, like Adad, but stronger… anyone read Berserk before?” Nikita says and Maria, Violette, Rick, and Clint say they do, with Clint giving a much more sorrowful agreement. “Well, it’s basically Zodd, to a T, if he was a charizard.”
“Oh God.” Maria says, under her breath
“But do not worry. He can be beaten, he’s not as strong as the real Zodd. I killed him… sort of.”
“Sort of?” El Toro asks
“He died and came back. He said that because of the rules of the game, he won’t die.”
“But we will?” Donut asks, angered
“Yes.”
“So it’s a Nuzlocke then?” Rick says
“Exactly.”
“Welp, we’re fucked.” Violette says

“No!” Nikita yells “We must continue to fight, or we will die. This changes nothing, we all feared death before, and Spear Mint only died because she was under the impression that she couldn’t. She got too confident, ignored the danger, and got sloppy-”
“SO YOU’RE BLAMING HER?!” Clint yells, in hatred
“No. No one person is to blame for this… not even Zodd. But, we can use her as an example. She died so that we don’t have to.”
“SHE’S A PERSON NOT A SYMBOL! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”
“She is. But still, she didn’t die in vein, and as much as I’d like to take longer to address her death, mourn, or do anything like that, we can’t. Don't dwell too much on this. If it clouds our judgment, and our actions, we’ll all join her soon. I know it’s a lot to ask, but we need to fight on. All of us do. Clint, I specifically asked to bring you for the funeral because I could tell the two of you got close in the short time you knew each other, and I know that you would have regretted it if you had not done so.”
“HOW WOULD SEEING HER DEAD HELP?”
“As someone who’s lived in regret of not being there in the end, when some of my own friends died, I know this will bring you more closure than you think it will.”
“And what, you’re all knowing now?”
“No. I’ve just been in your place, and if I could have been there, I would have.”
“And… you… fuck!” Clint yells and runs off into his box. Adam looks like he’s about to bring Clint back, but Nikita stops him.

“He needs time to mourn.” Nikita says “We all do. We should take a day’s rest before pressing onward. And that means you too, Adam. How are you going to lead when you look like you’ll collapse from exhaustion any second now.” Nikita says and Adam nods
“So, we’re just taking a day off?” Rick asks
“Yeah, a day off. Peters watched Adam last night, so who’s going to watch him today?”
“I will.” Maria says
“Very well. Here” Peters says, walking over to Maria and giving her a handgun “In case of emergency.”
“Thank you.” she says, and then she and Adam walks out of the box so Adam can sleep. Nikita then says to enjoy your day off while you can, clear your heads, and rest, as everyone will need it soon. Claire, Donut, and you walk back to your box, not talking at all. You get home, and have breakfast in silence. You get a full day to do whatever you want with your girlfriend and your new house, but it all feels wrong. Still, you need the rest, and now that you know that death is around the corner, you’re gonna use this time to the fullest before you go back and fight with everything you can to keep him around that corner. You rest now in the eye of the storm, and you’ll be damned if you waste this time.

copyrights:
Zodd: Kentaro Miura/Hakusensha
pokemon: gamefreak/nintendo
Muscle Man: Cartoon network